Fabulous Summer Host Episode 2 Part 2 (Abridged)

Oscar: You ever see those guys who play whatever role and always end up being themselves? Barong's one of them. You can ask him to be anything and he'll put his all on stage. So what his customers want is him himself! Do you think you can live without ever hiding anything? Not me! Don't try too hard, but I won't stop you from tipping god if you want to.
Narration Zone
Barong: I'm dancing again, putting my whole self up there. The blood rush makes me feel alive as I feel every little sensation of the show. And then I start trancing out as I feel myself blur with everyone and everything. Apparently most people never felt that, so I want them too! It's that one moment when I feel like I'm a customer's God.

Present
The Summer Host bar is doing well so far. Team Y'golonac was winning at first, but now...
Bael: Barong stole the lead singlehandedly.
Y'golonac: Why'd he gotta be on HIS team?
Y'golonac looks at Barong. Barong is entertaining people.
Barong: Hey how about I take your tip from your mouth?
Guy A: YES DADDY
No touching, but customers still get the fantasy of having Barong to themselves.
Barong: Uh-uh, no looking away now. 'til next time!
Barong winks and leaves Guy A to collapse while going to his next table!
Guy B: Me next! I've been your fan since your hotel manager days!
Barong: Aww thanks! (keeps dancing)
Y'golonac: how in hell has he not stopped dancing for a whole hour now?
MC: He seems to be having fun / Wow he really likes dancing / can I be one of his customers?
(C) Y'golonac: No baby. You want dancin', you got me in jazzercise at home.
Y'golonac jiggles in place. He jiggles everywhere.

Shino: He can't keep that up forever.
Y'golonac: Nah, boy actually might. Like what if he just fall over like it naptime for tired baby?
Perun: Hmm... what if we got him into our team?
Bael: That may not be necessary. Look, his teammates are worried about him too.
Tetsugyuu: Dude, Barong, maybe you should stop? What if you feel it tomorrow?
Barong: Who cares about tomorrow? Gotta make the customers excited! Dance with me?
Tetsugyuu: Um... you think I'll help the team better if I learn to dance?
Barong: Sure! You too, Sarutahiko!
Sarutahiko: Nah, bro.
Barong: Come onnn, you never know!
Bael: ...my super elite brain can't tell when he'll stop.
Perun: New plan, we conquer and steal his Performance skills for ourselves.
Y'golonac: NOOOO
Perun: In the war of survival, take your enemies' strengths for yourself!
MC: Evil! / We gotta do better / Maybe I should practice with him

A mob walks up to Barong.
Governor A: Um, thank you for earlier Barong.
Barong: Oh hey you again! Couldn't forget me?
Governor A: No. Wait, yes? Um, could you go on break and go on a date with me outside? (holds hand out)
Y'golonac: Damn, look at that bad boy gettin' all brave and askin' Barong for an off hours date. It's against the rules, so do it and go look bad!
Barong: Sorry, don't think I'm going on break today.
Governor A: You're going to keep dancing all day!?
Barong: Maybe? Maybe it'll hurt later, but I don't wanna stop the rhythm and the beat.
Governor A: Is it about money? I have money!
Barong: Nah, I dance because it's the only way I know how to be myself.
The mob seems genuinely upset. Even Barong notices.
MC: Damn / So pro / omg he actually said no!?
Y'golonac: Boo!
Bael: Stop thinking about that and start thinking about how to win!
Mobs: Y'golonac, when you coming back?
Y'golonac: Oh, right! I'mma come right now babies!
Everyone goes back to their tables. Barong keeps dancing.

Later
Barong: Okay Tsukuyomi I'm starting to feel it, can I take a break?
Tsukuyomi: Sure, you've been overdoing it.
Barong: Thanks, tell my kitties I'll be back soon!
MC: I guess he really is tired... does he seem off somehow?
Tsukuyomi: ...hey MC, how about we go on break together? We've been at it all day.
Beach
Barong's getting a lot of attention.
Barong: La la la~
He's still dancing.
MC: (clap) You sure are having fun. / Aren't you on break?
(AB) Barong: Whoa, MC? You could've told me if you wanted to go on break together.
(C) Barong: Ha, dancing doesn't tire me. Dancing is life!

Barong: Hey, let's dance MC! I'll lead!
MC: wait what / just a bit then / okay!
Barong takes MC's hand and starts humming, then takes MC into a ball dance.
MC: hey this is pretty nice!
Barong: Haha, you can keep going huh? How about we step it up?
Barong starts a faster tempo song but easily leads MC through the faster steps.
Barong: Whoo, hang on tight MC!
Barong holds onto MC and spins!
MC: OH MY GOD / (throw your arms and legs out and pose) / Yeaaah!
More people start watching, so Barong shows off more.

Later
Barong: Finale time! Don't worry, I'll catch you.
Barong throws MC up and the two pose to roaring applause!
MC: Thanks people! / whoo, sweaty! / tireeed
Barong: That was awesome! We were vibing that second half. We better stop though before we go back tired.
People want to give money, but Barong politely declines. Barong then sits down and gestures MC to sit next to him.
Barong: That was fun! I wonder if it's okay to have every day be that fun.
MC: If you had fun, it's good / Let's dance again sometime / I'm so dead tomorrow
Barong: I would've danced forever if that was gonna be the best dance ever. It was good for a stage, but for an opera it--
MC: ...Barong?

Barong: ...oh, no. Just thinking I didn't sound like myself. But what does that even mean?
Barong goes all out on every show because there's on guarantee of a next one. It's not like he'll live forever. Barong looks at MC.
Barong: Can I ask you something? When you see me dancing...what do you feel?
MC: It's awesome / like 'omg?' / (404 vocabulary not found)
---
(AB) Barong: Haha, as long as you enjoy it.
(C) Barong: Ha, nice. But I can do better.
---
Barong: I dance to make people happy, so if they get happy it's all good. But then sometimes people look at me all sad. But why though? Oscar said don't mind, but...
Hmm, break's been on for a while.
Barong: ...MC, can you stick around longer to hear me out?

There are people who come to Barong's shows because they want to feel special, but the audience who talks to Barong always get this answer:
Barong: Sorry, I can't. But tonight's show was definitely just for you.
Barong (narrating): Everyone who wants to keep me for themselves fall apart, so Oscar said telling them that was for the best. He also said I'm only a fitting partner for God. But rather than smile like I want them to, those audience members frown. I just be myself, but people want someone more than I am. Or themselves. One of the two.
Present
Barong: That happened today too. People came to talk to me, but looked sad when they left.
Barong lies down on the sand, wondering if his team is mad at him.
Barong: This is the only way I know how to light up my life. But people say it's sad how cheaply I dance. I think it's fun and awesome though. What do you think, MC? Am I realistic?
MC: No, but it's nice you've got conviction / Yes, but let people dream / No, but I get how your customers feel
(C) Barong: Huh. What's that mean?

Barong seems to feel better at MC's response. Sarutahiko barges into the conversation!
Sarutahiko: Eh, I think you don't need to worry about it.
Barong: Wait, you're on break now too!? There'd only be two of us left then!
Sarutahiko: Nah, I was sent to make sure you didn't fall into a plot hole. Damn you sandy. How about I fix you up?
Sarutahiko sits down to clean Barong.
Sarutahiko: So like, I know this one dancer girl WHO TOTALLY AIN'T MY WIFE who's good at lying to herself. Customers go away not totally happy all the time. Making people have fun ain't everything in life.
Barong: !?
Sarutahiko: I mean, we all have things we don't understand in other people, especially if we believe in different things. So not everyone can understand when you want to live life on your own terms.
Barong seems unhappy.

Sarutahiko: Heh, you don't believe me because we believe in different things. In that case, you gotta get a little closer.
Barong: But I go all out in dancing!
Sarutahiko: Not like that, geez. I'm saying the guys who talk to you get you on some level, some of which knew you'd turn them down. But they just wanted to say you were cool, not ask you to change. Like, maybe that's good enough. If they say they don't get you at all, then just talk it out.
Barong doesn't seem to get it.
Barong: what
Sarutahiko: Dammit I have to spell it out!? You may like whoring yourself up to bits, but some people may just like wanting to do something for you!
MC: You didn't get that!? / are you really getting anything? / what
Sarutahiko: I'm saying you can answer folks after you figure out how they feel. If you don't want them to be sad, try getting closer?
Barong: But I'll stay the same as I am...
Sarutahiko: Figures...
MC: Maybe tell them what makes you happy, Barong?
Sarutahiko: Maybe? Not that that'll be easy...
Barong: MC, wait that's it!

Later
MC, Barong, and Sarutahiko get back to the beach bar.
Tetsugyuu: Finally! What happened to you two?
Barong: Oops! MC and I were dancing on the beach.
Tetsugyuu: Why bother going outside if you were gonna do that!?
Y'golonac: Hey thanks MC! We started catchin' up with you keepin' Barong busy out there!
MC: That wasn't my plan... / what have you been doing / (evil thumbs up)
Tsukuyomi: Now now, the day isn't over yet. Barong, you good to go?
Barong: Yep!

Night
Everyone gets together around the stage. Who made number one today?
Ophion: Good work everyone, thank you for proving me right. And now for the big announcement!
Everyone present gets excited!
Ophion: Today's number one host is...Barong!
Lots of confetti and cheering as Barong goes up!
Barong: Thanks you guys!
More cheering! Barong waves!
Ophion: Okay now, I hear the number one of the day gets to pick the song we end the day with apparently.
Barong: Oh, right, that. I was thinking I'd dance instead of sing. I know it's a break from tradition, but I hope you guys join me! Get the music started! Anyone who wants in, get up here!
MC: Me! / Congrats! / (look for someone to dance with)

Bael: Dancing? I'll show you how a high society member dances!
Tetsugyuu: Are you talkin' about Boss!? Me first!
Shino: Want! ...no wait, do not want! Actually, yes! No, wait...
Tsukuyomi: You guys we are still on the clock here.
Customers are whispering loudly.
Livestreamer A: OMG Shino's going for it! He's really going for it, Shino and his tragic Beauty and the Beast OTP 5ever!
Guy B: Naw, it's Tetsugyuu ftw! The Boss/Minion ship that goes down together in that super messed up way!
Girl C: Nah, it's the "I can fix him" ship with Bael!
Tsukuyomi: ...well okay then! That happens too. In which case, you have to pick Big Brother, MC.
Tsukuyomi grabs MC's hand and winks at the nearby mobs.
Mobs: OMG WE STAN

Perun looks mad and chugs a drink.
Sarutahiko: Aren't you gonna dance, Perun? I figured you were gonna charge MC straight away.
Perun: Pah! Me? The emperor? Dance?
Sarutahiko: I mean if that's what you really want, but I think you actually want in.
Perun: Out of my sight before they start dancing, washboy!
Sarutahiko: (holds out hand) Heh, fine I'll drag you over. I know how to guide hardheads like you, but not as well as Uzume can.
Perun: F-fine, I shall graciously allow this!
Sarutahiko: Yeah sure whatever. Hey you guys!
Bael: How dare they get in the way!

It's time for the MC Bowl again!
Y'golonac: Back off Tsukuyomi, you ain't even on this team! Come on y'all, gotta cheer for Barong! (hands out confetti and drink guns) It SUCKS he won number one today, but we gotta congratulate him as parta the game!
MC: Wow, you DO have a good side Y'golonac! We got this!
Y'golonac: Count o' three y'all! Aim real good!
MC: wait what
Y'golonac: Gwehehe, I supermodded them drink and confetti guns in case this happened.
Bael: I like how you think. Knock the number one off his perch and take his spot for ourselves!
Y'golonac: You know it! Get 'im boys!
MC: NO WAIT STOP / YEAAAHHHH
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Y'golonac: Wait why didn't Barong react!?
Perun: Impressive!
Barong: Thanks everybody!
Barong shrugged off everything and goes to dance with people! Everyone he dances with looks happy!
Barong: Next! Oh, you.
It's one of Barong's regular customers.
Barong: I'm glad you came, 'cause there's something I want to let you know! Look, everyone is watching us. Not bad huh? The lights, the cheers, the attention, I love it so much I've never thought of leaving the stage. I'm happy you like me, but that's why I turned you down. But I got one little thing I wanna ask. Come see me again where I'm happy on stage!
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 3 Part 3 (Abridged)

Once upon a time when Bael had fallen to the level of a demon, he was made #1 on the hierarchy of the All-Knowing King. Bael is proud of what he remembers of this. At the time it was the most competitive, revolutionary, whatever Karen's evolutionary thesis System around. It could get you somewhere further than Eden and Gehenna could if you were picked as the top! And that's probably why Bael started caring about the position of number one so much.
When Bael came to Tokyo, the king never showed up while the demons were put into a new, incomplete System. 24 worlds, 3 factions. Hmm, sounds like something the king would do. While the 23 Reps fought for the trophy, Bael went in for something else. He wanted to be the top of the next System to show his respect for the king. Nobody else mattered, he just wanted to be the king's number one.

Present
Astaroth: Good thing the golems weren't made to be that strong!
Bathym: Yeah it's nice kicking number one's ass like this.
Amduscias: Bathym, don't break them!
Amduscias punches out golems! The Ars Goetia demons smile and pretend like nothing is wrong!
Bathym: Dusy, do you see yourself here?
Sitri: Oh my god, Amduscias and Astaroth? So strong? I want that...
Ose: Grass greener and stuff. Like how they wish they were as cute as us.
Sitri: I'm not cute! You've got at will Transformation!

Bael G1: Wow Sitri, you've got time to talk in front of me in a fight?
Sitri: S-shut up, I'm working out still!
Ose: There's more ways of fighting than just brute force, you know.
Ose dodges the golems and taps them in the core!
Sitri: Oh my god teach me your ways!
Ose: Sure.
Bael G1: Why are you getting in our way!?
Astaroth: We're fighting for our lives!
Bael G1: MC, do you hate our service too!?
MC: Love it! / I'll get the real Bael to do that / Sorry...
---
(AB) The Bael golems seem to feel better about that.
---
The golems power down and things end without issue.

Later
Vapula: Thanks guys! Revaprogramming time!
One of the golems start talking.
Bael Golem: MC, I just wanted you to accept me...
He seems to be remorseful.
Later
Guy A: Oh wow, you're back?
Bael Golem: Yes, I was called away for...stuff. I'm back now, sorry about that.
Guy A: Oh okay. So are you the real Bael?
Bael Golem: You got me!
The Bael golems leave MC as directed and go back to serving other customers.
Astaroth: Okay whew, it worked out. Sorry you got mixed up in all that, MC.
MC: Was Bael always like that? / Yesss, doting Bael! / Thanks for helping.

Astaroth: Were you surprised by how Bael was?
Bathym: He hides it, but he's a big a stan as Lucifuge is. We all used to be a group where we were top class in our fields. Being proud of our spot was also being proud of our grouping. Too over your head? Well being in the second gen business model means we got our opinions on it.
Astaroth: MC, I know you're busy but...can you go look for the real Bael? He'd be happy if you found him.
MC: I doubt he'll show it / Okay, hint please! / Won't he get pissy?
(A) Astaroth: Heh, I guess. He can be surprisingly easy to read at times though.
(B) Astaroth: I think you already know. Somewhere quiet and away from here.
(C) Astaroth: He'll just pretend to be, promise.

Astaroth: You mean a lot to Bael. He admired who you used to be, and... (looks into the distance) Did you know Bael wants to be number one but never seems happy even when we agree to it? Kind of sad to admit, but I think the one he actually wants to accept that is you.
MC: All part of being a tsundere I guess. He's probably happy inside. / I don't think that's ME me.
---
(AB) Astaroth: Heh, you think? I hope so.
(C) Astaroth: Right, he might not be seeing the actual you just yet. But...
---
Astaroth: He's looking at your future and marketing an undefined possible self. I shouldn't say anything more though, you should ask him. Oh, one more thing. I don't think he's noticed himself, but his ears and tails twitch a little when you call him. Maybe try that.
MC: Okay / fiiine I guess / Ooh

Later
After the golem mess was dealt with, Bael went off to sit on the beach.
Bael: (on the phone) Yes, I haven't found anything so far. I'll call if I do...am I enjoying being a host and forgetting the job? Rude! This wasn't my idea!
Bael gets off the phone and starts staring at the wall in the distance.
Bael: ...good, nobody's come over to ask me to grant their wish.
MC: oh my god you're actually here? / Found you! / (play Guess Who?)
---
(AB) Bael: MC, why are you here!?
(C) Bael: ...MC, you're the only one who does anything this stupid.
---
Bael: Why did you come here when you could've won just by staying in the bar today?
MC: Pffft, you wanted me to come / Said the slacker / Coming over meant more
(AB) Bael: Hmph. Well now you fell into my trap. I never said I'd grant wishes for free. Sucks for you, giving up your chance at being number one today.
(C) Bael: Heh, did me granting a wish sound that good to you? I never said it'd be free.

Bael: Haha, you'd best not take a devil at face value...but I GUESS I could write up a contract for you.
Bael pushes up his glasses and looks away.
Bael: Astaroth put you up to this, didn't they?
MC: I have to thank them later / Pffft, softie / They're a good friend, don't forget that.
Bael: Today was their fault! I can't go saying I'm number one if I accepted help...
MC: Then why'd you go along with it? / Yeah you didn't seem to like the plan / Do you hate losing out on number one?
Bael: I just hated how that angel put you up on a pedestal when you should get there yourself. Heh, if you want to be number one, I can make that happen. I have some noblesse oblige to uphold if you have that much hope in me. It's actually kind of nice to be helped by the plebs.
Bael stands up and pats himself down.

Bael: Alright, I'll walk you back to the bar. It's about time I flexed what being number one meant to everyone. You'd best be careful of me stealing your heart.
MC: ...Bael.
Bael: (ears and tail twitches slightly) ...what?
MC: Congrats on being number one / Nothing / Wow your ears and tail DO twitch
(A) Bael: T-that's not for sure yet! You take the spot, or else! ...b-but if I do win, then thank you.
(B) Bael: WHAT? You can't just call my name so casually or...o-or else I'll get carried away, so please stop.
(C) Bael: ...I should punish you for your bluntness. You ought to keep quiet of these things.
And then Astaroth screams some time later when Bael gets back to the bar.

Later
Y'golonac: Good work, y'all! Because damn that really happened. Anyhoo, time for today's number one to come on up! (winks at Bael)
Astaroth: He's calling for you, Bael.
The other Ars Goetia demons clap. Everyone's seen Bael's management abilities today, just like how he handled being number one of 72 once.
Bael: I know. But before that...thank you.
Gasping demons! Then smirking demons.
Bathym: Tomorrow's forecast: flying pigs!
Sitri: Hey, you can thank me by tutoring me then.
Amduscias: Ooh, I'm gonna try my best too!
Vapula: You'll let the vaprogramming thing go then, right?
Bael: SHUT UP...but Astaroth, I guess your meddling does help sometimes.
Astaroth: ...heh, you're welcome!
Bael smiles at the demons for once instead of frowning!

Y'golonac: Damn, you actually have friends? Was that body double thing theirs?
Bael: Well of course a high class person like me has high class friends. Excuse me for taking number one before you.
Y'golonac: Ooh spicy baby. Well it's your spotlight so congrats man. Must be nice to have friends to show off too. I gotta do better too...
Bael notices Y'golonac looking at MC and Tsukuyomi. Then he looks at the Ars Goetians.
Bael: ...I was highly considering ditching you partway, but thank you for bringing me.
Y'golonac: Oh my god did being numbah one change you?
Bael: Maybe just for today.
Bael takes the mic on goes on stage.
Bael: Say my name, cheries!
Mobs and Ars Goetians: Bael!
Bael: Yes, thank you all! In honor of that, I'll pick a love song to sing tonight...
Bael prepares to sing, and everyone gives their full attention.
Later on, when the day is done, Bael walks alone on the beach. There's a message alert on his phone, and Bael responds by text.
Bael: No evidence discovered. Little risk of being discovered.
Bael stares at his text for a bit, then hits send.
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 3 Part 2 (Abridged)

Bael: ...your seat. This is the Bael Special☆Demon's Love.
Astaroth is pleased. Bael is very displeased.
Astaroth: Oh cheer up, Bael! How about a toast of this...Bael Special whatsit?
Bael: Don't repeat it! ugggggh this is why I never said anything to you, "Master" Astaroth.
Astaroth ordered the bar's most expensive bottle.
Astaroth: Sorry I came without telling you, but you'd never have said a word if I didn't, would you?
Bael: No. How'd you even know I was here?
Astaroth: You underestimate things a lot. I know how to do research too, you know. So when does the customer service part start?
Astaroth holds up a glass. Bael gives up and plays along.

Bael: Ahem. Thank you for choosing me, cherie. Careful, this devil's after your heart.
Astaroth: Wow! You could be number one anywhere.
Bael: Happy now? Please leave yesterday.
Astaroth: Hey, don't ruin the mood so quick!
Bael: ...why are you even here?
Astaroth: Not to tease if that's what you're worried about. I We came to cheer you on.
More of the Ars Goetia demons show up!
Sitri: I got peer pressured into coming...
Bathym: Hey BaeBae, pour one out for me! Sorry if I steal all your customers!
Vapula: It's vaparticularly busy here I see. And the interior setup is--oh wait never mind.
Amduscias: I'm here again!
Bael: but why tho, I don't even want to be number one host. Door's that way, thank you.
The demons are confused.

Astaroth: Bael do you have sunstroke?
Bael: What, you think I want to be number one in EVERYTHING?
The demons are vibing.
Bael: When I say I want to be number one, I want to be number one in absolute power! Not some trifling bar host! And you think I would stoop to calling you all for help?
Bathym: Aww...oh well, wanna check the place out, Sitri?
Vapula: Aww, but I vaprepared so hard for this!
Astaroth: Bael, wait please!
Oh look who else is here.
Michael: I heard Big Brother is here! I'm going to help him better than anyone else pretending to be his family!

Later
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi are sitting together.
MC: hELP??? / What would you like to drink?
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi: One of your best bottles.
Cat: Right away!
Lots of cheering! Except for the Cold War going on at the table.
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi: ...sibling-in-law.
MC: Oh god couldn't you guys come on different days? / WELP / Thank you very much☆
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi: >:C
Fuxi: SIIIISTER! Make it two bottles!
Micheal: BIG BROOOOTHER! Three bottles!
Amaterasu: F-four bottles then! Mommy Big Sis will help you!
MC: But the price tag?? / Nooo don't fight over me~ / Thanks, love ya☆
Amaterasu: Is this what you and Smoky God do for socializing? It's okay, I know my finances.
Fuxi: Hmm, he's been gone since the staff called him away. It's okay, I won't flout the rules.
Michael: You'll always be my number one!
Amaterasu and Fuxi: NO ME

Meanwhile
The Ars Goetia demons are watching MC and Michael.
Bael: Change of plans. Help me out as your boss!
Bathym: Uh okay but why the change of heart?
Bael: Isn't it obvious? We're putting that bratty little angel in his place! MC is OUR number one, not his and not anyone else's!
Amduscias: are you telling us to fight him or something
Bael: No, make ME today's number one host. We will beat MC and the World Reps!
Astaroth: Now that's the Bael I know!
Bael: Astaroth, battle plans!
The Ars Goetia demons smile at seeing Bael back to normal.
Sitri: So like, don't base your plans on my wing feathers, okay?
Astaroth: I know. We have our own way of doing things. Vapula?
Vapula: Got it! I'm so glad my vapreparations aren't going to waste!
And so the Ars Goetia demons leave the bar for a bit.

Later
Three more Baels!
Bael: EXCUSE ME? Are these your golems, Vapula!?
Astaroth: Correct! You like corrupting people one on one, but there's still only one of you, right? So what if there was more of you? Look, we made them and they'll be just like you! Okay, serve me "Bael."
Bael Golem 1 starts acting like Bael.
Bael G1: Understood. I swear upon my soul to love you, cherie. Now kiss--
Vapula: NOOO why did he do that!?
Bael: ...and how was he like me? (pinches cheeks)
Astaroth: Ow! Please, what's wrong with a little originality?
Bael: So there's more than portrayal infringement to talk about! But seriously how'd you manage to make so many clones and clothes for them so fast?
Bael: (thinks) ...oh right. Amduscias was here yesterday.

The Bael golems blow off their suits down to swimsuits!
Bael: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? ...okay fine, maybe it'll help me be number one today. But first, quality check!
Bael goes up to a golem.
Bael G1: You make me want to kill myself for yo--(punched)
Bael G2: I wuv you so mu--(punched)
Bael G3: STEP ON ME MA CHERI--(punched)
Vapula: Noooo, my babies! Baeby Daddy what are you doing!?
Bael: SHUT UP. Who even programed these things!?
Vapula, Astaroth, and Amduscias look away and whistle.

Vapula: Maybe I shouldn't have vaprogrammed them with doujin lines.
Amduscias: I thought fans like that these days...
Bael: ...okay fine, I'm not very host-like, whatever. Vapula, fix their damned programming. It can even just be how I normally am.
Bael quickly fixes up the golems.
Bathym: So what do we even do?
Vapula: Eh, just watch them after I vaput them under your commands.
Bael: ...wait there's only three of them, though.
Vapula: Oh right I forgot to mention! I made 48, so I'll vaput 12 of them to each person! The vaplan was originally 72, but resource issues.
Bael: Were you trying to go to war or something?
Astaroth: Well in your case, that wouldn't have to be entirely wrong.

Later
Cat: Your drink towers!
Champagne pyramids get put up!
MC: omg / For me? Ooh~ / Eeee ♡
Fuxi: So, how's your wallet doing?
The World Reps are playing poker. Or maybe it's just metaphorical.
Michael: Pfft, running out of steam already?
Amaterasu: MC, let's drink my order together.
The temp staff parts ways as Bael struts up!
Bael: Excuse me. I've come to declare war, MC!
MC: WHAT / but why tho / bold move
Michael: Bael? You think you can win?
Bael: Indeed. Behold!
Bael golems walk up and pose!
MC: WHAT / did you go off the deep end? / Gimme one!
(A) Bael: Surprised? Winning's not so crazy a dream now, eh?
(B) Bael: Please don't ask. I can be formidable if I flout the rules of war!
(C) Bael: ...no, get one yourself.

Bael: Do it!
...
Astaroth: Bael 1, pour me a drink. Bael 2, feed me fruit please.
Bael: HELP ME OR GO HOME!
Astaroth: Sorry, I didn't think this could happen again so I just started doing in without thinking... Oh, but everything should be going to plan.
Elsewhere
So many Bael golems!
Y'golonac: OH MY GOD Bael are you a ninja or sum shit!?
Perun: Interesting! Give me one to use!
Bael G1: Bold of you when I WE are going to be number one today.

Suddenly!
Bathym: Hey you guys, sudden special event now! Wondering who I am? Details!
Sitri: Kind of important detail, yeah. Not every day some rando starts yelling at you.
Bathym: ...oh fine, let's just say I'm a friend of the devil host.
Bael golems go "Not really!"
Bathym: Well he's my rival as the number one top familiar of this one lord, but I do sympathize with him in admiring the number one. So anyways, we're doing a "Guess the Real Bael" game! Get tipping, get your wishes granted!
The customers start getting hyped over getting wishes granted by a demon!
Amduscias: Wow. It's okay people, there's still a lot of the BEL48!
Barong: Whoa, you're here again Amduscias?
Amduscias: Senpai! Sorry, I'm here for Bael today...
Barong: It's cool!
Amduscias thinks about how he admires Barong and how Barong is never jealous or negative. Amduscias starts getting negative...
Amduscias: Come at us, bro!
Barong seems a little surprised but smiles. Customers are asking for Bael!

Bael Golem: Now now, no need to rush.
Michael: I see. You seem a little different.
Fuxi: Heh. Pull whatever trick you want, it won't work on us World Reps.
Amaterasu: A bigger champagne tower please!
Y'golonac: (walks over) Okay hol' up a sec. Y'all can pay, right?
Fuxi: Of course! I--oh.
Fuxi has no money left on him. Neither does Michael and Amaterasu.
Y'golonac: Y'all never checked the price list, huh? We ain't doin' tabs today so...
Y'golonac kicks out the World Reps!
Fuxi: How DARE you discount my Golden Rule! I can win all the money for my SIIIISTER!
Amaterasu: Bad luck for us, I suppose. I can't believe Smoky God has the advantage here!
Michael: Fine, I'll just come back another day!
MC: Welp / Nooo, my sales!

Bael Golem: Heh, I'm going to win today!
Ose: Don't expect Smoky God to save you today, I just sent him back. And now I'm here, fashionably late.
MC: Oh god you're all against me! / Yay, Ose!
---
(C) Ose: Hey, I wanted to see you too. I didn't think I'd be able to make it in time after stopping Smoky God.
---
Bael Golem: Well done, especially since normal methods shouldn't work on him.
Ose: Yeah, I tried. It didn't. But somehow talking did, and he gave me a message for MC. It says "I'll see you again at the Night Pool."
Bael Golem: I win! Now, why don't you pick me, MC? My real self will legit grant you your wishes. It's me, I'm the real self.
MC: YES PLEASE! / You look like him, but Bael isn't this open.
(A) Ose: Whoa you're easy. A real devil's gonna catch you one day.
Bael Golem: Shut up, Ose!
(BC) Bael Golem: Ha, you know me so well!

Ose: Bael, go talk to someone else. I'll take care of MC...I mean, you can be my host, right MC?
Bael Golem: No, MC's mine. (snaps fingers)
Bael Golems surround MC!
MC: Oh no! / Omg yes!
The Bael Golems put MC in a nice chair and get ready to serve!
Bael G1: Can you actually figure which one is real? I'm curious about that. Also I lied about being the real Bael.
Bael G2: No wait, I'm real.
Bael G3: I got you fruit, MC. Say ahh?
MC: Ahh / wait hold up what???
Ose: Wait, you guys were supposed to handle other customers so--
Bael suddenly attacks! Ose Matrix-dodges and frowns!
Ose: Bael what the hell man
Vapula: NOOOO Baels 5, 8, and 13, you're supposed to stay vaput!

Vapula gets bitchslapped by Bael Golems!
Vapula: OW
Ose: Vapula what the hell is happening?
Vapula: I-I dunno! I just vaprogrammed them like Bael told me to!
The customers think this is some show. For now.
Bael G1: I made you a drink, Master MC.
Bael G2: I'll rub your feet and hold them tight, okay?
Ose: Okay this is getting problematic. You DID program them right, yeah?
Vapula: Tee hee, I vaprogrammed Bael 21 to be a little yandere. So that's how that worked.
Ose: You're on your own when Bael starts kicking your ass.
Astaroth: Wait, maybe you do need a little roguishness to serve customers.
MC: what? / help??? / this is fine!
---
(C) Ose: Maybe we should leave MC alone if they're fine?
Astaroth: But that would ruin the plan!
---
Astaroth: So maybe making the Bael Golems more open backfired...
Vapula: Maybe the AI chip we got from Turing and vaput in is part of the cause?
Ose: So you tried taking the tsun out of tsundere? Huh.
Astaroth: We have to fix this!
Vapula: B-but how? Vaput the golems out of order?
Astaroth: We'll have to try reprogramming them again! Ose, get the others!
BATTLE START

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 3 Part 1 (Abridged)

Flashback!
Bael: What do you mean you want me to look for Y'golonac?
Horus: Yes. We have him on watch for having a strong Mental Corruption ability and we've heard you've been going in and out of Kabukicho a lot lately.
Bael: Hmm, makes sense. I enjoy having a World Representative asking me for help, but no. Why not just go yourself, see your Uncle? Just scream UNNNNCLE your way the way everyone else does in their own way towards MC.
Horus: How DARE
Otter: (Wow, spot on. But I can't say that out loud.)
Ah yes, how very demure, very mindful, very dignified.
Horus: Aren't YOU concerned about the dangerous thugs near Uncle!?
Bael: Nobody asked. Also MC's been picked up by Y'golonac this time? Apparently they're very close unlike--oops, slip of the tongue~!
Horus: LIES! Okay fine, we're going in for a house arrest Otter!
Otter: But we have no evidence!
Bael's phone rings.
Bael: Oh, Y'golonac? Okay, I can be there. One moment.
Horus: (dramatic closeup!) I! HEARD! THAT!
Bael: O-okay okay fine, I'll help you if I feel like it. No promises.

Present
Bael: How did I get into a customer service position again? I'll never live it down if an old acquaintance sees me like this, so I have to destroy this whole plot before then!
Perun: Bael are you being mad over yesterday's popularity results?
Bael: ...sort of, yes.
Perun: Ha, not to worry! I have an ingenious plan!
Team Y'golonac huddles!
Perun: Okay now time for the dramatic cut away...
Later
The Setagaya people are here!
Setagaya Peeps: Hello!
Perun: Welcome to my host club!
MC: No Perun it's not yours / This is your big idea? / Great idea, hi guys!

Perun: Haha, the friend business at work!
Y'golonac: Pretty sure that ain't what it means.
Kijimuna: Wow nice outfit you have on MC! Too bad you can't see it!
Robinson: Yeah, you're good in anything at any time! And you better treat me like a big boy, okay?
Asterios: Um, I...want MC too. I dunno anyone else so...
Bael: Wow, didn't expect to see you here, Asterios.
Asterios: AHH!
Bael: Yessss, I enjoy being feared as a monster.
Asterios: Uh, s-sorry? I'm more of a monster though... (cowers)
Bael: Aw, now I look like I'm bullying you. Look, being alone also means being top class! It's not that people don't accept you, it's that they're not on your level. Come with me and I'll show you how to be fabulous.
MC: Wow he can actually be nice? / I'm worried for Asterios now / Con artist alert

Sarutahiko: Their big genius plan's a lot less big and genius than I thought it'd be.
Perun: Haha, you are just too plebian to grasp it!
Sarutahiko: Meh. But anyways, you're still not done with it then?
Perun: Yes! Behold, simpleton! (claps)
Lots of fruit gets brought out.
Gullinbursti: Hello, your order!
Volos: I brought the best tropical fruits from school.
Yamasachi: Gullinbursti and I got the best mountain veggies for soup too!
Barong: Wow you guys have this in Tokyo too?
Perun: Serve me and you might have some.
Barong: Hmm...
Tsukuyomi: You can't actually be thinking about it are you?
Perun seems happy. But then something seems missing.
Perun: Wait where are the flowers I asked Hippolytas for?
Volkh: Here Sir. He had to leave early...
Perun: This is the best I could expect of him I suppose. Good enough! Make juice and bouquets for my team! HAHAHA, enjoy the literal fruits of Setagaya's farm labor!
Sarutahiko: Oh my god how are we supposed to deal with that!?
Perun: Watch me flex my Imperial Privilege!
MC: Wow we are so the baddies / Awesome plan! / oooh nice

Perun: Use everything shamelessly!
Tetsugyuu: Okay Sarutahiko, let's show our Umamichi power!
Sarutahiko: (imagines the bar blowing up) ...let's not?
Perun: Team, go call everyone you know too!
Y'golonac: But I dun really know anyone...
Shino and Bael: Hmm...
Shino and Bael have ideas for people.
Fantasy Astaroth: So Bael, if we aren't interacting under Ars Goetia hierarchy but host and customer, can you serve me?
Fantasy Tadatomo: I can order Father around without repercussions!? Hehehe...
Shino and Bael: NO
MC: I don't think they'll do that. Probably. / I wanna watch!
Perun: Pfft. Useless. Whatever, get to your stations, it's almost time to open!
Everyone gets ready.
Y'golonac: My manager position is gettin' taken over!

Later
Perun: ...why are you the first one in today, Volkh? You dare ask me to serve you?
Volkh: N-no! (But I wanted to!)
Perun: Whatever. You may have the honor of helping me change my clothes.
Volkh: Thank you Sir!
Volkh: (wait how is this any different from normal? Oh well, servant's joy and all. I'll start with--)
Perun: Why are YOU here!?
Smoky God and Fuxi are here!
Fuxi: SIIIISTER! You look lovely in anything, even as you seem to be wearing the same thing as ever! But I'm worried you'll get stalkers.... why are you pointing at me?
Smoky God: I heard this place was fabulous, and I suppose that's true if I get the chance to sit next to you. You could've made this place a giant building with a penthouse suite for just us if you had asked me for help.
MC: welp / Dammit I said stay away Big Bro! / I'm not sure I can handle entertaining a socialite
---
(B) Fuxi: And you expected me to comply???
(C) Smoky God: Of course you can. You're the only one worth my time, and this time with you is priceless.
---
Perun: Why are you here and where did Kijimuna and Robinson go?
Fuxi points to the side. Kijimuna and Robinson are having luxury drinks and ice cream!
Kijimuna: Wow, coconut milk ice cream!
Robinson: This drink is awesome!
Fuxi: They sold us their spots. Children are so easy to buy off.
Smoky God: Look out though. Us Invaders rich people weren't the only ones to hear about this place.

Later
Tsukuyomi: Thank you, come again baby.
Tsukuyomi sure is popular. Time for him to cycle customers!
Amaterasu: Hello, I heard my younger brothers are here. Should I take my shoes off here? ...oh, Tsukuyomi. I came to see how you two were doing.
Tsukuyomi: !
Tsukuyomi: Well now, Ama...Sister. Welcome.
It's Amaterasu, who doesn't like being in the spotlight! Tsukuyomi keeps his poker face on.
Amaterasu: So how are you both doing?
Tsukuyomi: MC and I are doing okay.
Amaterasu: Really? You, maybe, but maybe MC can't handle customer service yet.
Amaterasu: (steps closer) Also I know you work nights, but I wish you'd come see me sometimes.
Amaterasu: (steps closer) Look, you have a button loose. Also, introduce me to your work friends.
Tsukuyomi still has his poker face on, but Amaterasu is taking control of the moment!

Barong: Ooh, who she? Maybe I'll take her on.
Sarutahiko: No you dumb bitch, that's Lady Amaterasu! She's the top of Takamagahara and Tsukuyomi's big sister! Oof I hope this doesn't blow up...
Tetsugyuu: Damn, look at you tempting fate.
Sarutahiko: SHUT UP
Sarutahiko's Insight is activated!
Amaterasu: Where is MC anyways? I don't see them, Tsukuyomi.
Tsukuyomi: Different team, so on the other side of the club.
Amaterasu: You let them out of your sight! Hold on, Big Sister is coming!
Tsukuyomi: (grabs Amaterasu's arm) N-now hold on, MC has other friends looking after them, okay?

Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu basically ghosted each other after Susanoo left. They basically live on different planets, and Amaterasu has to keep up the big sister thing in public because of her hierarchy position.
Tsukuyomi: They're popular in-store, the customers like them. It's okay.
Amaterasu: But what if they blow up and bother the neighbors!?
Tsukuyomi: Then we'll handle it, not like you di--um. Never mind that last bit.
Amaterasu picks up on where Tsukuyomi was going with that.
Amaterasu: ...oh, right. It's a bother for me to show up at your work. Sorry.
Amaterasu politely bows to everyone around and leaves. Tsukuyomi seems indignant.
Tsukuyomi: ...ugh, why am I never happy when it comes to family stuff?
Barong: Wow you actually fumbled something?
Sarutahiko: Um, we can handle the club alone for a bit if you want...
Tsukuyomi: (frowns)

Later
Amaterasu is running down the beach! But she doesn't get very far because she's a shut-in.
Amaterasu: (trips) Ow... I can handle work, but family things never work out right...
Amaterasu cries.
Amaterasu: What do I do...?
MC: Amaterasu! / Sister! / (run towards her)
Tsukuyomi: Whew, good thing you didn't get too far.
Amaterasu: Tsukuyomi? MC?
Tsukuyomi: We'd be terrible hosts if we let anyone go home upset. Sorry, we knew how busy you were with running the house.
Amaterasu: No, that's fine. You all know how I ended up kicking Susanoo out. (looks away from MC)
MC: (Welp... not really MY business, but I'll just play along)
Tsukuyomi: Would you come to the beach host club again? We'll make you happy this time. You can see how MC is doing. Okay MC?
MC: Sure, I'll take you.
Amaterasu: Sorry, and thank you. I guess I'll take you two up on that?
Tsukuyomi: Sure. Welcome again to our resort getaway. And thanks for coming along, MC.
MC: It's cool. But is this gonna work out...?

Later
Smoky God: Where's MC? We're settling for Perun in the meantime but still.
Fuxi: At least we get to boss--oh excuse me. Can we get some service?
Perun: Bold of you to assume I act like a normal host.
Bael: *(sighs)* My head hurts now. But this was inevitable with MC here...
Y'golonac: Aww, what's up Bae-by? Oh wait ya sad ya ain't got no friends? It's cool, I'mma loser with no friends too!
Bael: Excuse you, I DO have friends! I just won't be calling them over because I can't lose face for being in a customer service role! (Also I need to prove your power is a menace to society somehow!)
Y'golonac doesn't seem to suspect anything. Bael is internally side-eying him.
Y'golonac: But ya look so hot in that! Yer friends would think so too!
Bael: Like I care. Besides, you got spot number two in Kabukicho. Shouldn't you be able to get to number one if you tried harder?
Y'golonac: But Tsukuyomi won't let me. He said not to lean on my power regulars.
Bael snorts internally. It doesn't seem like Y'golonac is using his special power...also hey there are the cops outside.
Y'golonac: Dunno how much help I'll even be here. We got an extra member, but dunno if that's actually helping, so you gotta go hard too.
Bael: ExcusemeI'mgoingonbreak. (leaves)
Y'golonac: Bro oh my god what? At least pretend to care!

Beach
Horus: Is this where UNNNNCLE is working as a host? I should spend lots of money for him!
Masashi: Wait, is that Father there too? Was I not good enough!? I can do anything if Mother asked me to!
Nobumichi: You guys we are here for work...also where's Otter?
Otter is totally in summer mode.
Red: Hey baby, wanna swim with me?
Otter: Sure!
Nobumichi drags Otter away from a Pickup Artist!
Otter: But why though!? ...ooh, I get it. I'm popular but I love YOU guys!
Nobumichi: Nah, I'm more worried that anyone going after you gets beat to a pulp.
Horus: Otter, we are here for work!
Otter: But we're not even doing anything until Bael calls us! Pwease?
Horus: ...hmm, the chibi makes sense. There's time to see Uncle then.
Nobumichi: (disapproves in cop)

Here comes some other pickup artist!
Yellow: Hey guys, wanna join my group of three for some fun?
Horus: B-but I have Uncle!
Otter: Okay! Wha--(gagged)
Nobumichi: Sorry we're busy!
Yellow walks off in disappointment...
Masashi: Why was I left out? Because I'm still a child!?
Bael: Why are you here? Is my infiltration being canned?
Masashi: No, we're just getting into closer position if you do find something! Also we need to watch you and make sure you don't bail out on us.
Bael: I'd have bailed already if I could.
Masashi: He says, wearing a suit swimsuit.
Bael: I'LL SUE, YOU DAMN BRAT
Masashi: I'm a child and legally can't be held responsible for anything, tee hee~

Simurgh: (walks over) Bael, what's going on with the yelling and shouting?
Simurgh is probably here to check on his subordinates being hired out for the beach host club.
Otter: But Nobumichi, I needs a break~! ...oh my god Bael and Don Simurgh!
Otter was with Simurgh for a bit after his summoning.
Simurgh: Hello again, Otter. Been a while. You seem to be doing fine but...
Horus: Hello I am Horus. I hear you've looked after Otter before.
Simurgh: Eh, I just taught him some stuff. Good to see he's helping.
Quiet tension.
Bael: Do they know each other outside of work?
Nobumichi: Umm...everyone trying too hard to be nice could be a problem too? Maybe?
Simurgh: Heh. Otter, nice sunglasses. Good to see you're taking care of your fur still.
Horus: Otter, nice necklace showing you're my aide.
Otter: Aww, thanks.
Otter ignores the tension.

Simurgh: Wanna decide who Otter likes the most?
Horus: Bold of you to act like you know the answer already. Right, Otter?
Otter: !?
Simurgh: Chicken. Otter you can come back to the family whenever.
Horus: You're on, loser!
Otter: Oh noes you guys stop pweaase~?
Horus and Simurgh: Stop that.
Otter: okay
Battle of the birds!
Bael: ...whatever doesn't bother me with my work, I suppose. You stay out too until I get evidence, Lord Shinbei.
Masashi: Okay. Nobumichi, let's go swimming!
Nobumichi: Sure. Maybe you'll be able to swim on your own today. Okay later, Bael.
Bael: (watches everyone leave) Back to work. Work they could be doing themselves if they're bothering to come here. Ugh, hells.
???: Bael?
Familiar voice! Bael smiles in pain hoping it's not who he thinks it is!
Astaroth: Hi, are you on break? I came over on my own since you never called.
End of Episode part

Live A Hero Summer Survival Island Episode 2 (Abridged)

So MC, Sadayoshi, and the Laborer's Site guys are going to go on a boat tour! Pretty ocean.
Lilac: It's nice here. Smells good too.
Isaribi: It does? I live here, I dunno anymore.
Pubraseer: Well the land and sea are close together on Muirauqa IV. Also, where's the Colonel?
Gorou: Changing into something water friendly.
Isaribi: Hey wait, ain't that him? (points)
Sadayoshi: Hello everyone, thank you for waiting.
MC: omg??? / Cute floatie! / Your swimsuit looks great!
(A) Sadayoshi: What is it MC? Is something on my face?
(B) Sadayoshi: Thank you, I heard it's a must-have so I brought it along.
(C) Sadayoshi: Thank you, it's very practical. The advertising said it was good for pools and beaches.
Pubraseer: But so is most other swimsuits...?
Isaribi: W-well, as long as he likes it?

Sadayoshi: I did some research that told me I should bring sandals, a floating ring, and a straw hat. Is everything in order?
Gorou: Yep, you sure look ready to party.
Isaribi: Yup!
Pubraseer: Hell yeah that sorta--I mean, yes it has a nice, casual vibe.
Sadayoshi: Okay, things are starting off well then.
Lilac: Yes, it looks good. Maybe I should change t--MC, who is that waving behind you?
???: Isaribi, MC!
It's Kirsch!
MC: Wow Kirsche! Funny coincidence.

Kirsch: Hey MC, long time no see. How are you guys? Thought I recognized you so I came over! On a trip?
Isaribi: Hey Kirsch! Why didn't ya say somethin' if you were comin' over?
Gorou: Wow, you know a cute girl like her, Isaribi?
Isaribi: Oh yeah, she's Kirsch from Gourmet Fighters! We were on the same space TV show once. And these guys are heroes in the same agency as me.
Isaribi goes on to introduce the Laborer's Site heroes one by one.
MC: And this is Col. Ikusabata. He's a friend coming with me.
Kirsche: I'm Kirsch, nice to meet you! Also wow all you Laborer's Site guys are huge.
Gorou: Comes with the job! But most heroes are like this.
Lilac: Are you here on a trip too, Kirsch?
Kirsch: Nah, work actually. Which I just finished! My hotel is organizing some food stalls and a hero show, so I'm scooping it out and going to a meeting.
Isaribi: Nice!
Kirsch: Thanks! Figured I'd go sightseeing too when I saw you.
Isaribi: We're goin' on a boat tour! Wanna join? Whaddya think, MC?
MC: Sure!

Kirsch: Really? Yay! ...oh wait I came with someone. He should still be around. Is it okay if--(turns around)
Hotel Worker: Sir, noooo! Don't eat that!
Yuhang: It'll be okay! Look, pretty rainbow shell! Bright colors in nature means it must be perfectly safe and edible! And now to taste it raw!
The hotel worker is highly concerned. Yuhang looks happy.
Pubraseer: Oof. Rainbow...fish...flashbacks...
Lilac: W-wow. The things you see on Muirauqa IV.
Gorou: ...Isaribi, can people actually eat that thing?
Isaribi: Huh? Oh yeah that thing. That--
Kirsch: Yuhang oh my god!?
Yuhang: Oh hey Kirsch! Look, new food thing found! (waves shell)

Pubraseer: Is he the hero you came with, Kirsch?
Kirsch: Y-yeah. He's Yuhang, a wandering cook from Planet Yuhang where everything is done on Yuhang time. Scheduling isn't really a thing in his head, but he's a good cook! Like so good you might ask what the hell.
Yuhang: Aww, thanks! Your cakes are great, Kirsch!
Kirsch: Tee hee, I practice my anything goes martial arts baking for my Rumiko Takahashi cameo gig!
Yuhang is examining the shellfish.
MC: Hi I'm MC. / hot
(C) Yuhang: Ooh you like me? Wanna join me on a taste test of things I make? It's all edible, promise!

Yuhang: Oh right, I should introduce myself. I'm Yuhang, a hero with Gourmet Fighters. Nice to meet you! (eats the shellfish)
Isaribi: Wait don't eat that thing raw or--
Yuhang: Hmm... the taste... isn't... bad...? (flops over)
MC: OH MY GOD
Isaribi: Yeah it's poisonous. Not fatally, but cooking makes it safe.
Pubraseer: What's the poison do?
Yuhang: ...zzz.
MC: I-is he sleeping?
Isaribi: Oh, he rolled Sleep out of the seven effects it could have.
MC: All the symptoms of the rainbow! / give details / WHAT

Lilac: Um, shouldn't we be helping Yuhang?
Kirsche: Yuhang does this like all the time. Either the hospital or someone from MAHA comes to tell us about it.
Pubraseer: O-oh. What if he hit his head? MC, give me a hand.
Pubraseer picks up Yuhang and carries him over to MC and Sadayoshi.
Sadayoshi: ...he seems fine, but I'm not a medical specialist.
Isaribi: ...guess we gotta find a doctor! I got this! (picks up Yuhang) I'll take him over! From what I know, Yuhang lucked out tho.
Sadayoshi: I'll come too.
MC: Me too, I'm worried about him.
Isaribi: Thanks guys! The rest of y'all, go on ahead to the dock.
Gorou: Yeah, guess we shouldn't all crowd the doctor's. Good luck, Isaribi.
Isaribi: Yep! I got the Col. and MC with me!
Kirsche: Sorry guys. I'll call my agency just in case.
Sadayoshi: Good idea. I'll tell Yuhang to call you when he wakes up.
And so the group splits off.

Later
Yuhang: ...huh? I was dreaming I ate the best shellfish.
Sadayoshi: That wasn't a dream. MC, Isaribi, Yuhang's awake.
MC: You okay? Kinda shocking you just keeled over.
Isaribi: Ya look better! Doc said ya seem mostly fine. How ya feeling?
Yuhang: Oh you were with Kirsche...so that wasn't a dream.
Sadayoshi: Yes. I'm Ikusabata Sadayoshi, with Japan's Self-Defense Bureau.
Isaribi: I'm Isaribi, Kirsch's friend!
Yuhang: Oh yeah huh. And you're MC right? Sorry about all this. I'm Yuhang.
MC: Well I'm glad you're okay. Nice to meet you again!

Yuhang gets up.
Yuhang: Still kinda sleepy, but I'm okay. Where's everyone else?
Isaribi: They went ahead to the beach.
Yuhang: Huh. Why's that?
Sadayoshi: We've been talking about going on a boat tour. Kirsch agreed to join. How about you?
Isaribi: Uh, maybe dude should sit out after what happened.
Yuhang: I'm good to go!
MC: Well that was fast.
Yuhang: I'm A-OK! Boat tour means food tour! Maybe I'll find more goodies.
Yuhang picks up his bag! The tools inside clink.
Sadayoshi: I suppose? We should call Kirsch.
Isaribi: If Yuhang's good, I'm good! But tell us if you ain't.
Yuhang: Thanks! This is gonna be good!
Isaribi: Let's go then! The boat's gonna leave soon!
MC: Oh yeah, it is. Let's go!

Elsewhere
Zaniah: Ohohohoho! Muirauqa IV is just as good as I've heard! And the treasure in the sea! I'm so excited! The docking fees are atrocious, but the treasure should be able to pay it ten times over!
Zaniah is walking down the beach. Two people are following her from the shadows before sneaking into her ship.
Isaribi: Okay it should be around here... did y'all see sumthin?
MC: I think? / No?
The party is looking for the tour boat at the beach.
Sadayoshi: I sense someone in that ship.
Isaribi: Oh cool, I thought I saw Kirsch and Gorou!
MC: That doesn't seem right.

Yuhang: Gorou's that carpenter you told me about, right? Well those and patissiers gotta have nimble fingers!
Sadayoshi: ...I suppose that makes sense.
MC: Wait, Colonel hold on / Goddammit I have to do all the snarking around here!?
Isaribi: Eh, we'll find out if we get on!
Sadayoshi: Right, it's almost time to depart.
MC: Yeah! / ...is that really the right boat?
The party starts to board the ship.
Zaniah: NOOOO THAT'S MY SHIP!
Damn, she's kicking up sand running over.
MC: WHOMST

Sadayoshi: MC, do you know her too?
Yuhang: Eh, doesn't seem so? Do you know her, Sadayoshi?
Sadayoshi: ...no. But she's clearly headed this way.
Isaribi: Did girl say this was her tour ship? ...wait why she mad!?
Zaniah is speeding up!
Isaribi: What!? Quick, get on!
Sadayoshi: R-right, we should--
Zaniah: My SHIIIIP! How dare you try to steal from a phantom thief like me! Anonymous, transform me!
Zaniah suits up!
MC: What!?
Sadayoshi: Did she say phantom thief? So she's a villain? And she's using the illegal network Anonymous. MC, please transform us.
Isaribi: Wait, she a villain!? Well now it's an emergency then! I'm in too! (sends contract data)
Yuhang: Oh wait we're fighting? I'm up too, then. (sends contract data)
MC: Got it! Execute!
(click)
MC: ooh, a cook outfit!
Yuhang: Cool huh?
Zaniah: Fight me!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Zaniah: MY SHIIIIP (snaps whip around)
Sadayoshi: Is she trying to steal the tour boat?
Yuhang: Oh man! She isn't giving up!
Zaniah: Do you have ANY idea how much I paid for docking!?
MC: Fall back and regroup!
Sadayoshi: MC! I agree, but there isn't much space to fall back on!
Zaniah is pushing the party back towards the pier!
Isaribi: UGH! I'll be fine in the water but still!
Sadayoshi: In that case we should get on and call for other heroes.
Isaribi: Oh right, Gorou and the others are on! I'll go--WHOA
Zaniah: OFF! I was okay with letting you go if you backed off, but no more Miss Nice Thief! Grand Theft "Treasure of Kalanchoe"!

Zaniah starts grabbing things with her whip and throwing them at the party!
Yuhang: Oh no! I'm gonna cut those things down!
Isaribi: MC, get down!
MC: Oh god!
The party ducks! One of the things Zaniah throws bumps the engine and kickstarts it!
Isaribi: WHAT
Zaniah: Aaah! What did you guys do!?
Isaribi: Girl we ain't done anythin'!
Sadayoshi: This is your fault for throwing things!
Zaniah: Ugh, out of the way! What did you touch!?
Zaniah tries to fix the engine! Zaniah pulls a Big Red Lever!
Zaniah: NOOOO MY SHIP!
Zaniah cracked the limiters and now the engine speeds up as it falls apart!
Yuhang: AIYAAAAH SO FAST
Sadayoshi: I-it's dragging us along! MC!
MC: OH NO
Sadayoshi grabs a pole on deck and grabs MC!
Party: AAAAAA
And so the cruiser zooms off into the distance.

Elsewhere
Some Island on Muirauqa IV
Giansar: (stares at some screen) Damn, that news bit still blowing up? I mean it's kinda big and figured this would happen but still. And no one will find any evidence it was me! ...but I still gotta lay low here for who knows how long. Hacking sucks like that.
The hideout seems unused in a while. Giansar sighs as he looks at the news.
Giansar: ...fiiiine, data analysis it is then.
Giansar hacks into a data center and displays the data onto his screen.
Giansar: ...the Neo-Axis. Nice how that world puts heroes's strengths into data. My skills and Parallel Weapon are known, and it helps with data collection. Still...
Giansar seems mad as he grinds his teeth.
Giansar: ...why's Zap the Justice held up as an S-Rank Hero? What's he got that I don't?
Beep beep, system alert
Giansar: Wait, something's approaching!? No one's supposed to know about this place! Did someone break through my jamming or--ugh, I'll think through this shit after I get out.
Giansar cuts the data center connection and puts in a log erasure command in! But then something blows up and starts knocking computers offline!
Giansar: wait what the hell just happened
Title Card: Don't Stop Your Rushing Heart
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 2 Part 1 (Abridged)

Rewind! To some time in Old Ones!
???: ...where am I? Uh, I was in some brick wall...
Y'golonac (narrating): Okay so like no one called me in a while, so I just sat on my ass. I don't remember much else though.
The Foreigner looked around, no longer behind the brick wall he was sealed behind.
Later
Y'golonac walks out of Chuo Park and sees himself reflected in some window.
Y'golonac: Oh is that what I look like now? Hmm, maybe I'mma start usin' an accent.
Y'golonac is used to doing this whenever he possesses someone.
Y'golonac: Okay cool. Also, WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THE LIGHT? Where am I???
It's Kabukicho. People are heading to Kabukicho Night School.

Y'golonac: Oh my god did I actually get out!?
Y'golonac clears his throat and tries again.
Y'golonac: Holy shit y'all, I busted loose!
Random Kabukicho students pass by.
Guy A: Dude did you SEE Kressy's face when he got that letter?
Girl B: Yeah I was wheezing! Also wow you actually gave it to him.
Guy A: It's all good. I'll just have to be hotter than ever so he'll regret his life choices.
Y'golonac sees them and is sure he's outside now.
Y'golonac: Y'all this is awesome!
Girl B: Who that? Maybe he's a creep...
Y'golonac tries to bite the guy's shoulders by grabbing it.
Y'golonac: wait why isn't this workin'?
Guy A: Wow old dude, nice tattoos on your hands.
Girl B: Hey bro we got class to go to, go see reception if you gotta talk to someone at school.
Y'golonac: O-oh thanks!
Y'golonac hides behind some school building corner.
Y'golonac: Why can't I use my power? ...also what's this flat thing in my pocket? (touches)

Later
Girl B: Huh. Hey old dude you get lost aro--
Y'golonac handbites Girl B's shoulder!
Y'golonac: Ohhh, so that's how it works.
Guy A: BRO WHAT? Hey Girl you cool???
Girl B: Mm, yeah...
Bite marks spread over Girl B like some death curse!
Girl B: hey bro. You, me, empty classroom. How about it?
Guy A: GIRL WHAT? Hey Old Bro what'd you do to--
Girl B grabs Guy A's arms REALLY HARD!
Girl B for some reason: HELP
Girl B drags Guy A away while Y'golonac thinks about what just happened!
Y'golonac: ...cool, I'm Old Bro now, the Foreigner Y'golonac from Old Ones! Niiiice gwehehe. I'mma corrupt everyone! ...tho it's still hard controllin' anyone with evil thoughts. Base lust is easy but I can find that anywhere!

Later
Guy C: Big Daddy I'm your number one minion, right?
Girl D: No bitch, it's me!
Y'golonac: Now now, no fightin' y'all.
Guy C: What if I bring more minions? Will I get promoted to top priest or whatever?
Girl D: No way, I'll bring more!
Y'golonac: Haha, guess I have to give somethin' special to whoever works hard!
Y'golonac's been learning the language of Tokyo. And now his charmed flunkies are spreading the casualties around while Y'golonac uses his spit to activate his power!
Y'golonac: Haha, suck it baby! Stars not linin' up yet? Pffft, I'mma take over the land like this!
BOOM
Y'golonac: WHAT? Oh my god babies stop fightin'!

It's Ellie and Suzuka!
Y'golonac: Ooh, new babies?
Suzuka: No! Stop causing shit or I'll cut off your head!
Y'golonac: But I like this new head... But y'all got spunk! I like that in a babe!
Y'golonac's charmed crowd of mobs attack!
Y'golonac: Haha--WAIT WHAT
Ellie solos all the mobs without breaking a sweat!
Suzuka: Ellie go easy on them.
Ellie: But I can't. Also punching them out is still better than you cutting them down.
Y'golonac: WHAT, HOW? I ain't ever heard of surfacers this strong!
Ellie and Suzuka look at each other.
Ellie: I'm the Queen here.
Suzuka: And I'm the strongest, totally-a-normal high school girl. Sucks to be you.
Y'golonac: Wait please sweet mercy I surrender!

This all became known in Shinjuku Kabukicho as the Second Vampire Incident because people thought the charmed mobs were vampire bitten. The first incident was with Ellie. Ellie welcomed Y'golonac to the Outlaws and used all her connections to get him to learn Kabukicho's rules. She taught him the most, but rumors sprung up that she was the cause of things. It seemed kind of deliberate. When asked why she did so...
Ellie: Meh, it happens. Whatever, I just felt like doing guildmaster things sometimes.
She got bashed about it around that time she became a big name model, but some popular host suggested she might've done it to cover for someone else. Not to her face, of course.
Ellie: So Y'golonac? You don't owe or whatever. Pay it forward if you have to.

Some people know what happened though.
Masashi and Horus: A vampire didn't do it.
Otter: But the report said so???
Masashi and Horus are visiting Kabukicho and immediately pick up on stuff.
Horus: I sense rulebreakers...
Nobumichi: But Horus, the police bosses say leave Ellie alone!
Masashi: What if it's a cover? Oh wait, second order theorycrafting.
Random knowledge theorycrafting time!
Masashi: What if someone just rolled really high on Persuasion instead of using charm powers? Then they could make a cult... ooh, ooh, I'm gonna solve this case all by myself! And I won't even use magic powers for it!
Otter: Okay, what do? Do I sneak in?
Horus: No, let's investigate who's been going in and out of Kabukicho!

Present
Odaiba Seaside Park. Tons of people here because the Tycoons-Outlaws host club is officially open!
MC: OH GOD THE CROWDS / I think I'm passing out / yeah, we needed as much
Sarutahiko: AAAAAA
Long lines out there.
Perun: Don't worry, they are mostly here for me!
Sarutahiko: Where do you even get that confidence like geez. P sure they're here for the Night King.
Tsukuyomi: schleeepy...
Sarutahiko: WAKE UP IT'S ALMOST SHOW TIME
Barong: Speaking of shows, this is a different kind of excitement. Right Bael?
Bael: I'm not here to make friends, I am here to be the very best, like no one ever was!
Tetsugyuu: Hey Boss, I'mma be the Day 1 number one!
Shino: I can do this...
Y'golonac: Have some confidence, Shino! Ya got charm!
Shino: No I don't! ...but thank you.
So many moods.
Ophion: Steel yourselves, it's time to fight it out for number one!
Simurgh: Everything's good on this end.
Cooks and waiters, ready!
Y'golonac: Let's do it, babies!

Announcement time!
Gabriel and Nyarlahotep: Radio show time!
Gabriel: Hi everybody, we're looking at the TSL C-Side resort today!
Nyarlathotep: Yoooo, ready to burn this into yo brains?
Gabriel: You are, right? We got a temp seasonal open studio radio in Odaiba! The event planners are having us here live!
Nyarlathotep: Ready to peek in the box? Let's get crazy, yeah!
Gabriel: Wow so many people came to see us! Thanks guys! I mean I'm in a glass box and can't hear but still!
Nyarlathotep: And now a word from our produce--wait what
Paper tearing sounds!
Gabriel: Nyarly, we're supposed to start with the warnings!
Nyarlathotep: Meh, it'll be cool.
Gabriel: But we're getting way off track. Oh well, countdown time!
Nyarlathotep: Whoo, here we go! 10, 9, 8--
Event Cast: 7, [...] 4...
MC: 3! 2! 1!
Gabriel and Nyarlathotep: The resort's opennn!

Y'golonac: HELL YEAAAAH Y'ALLLL
People start screaming over the cast in their suit swimsuits!
Tsukuyomi: Hey stars, like what you see today?
Shino: Line up if you want to be ravaged by me!
Tetsugyuu: I'm waiting on ya to call for me!
Y'golonac: Tee hee welcome to Odaiba's wildest place, y'all! Watch out ya don't lose yerself in our charms, mkay?
Everyone's getting attention! Bael takes the lead for Team Y'golonac!
Bael: Hello cherie, feeling a little...repressed? It's okay, you can have anything you want because I can get you anything. So, what do you want?
Bug A: U-um, the biggest juice tower I can buy with this chip!
Bael: Why how nice. Is your desire to make me happy?
MC: Oh my god so good! / huh maybe this is his life's calling / pffft look at him strutting like he's got this
(A) Bael: Of course, who do you think I am? Order up, one drink tower!
(B) Bael: I will claim aggravated assault with a bottle if I have to... but I suppose the thought makes sense. I am just that amazing. Now, one drink tower please!
(C) Bael: Bael: Of course I do. I am elite, therefore I can do anything well. One drink tower, boys!

Y'golonac: HELL YEAAAAH Y'ALLLL
People start screaming over the cast in their suit swimsuits!
Tsukuyomi: Hey stars, like what you see today?
Shino: Line up if you want to be ravaged by me!
Tetsugyuu: I'm waiting on ya to call for me!
Y'golonac: Tee hee welcome to Odaiba's wildest place, y'all! Watch out ya don't lose yerself in our charms, mkay?
Everyone's getting attention! Bael takes the lead for Team Y'golonac!
Bael: Hello cherie, feeling a little...repressed? It's okay, you can have anything you want because I can get you anything. So, what do you want?
Bug A: U-um, the biggest juice tower I can buy with this chip!
Bael: Why how nice. Is your desire to make me happy?
MC: Oh my god so good! / huh maybe this is his life's calling / pffft look at him strutting like he's got this
(A) Bael: Of course, who do you think I am? Order up, one drink tower!
(B) Bael: I will claim aggravated assault with a bottle if I have to... but I suppose the thought makes sense. I am just that amazing. Now, one drink tower please!
(C) Bael: Bael: Of course I do. I am elite, therefore I can do anything well. One drink tower, boys!

Cheers are coming from up front!
Giant A: OMG the Entertainers are here!
Boogeyman: Yeeeahhh we're standing out a little too much I think.
Oscar: It's fine! They can't be that good if we outshine them after all.
Amduscias: Hi Barong we came to visit! ...what the hell are you wearing!?
Cipactli: I WANT MC
MC: The Entertainers!? Why!? / Aww thanks princess
(C) Cipactli: Oooh~
Amduscias: Wow this is nice! I should learn to do this for idol work!

Gorozaemon: Haha, we're here with the TSL C-Side thing too. Oh, but Boogeyman and I are doing something else with some other Entertainers.
Christine: We came to see Barong on our break. You guys got to him before I did.
Barong: Wait are you mad? Sorry, this is the summer stage for me this time!
Christine: Hehe, thank you for playing along. We can't stop whatever show you want to do.
Cipactli: Whatever, let's get a table so I can get MC already.
Oscar: Now now, what if I want MC?
Oscar has grabbed MC's hand while Cipactli has his tail around MC.
MC: yessss / let go dammit / (look to Boogeyman for help)
(C) The other Entertainers smile and do nothing.

Gorozaemon: Yooo Sarutahiko! Drink with me and show me your magic.
Boogeyman: Sarutahiko, Zhurong tells me about you sometimes. Maybe we'll come visit you at the bathhouse sometime.
Sarutahiko: Sure, whenever you want!
Sarutahiko seems competitive.
Boogeyman: (Why is he looking at me like that? Did Zhurong tell him about my freak?)
Barong: Okay, I'll be taking everyone else then. This way!
And so the Entertainers go sit with their chosen hosts.
Boogeyman: Ahh, this must be paradise.
Gorozaemon: I know right?
Sarutahiko: HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM A BATHHOUSE AGAIN!?
Sarutahiko is massaging Boogeyman and Gorozaemon.
Oscar: Hey look MC, my fruit plate order. Open up~!
Cipactli: Back off, MC's mine!
MC: Nooo fighting! / how did we get here / Let's do it together!
(C) Oscar and Cipactli start fighting!

Barong: You guys are so nice to come see me when you're all so busy. You cute kitties you!
Amduscias: Haha, look at me Senpai! I'm not a kitty when I'm this big.
Christine: We are all but specks of dust to our audience in the balcony seats.
Barong: I don't think that's what he meant, but it's nice how cool headed you are, Christine!
Barong kisses Christine's hand. Christine just smiles. Amduscias screams.
Christine: I'm enjoying things in my own manner. It's a new feeling being treated like this while not in character of some kind. But one question: how long are you going to keep cutting corners?
More noise at other tables!
Oscar: Yeah, why come all this way to do the same old thing?
Amduscias: Yeah, I wanna see your show! I even brought pen lights!
Barong: Welp, guess I have to now!

Later
Y'golonac: I know what ya like, baybee~!
Suddenly music!
Y'golonac: Wait what!?
Other part of club
Christine: Welcome to Fabulous Summer Host. Did you want fawning attention? And for some of you in that category...did you wonder if you were worth it?
Y'golonac: HOL' UP IS THIS A GODDAMN TAKEOVER???
Christine: Oops we overdid the helping the guild dancer. Okay, please take care of Barong, Night King.
Tsukuyomi: Whoa, heavy expectations. I'll do my best.
Tsukuyomi takes a mic. How long has it been since he did hype work? In his bar, it's for hyping up the other hosts so he's top class at it.
Tsukuyomi: Are you worth it, you say? Of course you all are, my fabulous guests! Did you want to feel it? Look at Barong!
Barong is up on a pole!

Barong: Welcome kitties! No touching during the show, but you can touch all you want when I'm off! Go ahead, stuff those tips under my strap! Make it rain even, but don't look away!
Barong winks and starts spinning! Sometimes he goes slow and sometimes he slides quick into a pose.
Mobs: OH MY GOD
MC: Wow! / (give tips)
So many tips flying! Barong keeps winking and blowing kisses until the crowd goes crazy! Then he gets down and points to someone.
Governor A: Aww I came all this way but I'm too chicken to get closer...
Barong is pointing at that guy.
Tsukuyomi: Wow, you're our lucky star today! Get up there!
Governor A: w-wait what
The crowds part and form a path!
Barong: Come on kitty, you ain't seen nothing yet!
Governor A walks up and kneels! He seems to have a halo???
Barong: Alright, keep watching until the end!
End of Episode part

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 1 Part 2 (Abridged)

Y'golonac: Ta-dah! Nice, huh? We even gots a water stage in central Chuo where we'll decide who gets to sing the last song to be No. 1!
Sarutahiko: what
Y'golonac: We gonna sing our favorite song at the end of the day! Huge deal, y'all!
Barong: A solo stage? Oh my god I can use Performance there!?
Sarutahiko: Oh god the escalation...uh, not that I'm scared or whatever.
Ophion: How dare you all make me, the owner, wait!
Hmm, big boss bird is with him.
Simurgh: Hey. You the Kabukicho contact rep?
Y'golonac: Das me, Y'golonac! Thanks for all yer help!
Simurgh: Hmm. I thought you were some dumbass, but you got guts. Nice.
Y'golonac: I'mma Outlaw! You and me know how it is.
Bael: (Lawbreakers!)
Simurgh: Anyways, you wanted waiters? You can borrow these guys.
A cat and guard step up.
Y'golonac: Niiiice, mebbe we can put y'all in the host party too.
MC: WHORE / (glare at Y'golonac) / (flirt)
(AB) Y'golonac: Now now, yer the cutest MC even when yer jealous.
(C) Y'golonac: GASP! You have ME, MC! Where'd ya learn to act like that?

Simurgh: Heh, need preopen customers? Got tons of those.
The Wanderers come out.
Q'ursha: Them? Really?
Hei Long Yi Quan: Hey chat we got a special stream today! I'm here for an advance visit at a hot spot in Odaiba!
MC: welp / Q'ursha, pick me! / who's the cute dog?
(B) Q'ursha: Oh? You're approaching me? Bring it.
(C) HLYQ: Oh, me? Wow, when was the last time I introduced myself?

Hei Long Yi Quan: Hi, I'm Hei Long Yi Quan from the Arakawa Wanderers and I'm a corporate streamer!
Gurangatch: Hehe, hi MC we're here too. This is exciting.
Barguest: Why am I here, really? What if something blows up?
Hotei: Hey Tetsugyuu, Sarutahiko! I'mma cheer y'all on!
MC: I'm excited too, Gurangatch / How about I make you happy, Barguest? / I'll make you smile today, Hotei
---
(A) Gurangatch: Yeah. I wanted to see you in a host suit, MC.
(B) Barguest: Bit cringey to hear, but okay.
(C) Hotei: Go easy on me, yeah?
Sarutahiko: Was that a test!? How am I supposed to do this in front of my friends!?
Hotei: Niiice, the snarky follow up. Hey Sarutahiko, if ya ever get nervous just remember me makin' a face!
---
Y'golonac: Wait what? We gotta get ready, we ain't even suited up yet. Okay team, dress up time!

Later
Y'golonac hasn't changed.
Y'golonac: Nice suit ya apparently have on, MC! Careful, I might run off and take ya with me, gweheheh...
MC: Oh you / wait you aren't changing? / GROSS, get away from me!
---
(B) Y'golonac: This baby's got a trick you'll see later, hehe.
---
Y'golonac: Now where the hell is everyone else?
Oh look here comes Tsukuyomi, Shino, and Tetsugyuu.
Tsukuyomi: Hey starlight, I'm over the moon for you.
Shino: H-hello my fated destiny. My fangs will never let you go if they sink into you.
Tetsugyuu: You're a prisoner of my dee sire or something. Hehe, pick me Boss!
MC: You're shining, Night Emperor! / Wow Shino you look great / Whoa, Tetsugyuu you look so good!
(A) Tsukuyomi: Thanks, I need to shine as bright as you are.
(B) Shino: P-please stop! These fancy clothes are wasted on me!
(C) Tetsugyuu: Thanks Boss! Go ahead, fall for me!

Y'golonac: Niiice. Good job on the lines too, even with Shino bein' a little embarrassed.
Shino: How do you expect me to drop a line like that with a straight face!?
Oh look, Barong and Sarutahiko are out now.
Barong: Hey kitty, what show do you want me to do tonight?
Sarutahiko: I gotta bubbly heart present for you, ducky! It's cool, it won't pop just like that.
MC: Nice! / Barong how much??? / Heart please, Sarutahiko!
---
(B) Barong: Aww, thanks. Full service for you!
(C) Sarutahiko: uhhh, y-you can have as many as you want...
---
Y'golonac: Okay ya found some good dudes but we ain't losin'!
Finally, Bael and Perun come out.
Bael: Bon nuit ma cherie, I'll grant you any wish your heart can pay for!
Perun: Kneel before your king, peasant! For I am the emperor of Emperor Hosts, Perun!
MC: sign me up, Bael / I want to make you smile more, Perun!
(A) Bael: Heh. Promise to make me your number one and I can play along with this revelry.
(B) Perun: Hah, impressive attitude, clown! Keep up those naive words!

Y'golonac: Oh good, that suit fits ya Perun. Cool that's everyone!
MC: Everyone looks awesome! / somehow it feels like Team Good Hosts vs Team Evil Hosts now
---
(BC) Y'golonac: Yep, it's Team Service vs Team Boss now!
---
Sarutahiko: ...hey, didn't someone say we'd be doing customer service in swimsuits earlier?
Y'golonac: Yep, that's a thing. Now look at this li'l trick we pulled from Ar Tonelico! Purge!
Y'golonac pushes a button and everyone's suits blow off into swimsuits!
MC: OH MY GOOOOD
Y'golonac: Yeeee, it's perfect!
Bael and Sarutahiko: IS NOT
MC: Yeah! / At least give us a heads up! / THIS is what you meant by swimsuits!?

Y'golonac: *(bonked)* OOF! but why tho...
Sarutahiko: This is more embarassing than a regular swimsuit! But I guess it does help the party mood...
Bael: How did you make it so that only the shirt and not the jacket blew up? Also fix it back right now.
Y'golonac: Sorry, it's one-way. Gotta put it back on the hard way.
Bael: How DARE you not use strange tech magic to make it go both ways!
Perun and Barong meanwhile like the swim-suits and are posing.
Shino: I-I did not see anything. I will pick up our clothes.
Shino seems really embarrassed as he hands back MC's clothes.
MC: You saw too much, Shino / (stare) / Thanks
---
(A) Shino: I-I cannot help it!
(B) Shino: I-I cannot believe this happened when I came to be a guard!
---
Tetsugyuu: Shino, chill! How ya gonna service customers like that?
Tsukuyomi: I think that's good though, haha. Plenty of people will like you as you are.
MC: Huh, you two aren't bothered? / (stare at Tetsugyuu) / (stare at Tsukuyomi)
(A) Tetsugyuu: We fought together as bros, nothing to be ashamed of.
Tsukuyomi: Being a host means being looked at. Though you make me feel a little hotter under the collar when you do it.
(B) Tetsugyuu: It's okay Boss, you can touch me hehe.
(C) Tsukuyomi: Oh? Go ahead, come and get a closer look.

Perun: MC, come over here and decide whether Barong or I am shining brighter!
Barong: It's me and my dancer body!
Perun: Hmph! Then see my winter forged body!
MC: You're both good / Ooh, Barong! / Ooh, Perun!
(A) Perun: Okay true, you are impressive. Very well, the winner is whoever becomes number one then.
Barong: Bring it!
(B) Barong: Thanks babe! Watch me dance even better, okay?
(C) Perun: But of course! Behold as I conquer the number one spot!
Tsukuyomi: I look forward to seeing you try, heh.

Bael and Sarutahiko go up to Y'golonac. Y'golonac is picking his nose.
Y'golonac: Y'all gonna do good out there, have some confidence!
Sarutahiko: I...guess?
Bael: Don't just let him talk you out of it like that!
MC: You two look great in host suits / You so look like a number one as a host, Bael / Serve me as a host, Sarutahiko
---
(A) Bael and Sarutahiko blush and look at each other.
Y'golonac: Hey, why y'all gotta be up in my grill when I compliment ya, but not when MC does it?
(B) Bael: Yyyyou thought you could get me to work if you said that, didn't you? Scheming snake! ...well I can help for a little bit, but I'm leaving the moment I get tired of this!
(C) Sarutahiko: Aww man, how am I supposed to say no to that? Okay fiiine, I can do this shit. I was number one in customer service back home!
---
Ophion: Stop whining when you haven't done anything yet! (takes another look at everyone) Well okay, the waiting was worth it then.
Y'golonac: Hell yeah we gon do this shit! Step it up, y'all! Kick off the pre-openin' with a bang!

Later
Time for Team Y'golonac and the Wanderers drinking date thing!
Simurgh: Ohh, so that's how you wanna play the summer host thing. MC, come with me. You know how not to ruin a mafia don's mood, right?
MC: Thank you don. / (pull out a brush) / (step boldly)
---
(B) Simurgh: Is brushing your thing? I'll pass, keep my O-face private. But you can do that if you come to my room, hehe.
Y'golonac: NOOOO MY BABY
Simurgh: Parents are supposed to watch the babies fly from the nest. How about you let go?
---
Simurgh lets MC pick their own drink and gets some mint and lime juice cocktail with a topping of sherbet and cherry. It's pretty cute.
Simurgh: You can have the cherry, MC. (picks it up and hands it over)
MC: You do this a lot? / (just take it) / (push his beak back and take it)
(A) Simurgh: Just a cheap life hack. I can show you how to do it with your feet if you want.
(B) Simurgh: Heh, you evil stoic host you. How many guys are you looking to play with this summer?
(C) Simurgh: Ooh, brave. You gonna make all the boys go crazy this summer, huh?

Y'golonac is dramatically watching MC and Simurgh from across the room.
Y'golonac: Oh god oh sheez oh hell mebbe I shouldn'ta made MC a host!
Everyone else seems to be having a good time.
Perun: Hahaha, keep that camera running! Purge time! (pops off suit)
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whooooa!
Perun: Heh, I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of!
HLYQ: So you guys use a chip system and we can ask the host for things here? Like when chat tips me sometimes. Maybe I should ask for something?
Perun: You offer tribute? Heh, lay your wishes on me!
The tips are just coming in for people's favorites

Hei Long Yi Quan: Hey chat, should I give a tip too?
Perun: Go on! Y'golonac made a good system here!
Y'golonac: Thanks! Gettin' lotsa tips fires ya up, huh?
HLYQ: Hey Perun, how about we sing together! Oh wait, can I stream this? Maybe we can even do my ending theme song together and sell it!
Perun: Oooh. Pass me the mic and get that music started!
Perun starts hijacking the song into a brag track! HLYQ rolls with it without missing a beat! Bael is talking with Gurangatch who seems nervous.
Bael: Heh. So, don't go to these types of establishments much?
Gurangatch: N-no! I-I... I can't speak well in front of people...
Bael: Well this is my first time too, so we can both relax. It's hard though, not used to not having anything in my hands. Maybe you should ask for something. Or maybe you want to do something more demonic? (smiles and fluffs his tail at Gurangatch)
Gurangatch: UHHHH, this one please!
Gurangatch orders a giant ass soda with a giant ass price tag and starts spilling/gulping it down.

Bael: Whoa, you should slow down Gurangatch. I'll get a towel.
Y'golonac: Well damn I ain't ever seen that happen before.
Bael: It's fine, Simurgh is handling everyone's finances. Also, maybe I'm better at hosting than I thought. And the active flexing of who is number one, hehehe...
Y'golonac: Eesh, ya really are a devil, huh? Helpful tho.
Y'golonac glances at Shino's table.
Shino: It's impressive how you deny your own wishes and choose to be alone.
Barguest: Nah, I'm just afraid of being hated.
Shino: You are better than self-centered cowards. I once let someone important to me die for my own desires...
Barguest: Stop that, everyone has the right to be happy. I was saved by someone who believed in that.
Barguest smiles and clinks glasses with Shino.
Y'golonac: Wait what, when did we turn into therapy hour!? And it's supposed to be the host being nice and comfortin'!
Shino: But Lord Tsukuyomi once said counseling is a host's weapon.
Y'golonac: Dammit. Shino, you stay after so we do Hosting 101!

Right, how's Team Tsukuyomi doing on the other side of the club?
Barong: Wow, you're a player huh? Not fun enough?
Q'ursha: You especially don't get to call me that. You'll flirt with anyone anywhere and wag your pretty little tail for whoever, don't you?
Barong: Aww, you think my tail's pretty?
Q'ursha: Uggggh, I hate flatterers. Especially rookie dopes crooning about love and romance.
Q'ursha looks hurt. Barong smiles and hands him a glass while very close.
Barong: It's cool, I'm a pro! I can make things exciting and all you gotta do is watch. Want any dance music?
Q'ursha: ...put on a war or hunting ballad then.
Barong: Okay, I'll try to make you feel better!
Barong puts on music with his phone and starts dancing! Meanwhile...

Hotei: Okay Tetsugyuu, I'mma tip ya if you make me laugh. But if I make YOU laugh...
Tetsugyuu: W-what? I can handle being on a comedy act.
Hotei: Ooh, sounds good! But anyways, if you laugh I'm not tippin' ya. We're doin' a joke contest!
Tetsugyuu: Bring it! I've been practicing to make the Boss laugh!
Hotei: Get ready to piss your pants then!
And finally, Sarutahiko is with a displeased Ophion.
Sarutahiko: Uh, you're the boss of this place. You could just go to MC if you want them so much.
Ophion: I would if it wasn't Simurgh over there.
Simurgh can live as long as dragons and Ophion sees him as having lived longer than him. Also as an equal in authority and his working partner.
Sarutahiko: Huh. Figured you'd be the "I'm king of the world" typa guy.
Ophion: Maybe my older self would have flexed on everyone...

Sarutahiko is having thoughts while looking at Ophion.
Sarutahiko: I think when you get older, you also get more of something nice which is more important. Reminds me of all the nice old folks who come to my bathhouse. Wish I'll be like that someday...
Some mental voice asks Sarutahiko "are you saying I've been wasting my life?" and Sarutahiko mentally apologizes.
Ophion: You DARE indirectly lecture me?
Ophion charges his claws and laser breath!
Sarutahiko: N-no??? I didn't say that! ...oops.
Ophion: So you were THINKING it.
Sarutahiko: HELP

Ophion swings! And stops right before hitting Sarutahiko in the eyes!
Ophion: Hah! Kidding. I'm impressed you actually tried giving me your opinion. Perhaps I should take your advice and forgive you.
Sarutahiko: I thought I was gonna die!
Ophion: Waiter! Bring us a bottle!
Ophion takes a glass and holds it to Sarutahiko.
Ophion: So, what do I need to make MC fall harder for me when I get older?
Sarutahiko: How did we get to this point!? J-just ask them!
Tsukuyomi smiles as he watches everyone.
Tsukuyomi: Not quite the usual host style, but ehh, we're at the beach. What should I do to show off everyone's individual qualities better?
Y'golonac: Yo, Tsukuyomi! How's y'all doin'? We're doin' pretty good I think!
Tsukuyomi: Same here. I was thinking about how to make them do even better.
Tsukuyomi is also thinking about making Y'golonac better too.
Y'golonac: Huh. Well it ain't gonna be fun with no challenge!
Tsukuyomi: We aren't going to lose either. I'm going to try staying number one.
Y'golonac: Ya better learn to enjoy the taste of dirt when I knock ya off yer perch!
And so both go back to their teams.
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 1 Part 1 (Abridged)

Y'golonac and Tsukuyomi are putting together their host teams!
Tetsugyuu: Night King, do you even know who to get for this?
Tsukuyomi: Heh, you wanna know? It's a team of four and there's two of us already. I'm a night person though, so I don't really know any daytime people. You? Maybe a people pleaser service worker?
Tetsugyuu: You're dumping it on me!? I don't--actually maybe I do. From school!
Bathhouse
Sarutahiko: Hey you, long time no see!
Saru no Yu bathhouse, Asakusa. Sarutahiko is here. And a stalker~.
Tsukuyomi: Hmm. He knows MC, he comes to hang out sometimes. He's the guard of Ama no Yachimata the Crossroad of Heaven so he's got good Insight. Guess I'll see how good he'll be as a host!
Sarutahiko is working hard.

Sarutahiko: Aww, your back hurts? Check out this hot bath! I look sick? Nah, I'm good!
He seems concerned inside.
Sarutahiko: (Why's Tsukuyomi staring at me!?)
Hey, Tsukuyomi was one of the Top 3 important people in Takamagahara.
Sarutahiko: (Did I piss him off last time I went over?)
Tsukuyomi continues watching.
Tsukuyomi: Hmm, good customer service. People like him, he's got good Negotiation skills. Nice.
Tsukuyomi goes up to talk to Sarutahiko.
Sarutahiko: U-um. Do you need help with anything, Tsukuyomi-sama?
Tsukuyomi: Oh you noticed me! Nice Observation skills too.
Sarutahiko: (He's wearing a goddamn suit in here! Gramma in the back noticed him!)
Tsukuyomi: Now now, relax. I wanted to talk to you. (casually lifts up Sarutahiko's chin)
Sarutahiko: WHAT
Tsukuyomi leans in close! Sarutahiko closes his eyes! Gulping sound!

Tsukuyomi: Cool, you pass.
Sarutahiko: wait what
Tsukuyomi: You got that babby's first host gig vibe, but that could be relaxing for people.
Sarutahiko: WHAT, RUDE
Tsukuyomi: Oh right, getting ahead of myself. Wanna be a host this summer?
Sarutahiko: Wait am I being headhunted away?
Tsukuyomi explains it's a seasonal short term gig in Odaiba.
Sarutahiko: Oh, MC's there too? That makes me feel a little better...
Tsukuyomi: You got the potential. Wanna try something new? Now imagine some customers yelling and screaming about how good a host you are. What kind of host do you want to be?

Sarutahiko Fantasy Vision go!
Random Mobs: OMG SARUTAHIKO!
Sarutahiko: Hey babes! Bubble Heart, go!
Sarutahiko throws heart-shaped bubbles at people!
Random Mobs: Shot through the heart, and you're to blaaame~!
Sarutahiko: Now now, go any crazier and you'll give love a bad name!
Random Mobs: (more screaming and crying)
MC: Wow, you're number one Sarutahiko! Shoot me too!
Sarutahiko: Aww thanks, I wanna be your No. 1, MC! How about we have a little bubbly together later...?
Present
Sarutahiko: Ehehehe...
Tsukuyomi: Thank you for sharing out loud with the class, I see you're motivated at least.
Sarutahiko: WAIT I didn't say yes yet! I still gotta talk to the boss first...

Later
Sarutahiko: how did I get into this... I mean I can't say no to Tsukuyomi. And then the crying and screaming over me, hehe... but the bathhouse... The boss said 'help your friends' but STILL...
Tsukuyomi: Haha, I appreciate it, but you really could have said no.
Sarutahiko: N-no, I'm in. Actually, you sure you want a newbie like me?
Tsukuyomi: I think you got a real knack for it.
Tsukuyomi and Sarutahiko are at some resort looking for someone.
Sarutahiko: Are we getting another Umamichi guy?
Tsukuyomi: Nah, Gyoubu and Tetsuya hooked me up with another Suidocho student they know. Some hotelier in training.
Sarutahiko: Oh, sounds like a high level customer service dude.
Tsukuyomi: Yes, but there's more to it than that. Sarutahiko, you deal with customer complaints, right?

Sarutahiko: (nods confusedly) Yeah, though most go away quick enough.
Tsukuyomi: Well we're going to see Barong, and I hear he never makes a negative face. Think you could do the same with the Karens who come in?
Sarutahiko: Uh, it probably depends on the customers I talk to.
Tsukuyomi: Haha, fair. Doesn't Barong sound good at hosting though?
Tsukuyomi and Sarutahiko look over. Barong is there.
Barong: Welcome! Do you have a reservation?
Tsukuyomi: Actually we came to see you, sorry.
Barong: Me...? Oh, you one of my fans? Nice. But my shows are at night, sorry!
Tsukuyomi: I sorta am.
Tsukuyomi invites Barong into his host party!

Tsukuyomi: By the way, Y'golonac's in a different party. Heard you've been asking him to partner up with you, and that sounds cool. What if you guys made it happen this event? Maybe.
Barong: I'm in! Gonna party it up with everybody everywhere! ...if you think I can do the host thing after watching me at work, I mean.
Tsukuyomi: Okay? Tetsuya said you'd be great.
Barong looks confident.
Barong: You're doing a whole new summer beach host thing, right? Which means Performance work up my street! You don't mind me doing my own host style, do you?
Tsukuyomi: It's cool! Shall we get this show on the road now?
Barong: Okay! Uhh... Sarutahiko or whatever? Can you pretend to be the customer?
Sarutahiko: UHHHH
Barong: It'll be cool, just sit there and watch me.
Barong looks Sarutahiko right in the face, puts his hand on his knee, then climbs into his lap.
Barong: No looking away~! Okay, hit the music!
Sarutahiko: WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING

Meanwhile
MC and Y'golonac go to Chuo to recruit a host party member!
Bael: NO
Y'golonac: But why tho? Ya already do consultant work, you can do it.
Bael: But I don't want to. Why should No. 1 have to do customer servicing?
Y'golonac: Puhleeez??? I'm already runnin' out of ideas on who to ask!
Bael tries to shut the door, but Y'golonac shoves his foot in!
Bael: Go away! I'll sue you if I have to!
MC: Bael pls? You'd be sooo cool and awesome~!
Bael: Y-you can't butter...me...up like...
Hmmmm.
Y'golonac: HMMMM methinks the twink doth protest too much-ah. Come onnn, ya wanna be No. 1 don'tcha? Thinka all the people bowin' to ya!
Bael: (blushes)

Bael Fantasy Vision, go!
Bael: Mwahahaha! Who's No. 1!?
Mobs: Bael!
Bael Yes, you are all correct! Look, a present!
Bael pulls out an all day date ticket and flaps it around.
Bael: Whoever has this gets to be my special someone for a day and--oops~! I dropped it!
The mobs lunge for the ticket!
Bael: Yes! Fight for it like the lowly pigs you are! Worship me, peons! Mwahahaha!
Present
Y'golonac: Earth to Bael, come in Bael.
Bael: Ah! What were we talking about?
Y'golonac: The hell were you thinkin' about!? Ugh, you gonna be a host or not?
Bael: M-my answer hasn't changed.
Y'golonac: (Oooh, just a little push to get him over the edge to the dark side, eh?) Let's get 'im, MC!
MC: Okay! / Come on, you know you want to~ / wait what
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)

Bael: GO AWAY
Y'golonac: Aww, Bae-by such a hard worker~! MC, let's give him something nice!
MC and Y'golonac shove Bael into a chair and loom in close!
MC: (pet him) / (brush him) / (sit on him)
Bael: WHAT
Y'golonac: Come on, we really need your help to win. Pretty pleeease? You were my number one pick to ask help from.
Bael: D-did he really, MC? But...
Y'golonac thinks he's totally got Bael corrupted! Bael's thinking of other things.
Bael: (If I join, it might be easier to nab Y'golonac, but...)
Y'golonac: Pretty please with a cherry on top??? Be our number one star???
Bael: ...okay fine.
Y'golonac: Gwehehe, oh ya little tease, hidin' how you really feel~
Bael: AM NOT
And that's how Y'golonac and Tsukuyomi expanded their parties.

Later, Odaiba
Y'golonac: Barong, why are ya here!?
Barong: Tsukuyomi picked me up!
MC: Sarutahiko too? Oh right same school. / (smirk at Sarutahiko)
---
(AB) Sarutahiko: Hehe, Tsukuyomi picked me up too! I have no idea what's going on!
(C) Sarutahiko: Y-you think my being here's a joke, huh!? I'll show you!
---
Tsukuyomi: Wow you picked up Bael? It came to mind, but I figured you'd say no.
Y'golanac: It must be mah natural virtue and karma workin' out for me!
Bael: My presence is partially against my will!
Y'golonac: Tee hee. Anyhoo that's everyone right? Let's get to war already!
Y'golonac points at the really fancy beach hut built over the water.
???: HALT
Perun drops down from somewhere!
Perun: I heard war and I want in!

Flashback!
Perun: Damn, Kitezh blizzards are strong. I must keep up with all the pillaging and conquering everyone is doing!
So snowy. Perun is the emperor of Kitezh who stalls the fated destruction of his world with the faith of diffusion. If the world is harsh, they should adapt and assimilate. Enemies? Absorb them. Families? Absorb them. Perun absorbed the blizzard to spread his existential range. His mortar artifact? A Pillar. It crushes him along with his enemies. It's the power to grind his own memories and insert them into others like it's Bleach's Book of the End. The price? Assimilation goes both ways, baby. He influences them, they influence him. He's Theseus's Ship'd himself to the point he doesn't have much of his old self left, not even the rage and excitement he felt talking to Someone. But that Someone still sticks in his memories, the poet who gave them(/themselves?) affection.
Perun: Where are you going, servant!?
The poet seems to speak.
Perun: What? I can't hear you!
The poet comes closer. He seems to whisper something...

Later
Setagaya Director's Office
Perun: ...! Oh, was I dreaming again? I couldn't hear that damned fool. How DARE I be teased like this without seeing the end!?
Volkh hears yelling and walks in.
Volkh: Did you awaken my lord? You sound hoarse...
Perun: Oh, Volkh. It's nothing. Bad dreams.
Volkh: You have bad dreams?? I shall prepare herbal tea!
Perun nods and thinks on the deja vu dream. Using his artifact probably cuts out the memories his Pillar thinks is irrelevant. So why does this apparently unimportant memory dream keep coming to him?
Perun: Hmm...perhaps it's just a nightmare. Never mind, what's today's itinerary?
Volkh: Sir, today there is environmental maintenance and inspection at Odaiba.
Perun: Okay, good luck with that Volkh.
Volkh: But Sir, please come! The Tycoons will be there too so...
Perun: Pffft, why should I care? I have personal issues to dwell on! Go ahead, kick the hornet's nest!
Volkh: (sighs) Well I didn't want to say this, but Odaiba's summer event has...
Perun: MC is there!? Why didn't you say so sooner!?
Volkh: Because you'll ditch work to see them!
Perun: Sounds like a plan to me! Odaiba, ho!
Volkh: But Sir! Work!

Present
Elsewhere in Odaiba
Hippolytus: Volkh? I thought Perun was with you.
Volkh: ...he left me as soon as we came here.
Hippolytus: Oh well then! Should we call and say he'll be late?
Volkh: No, based on experience...he won't be coming back for three weeks.
Hippolytus: !?
Where the parties are in Odaiba
Perun: I heard war and I want in!
Y'golonac: WHOMST? And ya wanna be a host???
Bael: Oh. Perun.
Perun: Yes, it is I! As getting financed goes, how could I not be first place?
Y'golonac: Uh that ain't really the goal here. Are ya doin' this because you thought you could run a bar?
Perun: Pffft. I'm here for MC. OBVIOUSLY. Rejoice, I shall be with you!
MC: Ummm / tee hee yaaaay / You, a host? Really?

Perun glances at MC and projects the dream poet onto them. He left him for places beyond his reach, and only here at the beach can he easily see them again.
Perun: Well, I can invade Kabukicho's agronomics if you refuse me.
Setagaya is the best at food production here in Tokyo. Shino and Tetsugyuu move for their weapons, and Perun doesn't react.
Tsukuyomi: Okay, you can join. But host work isn't as easy as you think it is, you know.
Perun: Pffft, as if I fail at anything.
Tsukuyomi just smiles.
Y'golonac: Really? We were perfectly 4v4 until now.
Tsukuyomi: It's cool, I'll just work as hard as two people. Nice handicap for having a newbie here.
Y'golonac: Mkay then, no whinin' if ya lose.
Right, full event cast is here!
Y'golonac: Anyways, the Host House is open for business y'all!
End of Episode part