Live A Hero Summer Survival Island Episode 5 (Abridged)

Flashback! Maybe!
Ikusabata Patriach: Sadayoshi. You are a soldier, so be judgmental on good and evil. Law! Decorum! Order! Loyalty to the people? Pfffft. No mercy to villains and Monsters! Well okay maybe you might have to protect villains sometimes, but not if they threaten people! If they get there, you are a failure as an Ikusabata and we will throw you out too. That is what it means to be part of our family!
Sadayoshi: ...yes, Father.
Ikusabata Patriarch: Good. Oh, one more thing. Do you believe an Ikusabata should know how to make a decent cup of tea?
Sadayoshi: Y-yes?
Ikusabata Patriarch: Good, get to learning with the comically large tea cup I've ordered for you. (shoves Sadayoshi into the tea-filled teacup)
Sadayoshi: Father, please stop...!
Ikusabata Patriarch: I'm not hearing any learning happening!

Present
Sadayoshi: Urgh... tea...
It's dawn now! The party is sleeping in shifts. Sadayoshi kept watch all night and only now decided to lie down for a nap.
Isaribi: Zzz...big fish...
Yuhang: New food...zzz...
Isaribi and Yuhang are holding Sadayoshi by the way.
MC: Funny. Colonel seems to be having a bad time though. Better let him sleep more.
That sun sure is rising. Also Sadayoshi slips out and gets up.
MC: Morning Colonel / sorry did I wake you?
(A) Sadayoshi: Morning. Did you get some rest?
(B) Sadayoshi: ...no, it was supposed to be just a nap. Had a dream. Did you get some rest?

MC nods.
Sadayoshi: How long has it been since I dreamed? I don't remember it much but it felt both nostalgic and scary...how strange.
MC: Weird nightmare.
Sadayoshi shakes himself awake.
Sadayoshi: ...I'm awake now. We used to train with a bell waking us up at night. Quick mustering practice. This is better though. Also, where is Giansar?
MC: He was already up and elsewhere when I got up.
Speak of the devil!
Giansar: Damn, you can casually sleep during a disaster? You really heroes?
MC: Bananas!? You grabbed breakfast ahead of us, jerk! / Hmmmm...
(C) Giansar: What? Are you making fun of me?

Giansar: Took a walk to look around. Ship's not a bust, might take me half a day to fix if we get back the engine. Found these space bananas on the way back, not much different from Earth bananas. The crabs shine in rainbows so maybe we shouldn't eat those. Here. (throws space banana at MC)
MC: Yay, thanks! / Wow you CAN be nice / I'm not into bananas...
---
(B) Giansar: ...shut up and eat.
(C) Giansar: ...oh. Take it anyways since it'll hold a few days unless you're allergic.
---
Giansar: You too. (finishes space banana and holds one out to Sadayoshi)
Sadayoshi: (Hmm. He must not have found an escape if he came back from going alone. But...)
Sadayoshi: ...what is the meaning of this charity?
Giansar: ...uggggh, come on. We need to work together to get out of this joint and you'll get in the way if you don't eat. Hurry up. (shoves space banana)
Sadayoshi: Oh...

Zaniah: ...(yawn) what's all the noise? Ooh, banana!
Giansar: Bleh, you're up. Also that was the last one.
Zaniah: Noooo...!
Giansar: Kidding. THIS is the last one. (eats space banana)
Zaniah: GASP! I'll get you for this!
Isaribi: Mornin'. Guess no ships came by, huh?
Yuhang: Ooh, I smell something sweet.
MC: Hi Isaribi / Hi Yuhang
---
(A) Isaribi: Hey. You sleep okay?
(B) Yuhang: I smelled something nice! What is it?
---
Giansar: I found a bunch of space bananas. They seem okay.
Yuhang: Yay!
Zaniah: You mean there actually was more!? You bastard!
Giansar: Get them yourself, Pinkie Thief.
Zaniah: Oh, right! I'm supposed to steal!
Giansar: ...are you for real?
Breakfast and meeting time!

Later
MC: Okay so, today we find the engine and blow this joint.
Isaribi: We been out all night so Gorou oughta--actually not him. Lilac and Pubraseer probably went looking for us.
Yuhang: Kirsch too.
MC: No wait, Gorou too! / Maybe they noticed by now.
---
(A) Isaribi: Nah, bro definitely went drinking. Bet on that.
---
Sadayoshi: Well with so many heroes, hopefully one of them will find us...
Isaribi: Yeah. Not that we know where we are but still...maybe we can call out? Giansar, is the jamming still up?
Giansar: (looks up from phone) Yeah, still up. Guess we gotta plan a way out. So anyways I went to go check if the shark dropped the engine.
MC: Wait what? Is that why you got up so early?

Giansar: It's ONLY the most important part of us getting out of this shit. Didn't find it though.
Zaniah: D-did the Monster retgone it already?
Yuhang: Maybe some other thing picked it up?
Giansar: Whichever. Water's clear enough that I can't have missed it even when I dived in.
Sadayoshi: So...we have to keep salvaging then.
Giansar: I've at least figured out where to look for parts based off yesterday's info. We'll have to go at it like this is the worst case scenario.
The party sighs.
Isaribi: Guess we better make food for however long we're stuck here.
Zaniah: Ooh, dinner was good so I'm looking forward to today's!
Giansar: ...guess we have to. Yuhang, Isaribi, you two handle that.
Yuhang: Isaribi's the only one who can freefish in the water.
Isaribi: Racial perks! I got this!
Yuhang: We still have space bananas at least!
Giansar: Cool. MC, you come with us.
MC: Yeah, there might be Monsters again. Having powers handy is good if we go diving too.

Giansar: Yeah, hero powers are good for lots of things. Also if the Monster damaged the engine I might not be able to find it. You might, but then I dunno if I could fix it like that.
MC: Welp, I'll do my best!
Sadayoshi: I shall keep you safe as best I can, MC.
Zaniah: Uh-huh. You don't like us being around, don't you?
Sadayoshi: ...you two ARE criminals, but if you were going to try anything it would have been last night. I'll be along today, so it will be fine. I still have my eyes on you, especially Giansar.
Giansar: ...meh, you just have to bitch about it, don't you? Whatever, get ready to go.
Angry looks.
Yuhang: Hey Giansar, how'd you figure out where to find parts anyway?
Giansar: Ask Zaniah. She did the prep work.
Everyone looks at Zaniah.
Zaniah: Oh FINE. The treasure's still mine though!
Sadayoshi: ...I'll explain then.

So hey there's old hi tech ruins all around the area.
Zaniah: ...and that's why I came looking for the Cerulean Sphere. It has to be worth something with a fancypants name like that!
Sadayoshi: I've never heard of it before, but yes that's why she's here.
Zaniah: ...I dunno anything else, but it must be worth a ton! We're salvaging anyways, so lemme do my thing for a bit!
Isaribi: Oh wait, I heard about the Cerulean Sphere before. They say it'll give you like all the knowledge if you get it. Good times.
Yuhang: What? Zaniah made it sound like it was a real thing tho.
Zaniah: It IS real, and it's gonna be MINE!
MC: Treasure hunt! / let's get outta here first
Giansar: (sighs) ...well anyways, hi tech ruins means we should find usable parts.
Sadayoshi: I've done some salvaging yesterday too, so you can ask me anything MC.
MC: Yes sir! Let's go, people.
Time to split the party for work.

Later
Time to check for that engine!
Sadayoshi: (stares)
MC: ...Colonel, did something happen with those two?
Sadayoshi: ...nothing in particular. But my father always taught me that villains are evil. I still agree with that, having seen selfishness hurt the people I care about.
Sadayoshi watches Zaniah and Giansar. The other two are working without issue.
Sadayoshi: ...but that is also why I feel like I gave up on rethinking things. Obeying orders is important...but that is also a simple way of describing things. I give out orders as a leader, but that means I need to keep thinking about things, and maybe knowing them better can be the start of something new.
MC: Oh, so that's why you seem a little different.
Sadayoshi: Oh...you could tell? I need to keep it in better. As villains, I must be sure of my judgment of them. So I want to know them better...and maybe see if there are things I should reexamine.
Digivice noises!
MC: omg???

Zaniah: (gasp!) I sense MONEY!
Giansar: Stop picking up random shit. You can treasure hunt on your own goddamn time when we AREN'T stuck on a godforsaken rock in the middle of nowhere.
Zaniah: (picks up more random junk) Must scrounge up ALL the vendor trash! It's...not...too...heavy!
Zaniah starts walking into the water.
Zaniah: Okay, let's g--(trips and falls into water)
Sadayoshi: Zaniah! Oh fine...
Sadayoshi dives into the water, then brings back Zaniah and her junk!
Zaniah: Phew! Okay wow, literally what?
MC: You okay? / welp

Zaniah brushes herself off.
Giansar: Girl what is your deal with money
Sadayoshi: Surely there are better ways to get it than thievery?
Zaniah: ...I know it's wrong, but I became a villain to use my powers to get money for my family. I swore I wouldn't do it any other way.
Sadayoshi: (surprised staring)
Zaniah: So like I was adopted a REALLY long time ago by my family now. All I had on me was a note saying "HOME PLANET, MONSTER ATTACK." All's well for life for us poor people, but then rich people kicked us out if we couldn't pay rent. Shocker, we couldn't so they did. And we had nothing after getting thrown out of the ghetto over lAnD rIgHtS. To hell with rich people! And police and heroes who talk big about rights and sit on their butts! No one ever helped, so I learned it was all about money. And I figured I'll do anything for it.
MC: Damn
Zaniah: I didn't answer looking for sympathy. Not like I can sell it anyways, heh...just remember you were priveleged, Sadayoshi. Just know that some people HAVE to resort to villainy, hard as it is for you to imagine.
Zaniah goes back to picking up whatever.
Zaniah: Any money I make, I can pay back my family that much more! I'm taking whatever, so come help me MC! (shoves something at MC)
MC: Your family, huh? / Hmm...
(A) Zaniah: What, what about them?
(B) Zaniah: Something on your mind?

Later
Yuhang: Isaribi, they're back. You good?
Isaribi: Ready to start cooking these shish kabobs!
Looks like Isaribi and Yuhang are done prepping.
MC: Hey guys! Smells good...
Sadayoshi: Thank you for your work. It smells nice.
Isaribi: It'll be done soon!
Yuhang: Wow Zaniah, you doing good? You don't seem as sad as I figured.
Zaniah: Oh, uh, yeah, right. Looking forward to lunch...have you guys seen my family? Numbers 1 and 2?
Isaribi: Oh, MC told you? It happened a little before you woke up yesterday.
Yuhang: Yeah, haven't seen them since yesterday. I'll give them food if they want it tho.
Isaribi: They told us not to snitch on them and jumped into the bushes somewhere.
Zaniah: ...oh. Why...?

Sadayoshi: ...Zaniah, shouldn’t you put that stuff down now?
Zaniah: ...o-oh right! I'll sell you whatever's usable!
Giansar: You sure are uppity about junk you got MC to help bring over.
Zaniah: Hey, if no one else wants it. And if you guys want it, you can pay me! Perfect!
Giansar: Pffft. Do you have anything good?
Let's see. Giant screw. Some stuck gears. Spinny thing. Some put-together ball thing.
Sadayoshi: ...I think it's all useless garbage.
Zaniah: Y-you don't know that for sure! Look, the ball thing has this button and--(click)--EEK
The ball thing blows up in size! Zaniah drops it and the ball thing bounces a little!
Isaribi: Huh. Some kinda toy?
MC: Ooh, suddenly I wanna play beach volleyball!
Zaniah: !?
Zaniah: Oh yeah, we DO need this!
Shocked party!
Zaniah: Playtime, people!

Title Card: Let Those Thoughts Go

Giansar: ...can't it wait, Zaniah? We need to preserve our ener--WHOA
Giansar dodges the ball getting thrown at him!
Zaniah: Ooh, nice reflexes! But that's not how you play beach volleyball. Gimme the ball.
Giansar: Bitch, we don't have time for this!
The ball rolls over to Sadayoshi.
Sadayoshi: Hmm...
Flashback!
Lilac: Beach volleyball's a 2v2 game. Keep the ball in the air as long as you can.
Isaribi: Sports! Body to body talking!
Present
Sadayoshi: I see...
MC: What's up Colonel? Interested in beach volleyball?

Sadayoshi: ...can one get to know others through sports? I've never done it before. (picks up ball)
MC: I think so!
Sadayoshi: ...I've refused to understand villains before, but I know Zaniah and Giansar have their own circumstances. Maybe I don't need to know what they are as a soldier, but personally I want to know. I feel like I should.
MC nods.
MC: Sounds good! Some things you can't put into words, but there are ways of getting them across!
Zaniah: Hey Sadayoshi, hit the ball towards Giansar!
Sadayoshi: Um, how?
Isaribi: What, never played? I can give some advice then! Throw it up, jump up, and smack that sucker!
Sadayoshi: Oh okay, here goes. Hup!
Sadayoshi tosses that ball up high!
Sadayoshi: Ha!
Sadayoshi jumps up and spikes that ball at Giansar!
Giansar: wait what
Giansar barely dodges, but the ball bounces back up and smacks him in the chin!

Yuhang: Oof, man. You cool, Giansar?
Giansar: (gets back up) I'M GETTING YOU FOR THIS, SADAYOSHI!
Giansar smacks the ball back at Sadayoshi!
Isaribi: Quick, bump it Boss!
Sadayoshi: U-uh, like this?
Sadayoshi bumps and strikes it back!
Giansar: You bitch ass heroes keep clowning on me!
Sadayoshi: What!? Isn't that because you're a villain!?
Giansar: Fuck off, it's you guys who wouldn't accept me as a hero! I mess up one time and I get kicked out for it!? Piss off with that!
Zaniah: Well this is getting personal.
Volleyball intensifies! Sadayoshi seems personally offended.
Sadayoshi: I wasn't allowed any mistakes as an Ikusabata! I had to cast off who I was and grind myself to the bone! I'm not who I used to be anymore!
Sadayoshi jumps up and looks at MC.
Sadayoshi: I was shown I can do what I personally thought was right!
Beep beep!
MC: Welp!

Variant red light, on!
Phone: New Path detected. Subject: Sadayoshi. Connectivity: Very High.
Giansar: What the fuck are you smiling about, jackass!?
Sadayoshi seems surprised.
Sadayoshi: (Oh. Is this what people mean by fun? This feels...nice.)
Sadayoshi thinks about hitting the ball.
Sadayoshi: I see...right now, it doesn't matter who you are. You've put your feelings into the ball, so then I should...
Phone: Connect Path?
MC: Let's goooo! (click)
Ta-dah! Variant Sadayoshi!
Sadayoshi: I just want to win against you right now!
Sadayoshi spikes that ball SO HARD!
Giansar: W-what!?
Giansar gets knocked over trying to receive the ball!
Sadayoshi: T-this suit? Did you do this, MC?
MC: Observation success! / Cool suit!
(C) Sadayoshi: O-oh. Thank you, MC.

Sadayoshi: So...this is a manifestation of my current feelings.
Zaniah: Wait hold up, isn't that a different hero suit!?
Isaribi: Oh my god is that what Gorou meant about MC's variant power!?
Yuhang: Wow Sadayoshi, you look great in that!
Sadayoshi: Thank you. It feels completely different from my other suit.
Sand shuffling sounds.
Giansar: Bleh, sand got into my damn mouth! MC, what the hell was that all about transforming Sadayoshi!? Where's the fairness!?
MC: Oh, um sorry. My phone was making a pretty light and I had to touch it.
Zaniah: What kind of villain complains about fairness...?
Giansar: This ain't over, Sadayoshi!
Zaniah: Huh, you both got good looks on your faces right now. Hey Sadayoshi, I'm getting in on this! You recieve!
Sadayoshi: Wait, I'm teaming up with you? Well okay then.
Giansar: What. Isaribi, you team up with me.
Isaribi: W-what? But why!?
Giansar: You think I'm sticking for a 2v1!? Also MC, you better transform all of us!
MC: Well okay then!
Yuhang: I guess I'm referee? I still gotta watch the fire. Well whatever, game on!
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)

Zaniah: Hey Sadayoshi, watch this!
Zaniah sets the ball up!
Sadayoshi: I'm winning this, Giansar! Resolution "Evil Crushing Bullet"!
Laser beam spike!
Giansar: Goddammit...!
Giansar slides and tries to catch the ball!
BOOM!
MC: ...Team Sadayoshi and Zaniah wins!
The ball bounced off-court off Giansar's weapon!
Giansar: Shit...
Isaribi: We lost!? Aw man, what was anyone supposed to do at that short range?
Sadayoshi: ...heh, I win.
Giansar: ...shut up. Next time, you're gonna lose.
Zaniah: Aww, you're friends now! So anyways, where'd the ball g--
Yuhang: AIYAAAH

Sadayoshi: W-what is it, Yuhang? Did the ball--
Yuhang: It finally opened, thanks to you Sadayoshi!
The giant space clam got cracked by the ball earlier!
Isaribi: Nice!
Yuhang: Mkay, time to jam my knife in and open this sucker! ...hm?
Yuhang opens up the giant space clam thing to find a mechanical ball of some kind inside.
Yuhang: Uh, what?
Zaniah: Oh my god is that the Cerulean Sphere!? (grabs the orb)
Sadayoshi: It is? Why was it inside the space clam?
Zaniah: It must be! Word did say it was palm-sized, then the stories got wild!
Giansar: That can't be it if it got stuck in some giant space clam.
Zaniah: Quiet, you! Those who believe make the big bucks! And I believe this is the Cerulean Sphere! Ohoho--huh?
Weird noise from the ocean...
???: AAAHHH
Shocked party!
Isaribi: W-wait, no one else is supposed to be here!
Sadayoshi: There's only one possible explanation...
MC: It's Zaniah's family!

Later
The party runs over to the screams! Number 1's fallen over on the beach and there's tentacles in the water!
MC: I sense Monsters!
Zaniah: Ceylon!? What are you doing here!?
Number 1: Z-Zanini! Sorry we followed, but...please help! It's Benke!
Number 1 points at Number 2, who's out cold and caught by the tentacles!
Isaribi: Wait, isn't that--
Sadayoshi: We have to help!
Number 1: W-we were suddenly attacked while looking for food...
Zaniah: Benke, wake up! I'm coming to save you!
Number 2: (wakes up) wha... Lad...wait WHAT
Yuhang: Alright, good he's up! MC, take command!
MC: R-right, but the Monster's flailing harder now! Careful everyone!
The tentacles raise Number 2 up!
Number 2: Milady, get out o--
Number 2 gets dragged underwater!
Zaniah: NOOOOO
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 5 Part 2 (Abridged)

Perun thought of Veles as someone who became eternal via disappearing from everywhere. On another note, Kitezh is the world with the System of Diffusion, trying to achieve eternity by assimilating with a greater entity. A person's body may decay and become soil, but as long as the earth exists that person is believed to be immortal. Theoretically, that meant Perun should be the best with his magical pestle thing being able to mentally dominate anyone. Whoo, total nondefinition of the self! Which led to him ordering book burning since that would define and confine him. But as powerful as he was, Perun wasn't able to listen to the words of a dead poet. Veles was like a jester, the only one in the realm able to tell Perun what a dick he was. And then Veles denied Perun's all-mightiness by dying and being the only one to never listen to him. Perun reciting a poem that would go nowhere started after that.

Present
Q'ursha: Uh, who said a million is a statistic and a single death is a tragedy? Whatever. Point is, we take in what hurts us and carry it for the rest of our lives. Why am I even talking about this? Hey guys, let's play basketball!
Later
Gabriel: Hello, nice rehearsal! ...what's up, Nyarly?
Nyarlathotep: bored now. Where's the fuuuun stuff?
Gabriel: But you got fans waiting to hear your sick beats!
Nyarlathotep: Fu--oh wait I almost said the exact same thing I said the past few days!
Gabriel and Nyarlathotep are taking five. Someone frowns hard from the editing booth.
Aizen: How DARE Nyarlathotep make a mockery of my Summertime Slut-Shaming Radio Show! But it's impressive Gabriel simplified my three days' worth of work to thirty minutes. Don't you agre--
No one is there. Someone is supposed to be there.
???: No wait, p-please stop it's almost time for us to be on air!
???: Hahaha, try and stop an emperor if you dare!
Bam! Perun!
MC: Oh no this is awful!

Nyarlathotep: Huh. Attack of the crazy stan?
Gabriel: I just heard MC! ...did you do something, Nyarly?
Nyarlathotep: Nope! I'd be jazzing it the fuck up more than this if I did!
Perun: Hail, peasants! This is a takeover!
Echo: I-I'm sorry, I tried to stop him!
MC: sorry Echo / quick, backstab the bitch / I can't believe we're literally hijacking the show!
Nyarlathotep: Niiice
Gabriel: This isn't anything new anymore but come on, we're about to start!
Aizen: WHAT!? ...wait, you're the ones working with Ophion at the Fabulous Summer Host! Get out, back to the waiting room for you! Employees only!
Perun: I just sponsored the radio station. How about that? Also, Aizen was it? Servant of Ophion? We're here as Summer Hosts, but go ahead, kick us out! See what happens!
Aizen: Are you suggesting Lord Ophion ordered you here? Without evidence!? I reject your--
Gabriel and Nyarlathotep pop out of the sound booth.
Gabriel: Why don't we hear him out? If he came all this way he must have a plan, right?
Perun: Heh. Of course!

Later
Echo: (stares)
MC: I'm so sorry / wow, you're an audio girl now! / what just happened guys
---
(A) Echo: O-oh, no it's okay...
(B) Echo: I-it's not that big a deal! I just learned from doing announcements at school...
---
Aizen: There's smooth-talking happening about this takeover somehow!
Echo: Apparently he really IS radio staff according to the paperwork.
MC: what, no / I guess he WOULD make a good DJ / He listens to the radio while farming
Echo: Oh, I just thought so because Perun brought his own radio program like this one radio drama I liked. Most people don't know it, so maybe he listens to it all day?
MC: He doesn't seem like it / maybe because he likes poetry? / virality...
Echo: Well, it feels really poetic? He seems like a person who'd do great talking to himself in a booth. I wish I was as energetic as him...
Echo looks at Gabriel and Perun vibing.
MC: Could do without the storm tho / no, don't be like him / I know that feel, sorta

Echo: ...hee hee. I better get back to work soon, I'll make it great. (smiles and walks over to audio equipment)
Gabriel: Echo, can I talk to you for a sec?
Echo: Oh, o-okay! Uh...we can swing that.
Perun: Hahaha, yes! Pave the way for me, serf!
Echo: U-UM OKAY
Showtime!
Nyarlathotep: T minus 10 seconds! And counting...!
Boop
Perun: HEAR YE HEAR YE, COMMONERS! It's time for the Emperor Host's program hijack!
Rando A: WHAT
Rando B: But I was looking forward to Gabriel talk!

Gabriel: (wait we're already going off script!? Uh, we can fix it!)
Gabriel nods to Echo to start playing elevator music like mood music for the beach host club.
Gabriel: Yay, this is always so fun! I'm your dead end show host girl next door Gabri--wait that sounds too heavy on the moe.
Perun: (Girl, you're throwing out the script too!?)
Gabriel dramatically winks! Echo smiles.
Gabriel: So I was listening to this old radio drama of a host hijacking the air. Then I decided to visit the host club, but no one was as cute as me. Boo, who could that host beeee?
Perun: Girl you showed up, put on headphones, and didn't ask for anyone.
Gabriel: OMG it's Perun!
Perun: Indeed! Rejoice at my presence, lass!
Gabriel: Gasp, rude! I-it's not like I'm happy or anything!
Perun: I like them stubborn, but honest is better. You see this?
Perun slaps down some piece of paper! Echo adds sound effects to the show.

Gabriel: What? A map of...all the other Tycoon projects? A stamp rally, what?
Perun: Yes, a map of exhibitions of the VIPs in Odaiba. The world is bigger than you see, so seek them out if tedium rules your lives! And if that STILL does not satisfy you, come see me.
Gabriel: What if I never come back?
Perun: Oh you'll come to me. It is inevitable.
Gabriel: ...you're the last spot on the rally, aren't you.
Inhale noise.
Gabriel: Hi guys, surprised? Stamp rally's tomorrow!
Perun: Yes! And I do indeed have the last spot! Our collaborators are offering discounts and special services, and I of course will give the royal treatment for anyone who has seen them all.
Gabriel: Ooh, maybe I'll go too. Check them out, everybody! Okay, time to end the show today with a medley of my song--
Perun: No, MINE

Later
Show's done, Perun and MC are going back.
Perun: Yes, I AM a genius who has managed everything just as planned. You've done well to keep up with me. Now tell me how ingenious I was to finagle customers and profits from all of Odaiba!
MC: wild day today / nice job, methods aside / are we really going to win this way?
Perun: All profits go to the host club because of contract clauses! Child's play!
MC: and people agreed to that???
Perun: You saw, no force or duress was involved here. Plus, if they break contract there's less advertising happening for them. The discounts and special services are up to them. I actually worry no one will come to challenge us.
Getting near the beach host club. About time to announce today's winning host.
Perun: Remember, you are mine when I make the beach host club the winning project.
MC: I wasn't a part of that decision / nah / okay
(AB) Perun: But I said so!
(C) Perun: Ha, so you've fallen for me!

Perun: ...having said that, talk is cheap. You always did disregard my will, irritating me better than anything.
MC: chaos, chaos! Chaos is other people, and I'm never following your orders.
Perun: Ah yes, the insolence I've come to expect. Well, see my imperial wrath!
Perun yeets MC into the sea!
MC: EXCUSE ME WHAT
Perun catches MC at the last second!
Perun: HA! Did you think I would actually let you go!?
MC: (punch his stomach) / you are such an asshole!
---
(A) Perun: Is violence your love language now? Hmm...
---
Perun smiles while looking at MC.
Perun: (I never did remember what you said at the end. It can't have been important. These memories will fade away too one day...)

MC: Hello, Earth to Perun, come in Perun / (splash his face) / Are you trying to think up poetry?
---
(AC) Perun: !!
Perun: Nothing. How about we play in the water?
(B) Perun: HOW DARE! Fine, I shall dominate you here then!
---
Perun: Time to make new memories! ...wait why do I have to make those memories myself?
MC: what. Can I just leave then?
Perun: It should be me, the emperor carving new memories into others!
Hmm. Headache?
Perun: Hmph, whatever. I do as I please. Prepare yourself MC, it's time to faff about!

Later
Y'golonac: ...so y'all been splashin' around all day?
Perun: Jealous? Haha!
Y'golonac: N-naw...jus' thinkin' whether I gotta say more stuff to MC.
MC: No? / (blush) / (spank his ass)
---
(AC) Y'golonac: Tee hee, kidding.
(B) Y'golonac: Aww das cute.
---
Y'golonac: Oh wait it's almost time to declare today's number one!
Perun: Well whoever it is can thank their stars we were out today!
Tsukuyomi: Okay, time to announce today's number one people. We got TWO winners actually! Shino and Tetsugyuu!
Dramatic spotlight entrance!
Shino: Ha, very well!
Tetsugyuu: Thanks, guys!
MC: wait what / yeah! / (side-eye Y'golonac)
(C) Y'golonac does the guilty whistle!

Y'golonac: Ahem. We tried hard for y'all.
Perun: Heh. Tomorrow's stamp rally will blow today out of the water.
Y'golonac: Now now, I helped them out a lot today too.
Shino and Tetsugyuu notice MC is back!
Shino: MC! You came to see my glorious triumph! Might you come closer?
Tetsugyuu: Boss, come whoop it up here with me!
A bunch of mobs carry MC over to the stage!
MC: wait WHAT / Yeaaaah! / Noooo~
Perun: What, how DARE
Shino: Silence, loser! WE won!

Suddenly, help arrives!
Sarutahiko: Hold up, something is wrong with these guys!
Bael: Yes you two won, but that doesn't give you the right of free rein!
Sarutahiko and Bael block the way!
Tetsugyuu: Move or I'll kill ya, Sarutahiko!
Sarutahiko: What, you ain't like that! ...mostly?
Bael: I see we must open your eyes by force. Barong, help me!
Barong: Eh, this is fine isn't it?
MC: NO??? / I guess / HELP
---
(AC) Barong: Oh okay, I'll help then.
(B) Barong: See? No problems then.
Sarutahiko and Bael: YES THERE IS
Barong: What? Are you guys jeal--
Bael: SHUT UP AND HELP! This is going to bother the customers!
Barong: Hmm, makes sense. Okay, I'm in!
---
Shino: Ah, so you want to die then?
Tetsugyuu: Boss, we gonna kill sum dicks!
Perun: ...heh.
MC: Huh, you're less bothered by this than I figured you'd be. / (stare)
Perun: I do not sing for just anyone, but I might if it's just you. (starts singing) Hear this peerless love song!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Shino: Uh, what were we doing?
Battle over, Shino and Tetsugyuu are sane again.
Tetsugyuu: Ayo? Sarutahiko, why are you sitting on the floor?
Sarutahiko: Dude you were swinging your ax at me! At least you're sane again...
Y'golonac: Nice, you two are back to normal!
Bael and Tsukuyomi grab Y'golonac by the ears!
Bael: So! Care to explain what happened to them?
Tsukuyomi: You aren't going to use the five year old's argument of "well they aren't customers," are you?
Y'golonac: N-no? My Mental Corruption ain't sumthin' you just slap outta someone. Also YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING
Shino and Tetsugyuu seem confused.

Bael: Okay just to remind you, your power is dangerous. If I see you using it casually, I will arrest you.
Tsukuyomi: Bael? Are you--
Bael walks off. Tsukuyomi seems to get it, sighs, then calls Shino and Tetsugyuu over.
Y'golonac: (bonked) OW
Shino:(bonked) OW
Tetsugyuu: (bonked) OW what was that for!?
Tsukuyomi: Okay it's good this didn't blow up too bad, but it could've been serious.
Shino: Wait, this was my idea. Well I know I wasn't disciplined enough but that feeling of desires being released--
Shino looks off to the distance. Everyone gets it.
Tetsugyuu: Felt good though!
Tsukuyomi: Oh you two. Well get up there, the people are waiting. And wow I really suck at managing people.
Y'golonac: Well I like that part of ya.
Tsukuyomi: !!
Tsukuyomi: You can be so cocky. But thanks.

Later
Tetsugyuu: Okay sorry about that, peeps. Let's get to singing!
Shino: MC, please forgive our forcefulness earlier. Also, would you sing with me? I've sung in front of an audience, so.
MC: Okay / Fiiiine / No I suck too!
---
(C) Tetsugyuu: Aww, too bad. I'll sing with you Shino!
Shino: At least stay nearby please, MC!
MC: oh well okay then!
---
Shino: ...okay. I'm going to sing about the Hakkenshi now!
MC: what
Cheering crowd! And one shifty guy.
Perun: Hmph. So one must be seen by the commoners to make an impression.
Y'golonac: Bro what are you plottin'?
Perun: Ah, Y'golonac. Come help me with my project.
Y'golonac: Meeeh. Can I just not?
Perun: Oh okay I'll ditch all my plans and take MC then.
Y'golonac: Oh FIIIINE I'll hear ya out at least.

Next day
Even bigger crowds!
Rando A: Last stop for the stamp rally! What's the emperor host gonna give us?
Rando B: Wow, this is the same place Gabriel went too!
Sooo many people.
Rando C: All the stamp rally places were cool!
Perun: Of course! Now which one was the best?
Rando C: Uhh...the VR game? The musical?
Perun: !?
Perun: Hmm, I misheard you. Which. Was. The best? (lifts Rando C's chin)
Rando C: Umm, you? Oh wait will you step on me if I say something else?
Perun: How...transparent of you. I can do so, but which is it?
Rando C: I'm sorry, it's you!
Perun: Ha, I knew you'd say that. Hold out your glass and I will reward you by pouring you a drink!
So many bottles being poured. Perun's pretty much winning today.
MC: Wow, it worked! / He's motivated today / OMG he's actually serving drinks!

Y'golonac: Gwehehe, hey MC? Noticed how Perun changed? Feels like he finally at the startin' point.
MC: You had to train him last night huh? / Wow, he did. / Must've been rough.
Y'golonac: Bro 'pparently wanted to go for Number 1 and sing after seein' Shino and Tetsugyuu up there last night. He been practicin' singin...sumthin' or other. Called it a poetry readin', wanted to read to you.
Applause from Perun's table!
Rando D: I finished the stamp rally, Perun!
Perun: Well that was fast. Kneel before me!
Perun makes Rando D sit and pours one out for them.
Perun: Well done indeed!
Perun looks for MC and walks over.
Perun: Come over and get on the mic with me!
MC: but why tho / Okay! / man I'm so popular
(A) Perun: The set's incomplete without you. Don't think you'll get away.

Perun: I'm going to pick a new song today.
MC: did you even sleep last night / no bragging songs / huh, okay
---
(A) Perun: What kind of pleb do you take me for? I am extremely bus--(yawn)
(B) Perun: I'm not that much of a one-trick pony. I have just the thing!
---
Perun turns on the karaoke machine.
MC: (a the-one-that-got-away song?) / (a song about being tied down?) / (it's Perun's brag track)
---
(C) Perun: Oh, wrong one!
---
Perun: Here, a pop song about love. Perfect for summer.
Perun drags MC up on stage.
Perun: Hear my words and rejoice, peons!
Randos: Yaaay, Perun!
Cheering! Perun looks at MC and whispers.
Perun: I will only sing this song once. As emperor, I must take everything! Now, sing with me!
And so the song begins as the day comes to an end.
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 5 Part 1 (Abridged)

Y'golonac: WHAT
Hey it's almost been a week of summer host shenanigans.
Ophion: I said we got the project sales ranking yesterday and ours is nowhere near the top.
Y'golonac: But we been tryin' so hard! I know it's weird o' me to be sayin' so!
Ophion: I know. Which is why I also said not to worry about it.
Analysis time!
Ophion: We're doing better than expected in sales with the competitive team service, and I'll agree with Tsukuyomi you have great management skills. You've all grown, and we simply just aren't in first. That's it. We can just keep going as is with doing our best. On that note, my WIIIIFE looks amazing as a host! Be proud of that!
Ophion leaves Y'golonac to frown and goes to MC.

Y'golonac: ...how come we go so hard and still ain't number one in this thing? 'specially after Sarutahiko did his turnaround for all us.
Perun (offscreen): Hmph. That makes it sounds like we've hit a ceiling.
Suddenly Perun's next to Y'golonac, arms folded!
Y'golonac: Oh, it's you. Mind not tellin' e'ryone else yet? Gotta keep morale up and all...
Perun: Coward.
No denials, but also no acceptance.
Perun: Okay fine, but only if I get some carte blanche to act. My time has finally come!
Y'golonac: You WHAT
Flashback!
Perun: Okay so that clown MC was...
Yellow: Um, that's nice but I also wanna hear more about you, Sir!
Perun: I'm getting to the good part!
And so Perun keeps talking until closing time.
Yellow: check please

Present
Y'golonac: How did ya fumble that so BAD?
Perun: ...pffft. An emperor has little to say about themselves.
Y'golonac: Excuse me, what? And that ain't even the only problem! Ya take forever to sing when someone orders a champagne tower, ya won't let customers leave in the middle, and they aren't even real songs! How in HELL didja come up with over ten songs with the only lyrics bein' "Perun" and "la la la"!? Have you been brainwashin' these poor folks ta make them babble like crazies!?
Perun: Wellll, I may have done a little psych imprinting. If Barong has dancing, I have faith invasion!
Perun sees absolutely nothing wrong with this. Y'golonac sighs.
Perun: You seem to be holding back for some reason, but this is war. The host with the most faith won from customers wins and everyone else is a loser who can freeze in the snow telling themselves "I could have made it!"
Y'golonac: (Okay so I did something like he did before, but hmm...)
Perun: Never fear, I shall lead you to victory! And when I do, how about you give me the management position and the right to be MC's roommate?
Y'golonac: WHAT
Perun: Ha! No coward can win against an emperor who conquers and takes by force! If you don't like it, show me how you got to be Kabukicho's Number 2, haha!
Y'golonac: ...but I wanna be number one with everyone here.

Later
Perun: The time has come for ME to lead with the tomfoolery!
He's certainly in a good mood as he stands in the sun.
Bael: Not so fast, Perun. I must step in to stop any illegal abuse of magical powers with my super high school level prosecution skills.
Perun: Oh? You're going to stop me?
Bael: Oh the police are with me. They'll be here soon.
Perun: They will, will they? Oh right, you guys have an ulterior motive for being here. We Invaders know with our espionage skills!
Bael: Go ahead, tell everyone and ruin the summer host program. I wonder what MC might think of you doing that?
Staring contest! Perun blinks first.
Perun: Fine, I'll play along more with the host shenanigans.
Bael: wait where are you going

Later
Ophion: WIIIIFE! Call me "dear" or "husband!"
MC: (indulge him) / (regular customer treatment) / (ignore)
---
(A) Ophion: Yessss, I shall hold you close.
(B) Ophion: This is fine too.
(C) Ophion: You're the only one who can play these games with me. I'll make you look at me!
---
Ophion tries to pull MC in! He misses!
Perun: MINE! Now, to conquest!
The other hosts are surprised!
Ophion: Hands off, my WIIIIFE is MINE!
Y'golonac: Oh my god Perun what are you DOING
Perun: I changed my mind like a good whimsical tyrant and decided to do something more fun! Oh, I'll still lead you to victory. I'm just taking my prize upfront!
MC: HELP / well okay then / (FLAIL SO HARD)
Y'golonac: But it's almost opening time, where you goin'!?
Perun: We're bailing for the day. Bye! (runs out with MC)

Beach Mall
Perun: Okay they shouldn't bother coming this far away from work.
MC: Why ARE we here?
Perun: Leading those fools to victory! You expected me to accept a loss? Now then, what do we need to bring up our situation?
MC: Hmm...
Perun: Hostile takeovers! Monopolize the competition! ...well we need not go so far for this. We just need to make some other point of contact.
Perun and MC walk over to...
Arachne: Oh, MC? You here to see my new swimsuit?
Gyumao: Hey, beach star! I was thinking of visiting soon!
Perun: Ha, rejoice in my decision to personally visit you!
Gyumao: A business proposal, right? Sorry, you need an appointment for--
Perun flaps some flyer at Gyumao.
Gyumao: ...a stamp rally?
MC: a what now / you made Volkh make that didn't you? / OMG an actual plan!?
Perun: Now let us do the dramatic wipe away so I can give you the details offscreen!

Beach Host Club
Y'golonac is trying to stop Shino and Tetsugyuu.
Shino: We're supposed to be MC's bodyguards, so we must go.
Y'golonac: But we need y'all to keep the bar open!
Tetsugyuu: What's Perun's big idea anyway?
Y'golonac: Uh...
One explanation later
Shino: ...Perun's taking MC if he makes the summer host project the number one winner? I should cut your head off for this!
Y'golonac: I know, but dude's the toughest of us! He could stomp us all and just take MC if he felt like!
Shino: Urgh...
Y'golonac: He playin' along with us so we gonna handle it somehow. And he said he make us number one, and he can't be blowin' smoke up our asses. Maybe his power like mine, sorta.
Tetsugyuu: So we SHOULD go over and steal Boss back?
Shino: OR we can win this without him! What else can we do? Plus you just said you had a power like his, Y'golonac!

Elsewhere
Perun: Haha, get behind me MC!
Pichun!
Enigma: You are dead. Please come again.
Perun: WHAT
MC: But this is a video game. But if Enigma is here...
Turing: Good day, love! Enjoying my Edo VR game?
Tsathoggua: Hi MC, want to go get honey sweets together?
Perun: Ah yes, the managers. Rejoice, for I have a proposition!
One stamp rally explanation later
Turing: Hmm, cross promotion to bring in and share customers and boost rankings?
Tsathoggua: And you've already spoken to a lot of people.
Perun's gone to Ifrit and the band too offscreen.

Perun: We accept you, one of us! Join us!
Turing: Sorry, our sponsor's not that interested in sales.
Tsathhoggua stopped paying attention and is playing with Enigma.
Tsathoggua: Hakumen put me up to this, so I figured I'd work with Turing for a video game. I'm not working any harder than this.
Turing: But thanks for coming!
Pichun!
Tsathoggua: Dang that was frame perfect of you.
Enigma: I'm impressed you held up so well against an AI like me.
MC: Whoa! / aimbot too OP pls nerf / Perun let's just go
Perun thinks.
Perun: ...what if I have my school make the best quality honey sweet for you?
Tsathoggua: I'M IN
Perun: Yessss, market dominance!
MC: Really? / this is just bribery / I want some too!
Perun: Okay, one last stop to get to!

Back at the beach host club
Shino: I accept your love! Behold my doggy tricks!
Shino used to deal one on one, but now he's juggling multiple customers at once! Something's up.
Bael: S-Shino are you okay?
Shino: Whatever do you mean, Bano-G? We do what we must to win! So I shall debase myself and bring my customers down with me!
Mobs: YAAAAY
Shino: Ahahaha, I shall win today!
Later
Tetsugyuu: Say it straight, I'm too dumb to get hints.
Mobs: Toast! / Hug! / Belly rub? / Smile for me!
Tetsugyuu: Aww, thanks you guys! I wanna be number one again and pay y'all back! So stick with me until the end!
Super loud cheers!
Barong: Wow, you're motivated today. Keep it up, Tetsugyuu!
Sarutahiko: But bro's suddenly breaking character! This ain't right!
Barong: Whatever makes things more exciting!
Sarutahiko: Uh, feels like they've loosened up tho...
Sarutahiko senses UNCLEANLINESS.

Flashback!
Y'golonac: Boy are you sure!? Mental Corruption kinda makes yer desires blow up ya know.
Shino: I already ruined my dear liege before, and I'll be damned if I let MC be taken by that criminal!
I'll be number one, and t-then MC and I will...I mean I'll protect MC!
Y'golonac: I heard that boy. Then again it doesn't seem too bad so okay. Sheesh, ya change when it comes to MC, heh. You still want this too, Tetsugyuu? Not too late to back out.
Tetsugyuu: I'm just as good as Shino at whatever this is!
Y'golonac: Tsukuyomi told me not to use this but...well he said don't use it on customers so okay...?
Y'golonac has to think on it some more but gives in to Shino and Tetsugyuu's staring.
Y'golonac: Fiiiine, I'll do it. And when ya guys do, y'all gonna work hard for me mkay? Let's get to it!
Shino: Heh. You think you can tame me? I belong to my liege!
Tetsugyuu: I only got one Boss!
Y'golonac: Welp, lessee how Mental Corruption changes y'all or not then!

Ding!
Y'golonac: So! How y'all feelin' now?
Shino: You think this would change me? Hah!
Y'golonac: ...ooh, big boy likes it when I pet him, huh?
Shino: N-no!
He says, tail wagging. Shino notices this.
Y'golonac: Tee hee. You LIKE that, huh? It's okay, cast off your chains o' shame with corruption! Just make the customers happy from the bottom of your heart like a good host!
Tetsugyuu: But I wanna be pet too!
Shino: What are you SAYING!?
Tetsugyuu: W-wait what? huh?
Y'golonac: Welp, good luck out there with the babies!

Present
Y'golonac: oh god I'm so dead if people figure out what I did. Gotta make sure no one snitches...
Tsukuyomi: Hey Y'golonac, you have any idea why Tetsugyuu's acting so weird all of a sudden?
Y'golonac: NUH-UH! NOPE! Nada! No ideas here, nope!
Tsukuyomi: Well that's not suspiciously different of you or anything.
Ring ring!
Perun: HEAR YE HEAR YE, PEASANTS!
Perun's on air throughout all of Odaiba!
End of Episode part

Live A Hero Summer Survival Island Episode 4 (Abridged)

Back to that one beach by Giansar's ruined safehouse because why not
Giansar: (cries in angry hacker)
MC: You okay?
Isaribi: ...give him space, MC. Bro just went nuts and tried jumping into the water after Sharkface, but even I need prep before getting into Monster-infested waters.
Giansar: ...hey I just thought that was the best idea at the time. I was NOT out of my goddamn mind, okay.
Yuhang: Aiyah, you sad Giansar?
Sadayoshi: ...he's a villain, MC. Best pay him no mind, even if he is clearly depressed.
Giansar: NUH-UH! I'm just thinking about how to get out of this mess, like you guys should be too! (sighs) Damn.
Zaniah: Come on now, stop sighing and keep thinking! Time is money and I needs me some space yen!
Giansar: Good god does this girl think of anything else besides money?
Zaniah: WHO SAID MONEY
Giansar: Forget about that you dumb bitch! no wait, deep breaths, calm mind, punch faces later...
MC: Welp.

Sadayoshi: ...well it is true we need alternate escape ideas now.
Yuhang: Yeaaah...
Isaribi: But we NEED a ship to get past the currents.
MC: So we have to fix Giansar's / Any other ships?
---
(B) Giansar: No. Obviously, sheesh.
---
Giansar: Well quick look, the only damage was the engine loss. If we're fixing it, we gotta get it back and any other usable salvage.
Yuhang: The same engine the shark ate? What if we take too long and it won't come back if we beat the thing?
Giansar: Yeah...I guess we have until some time tomorrow at most.
Isaribi: So we're stuck on a hope and a prayer?
Sadayoshi: Perhaps, but we still need to focus on our safety. Retrieving the engine is pointless if we get incapacitated.
MC: Survival time, huh? This could be...tricky.

Sadayoshi nods. Giansar also agrees in his sulky, arms crossed way.
Giansar: Ugh, yeah. We'll need to find food and water before sundown. And ship parts. If we can't finish fixing things before nightfall, we'll need shelter too.
MC: Hmm...what about your safehouse?
Giansar: It burned down.
Isaribi: What? You've been hangin' around here and you don't have any other backups?
Zaniah: Well okay then, splitting up the party work it is. There's six of us here now.
Sadayoshi: ...oh, right.
Sadayoshi looks around and thinks.
Giansar: Then I want to go back to the ship and check on it further, make sure it's not irreparable. I'm more a software techie, but I can at least figure out "working" and "not working."
MC: Damn he just drops a bomb like that? / Nice, Giansar! / Makes sense to me
(A) Giansar: ...heh. Hacking into the VR world was way harder.
(B) Giansar: ...oh shut up. (blushes)

Isaribi: I dunno much about machines...
Yuhang: It's cool, we got a techie to handle it!
Sadayoshi is displeased.
Sadayoshi: I can't trust a villain. What if they run or attack us while we're split?
Giansar: (eyebrow twitch) Yeah yeah you don't like me, got it. Just don't make getting out of here harder.
Sadayoshi: ...as a soldier I must do everything I can to protect civilians. That includes being on guard against villains.
Zaniah: ...wait, you're military?
Giansar: Hey welcome to Muirauqa IV, you'll notice this ain't Earth. You got no military jurisdiction here.
Sadayoshi: I still have to protect the people I must as best I can. (glances at MC)
Zaniah: Uh-huh. So, not us too, right?
Sadayoshi: ...what?
Zaniah: I hate upper classers.
Zaniah hmphs off. Giansar rolls his eyes at her.
MC: Nooo fighting!

Giansar: ...you'll stop bitching if you're watching me close by, right Sadayoshi? And her.
Zaniah: Excuse YOU, it's Zaniah thank you very much! And I will kick the butts of anyone calling me otherwise, even if you told me you were the king of the universe!
Sadayoshi: ...fair enough. MC, I will go with them. I keep up with my regular training that I should be able to handle any issues.
Sadayoshi's hands grip a little harder.
MC: O-okay cool. I don't think they'll pull anything though. / Isn't that dangerous?
(AB) Giansar: Yeah sure, whatever. I got a ship to check on here.
(C) Giansar: ...you worried about us having our own transformation access? Comms are busted, so if I have to I can loop you guys in. I just wanna get out of here, so I GUESS I can just deal with whatever.

Yuhang: I mean, we're all in the same ship here, so we should work together. They promised they wouldn't run or start anything.
Isaribi: It's cool! We can fight too if we haveta. (flexes)
Yuhang: So, we're the supply subteam?
Isaribi: Oh yeah you're a cook! So I fish and you make something?
Yuhang: Works for me!
Isaribi: MC, how 'bout you help with the food too? Safer than just standin' here.
MC: I can cook / Maybe I can fish too / Firewood gathering, got it!
Sadayoshi approves.

Sadayoshi: Very well then.
Zaniah: Okay, that's settled! Better switch to swimsuits if we're going to be by the beach. Also wouldn't want our regular clothes to get wet again already.
Isaribi: Makes sense.
Giansar: Hmm...Sadayoshi's already in a swimsuit, but what you? (looks at Zaniah)
Zaniah: Yep!
Yuhang: Didn't all your stuff blow up with the ship?
Zaniah: oof don't remind me. But I had it on me at the time you guys were getting on my ship. (pats some pack) Okay, I'll go change. No peeking!
MC: I'll keep watch / I won't / You hear that, Giansar?
(A) Zaniah: ...cool. But you don't get to peek either unless you're giving me all your cash.
(C) Giansar: What the HELL, I'm not gonna look!

Later
Zaniah's changed into her SUPER SKIMPY swimsuit!
Zaniah: Bam! How do I look? I was gonna strut around town with this since my family gave it to me, but you know, here we are.
MC: Nice / Ooh / OMG???
---
(AB) Zaniah: So you DO have taste. Ohohoho!
(C) Zaniah: A-are you making fun of me? Hand over your wallet! (blushes)
---
Isaribi: Okay so lots of people walk around in swimsuits at Este Bolta, but is that the in thing now?
Sadayoshi: Hmm. It IS much clearer whether or not you're hiding weapons in that swimsuit.
Zaniah: Is that how you speak to a lady? Or anyone for that matter...?

Giansar comes out in his swimsuit too.
Giansar: Are you guys ready yet? We got a Monster to find before it retgones my engine for good.
MC: Why do you have a swimsuit!? / Cool swimsuit / Hot
---
(AB) Giansar: ...hello, deserted island in the middle of nowhere here. Why wouldn't I pack a swimsuit? God.
(C) Giansar: WHAT? A-are you making fun of me!? Ass...
---
Yuhang: Hey Isaribi, I think you'd look good if you had a swimsuit like them.
Isaribi: Hmm. I don't really need one, but the exhibitionism...do they have ones my size?
Giansar: Stop horsing around and get going already. MC, if you see that one damn shark, call us and come back.
MC: Right.
Giansar nods.
Isaribi: Cool. Time to split up!
Zaniah: Food and treasure collecting operation, go!
Yuhang: I'm gonna find the best food ever!
MC: (watch Giansar's subteam go) / (go on with Yuhang and Isaribi)
[Choice determines which section plays first]

Title Card: In a Place with Nothing

Right, the party's split up.
[Giansar's Mat Subteam]
Giansar, Zaniah, and Sadayoshi go check on the ship.
Zaniah: Treasure hunt, treasure hunt!
Giansar: Girl, do you realize what kinda jam we're in here?
Sadayoshi: This is supposed to be serious.
Zaniah: Yeah yeah, I know. Sheesh, stop looking at me like that! (looks around)
Sadayoshi: You honestly expect to find treasure around here?
Zaniah: Sunken treasure! ...oops, nevermind me.
Giansar: What. What does that even mean?
Giansar has doubts. So does Sadayoshi.

Zaniah: Oh come on...okay fiiiine, I'll tell you. So I'm a phantom thief, right? So I go for treasure, obviously.
Sadayoshi: Mhm...and how do you know there's sunken treasure here?
Zaniah: Uhh... Someone told me. They said there's super valuable old civilization tech in Muirauqa IV's oceans somewhere! Probably! Might be worth something if I get it!
Giansar: Annnnd you were gonna dive for them in that swimsuit? THAT swimsuit? I woulda said you came to party.
Zaniah: Well there was that too. Figured I'd schmooze around town for more info first. Heard it's past the Dead Zone, so this isn't that bad a start.
Sadayoshi: I see. Petty thievery then.
Zaniah: Okay so that isn't wrong but STILL. What if I get finder's fees and stuff for finding lost tech!? And hey, maybe lost tech could help us fix the ship and get out.

Giansar: ...I guess that makes some kinda sense. I don't care about any treasure, but maybe we'll find some old power cell or something like that.
Sadayoshi: ...well okay then. So Miss Phantom Thief--
Zaniah: That's ZANIAH to you, thank you!
Sadayoshi: ...Zaniah. You and Giansar stay within my sight.
Zaniah: Fiiiine, OfFiCeR. I wasn't going to be sneaky or anything. Though you seem oddly harsh on villains for a soldier. Who hurt you?
Sadayoshi: ...villains are evil. I was taught to fight against them and Monsters as a hero.
Giansar: Pffft. (looks at ocean) Let's check the shallows, near that stone pillar. We should focus on places that might have useful stuff, whatever turns up.
Zaniah: Sounds good to me! Sadayoshi, can you swim?
Sadayoshi: I will not be questioned on my swimming skills by someone who almost drowned.
Zaniah: Hey, that was an emergency earlier! ...oh wait, shiny! What kind of shiny will we get!?
Giansar: ...this party setup may have been a mistake.

Subteam Giansar starts collecting random parts.
Zaniah: ...aww, all junk so far.
Giansar: Ugh. Nothing usable.
Sadayoshi: (Giansar shows no signs of attacking. He can use his illegal net connection to transform but isn't for now? Zaniah's looking for valuables but otherwise isn't being suspicious...villains they may be, but I don't sense an--)
Sadayoshi: OW
Some crab pinched Sadayoshi's tail!
Zaniah: HA HA. Aww, wook at the widdle hewo all--OW
Well well well. Some crab pinched Zaniah's tail too!
Giansar: What the hell guys... oh, crabs? I guess they're edible. Well we need food so we should take them back to Yu--
Sadayoshi: You set attack crabs on me, didn't you!? I KNEW I couldn't trust you!
Giansar: How the hell did you come to that idea!?
Sadayoshi: (grabs the crab and throws it at sea) Away with you!
Giansar: What did you do that for!?
Sadayoshi: It's a rainbow shelled crab. It MUST be poisonous!
Zaniah: Giansar, how DARE you do this to my tail! Get his tail this time, Crab B!
Giansar: You stay back! What the fu--
Distant screaming!
Giansar: W-wait what
[Go see the other subteam's section if you haven't already]

[Isaribi's Food Subteam]
Fishing and foraging time!
Yuhang: Yay, let's do this! Survivalism can be fun.
MC: Might as well enjoy ourselves! / damn, so optimistic / Yay!
The subteam took Isaribi's advice to go somewhere with lots of fish.
Isaribi: Ooh, this place looks good!
Yuhang: Awesome!
Isaribi: I'm up first! Been a while since I did it this way, but here goes!
Isaribi starts stripping off!
MC: WHAT / so bold / ooh, beefy!
(AB) Isaribi: O-oh, right. Sorry 'bout that.
(C) Isaribi: You like that? Go on, feel it!

Isaribi: Well I gotta get drag down and I don't have a nice swimsuit like you apparently have, so oh well. *(strips off)* There! Skin diving ain't that bad.
MC: where did you even keep all that / wow, so much stuff! / big man!
---
(AB) Isaribi: Yeah, this is my backup gear. Super easy to keep with me!
(C) Isaribi: Makes things easier! Feels a little funny, but take a good look!
---
Yuhang: Ooh, can I go diving too?
Isaribi: I mean, if you want? I was gonna bring you the fish.
Yuhang: I wanna check out the food myself! And I'll be with you so I'll be okay.
Isaribi: Okay cool! MC, you wanna come too? You should change if you do.
MC: Nah / Okay!
MC turns to look at Yuhang.
Yuhang: (swimsuited up!) I'm good to go!
MC: Already!? / Nice and simple / Whoa!
---
(A) Yuhang: Eh, I just shucked off my clothes. Anything for good stuff!
(B) Yuhang: I just picked whatever since I didn't plan to swim. Let's go!
(C) Yuhang: Hehe, maybe I'm hotter than I thought? Thanks.
---
Isaribi: Let's go, guys!
Yuhang: Yeah!
MC: Woo!

And so Isaribi goes spear fishing while MC collects seaweed and shellfish. Later...
Isaribi: Got another one! MC, take this barrel while I go check the net! We eatin' GOOD tonight! Also where's Yuhang?
MC: Got it! And Yuhang is...
MC looks over close by where Yuhang pops up from the water.
Yuhang: Aiyaaah, guys come look at this! I found a HUGE clam! Oyster! Something! I should taste test it later!
It's a giant bivalve that Yuhang needs both hands to hold!
Isaribi: Nice, I ain't seen one that big before! Make it with the fish I caught!
Yuhang: Cool! One sec...
Yuhang tries REALLY HARD to open the shellfish! ...he fails.
Yuhang: Man I can't even see a crack to stick a knife or something in this thing...dammit, let me eat you!
Isaribi: Eh, we got enough for today! I hope the other guys found somethin', but we oughta make it with the six o' us...oh.
Isaribi seems to remember something. Yuhang is still trying to crack that giant clam or whatever.
Yuhang: Come onnnn!
Isaribi: Hey you remember those two weirdos who said they were Zaniah's fam?
MC: Ah yes, the totally not suspiciously named Fans 1 and 2.
Isaribi: You think they're okay?
Yuhang: They told...us not to...tell her...OPEN ALREADYYY
Isaribi: Maybe we actually should tell her they're here.
EEEEVILLLL
MC: Isaribi, get away from there!
Shark Monster!
Isaribi: W-what!?
[Go see the other section if you haven't]

Party regroup time!
Sadayoshi: MC, what happened!?
Yuhang: Oh hey guys! Help! Shark Monster just pulled up! Maybe it ate the engine?
Giansar: Convenient for us if it did. MC, transform us.
click
Zaniah: Good, I was getting bored of all this water!
Sadayoshi: MC, your orders.
Giansar: Yeah, let's make this quick. Show me what you got, MC.
BATTLE START (more happens after)

That night...
Sadayoshi: MC, we have a sleeping area ready now. Unfortunately we couldn't recover the engine...
MC: Thanks, Colonel! / Bummer...
Sadayoshi: (leads MC by the hand) ...thank you. For now, you should rest. Isaribi and Yuhang have made something, smells nice.
Yuhang's dishing something out of his wok onto a leaf.
Isaribi: Oh hey guys, sit down! We just got done!
Zaniah: Ooh!
Giansar: Ugggh. Well, gotta eat. We're diving for that engine tomorrow since it sunk.
So the shark Monster tried to run before it died, but Isaribi killed it! It still got off shore a little and it got late, so engine retrieval's been postponed.
MC: Ooh, nice! This is way fancier than I'd expect in this situation.

Dinner's served! MC is interested.
Yuhang: Haha...too bad I couldn't crack the big one. (stares at giant clam or whatever) Not even my knives worked...I'll get you tomorrow! Whatever, we still got fish meuniere, soup, and fruity nut shellfish stir fry!
Isaribi: I made sashimi! And MC found some spice we can probably try!
Yuhang: And plenty for seconds!
Zaniah: Well don't mind if I start!
Zaniah grabs something.
Zaniah: It burns! But it burns so good!
Giansar: ...wait damn this actually isn't half bad.
MC: It's awesome! I've never had this before!

Sadayoshi: Thank you, Yuhang. You could make anything. I've grilled meat and fish in training, but I've never done real cooking before.
Yuhang: Xiexie! All I've got for now is throwing it all together though. I'm best at Taiwanese food, but I've been touring other planets and places for food too.
Yuhang sees empty leaf-plates and heats his wok up again.
Zaniah: Oh, so you're in training?
Isaribi: I can teach ya Muirauqa IV's local cuisine if you want!
Yuhang: Ooh, thanks! And I'm sorta training. I grew up in a refugee camp and the relief cook from wherever made super awesome food! Now I'm looking for the taste of happiness.
Sadayoshi: Are you looking for that cook then?
Yuhang: I'm down for that too, but I'm more focused on flavors.
Sizzling wok! Yuhang is getting nostalgic.

Yuhang: ...I was starving to near death back then, so I don't remember much, but I cried SO HARD the second I got to eat! Everyone was happy then, and maybe I just wanna see that again.
Yuhang keeps cooking. Zaniah stops eating to look at him.
Zaniah: ...oh. You a refugee too, huh? ...and here you are, trying to make people happy with your cooking. (frowns)
Isaribi: The taste of happiness, eh? Sounds cool! I'll help however I can!
Yuhang: Thanks! I'm winging it there.
Giansar: ...wait, is that why you're a hero? Why not just be a regular ass chef? ...why hold up a memory of almost starving?
Giansar looks away.
Yuhang: I mean, that makes sense?
Giansar looks mad.
Yuhang: Hey what do you think Monsters taste like? I think I'm a hero so I can find out!
MC: Damn, you'll eat anything / yeaaah no / But they poof into smoke and light and everything
Yuhang: I tried to catch one to eat but then it got me instead! Big oof, man.
Giansar: ...you crazy.
Sadayoshi: Are you really one to judge?
Yuhang: Watch me make it happen! But anyways, seconds are up!
And so Day 1 of Impromptu Space Survivor ends.
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 4 Part 3 (Abridged)

The next day.
Rando A: Hey have you heard? Has anyone told you? The Fabulous Summer Host club is doing another event! But the club's reviews are bombing so I'm unsure about going even if it's for Shino.
Rando B: Let's go anyway! Might be fun to mix things up.
Lots of people are coming because they heard "special event!"
Hei Long Yi Quan: Wow, Sarutahiko! I'm gonna use my influencer status to turn attention your way!
Flashback!
HLYQ: Life's full of stuff you can't do anything about...
Sarutahiko: Hei Long Yi Quan, I need your help! And your star power! I'll pay later after it works!
Later on
HLYQ: Heyo! Since you're asking me to edit, you okay with letting me fill in the video's subject matter?
Sarutahiko: Sure!

Present
Shino: Hello. I've missed you.
Rando B: OMG Shino???
Shino: What? I was thinking I wouldn't see you anymore.
Rando B: NO I NEED YOU MASTER SHINO, I'LL BUY ALL THE DRINKS
Shino: ...just Shino is fine. Call me that, please.
Rando B: EEEEE
Elsewhere in the bar
Y'golonac: Hey baby, thanks for askin' for me again! Today's my turn to make YOU happy!
Rando A: Um, c-can I call you Y'golly?
Y'golonac: Sure can! Ain't it a bit too cute for someone my age tho?
Rando A: Yaaay!
So much screaming and crying! Happy screaming and crying!
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whoa, what a change!
Bael: Well well, if it isn't you. I heard from Sarutahiko.
HLYQ: Hi! You said this was a shuffle event? Nice!
Bael: Oh you haven't seen everything yet. How about I sit with you until then?

Later
Team Tsukuyomi is in on this shuffle event too.
Barong: Hey kitty. You up for THAT today?
Blue: OH GOD YES I'll try to make you happy!
Barong: Ooh, nice~.
Blue: It's great doing something for you for once.
Barong: Aww! No promises about what happens next.
Blue: GAAAASP!
Switching things up for today!

Tsukuyomi: Isn't this nice?
Y'golonac: Why are ya standin' there smiling by yourself? Think you won already?
Tsukuyomi: Oh hi, don't mind me, business as usual. Game's still up in the air.
Y'golonac: ...ya really sure about helpin' us?
Tsukuyomi: Yep! This does help us too, you know. Plus I told you to not use your power. Go ask for other help all you like. Honestly I was glad when I heard you agreed to Sarutahiko's idea. You take too much on yourself, you can ask your guildmates for help.
Y'golonac: O-oh...
Tsukuyomi: Everyone helps me during the day, and you help so much with the management.
Y'golonac: Y-ya gotta do a little better as the boss about town, Tsukuyomi!
Tsukuyomi: wait is that what we're talking about?
Mermaid A: Hi excuse me Tsukuyomi, is Sarutahiko not in today?
Tsukuyomi: You're that one girl who's a customer of his, right? He's getting ready in the back.
Mermaid: Oh good. So I need to talk about something and...

Later
People are way more excited today than they have all event! So many good vibe reviews!
MC: Problem solved? / Sarutahiko was right / I wish I was a customer!
Perun: HA! He could've just agreed to serve us, but it is good how happy the customers are. You may have whatever you desire, Sarutahiko!
MC: Still uppity I see / Can you actually host like normal? / Are you NOT doing your bossy host thing?
---
(BC) Perun whistles badly. Hmm...
---
Tetsugyuu: (grabs mic) Hey you guys, having fun?! Wondering why I'm in a swimsuit? Hit it, Sarutahiko!
So many bubbles flooding the bar!
Sarutahiko: Hey guys, bubble party! Who wants to sink into my bubbles and love?
SCREAMING AND CRYING MOBS!
Sarutahiko: Love you guys! (looks embarrassed shooting rainbow bubbles)
Perun: WHAT
Tetsugyuu: We got bubble guns for everyone too! Shoot a bubble heart and hit a host, get something Really Nice!
Everyone takes interest. Everyone.
Bael, Perun and Y'golonac: Hmmmm...
MC: (hmm, who to shoot) / this cannot end well / I gotta get out of here!

Y'golonac: Oh noooes, ah just slipped mah fingers tryna shoot mah babies and now I shot at MC!
MC pops the bubble!
Perun: Pffft, you couldn't hit a snowflake in a Kitezh blizzard. Behold the emperor's Imperial Privilege-powered marksmanship!
Y'golonac: Back off bub, MC's MINE
Bubble heart bullet hell time!
MC: OH NO
Y'golonac: MC, you can shoot me if ya want~!
Perun: No, ME!
MC: ...oh whatever! / (shoot at them) / (shoot at customers)
(AC) MC shoots at the customers.
(B) MC misses and the shots go towards the customers.

Bael: Look out! (bodyblocks for a mob) Okay good, it should be ME shooting for your heart, cherie. But oh my, what is this Really Nice something or other you want, MC--
Perun: HA! You haven't been hit at all, Bael!
Y'golonac: Oh no, I wiped off the bubble because I thought ya had sumthin' spill on ya, whoopsies~!
Bael: (wait what, when!?)
Standoff! ...and then truce as the three point bubble guns at MC!
Bael: First to hit MC while evading the customers wins?
Perun: Simple enough. I'll just take you all!
Y'golonac: MC, just take a fall for me already mkay?
MC: Nooo~ / what if I give you all attention later / GODDAMMIT
Bael, Perun and Y'golonac: GET EM
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Sarutahiko: Now what do we have to say for ourselves?
Sarutahiko has Bael, Perun, and Y'golonac doing the Japanese Sitting of Shame.
Sarutahiko: Y'all ever think there might be a reason the customers review bombed you guys?
Perun: Sorry...
Sarutahiko: ...well as long as you get it. Go on, have fun with everyone in the bubble party.
Bubble party's still going on with everyone else.
Shino: S-stop! I am no pet!
Pet bathtime play!
Barong: Love all you guys!
Barong is getting buried in bubbles!
Tsukuyomi: Aww, don't just stand there...you want me to cover you in bubbles? Hmm, maybe I will then.
MC: I think people are starting to forget the goal, but eh, whatever's fun! / SHINO IS MINE

Y'golonac: Meh, fine. I'mma big boy, shoot me all ya like!
Bael: Let's go Perun. We shouldn't let Team Tsukuyomi get ahead again.
Perun: Hmm. Very well. Servants, I permit you to wash me!
Sarutahiko smiles as Team Y'golonac gets back into things.
MC: Thanks, Sarutahiko. Sorry my team's such a pain. / (shoot him)
(AB) Sarutahiko: It's cool. Let's get back in there too!
Just as Sarutahiko turns to go...
(C) Sarutahiko: WHAT? Okay you're in for a bubble gun fight now!
Just when Sarutahiko gets really close...

Tsukuyomi: Order up, three champagne towers for Sarutahiko! Come on over!
Sarutahiko: Holy shit they're huge!
Biggest towers yet.
Mermaid A: Surprise! A gift from all your stans!
All of his regulars are standing by the towers!
Mermaid A: Figured we had to do this when we heard you were helping the other team. We stan that selfless kindness!
Sarutahiko: B-but it ain't that big a deal!
Sarutahiko's fans all yell thanks at him! One of them calls him cute.
Sarutahiko: WHO SAID THAT
Tsukuyomi: Aww, isn't that nice? Your fans saw how hard you worked and now you're number one today. You know what that means, right?

Tsukuyomi gives Sarutahiko a crowned rubber ducky. Sarutahiko steps up.
Sarutahiko: Oh my god thanks guys. I never thought I'd have so much support, seriously.
The fans cheer him on. Gone is the accused, lonely traitor guide.
Sarutahiko: Well shit I might cry. Let's keep bubble partying, cheers!
MC: (toast to him) Cheers!
Y'golonac: Holy shit that tower???
Perun: How DARE you use us!?
Sarutahiko: N-no, that's not--
Bael: I hope you know what's coming.
Sarutahiko: NOOOO
No beatdown comes. Instead, Sarutahiko gets lifted up.
Y'golonac: Heh, naw we ain't doin' that. Congrats!
Barong: Good for you, man!
Perun: Heh. Okay, you managed an impressive takeover. It's not happening again!
Bael: Oh, so we're not dropping him on his head?
Sarutahiko: P-please say psych...
Bael, Perun, and Y'golonac: (stares)
Barong: It's okay, I'll catch you Sarutahiko!
The teams are getting to be closer friends!
Later
Yellow: Aww man, I missed the summer host blame train and now people are shittalking ME!
Someone sneaks up from behind...
Yellow: whomst--wait what are you...AAAAAHH
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 4 Part 2 (Abridged)

Day 5 of the event! Team Tsukuyomi has taken the lead.
Mermaid: Hey Saru it's me again! Look at this!
It's that same mermaid girl who talked to Sarutahiko on Day 1, and she's showing Sarutahiko a pic of her smiling with someone.
Mermaid: I took your advice and now we're friends!
Sarutahiko: Yay for you!
Mermaid: Thanks to you! And you remember our promise?
Sarutahiko promised to talk about his past.
Sarutahiko: Oh, right. Don't tell anyone okay, it's my cringe period.
Flashback!
Bathhouse Boss Oni: Oh you woke up? Stay down, you been beat to hell and back.
Sarutahiko: Piss off old man, nobody asked you for help!
Sarutahiko tries to leave Saru no Yu. Boss Oni grabs him.
Sarutahiko: OW, IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT HURT PEOPLE!?
Bathhouse Boss Oni: Boy, you think you can waste people's work trying to help for free?
Boss Oni writes something in his ledger and shows Sarutahiko something with a lot of zeroes.
Sarutahiko: Bitch, are you ripping me off!?
Bathhouse Boss Oni: What, no money? You can pay in other ways...

Present
Mermaid: Wait, did he make you do THAT!?
Sarutahiko: Old Man worked me sooo hard. But he really knew his stuff and knew how to handle a dude like me. I was a huge bitch but he stayed patient and never gave up on me. And how he talked is how I learned to talk with you, ducky.
Mermaid: Wow, I wish I were there to pick you up back then.
Sarutahiko smiles and thinks about how that would have been a TERRIBLE idea back then. But then, people change. And as a guide, Sarutahiko hopes he can at least guide those around him towards something better.
Mermaid: Oh yeah, how's the other team doing? Reviews are bad.
Mermaid shows Sarutahiko the reviews online. Yeah, they're p bad.
Sarutahiko: (Oof. Wish I could help, but we're competing and I doubt they'd want my help...)
Sarutahiko is thinking. Mermaid waves her hand in his face.
Mermaid: Hellooo in there. Maybe I shouldn't have asked?
Sarutahiko: Oh, sorry. I am pretty worried, but thanks for worrying about me. I'm...just not sure I can go talk to them though...
Mermaid: Come on, you should try to be number one yourself! I want you to get there!
Sarutahiko: ...aw thanks, I'll try.
And then Sarutahiko sees her off and thinks about what she said and how he showed how out of it he was.

Meanwhile...
Y'golonac: WHAT
Y'golonac is looking at reviews. People are harsh on Team Y'golonac and particularly on Y'golonac himself.
Y'golonac: "dude's totally in it for getting faith"? "he ain't got no leadership skill"? "The Foreigner can't even help me get away from reality"!? Get in the car, boys! We gonna find eacha these peeps and goin' on a raid!
MC: NO WAIT STOP / you can do that!? / I'm in
---
(A) Bael: No, we should go about this legally. With lawsuits!
(B) Y'golonac: Heh. I can SMELL spite over da internet!
Bael: Huh. Interesting.
(C) Bael: Stop.
---
Perun: Crush all dissention! Round them all up!
Okay they're mad, but it's pretty clear there's a growing customer popularity gap.
Shino: Stop, or I shall cut you both down.
Bael: ...well well. How bold. MC, we should ignore them all.
Shino: Oh, you wanted to be first? I'm happy to oblige!
MC: Nooo, we should be working together!
Y'golonac: Maybe we should quit and go home? Expanding business was a bad idea?
Perun: What? Give up and cement our losses?
Y'golonac: But winnin' people back is gonna be hard! Bad reviews spread easier! Not like we got some good news to push all that way.
And then the circular argument starts cycling.

Later
Sarutahiko: uggggh
Barong: Wow, who rained on your parade?
Sarutahiko watched Team Y'golonac fight and Barong noticed Sarutahiko frowning.
Sarutahiko: Oh, uh, it's nothing. Come to think of it, you don't seem to worry about anything huh?
Barong: I guess! Customers say they like that about me.
Sarutahiko: Must be nice. I worry about every little thing.
Barong: But that's what's good about you! You get the little details covered. Thanks for that.
Barong headpats Sarutahiko. Sarutahiko disapproves.
Barong: Why not go help them then?
Sarutahiko: Would they even listen?
Barong: I think it'll be fine. Oh, duty calls!
Sarutahiko: Oh my god, stick it out if you were gonna give me advice!
Barong: You'll be fine. Tell me how it goes, kthnxbai~!
Sarutahiko: ...welp. Guess that's how he's popular as a host.

Sarutahiko heads back to work and hears randos talking.
Mermaid A: Dude, the other team is floundering sooo hard.
Guy B: Inorite? I just bailed on them!
Sarutahiko: Heeey duckies, you shouldn't go talking about the other team when you're with us hehe.
Mermaid A: Oh my god, Sarutahiko! Have you heard? Did anyone tell you?
Welp, subject change failed. The tea was too hot to not talk smack about together, but still...
Sarutahiko: Yeah, I get it with wanting to make comparisons and looking at the bad. But that's exactly why I want you to see the good. Try it on me!
Guy B: Ooh, trying to be like Barong? I'll list everything I can!
And so Guy B starts rattling Sarutahiko's good points off.
Sarutahiko: (...what DO I do with Y'golonac's team?)
Sarutahiko refocuses when he realizes he's drifting. Except there's a commotion happening now.
Bael: Pardon me, Sarutahiko. Do you have a moment?
MC: Hi excuse us / oof we stand out / (wink)
Sarutahiko: !?

Later
Bael: So...we'd like some advice for our team.
Sarutahiko: Huh. I didn't peg you to ever ask for advice.
Bael: Unsurprising. And I believe in the power of collective problem solving.
MC: HEEELP (grabs Sarutahiko's hands)
Sarutahiko: I mean I want to, but what about Perun and Y'golonac?
Bael looks away. Sarutahiko understands.
Sarutahiko: Meh, why not? I've been thinking about it the whole time!
Bael: ...thank you! Any ideas?
Sarutahiko: Nope! I was just thinking you guys are screwed!
Bael: ...MC I think we asked the wrong person for help.
MC: It'll be okay, somehow! / yeah... / Quiet, he'll hear you!

Sarutahiko: I HEARD THAT! But this is still a competition and I won't do some things so...
Bael raises an eyebrow as Sarutahiko whispers something.
Bael: Ah, not a totally terrible idea. Might actually stop the bad rep if it works, except both teams would have to work together. Don't you think that's impossible?
Saruathiko: Yeaaaah...I don't think Y'golonac would ever take Tsukuyomi's help.
Bael: There's also the fact that your plan won't help your team at all. Do you think you can talk them into it? What if they call you a turncoat?
Bael starts right at Sarutahiko. Sarutahiko goes doki-doki!
Sarutahiko: I-I'll do it! I want you guys to do better! And...
Sarutahiko smiles when he thinks about his team.
Sarutahiko: I get the feeling they'll tell me to go for it.
Bael: Uh-huh. You do know we're royally screwed if it doesn't work? Except I agree with you actually.
Sarutahiko: Welp, that means MC needs to talk the rest of your team into it then.
Bael: I'm sure Shino will agree. Perun and Y'golonac will oppose though.
MC: Me!? / Hmm... / I got it!
---
(A) Bael: Why are you surprised? You're closer to them.
---
Bael: Show them the Charisma you've been grinding here so far!
Sarutahiko: Okay this could blow up, but good luck MC!
MC: Right! / no promises

Later
Y'golonac: Co-op with Team Tsukuyomi? Are you freakin' serious??? Why would they even agree!?
Welp.
MC: pleeease? / Think of our position! / (aww...)
---
(A) Y'golonac: Y-y-ya better not think that'll work on me! Look, you got customers! Chop chop!
(B) Y'golonac: But I AM! I'm still Kabukicho's number two host!
---
MC isn't hopeful as they go to Perun next.
Perun: Cooperation? They're going to be our servants? FINALL--wait what do you mean that wasn't it?

Later
MC: No dice.
Bael: Well that was predictable.
Sarutahiko: Wait, maybe I can try!
Bael: How can that possibly go any better?
Sarutahiko: You never know!
Bael: MC, maybe you should debase yourself for this and sell your soul. Would you like to contract with me?
MC: NO / what if I granted your wish? / My soul's worth something?
---
(B) Bael: Hmmmm...
(C) Bael: Oh you sweet summer child.
---
Sarutahiko: At least PRETEND to be supportive! Watch, I'll make our teams work together!

Later
Sarutahiko and Y'golonac are being awkward around each other.
Sarutahiko: (wait what do I even say)
Y'golonac: So like I'm kinda busy here... (distrustful side-eye)
Bael: He didn't have a plan!?
MC: We gotta help Sarutahiko!
Bael: Fiiiine, we can give him a hint. Here, make a cue card.
MC: (write "talk about the weather") / (write "find common ground") / (write "make a joke")
(A) Sarutahiko: (That'll just make things MORE awkward!)
(B) Sarutahiko: (Oh right, thanks!)
(C) Sarutahiko: (Goddammit, no MC!)

Y'golonac: Can I leave yet?
Sarutahiko: Wait! Uhh, I wanna ask you about MC!
Y'golonac: Can't you just go talk to MC instead then?
Sarutahiko: I can't ask them directly! Besides, MC talks about you a lot!
Y'golonac: Really? Awesome, gwehehe!
MC: cringe / LIES / cute
Bael: Quiet, MC! Also, wow Sarutahiko actually found an in.
Y'golonac: And that's how that one time with MC went!
Sarutahiko: Aww man I wish I was there then! But then this one time, at the bathhouse...
MC: OMG STOP / what are they talking about / Sarutahiko, the goal!

Y'golonac: ...so anyways, did Tsukuyomi put ya up to this?
Sarutahiko: UHHH, NO? Naw man, just wanted to be better friends even if we're on different teams, haha...
Y'golonac: Bro you suck bad at this lyin' thing. Maybe I oughta teach ya a lesson...
Y'golonac licks his lips and brings his hand up to Sarutahiko!
Sarutahiko: OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR HAND
MC: No, stooop! / Y'golonac what the hell
---
(AB) Y'golonac: Okay finally ya come out. What the hell were ya doin'?
(C) Y'golonac: That's what I wanna ask you. Seriously what?
---
Sarutahiko: oh god thanks MC
Bael: Y'golonac I assume you've figured as much, but Sarutahiko came to discuss helping us.
Y'golonac: You were SERIOUS!?
Sarutahiko: Well yeah! I mean, the bar as a whole isn't doing good...
Sarutahiko looks sincere.
Y'golonac: ...fine, I guess I can hear ya out.
MC, Sarutahiko, and Bael smile.
Bael: Wow, you actually look much cuter when you open up and be honest Y'go--
Y'golonac: OH GAWD DON'T SAY IT
Sarutahiko: Heh. Sorry to interrupt, but here's the plan...
End of Episode part

 

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 4 Part 1 (Abridged)

Recap!
So the Outlaws are doing a summer host club on the beach of Odaiba! The bar's called the Fabulous Summer Host by the way. Day 1 had Barong winning things for Team Tsukuyomi, Day 2 had Bael winning things for Team Y'golonac with the golem copies. Day 3...?
Tsukuyomi: Hey stars, I shine thanks to you all.
Night King Charisma! Look at all them damn champagne towers he sold! He's ready to cast Essence of Champagne Wave!
Tetsugyuu: Holy shit, you're out of your element and ya still did all that!
Shino: Oh no!
Welp.

Present
Perun: HOW
Y'golonac: Uh, Tsukuyomi saw this comin' somehow. Seems like we gotta use our numbers advantage to get back ahead.
MC: Wow / We can still make it! / We gotta try...!
Perun: Well what are you waiting for, Number 2? Do something!
Y'golonac: B-but I can't use my power...
Bael: Now now, it's only been a day. We can fix this.
Shino: But how...?
Perun: We should use Bael's turnover strategy!
MC: Boo!
Perun: Y'golonac, ideas? You know this thing best!
Y'golonac: Uhhhh, giving out fanbook of revelations pages for every ten visits for repeat customers?

Tsukuyomi is listening in on Team Y'golonac's meeting and looks displeased.
Sarutahiko: Uh, something wrong?
Tsukuyomi: Oh, I was worried Team Y'golonac was going to try something problematic. Kinda reminds me of this one time where I hoped we could be allies.
Sarutahiko doesn't get Tsukuyomi. And so Team Y'golonac DOES try something iffy.
Later
Bug A: ...I've been coming every day but I don't feel so special anymore.
Guy B: I know right? They're getting too focused on their contest when we're paying customers!
This happens sometimes after the contest was announced.
Guy B: The bossy host actually took the lead for me earlier!
Bug A: service sucks, 1/whatever, would not come again. And posted.
Sarutahiko and Tetsugyuu notice the customers leaving!
Tetsugyuu: Damn, are they struggling over there?
Sarutahiko: I guess. It's a reminder we gotta keep focused on our customers.
Tetsugyuu: Did the Night King see this coming? He coulda said something.
Sarutahiko: Who knows what celestials are thinking? But he might've said something earlier?

Sarutahiko and Tetsugyuu go back inside.
Reverse Amanojaku: Sup jackasses, I was about to bail since you took so long!
Qinglong: And for once this morning you kept yelling about wanting to come here.
Reverse Amanojaku: (gasp!)
Amanojaku: Why'd you have to say that, you jerk!?
Sarutahiko: Hey you two. Huh, did I ever say I'd be working as a host here?
Girimekhala: Hotei's been yelling about it everywhere.
Tianzun: Hmm, you boys have been very naughty for keeping a party like this a secret. Verrry naughty.
Sarutahiko: Dammit I forgot to gag him! I bet he thought he was helping!
Sarutahiko looks around worried his other friends are here.

Girimehkala: It's cool, the other Asakusa peeps said they'll come later. We were worried it'd look like a gang war if we all came together.
Sarutahiko: Shit, they're probably right. But why are teachers here too? That's gonna be SO awkward!
Qinglong: Now now, I just wanted to see my students working hard. Oh! Peach juice! Tetsugyuu, a bottle of that please...okay?
Amanojaku: Let's share!
Qinglong: You should pick something you like. They have fruit platters so...ooh, how about this one with a whole peach?
Amanojaku: ...no, you'll let go too much.
Tetsugyuu: Heh, coming right up babe!
Qinglong: Wow it feels so weird being called that.
Sarutahiko: Shaaame! SHAME!
Tianzun: Now now like I always say, sometimes going with the flow is how you win. Come on, Girimekhala! Order something, our treat.
Girimekhala: Really? Cool! Uh, Sarutahiko what's this Bubbly Special whatever?
Sarutahiko: (GASP!)

Sarutahiko: uhhhh...it's a special thing for customers who pick me...
Reverse Amanojaku: Which means you want us to order it right? You DO, huh? RIGHT?
Sarutahiko: Just get a normal drink okay!?
Qinglong: But why? How about I order one since Tianzun pays?
Tianzun: I'm not paying for you.
The Umamichi folk go order Tetsugyuu and Sarutahiko's specials!
Reverse Amanojaku: Hey look, we ordered it! So, whatcha gonna do about it? Make him do it, Girimekhala!
Girimekhala: UHHH
Sarutahiko: GODDAMMIT FINE
Sarutahiko suddenly hugs Girimekhala.
Sarutahiko: Hey ducky, how about you make a toast with me with your trunk?
Girimekhala: O-oh my god???
Sarutahiko kneels a little so he looks up at Girimekhala as he comes in. Girimekhala steps back and slips!
Girimekhala: oop--AAAAAHH (flump)
Sarutahiko: Oh god are you okay!? I'll pull you up!

Some time later, Tsukuyomi walks over.
Tsukuyomi: Hey Barong, Sarutahiko? There's a customer I wanna send to you guys.
Sarutahiko: Okay!
Sometimes customers pick one specific host, and sometimes they shop around.
Hei Long Yi Quan: Wow, it's nice in here again! Well what do you expect with the Night King, eh?
Barong: Welcome kitt--oh hey it's you again.
HLYQ: Hi! Wow you remember me even though I picked the other team last time? Tsukuyomi asked me to come today, and I wanted to come when you guys officially opened. Also the BEL48 thing blew up on the net!
Sarutahiko stares at HLYQ in deja vu until he recognizes him.

Sarutahiko: Holy shit, Barong we gotta talk!
Barong: What?
Sarutahiko: That's Hei Long Yi Quan! He's a huge influencer! Tsukuyomi's gonna have our asses if we mess this up!
Tsukuyomi notices Sarutahiko looking at him and winks.
Sarutahiko: This is a huge--wait Barong where'd you go
Barong: Hey kitty, nice bod. Wanna dance with me?
HLYQ: Ooh, nice. But next time! I'd derail the video if I did.
Sarutahiko: GODDAMMIT BARONG
Barong: What? He's still a customer, influencer or whatever.
HLYQ catches Sarutahiko's eyes and starts putting on a voice.
HLYQ: Hey, you're...Sarutahiko? Can we talk? Pleeease?
Sarutahiko: Uhhhh okay?
Sarutahiko sighs and thinks about what Barong said.
Sarutahiko: Welcome! Mind if I call you ducky?
HLYQ: Sure! I call everyone in chat Master, so that's about the same thing.
Sarutahiko: Okay, hold out your glass while I pour you a welcome drink.

And so Sarutahiko and Hei Long Yi Quan have a talk and drink. Nice times.
HLYQ: Thanks guys, I had fun!
Barong: I'm glad you look so happy!
Sarutahiko: Are you going to go ask for Tsukuyomi and Tetsugyuu next? They'll be opening new tables soon.
HLYQ: Ooh, slick! But sorry, I'm scheduled for the bossy host next.
Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko Doomer Vision activate!
HLYQ: So I tried the bossy host and he's good if you're into that!
Chat: "Yeah!" "he sucks" "I want HLYQ" "okay captain obvious" "i'm out bruh"
Present
Sarutahiko: (oh god that could happen)
Sarutahiko Memory Trigger!
Takamagahara Peeps: "TRAITOR" "shaaame" "what a JERK"
Bathhouse Customers: "oh my god a punk" "freaky" "I'm taking my business elsewhere!"

Present
Sarutahiko: Uh, how about you pick me again? I wanna talk some more.
Sarutahiko slips character for a second.
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whoa! I shouldn't stay with one person for too long though, so how about we play Tug A Yi Quan?
Barong: Oh my god Sarutahiko, you can't just stop customers from going around!
Sarutahiko falters from self-aware possible overthinking, but his Insight says he has to stop him!
Sarutahiko: Pleeease, ducky?
HLYQ has an idea.
HLYQ: How about we have a dance off for my video then? If you get the most Likes/tips, then I'll go with you again.
Barong and Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko: Stacking the deck much with a dancer here!?
HLYQ: Well I'm no dancer either. So you in or out?
Sarutahiko: ...okay fine! Dammit, I shoulda got more dance tips from Barong!
Sarutahiko gives a "throw me a bone" look to Barong.
Barong: Uh, what? Anyways, I'm going all out!
Sarutahiko: Oh FML! FIIIINE, I just have to win, right!?
HLYQ: Why not go for do better? Hey chat, here comes our Beasty Boys Gone Wild time!
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)

The customers are going wild over the three-way dance off! Obviously Barong is doing the best. Sarutahiko is fighting for his life, and Hei Long Yi Quan...
HLYQ: Oh nooo, I tripped again~. Guys, pick me up? ^3-
Randos: OMG WE STAN
Barong: Whoa, this is a whole new dimension of excited in here!
HLYQ: Well it's the difference between your normal stage and having multiple cameras. And I'm a pro at working those clever, innocent, and flirty angles!
Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko: ...right, no need to compete the same ways.
HLYQ: You guys are great! I think I'm gonna get a whole new world of fans! Thanks for going with my surprise video performance, I'll pick you next time Sarutahiko! (hands Sarutahiko a ton of tips and heads over to the other team)
Barong: Nice he likes you, whoever he is!
Sarutahiko: Uh, I didn't really want customers or tips tho.

Later
Hei Long Yi Quan: ...oh, you came to walk me over? Did you want to be my Master too? ...kidding.
Sarutahiko is surprised!
HLYQ: I bet you're worried about the other host team that's been getting talked about. It's alright! Everyone worries about getting blasted in reviews and stuff, but at least I won't. But why are you asking me this now?
Sarutahiko: What? We're on different teams, but they're still basically my coworkers.
HLYQ: Oh. But weren't you worried about getting review bombed for trying to stop me?
Sarutahiko: oof okay that was wrong of me but I didn't think that far!
HLYQ: Hehe, sorry about teasing you. But you know what? No one knows how things might turn out tomorrow. You might end up being the sole survivor of a shipwreck. Ask me how I know.
Sarutahiko: !!
HLYQ's phone rings. Streamer friend message alert!
End of Episode part