Chapter 9 Episode 15: My Unsavory Ideal 4

Much like before, things tune in elsewhere for the moment for a change in pace. This time the camera settles on Aoyama as Arslan says he’ll be heading out, asking Maria to hold the fort. Maria asks everyone to stay safe.

Arslan starts talking about how difficult Azazel is, but he thinks that it’ll probably be okay. So long as Maria is there he probably won’t leave the guild. Nyarlathotep is the same as ever doing whatever in hell he wants.

Maria tells Arslan not to worry, saying that Nyarlathotep has love. It’s hard to comprehend, but it’s there, same as them. Arslan doesn’t argue the point or anything, so Maria says they’re slowly coming to learn about each other. It’ll be okay she says.

Arslan still has some misgivings but trusts her decision. Then he starts reminiscing about the idea of love and about the Missionaries’ beginning, looking into the distance and squinting his eyes. He wonders where the guildmaster could be right now, saying they could be a lot of help in these dangerous times.

Maria guesses that if they never return, they must be out there saving someone. They also probably think the rest of the guild is okay, she supposes. Arslan is surprised she can smile at this, then says she’s grown up with a broad smile of his own.

Arslan says he thinks the guild should be fine if he isn’t around anymore. Maria sharply tells him not to talk like that. She feels she could never give enough thanks to the ones who still trust in her. Arslan says there’s still others here who trust her and walk with her now, then laughs about them (Managarm, Nyarlathotep, and Azazel) being mostly weirdos.

Even so, Arslan says it’s weird how relaxed he feels. Maria asks him to come back, and Arslan says he’ll try. When asked if it’s really that dangerous, Arslan says he can’t talk about it because of his role. But if it does work out, they might be able to get closer to the heart of things he says as he glances at his treasure sword.

Arslan says it’s about time to head out and asks to have his message to stay healthy passed on. Maria watches him go until he disappears from sight, then hangs her head. Managarm runs up after that to say that some of the Summoners have arrived. Maria composes herself and says she’ll see them soon, back to her usual self.

Ryouta and Hanuman are the ones who set out for Aoyama. Hanuman announces themselves like heroes while Ryouta greets Maria and thanks her for making time to see them. Maria welcomes them, and Ryouta is about to say something after looking around when Managarm speaks first.

He confirms that the guild has emptied out a bit. The ones who normally guard the inside base and the ones that patrol outside have quit the guild. The place has been bleeding members since Michael attacked. Maria adds that since the bulk of the forces come from Eden, there’s a bit of a splitting up.

Ryouta notes the Eden bit, and Maria says it’s because of Michael. Eden is very big on rankings and Maria figures the angels find it hard on a mental level to defy orders from above. Gabriel is quiet, and Managarm tries to hurry the point along and says that isn’t all to it.

Thing is, even the non-angel members have been steadily leaving the guild. He says that based on numbers their influence is decidedly big. Ryouta says he saw the message from Shirou on the group chat and asks if it’s because of the guild in the West. Maria comments on you guys knowing and confirms that to he the case.

Managarm namedrops the Warmongers, and Maria says they seem to be using other methods to take members from other guilds. That is, they seem to be spreading a part of the memories of the past loops and using that to build up their forces.

Ryouta asks about them giving memories, and Maria says you guys should know about how certain Transients are able to do that. They use weapons, information, and past memories and hand them out arbitrarily. Currently they’re spreading out war memories involving the use of artifacts to harm others.

The memories of the past loops are raw and vivid for the people living in Tokyo according to Maria, and Managarm says that it looks as though the people next to you can suddenly attack you or your friends if it came to it. Most people wouldn’t be able to trust them, which he is very familiar with. And on the flip side, you’d also see that you were a person who could attack others at a moment’s notice.

Managarm then talks about how in a battle in the app with artifacts, all injuries and mental damage can be reverted when it’s over. The memories remain though, so what happens afterwards is predictable enough. He calls those it happens to tragic, people who mutter about how they remember and are always afraid. Eventually, they vanish from the guild.

Azazel comes back at this point and continues with the conversation, saying those people isolate themselves from their community. When that happens, it isn’t that hard to deal with them. Ryouta greets Azazel and Maria is glad to see him back. Managarm however demands an explanation of where he went now of all times. Maria speaks up for him saying she asked him to investigate for her.

Azazel says he’s found out about certain things, but he asks if she’s sure, even if she really were to remember everything. Maria says she doesn’t mind and that she wants to remember all the memories from previous loops, which shocks all others present.

Managarm tries to talk Maria out of it, saying everyone else who remembered became unable to trust anyone. Maria says she knows, and that it’s because of that that she has to find everything out.

Maria declares again that she has to know everything. What is it that people are worried about? Once she knows that, she says she’ll finally stand on the field of battle. She feels she won’t be able to keep going past this point only by using words, and Gabriel expresses worry for her.

After a moment, Maria turns to Ryouta and says she called him over because she has a request for him. He’s surprised by this but offers to do it if he can. Maria says she’ll tell him later, then addresses Hanuman. He’s also surprised to be addressed and says he could never keep his mouth shut in a serious moment.

Maria says she asked him to come because she has something to ask of him too. Hanuman agrees to it right away, as long as he is able to do whatever it is. Maria then brings up a certain guild in Asakusa, the Taoshis. Like the Outlaws, they’ve sworn to non-aggression and non-intervention though in different ways. The Missionaries have continually tried to discuss an alliance with them, but it hasn’t gone anywhere.

However, Maria says there’s someone who’s willing to mediate if it’s for Hanuman’s sake. Hanuman can’t think of who that could be, but Maria says it’s about time for them to arrive.

As you guys wait, Maria notices their cups are empty so she goes to get some more tea. That reminds Ryouta that they brought along snacks, and he starts bringing them out. Hanuman notices it’s from that nice popular place with long lines and is impressed Ryouta got some. Ryouta says he wanted Maria to have some and is glad he bought so much for himself.

Maria asks him to set the snacks out since he bought them for himself. Ryouta says it should be shared with everyone and talks about how sweets are great when you’re tired. He also believes that when times are tough you have to be able to smile. People will notice if you’re smiling but don’t have any energy behind it. Hanuman then adds a comment on the importance of breaks.

Gabriel apologizes and says she wants to go back to her room. Maria asks if she’ll be okay alone, and Ryouta suggests she have some of the sweets. Hanuman also tries to encourage her. Gabriel thanks them and excuses herself.

Ryouta wonders if he was being too pushy. Hanuman starts comparing things to a dating sim and wonders if they made some wrong choices earlier. Maria says it should be fine. Gabriel was wrung our earlier, but now she was able to smile a little bit. Maria also says she thinks it’s nice how Ryouta and Hanuman can remind people of more peaceful times.

Maria talks about how nostalgic it is and how she was always the one being helped. Ryouta doesn’t particularly remember that though. But anyways Maria brings out some plates and forks and says they may as well eat, at which point the one she was waiting for turns up.

Gandharva shows up, and Hanuman is surprised as he recognizes him. Gandharva greets him and calls him prince, which shocks Ryouta. Hanuman just takes it in stride.

Scene then shifts over to your side as Hephaestus calls out to you. Solomon seems to show up for a second, and Hephaestus notices him again. You try to call to him, but Solomon apologizes as he says it seems he really can’t come over to this side. He stops trying, and Hephaestus is shocked your witch Exception transformation stopped on its own. It’s not a thing that’s supposed to be possible.

Hephaestus says that an Exception as the collapse of the system due to a logical contradiction can only either happen or not happen. Even if there’s a system in place to stop a rampage on its own, it won’t work unless it’s actually installed.

Hephaestus then has a brainwave and asks if Solomon was the safety valve, a way for a rampaging concept to vent out from the main body. He theorizes that maybe your memories, including the more painful ones, have been cut from you to protect your heart, which Solomon might have something to do with.

He stops thinking about that for the moment and starts crying in relief that you’re okay, collapsing to the floor. You call out to him and say you’re okay, though there’s still some pain. Hephaestus cries about how kind you are to worry about him despite how your condition should make you worse off than him.

He talks about how kind you are, even after remembering about all the deaths you’ve suffered at other people’s hands throughout the loops. On that point he seems to realize something and wonders if the safety valve includes that. With the memories have been cut off, maybe that’s why you don’t feel anything about yourself, though he starts coughing before he gets all of it out.

You ask if he’s okay, apologize for going overboard, and/or(?) start talking about how that’s never happened to you before. Going A if it matters, Hephaestus starts talking about how he couldn’t do anything. The one who really saved you was that dragon’s shadow. He tried yet he couldn’t do anything, so he starts crying again about his uselessness as he looks at his broken robots.

You either refer to them as the robots he made or call them his friends. Narration then reveals that at the point when your power meltdown was at its worst, Talos had run out in front of Hephaestus, holding you to shield him from the blast. Hephaestus denies that he was his friend or sibling, saying he was his ideal that he made. He pokes at a broken piece of Talos’s leg with a mix of sadness and jealousy.

Hephaestus says he really couldn’t become someone who could be loved by you. He pulls up the bottom of his pants to show you his legs, and you comment on his legs or his prosthetics. Either way he says it’s because of them that he couldn’t help you this time either. But it’s not the only thing. He calls himself ugly and garbage and helpless, and that you abandoning him was simply going to happen.

Because of that, he at least wanted to make an idealized version of himself, one that could be loved by you. You awkwardly try to tell him you aren’t his mother, and after a moment he says he knew from the start. He knows in his head that you don’t remember being his mother. And he knows that calling you that bothers you.

But still, whenever he looks at you he ends up remembering. He can’t help but remember the mother he loved, and the feelings that say he wants you to believe in him, to love him. He knows logically that you aren’t them, but his heart still wants you to love him.

The talk about believing reminds you of the talk Musashi had with you inside the workshop about knowing others and knowing yourself. The flashback repeats up to the point where he says you should think of an artifact as a part of yourself and how he was kidding after that. You then start talking to Hephaestus.

You start talking about how you don’t know anything about him yet, how you don’t remember anything about yourself. You don’t know anything...so you want to know more about him and know him more after this. As Hephaestus is about ready to burst into tears again, you either say you want to start over from there, you want to think about things from there, or you want to start liking him after that.

Hephaestus starts sobbing next to the broken remains of Talos. After a few hiccups, he starts by introducing himself over again, and the episode ends.