Fortune Rabbit New Years 2023 Episode 3 (Abridged)

Flashback!
Inaba: ...Lord Onamuji, why did you help me?
Onamuji: Hmm, how do I even answer that
Inaba: I know I got what was coming to me. You could have left me alone, so why?
Yeah the story could've ended there.
Onamuji: ...since some people may agree with that, there can be people who disagree with that.
Inaba: what?
Onamuji: I don't need to act the same as anyone else, that's all. If things go bad the first time, do better the next. And us meeting here was our fate.
Inaba (narrating): And then he left.

The sounds of waves come, unchanging since that day. On the sands, Inaba. In the waves, the shark.
Inaba: I wonder if Lord Onamuji made it okay. I can only pray so, but what should I do? Would you take me, Sharkie? Maybe he's lonely...in which case, I can help!
Shark: (excited shark noises)
Inaba: You'll help? Even after what I did?
Shark: Bark!
Inaba: Thanks! He's the reason we could make up! Let's go to...wherever it is he is!
Inaba jumps like he's counting sharks again. The rabbit's shadow continues projecting on the sea reflection of the moon day and night, here, there, and everywhere. And then one day...the rainbow light reached the sea. Inaba jumps over off the sharks' backs, and one goes with him as a friend to an unknown land, the wonderful world of Tokyo...

Present
Daikoku: I'LL NEVER GET BUSTED HERE
Benten: Why the hell isn't Daikoku actually leaving?
This wacky chase has been going on for a while, but Daikoku never actually ran outside the shrine.
MC: I wonder if there's a reason for that...?
Hotei: Y'all, how many times have we run in circles!?
Ebisu: Benten, maybe we should try our artifacts again.
Benten: He'll just see that coming if we don't mix it up!
Ebisu: T-then what do we do?
Hotei: We'd just be comedians without our artifacts! SOMEBODY WORK WITH ME HERE!
Inaba: W-what the hell, y'all! ...did I do it right?
Hotei: Thanks, Inaba. Gettin' the cold shoulder's the worst.
MC: I guess we should do something he won't see coming?
Inaba: So, surprise him? If I just had a good enough trick...!
Benten: Any ideas, guys?
Ebisu: Uhh...
Hotei: The ideas man is here, y'all! I gots an artifact he doesn't know about!
MC: Wow! / You do...?

Later
Daikoku: (Why can't I leave? A strong bond of fate? This body is thinking it CAN'T leave!?)
Daikoku's still running. And now he's in a less crowded area.
Ebisu: GO!
Ebisu is apparently activating his artifact.
Daikoku: (Blasted fool. I know your tricks!)
Daikoku hides in darkness again. Ebisu however has something else on his fish hook.
Hotei: The Laughing Buddha is taking off! (changes to vending machine form)
Hotei: Behold, my new artifact! When in Tokyo, do as Tokyoites do! Beep boop, targeting Daikoku!
Inaba: W-wow, I've never seen an artifact like that before!
Daikoku: THAT'S NOT AN ARTIFACT!
Daikoku: Oh no, I did it again! This body's memories won't stay down!
Hotei: Vending Machine Sumo!
Daikoku: AAAAAA
Hotei blocks the way!

Benten: Give it up, Daikoku!
Daikoku: Ha! Your artifacts won't work on me!
MC: Right, so we aren't going to use them! (cracks fingers)
Daikoku:
Daikoku:
Daikoku:
Daikoku: YOU COULD DO THAT!?
Everyone jumps Daikoku.
Inaba: Master Onamujiiiii!
Daikoku: AAAAA
Inaba grabs Daikoku's arm all teary-eyed.
Daikoku: You're...
Inaba: I finally found you again!
Daikoku: ...I don't know you.

Inaba: Master, did you forget me!? It's me, Inaba! I came looking for you with my shark friend! I wanted to tell you it's thanks to you that I made up with him and have been living happi--
Daikoku: ...I am Daikoku. Onamuji? Who is that?
Inaba: ...!
MC: Daikoku! Inaba!
Inaba: ...I'm okay, Master. I understand, you're Daikoku.
MC: wait what? Really!?
Inaba: Playing tricks and being tricked is who I am. And he must have his reasons. As long as I can see him and tell him I've been okay, that's enough for me.
Daikoku: (flashes back)

Benten: Huh. You say you're Daikoku, right? I wanna go over your makeup and how it's so different, but if you say you're you, then eh, good enough.
Daikoku: ...w-why am I shaking to the core!?
Onamuji, the one who Okuninushi previously was, obeys no one. But if he's claiming to be Daikoku, then his role and place in the hierarchy will be Daikoku's.
Daikoku: Why do I get the feeling things will be a huge pain if I don't go along with it!?
Daikoku won't stop shaking. Neither does his mallet.
MC: Huh, that mallet.
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: Daikoku's artifact!
Daikoku: WHAT
Something dark is coming from the mallet! It is the Great Darkness that covers the seven colors of the world, and it surrounds the shrine in a flash!
Wolf A: W-what now? The fortune sticks are getting even darker!
Girl B: Bad vibes, man
Girl C: Dark sky!
Inside
Touji: I sense evil. Inaba's not back. What's going on!?
Agyou: OH NO THE FORTUNE STICKS

Outside
MC: The sky! / The fortune sticks! / I thought I saw something just now
Hotei: Oh yeah, Daikoku dressed like that before.
Ebisu: Was that before he joined the Treasure Ship?
MC: wait what
Benten: Yeah, Daikoku moved fast way back when. He'd put on make up like a heavy metal rocker and yell about "DESTRUCTION OF A THOUSAND YEARS!" Now it looks like he's some boring old dude who cringes at his edgy teen phase.
Daikoku: NOOO STOP MAKING ME SOUND LIKE A CHUUNIBYOU
MC: Bocchi the Rock reference! / Wow... ('you sweet summer child' stare)
Daikoku: No, that wasn't me! I mean I'm Daikoku, but NOT ME!
Benten: Stop! Denying the Shadow the Seven Disasters makes them rampage!
MC: what

Hotei: Those are the things we Lucky Seven Gods seal away.
Ebisu: I think Daikoku was doing that back in his home world too.
Black > Other Colors, therefore the Great Darkness is at the top of the hierarchy.
Ebisu: Daikoku deny his past and hierarchy means those memories will resurface, and artifacts have past memories sealed in them. So...
Inaba: My darkened sticks are writing something!
They say fire disaster, water disaster, and wind disaster.
MC: Oh no, what's gonna happen?
Wolf A: OW I BURNED MY TONGUE ON HOT FOOD
FIRE
Girl B: Urk! I choked on my drink because you scared me!
WATER
Randos: Oh no we're doing a Marilyn Manson because of the wind!
WIND
MC: OH NO HOW AWFUL / (smiles)

Inaba: Oh no, my fortunes...
Benten: Welp, there's only one thing for us to do.
Ebisu: Right.
Hotei: Ayup.
Inaba: Huh!?
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: We must purge the seven disasters and bring the seven fortunes.
Hotei: That's right, MC! When we're together...
Ebisu: We can do things we couldn't do alone.
Benten: It's our legendary reunion! I'm gonna blow up on Twitter first thing this year!
MC: Break a leg! / this cannot end well / (attempt to bail)
Benten: You're filling in because we don't have all seven of us here yet, MC!
Inaba: W-wait, me too!?
MC: Let's do it, Inaba. For Touji too.
Inaba: Master, are you sure?
MC: Sounds like fun / Benten is here, give it up / Such is fate

Daikoku: (stares in cop)
MC: Are you joining in?
Daikoku: Join what!? I--
Benten: Forget him, MC. I don't know what's up with him, but there's no place on stage for people who don't step up themselves!
MC: But I'm getting shanghaied into thi--AAA / But we chased him through the crowds for--AAA / (gets pulled along)
Daikoku: ...
Inaba: What are you going to do, Lord Onamuji Daikoku?
Daikoku: Nothing. As I am now, I have no connection to all this.
Daikoku cannot let his old name be revealed!
Inaba: ...okay. I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you, Lord Onamuiji-Lookalike. You should step back at least. Blessings for your relationships.
Inaba bows, then runs after everyone else. Daikoku watches him go.

Daikoku (narrating): I remember that day that rabbit showed me his flayed back. And I remember how I used to be, believing in the future.
Daikoku: What did I say back then...?
Onamuji (Flashback): If it doesn't work out the first time, just try again.
Daikoku: Huh?
Something starts shining in Daikoku's pocket. It's the fortune stick he picked up earlier!
Inaba (Flashback): The worst reunion of all time! Stop fighting and let it happen.
Daikoku: Did he mean the Seven Lucky Gods? This really IS the worst reunion, isn't it Daikoku?
Daikoku is now shaking because of other emotions instead of terror.
Daikoku: ...very well then, Daikoku. I'm borrowing your body, but now I will deceive the world even further and return what I borrowed.
The Lucky God Daikoku normally cannot be summoned in his normal class because he has the same class and power as the Great Darkness, the one who existed in Deva Loka and Shangri La as a double-sided being. Also he's banned from existing in Tokyo, his role and power detached from him, and he's sealed in the Void Horizon.
Daikoku: Syncretism means I can cover for Daikoku's class, and if we BOTH feel like it, we can do this...
The Lucky Mallet starts making noise. Inaba's power is making connections, meaning making connections to yet unseen futures...

Later
Ebisu: Fishing for fortune sticks! Gooo--
Ebisu slips on a banana peel. Tex Avery intensifies.
Ebisu: WHYYYYY
Hotei: Hotei Sack Catch!
Ebisu: T-thanks, Hotei.
MC: My turn to try! Plot sword, cut the dark mist!
Sudden wind blows MC off balance just when they were about to hit it.
MC: Whoops, guess I'll give up.
Benten: what. Bad luck is gonna win fr? Is my biwa gonna explode if I try something!?
Benten is shredding her biwa harder than usual, but her worries about what could happen is in itself bugging her.
Ebisu: Maybe it's because we're at a shrine on New Year's that this is happening?
Hotei: Maybe, but this ain't gonna be all chipper if we don't do something!
Benten: Ugh, if only he was here! ...what's that!?

Daikoku: Comrades, I have kept you all waiting. Were you waiting for my Golden Hammer of Heaven's Auspices?
Benten: OMG SO COOL
Daikoku: Destruction of a thousand years to the Seven Disasters! Strike the eight skulls henceforth and let loose the screams of uncountenanced masses! The daiko of the Seven Lucky Gods rings true as the Great Darkness Daikoku advances!
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: Yay, Daikoku!
Inaba: !?!?!?
MC: nerrrrrd
Daikoku: DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, THAT'S JUST HOW THE MEMORIES GO! ...ahem. Hahaha, behold my ingress ye adherents! Heh, it has been some time you three. We will talk later, you know what we require now, yes? 15 seconds, sinking time go!
Inaba: W-what...?
MC: The Treasure Ship! / Dress up! For luck! / Is he talking about the other Lucky Gods

Ebisu: But we can't summon the Treasure Ship here! We aren't in a dream and don't have enough power for that!
Inaba: Numbers? Well, there's four of the seven here, and Master and I make six. Oh wait, can we add Sharkie to make seven!?
Benten: Well sure, but we need to look the part too and boost our Lucky God signal!
Half the crowd of randos have no idea what they're looking at.
Benten: All people see when they look at us is a normal pretty girl, a fisherman, and a bad comedian yelling loudly! Which means half the crowd doesn't see us as the Seven Lucky Gods!
Daikoku: Ding ding, correct answer! That is the Unfortunate Terminally Online Social Media Maiden I know!
Hotei: Oh, we have to dress up!
Benten: I can't, tho. When we broke up, I took my dress to the cleaners and--
Ebisu: HOLD UP WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY EARLIER!?
Hotei: Daikoku, where'd you get your clothes fro--oh, the mallet!
MC: It's--
Daikoku: Yes, yes already, 'tis the fortune-bringing Lucky Mallet!

Daikoku bonks the air which spread light particles that magically dress up the rest of the Lucky Gods.
Ebisu: Hey, these are our old clothes!
Hotei: Yeah!
Benten: Awesome! That cleaning place I went to closed down, but now it's time for us to go full throttle!
Ebisu: Okay then...!
The Treasure Ship descends to Tokyo. People ooh and gasp! Showtime!
Ebisu: Wait, the Treasure Ship is here even though we aren't in a dream or in cyberworld?
Daikoku: I picked up my connections and had my servants encircle this area so it is now an Enclosed Space. Now we need three more people to fill in the gaps...
Inaba: O-oh! Me! Please let me help, Someone I'm Not Supposed to Know!
Daikoku: Haha very well then, Rabbit I Clearly Have No History With. Thus we now tie a new connection...
Lucky Gods Plus Inaba: We must purge the seven disasters and bring the seven fortunes!
Benten: Hit it, peeps!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Benten: More power, people! One more song, let's hear that applause!
Benten runs from one end of the ship to the other. The cheers are cleansing the darkness on the fortune sticks and weakening the Seven Disasters. Still not enough though. Still got parts of the audience to reach.
Ebisu: Wait, all these people cheering and it's still not enough!?
Hotei: Benten's runnin' on empty too!
MC: Almost...!
Inaba: Let me handle it! Remember, it's the Year of the Rabbit now! And since it's New Year's, I get about as much faith power as the Lucky Gods! Watch me, Master and Somebody Else!
Daikoku: ...very well.
Inaba: Let's go Sharkie! Our legend starts here!
MC: The shark! Inaba's fur!
Inaba starts writing in front of everyone.
Inaba: Behold the Noble Phantasm of the Inaba White Rabbit!
The lucky stars are all together, and their faith fills the area.
MC: The fortune sticks are brightening up again!

Yasha A: Hey look at that!
Oni B: What? I'm busy cooking here and it's been dark outs--WHOA
Inaba: Believe in the seven fortunes and fortune will come to you! A-and now, your destinies look bright! Look up into the sky, even for a second! Then, say the magic words together!
Oni Couple or whatever: what?
The clumsy words of Inaba, not together enough to be called a fortune.
Benten: Nice, Inaba! Wanna write a song for my band sometime?
No one can take their eyes off the Treasure Ship. More faith gathers, and the ship shines brighter. All who look at it smile, and the darkness from the fortune sticks clear away.
MC: Happy New Year!
Ebisu: Full speed ahead! To the center of the shrine!
Hotei: Anchoring position, getting the spotlight ready!
Daikoku: 80%...90%...100%! Lucky Power, 700%!
Benten: Get over here people, it's time for the grand finale!
Inaba: Ack, don't pull! Master, Sharkie, come on!
Benten: All together...!
Everyone: Happy New Year's, best wishes to all!

Inaba: Sharkie, look at my box!
Shark: Bark!
Inaba tightly holds his box of fortune sticks as the power returns to them. Someone headpats Inaba from behind.
Inaba: Huh?
Inaba turns around, but no one is there aside from the faint smell of cattail flowers.
Inaba: Let's go, Sharkie! Things have settled, and people are waiting! Thank you everyone...Lord Whatsyourface. See you later, Master!
Daikoku: ...heh.
Daikoku is the only one to turn around while everyone watches Inaba go, giving a little wave as he disappears into the shadows. It was a man calling him Daikoku instead of Okuninushi that Inaba met, and a new bond was forged. The new tale of Inaba and the shark begins here, and what future awaits him is unknown to him still. But there is a fortune that tells him that there will be a day Daikoku will go back to his original name, and that fate will cross with the Summoners. Until then, Inaba will stand proudly by his new master in Tokyo.

Later
Solomon: Wow, crazy new year again. (eats rice cake)
Solomon: Oh you wanna know what I did? Father and I decorated a racket together! I tried really hard, you know? Father had a drink and took a nap halfway through. Isn't it cute? Not as much as me of course! Look, it's a rabbit! Speaking of which, did you get a fortune stick?
MC: Oh right, that. Wanna go with me?
Solomon: Sure, I hope we meet lots of new people this year! I'm still first though! You're always having fun with everyone else... Oh, I really wanted to see the Treasure Ship! Master, will you hear me out?
Solomon hurries you along, carrying his New Year's racket. What will your fortune say? One thing's for sure though is that everyone is wishing for the same thing: may we all have a great year.
The End

Fortune Rabbit New Years 2023 Episode 2 (Abridged)

Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten (narrating): We must purge the seven disasters and bring the seven fortunes. The seven disasters are sunlight damage, starlight damage, storm damage, water damage, fires, droughts, and theft. The seven fortunes are longevity, good luck, popularity, integrity, authority, love and respect, and bounty. That's why we once gathered together on the Treasure Ship to visit people's first dreams of the year as the Seven Lucky Gods.
Benten: Heeey you guys! Thanks for coming to see us! Today I'll be Benzaiten!
Narration: The group split up due to creative differences according to Benten. One of the Seven Lucky Gods was Daikoku, whose name, body, and power is now given to someone else. That someone else is the ex-World Representative of Takamagahara Okuninushi, known as Onamjji no Mikoto in his youth and the one whose fate was tied to Inaba. Okuninushi has Reasons for borrowing Daikoku's identity, including enemies who he can't let know of his presence. Nobody can know about this, especially the other Lucky Gods.

Present
Daikoku: And that's everything about security here. Tell the head priest I said hello when he comes back. Excuse my interruptions when you're busy. I have to go back now.
Later, after Touji and the other shrine workers find some time to take a break
Agyou: OH MY GODS IT'S BEEN BUSY!
Inaba: Nice work Touji, Aggy.
Agyou: STOP CALLING ME AGGY! Oh never mind that for now. Get us water! Touji is sweating buckets!
Inaba: Here you go! That enough?
Agyou: A kettle!? Where's the glasses!?
Inaba: Aww yissss. Prank succ--
Agyou: >8C
Inaba: I'msorryI'msorry! I'll get you the glasses now!

Later
Agyou: Why do you have to be like that, Inaba? This place would be a mess if I weren't around to--oh Touji you okay? Inaba brought water!
Touji: Yes, thank you two. I never expected the chief to come here...
Inaba: Thanks for helping guys. Normally it's me and the priest working here. I bet the shrine you two normally work at must be busy too...
Touji: It's okay. It looks like the rush ended, good job.
Agyou: Easy peasy!
Inaba: You're still doing a lot, thanks!
Touji pats Inaba and Agyou.

Agyou: The White Rabbit Mikuji is super popular. This one box feels more lucky than the others though...
Inaba: Good eye, Aggy! This one's my artifact.
Agyou: oh
Inaba: That's all you have to say!?
Touji: You know about mikuji, right Agyou?
Agyou: Yep! Messages and advice for praying visitors.
Touji: Correct, just like at our shrine. But here, Inaba is in charge of them. He made them earlier with his power enchanted in.
Agyou: Wait, he makes them by hand!? That'd bring in so many good boy points!
Inaba: Tee hee. Stare and be amazed!
Shark: shark noise!

Touji: There is as much faith in fortune sticks in Tokyo as there is for Santa during Christmas, enough to go beyond the App's activation range normally. I guess we can say there's a benefit to a majority of Tokyo's people believing in them.
Agyou: Huh!
Inaba: Also, people like getting good news whenever, wherever! It's a miracle from my old Master.
Inaba's fortune sticks are under Onamuji/Okuninushi's protection on the hierarchy. As long as his authority isn't overshadowed, it will shine forever.
Agyou: Wow, much good boy points. Wait, can't you use it yourself to find your old Master then?
Inaba: No...he's higher on the hierarchy than me and powers don't work on people like that.
Agyou: Oh
Touji: I had the chief take a fortune too since he was here. Thanks Inaba, I hope your bonds are fruitful.
Inaba: Thanks!
Touji: Okay we should get back to work.
Inaba: Excuse me, Touji? Can I go on break?
Touji: Oh right, you said you'd be meeting someone. Very well. Our replacements should be here soon so we can go on break then.
Inaba: Cool, later!

Outside
Kengo: UGHHH, the line is so long!
Shirou: Stop yelling!
Hotei: Y'all impatient, Kengo. Ya need to be patient 5.67*10^9 years!
Kengo: Why!? That's so freaking long!
Benten: Cold.
Ryouta and an Evil slide into Moritaka's formal coat!
Ryouta: Yep, you gotta double up on coats in the cold.
Moritaka: Isn't this a bit much?
MC: Me too / I wish I had a fur coat / Hands, cold
(A) Moritaka: What!? W-well, the front is open if you like
(B) Gullinbursti: !! Master, you can hold me! Wait, am I not furry enough? My core is blacksmith made though!
(C) Benten: Why are you blushing? Here, you can borrow my hand warmer. Bandmates gotta look after each other!

Ebisu: That line is really long. I hope we aren't keeping Inaba waiting too long.
Hotei: Eh, we left a note. We can always call if we have to. I'm sure as the sun rises he'll come hopping like a literal bunny!
Gullinbursti: Master, there's noise up ahead. And...something small is...hopping this way...
MC: wait what
A loud voice approaches!
???: There, Sharkie!
Inaba bounces in!
Inaba: Master! My new master in Tokyo! (grabs MC's hand)
Inaba: I'm Inaba! My matchmaking is perfect, and thank you for coming!
MC: Nice meeting you for the first time? I guess? / bnnuy! / (pet)
(A) Inaba: Yes, this is our first meeting! I've always wanted to meet you!
(B) Inaba: What, my ears? It's okay, you can touch them.
(C) Inaba: O-oh, how bold for a first meeting...ticklish!

Shirou: No wait, MC get back. Uhh...Inaba, right?
Inaba: That's me! Are you master's friend?
Shirou: ...nice to meet you, I'm Motoori Shirou. You know MC?
Inaba: Nope! But we did meet once upon a dream.
Kengo: How does that even work? And what do you need with MC anyw--
Inaba: DUNNO
Gang: what???
Inaba: I dunno, my artifact just said they'd be my best match for a master! I'm still new, but take good care of me! ...I don't know what to do from here either though...
MC: Uhhh...help me Lucky Gods!

Benten: What, what do you expect from us? He just asked us for help.
Hotei: Huh, this really a first time meetin'? Were you two connected in a past life or summat?
Ryouta: We dunno, MC has amnesia...
Touji and Agyou arrive.
Touji: Ugh. You people cause a commotion wherever you guys go.
Gullinbursti: Touji! Sharp as ever!
Touji: Good to see you in good health, Gullinbursti. It's been a year or so since last time?
Agyou: You guys? What're you doing here?
MC: What? What are YOU guys doing here? / (shrug)

Touji: I came to help out. Don't tell anyone, but the priest is out.
Agyou: And I came to help Touji! I go to other shrines too if they need help!
Girl A: Ooh, pretty white rabbit. Is he the one the rumors were about?
Guy B: Think the bit about his fortune sticks is fr? I thought it was sus.
Boy C: Look, a priest and komainu! Maybe it's real after all!
Agyou: Touji, shouldn't we move elsewhere? People are making noise!
Touji: Well this is the rabbit year. Alright Inaba, talk with MC later.
Inaba: B-but...!
MC: It's okay, I promise we'll talk later.
Inaba: Oh, you're so kind... This really is a good match!
Inaba starts talking about himself as he goes.
Inaba: I'm sure my wish is to see a certain someone, and I'll do my best to serve you if you'll make it happen!
MC: So who are you looking for?
Inaba: His name is--!

Elsewhere
Daikoku: Did something happen? Is that why there's so much noise? And White Rabbit Mikuji...
A faint memory resurfaces.
Daikoku: !! This feeling is--
The stick in his hand falls apart and a light writes something out.
Daikoku: Isn't that...white rabbit fur? And those words...
Inaba (Fortune): The worst reunion of all time! Stop fighting and let it happen.
Daikoku: ...what? What is going on--whoa!
The fortune stick starts blacking out from where Daikoku touched it!

Elsewhere with the crowds
Visitor A: Hey my stick turned dark!
Visitor B: Doom!
Inaba: What!?
MC: wait what's going on
Benten: ooh, banger?
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: oh
Daikoku: !! (smiles)
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: (smiles)
Daikoku is getting five alarm red alert vibes. He starts to move his feet and...
Daikoku: (bails) BYE, JUST YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDLY POLICE CHIEF
Benten: Stop right there if you don't want us chasing you! That's totally him, but why he's so different!?
Inaba: NOOOO, Master Onamuji!
Ebisu: Who? ...uh, him?
Hotei: Haha, this is hilarious!
MC: Wow he ran fast. / I don't wanna get back in line!

Benten: Get him! Ebisu, you know what to do right!?
Ebisu: Much as I don't want to! If that IS Daikoku, I get why he'd run!
Inaba: Ebisu please help me see Master Onamuji!
MC: What? Not Daikoku?
Benten: Hey did he have eyeshadow on? When did Daikoku go for the goth look!?
Daikoku: Stop making me sound weird, Benten! Oh no my mouth just said that!
Hotei: Old habits die hard or something? Dunno.
Daikoku: NO! Ack, I did it again!
Benten: Aww, Daikoku it IS you. Ebisu, Hotei, do it!
Ebisu: I dunno, something seems differe--
Benten: Do it, bitch
Ebisu: I'MSORRY Maybe Daikoku! Fishing rod, fly!
Ebisu's cast flies at Daikoku.
Daikoku: Presence Concealment!
Daikoku claps the back of his hands together.
Ebisu: Hey wait, that's Ama-no-Sakate! Kotoshironushi used it to hide himself in Takamagahara!
Daikoku snakes through the stalls and spreads a cloud of darkness! Ebisu's fishing hook loses track of him and returns.
Ebisu: He got away...then!?
MC: what

Benten: ...Hotei, I choose you!
Hotei: I'm up, y'all! Now don't be mad Daikoku(?) we just wanna talk. Secondary Noble Phantasm go! Benevolence Anchor! Love and peace!
When more than one Lucky God is in one place, the Treasure Ship artifacts they have can use powers they can't use solo.
Hotei: Magnet, Anger Emotion Pull!
The anchor flies at Daikoku. But just as it's about to catch him...
Green Pirate: COME AT ME BRO
Red Pirate: You wanna piece of me!?
...Daikoku misdirects the anchor at other targets.
Green Pirate: Fraaands
Red Pirate: FRIENDSHIP! BFFs, man!

Hotei: Benten, we got a slippery one!
Benten: Right, he knows how your guys' artifacts work.
Ebisu: Not only that, but he knows Takamagahara's--
Benten: oh yeah weren't you a baby when--
Ebisu: Yes, I drifted from Takamagahara to Wa no Kuni, so I know. But...why?
Inaba: He's Master Onamuji from Takamagahara!
Benten: ...whoever he is, we gotta catch him first. He must be guilty or he wouldn't be running.
Ebisu: But anyone would run away if you were chasing them with that look on yo--
Benten: STFU
Ebisu: OW
Hotei: Niiiice. Repetitions are the basics for performers.

Daikoku disappears through the crowds towards the entrance!
Ebisu: Benten, we'll lose him if he gets away from the shrine!
Ebisu is floating on his fish pillow acting as lookout.
Hotei: We gotta gut up to get through! Who's got the biggest gut? Oh wait, it's ME!
Benten: ...
Hotei: Oh, misread the crowd. Any ideas?
MC: Daikoku! / That was bad and you should feel bad, Hotei
(B) Hotei: yeah

Benten: Is Daikoku really hiding from us fr?
Inaba: Master Onamuji why...do you hate me?
Shark: (sad shark noises)
Inaba's shoulders droop.
MC: Inaba, can you tell me something?
Inaba: Huh? O-oh, you should pull a White Rabbit Mikuji and--oh no, right they're dark and unreadable!
MC: Forget whether he hates you or about the fortune sticks. You know how you feel, right? What do you want to do?
Inaba: ...oh! Yes, my new master! I mean, Master! I still want to talk to him, even if he does hate me, so I should charge in!
MC: Right, let's go guys!

Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: ...MC.
Benten: Know what? You're right!
Ebisu: It'll be weird if we got the wrong person, but if we can see Daikoku again...!
Hotei: We still haven't seen some o' the other old crew either yet, either. What kinda performer gives up here?
Benten: What kind of Lucky Gods would we be if we let luck get away from us on New Year's!?
Inaba: Master...please let me help you! That man is Master Onamuji, the man I wanted to see again after so long! So please...!
Shark: (urgent shark noises)
MC: We're going after Daikoku, Inaba! And we're fixing the fortune sticks!
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: Yeah!
Inaba: I came all this way to see you again, Master!
Daikoku: ...uh? W-what's going on with my body!?
End of Episode

Fortune Rabbit New Years 2023 Episode 1 (Abridged)

Flashback!
Inaba: (sniffles)
Onamuji: Hmm. Rabbit boy. What's wrong?
Inaba: (sniffles)
Onamuji squats down while Inaba continues crying. Inaba eventually looks up and is surprised at how close Onamuji is squatting down to him.
Inaba: Um, I'm a rabbit who lived on some island and wanted to cross the sea to a bigger island. And I did it by tricking my friend and his group.
Onamuji: Go on.
Inaba: I asked my shark friend how many of them there were and asked them to line up to this island. I jumped over here on them, then told them it was all a trick. They got mad and tore my fur off...salty wind on exposed skin hurts. I did something bad...
Onamuji: I see. Well let's fix you up first. You know what you did was wrong and won't do it again, so you don't need to suffer anymore. And I can't leave you in pain like this.

Later
Onamuji: Okay, river water and cattail flowers. Now just rest and you'll be good.
Inaba: Um...are you leaving me?
Inaba looks sad. Onamuji looks away before shrugging his shoulders.
Onamuji: Hmm, I suddenly want to sit down because I am tired from moving heavy things. Is it okay if I sit with you?
Inaba: O-okay!
It's nice and peaceful. Inaba is dying to ask Onamuji why he was nice to him. Onamuji sees as much and smiles up at the sky.
Onamuji: I didn't do anything special. I just can't bring myself to abandon anyone crying in front of me.
Onamuji pets Inaba.

Onamuji: Okay, time to go. Relax until you heal up. Don't worry, the guardian here is kind.
Inaba: ...w-wait, Master!
Inaba takes out a board and chants something, causing a hair to fly out and write words.
Onamuji: ...what's this?
Inaba: I'm Inaba and I tie bonds and fates with fortune telling sticks. This one says you'll have a good relationship for sure, so...it'll happen! Maybe! For sure!
Onamuji: Oh, nice. But that can be a problem.
Inaba: wait what
Onamuji: I already have a good relationship. If I want something even better, everyone will be mad. Thank you, rabbit boy.
Inaba is so moved he can't see Onamuji's face through his tears, and he swears to meet him again. This is the story of the meeting of the man who would be Okuninushi and Inaba.

Present
New Year's Eve
MC is dreaming of the Treasure Ship.
MC: WHAT, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS TO BE HAPPENING
Inaba: Yesssss!
MC: whomst
Inaba: Nice to meet you! Oh wait, the backlight is too strong but I don't know how to change it. Sorry about that. I'm Inaba, the Inaba white rabbit. I come from Takamagahara to meet my old Master!
MC: what
Inaba: To do that, I came to ask for a new master for help, and that's why we're talking in your dream like this. I got lost in Tokyo...and Shinjuku is even worse! Especially the train station!
MC: uhhh
Inaba: Whoops! Back on topic, please come see me at some shrine where I'm working when you can!
MC: okay
Inaba: Let me give you a new year's message then!
A light comes from the Treasure Ship and turns into an omikuji fortune stick.
MC: Huh...a fortune stick? / Godly light!
Inaba: This is a White Rabbit Mikuji made from my power! My old Master swears it works! Go ahead, open it up. May fortune bless your relationships. Boing boing!

Later
Shirou: Weird dream you had, MC.
Gullinbursti: Strange, but just like you to have such a bright dream so quickly, Master!
Kengo: Your life is WEIRD. Japanese culture says you're supposed to see the Treasure Ship as the first dream of the year for luck, right?
Moritaka: What did he mean by wanting you to meet him?
MC: (shrug) / I wanted the Treasure Ship be my first dream of the year
(A) Shirou: W-well it wasn't technically the new year yet, so I guess it doesn't count?
Ryouta: Maybe it'll come again tonight. That'd be lucky.
Gullinbursti: Master is very lucky! Take me with you on your next Treasure Ship trip.
(B) Gullinbursti: I hear the Treasure Ship is good for relationships in Tokyo.
Kengo: What, is it not like that where you're from?
Gullinbursti: It's beautiful, but thieves always attack it and it smells of war.
Ryouta: Huh. Well the crew of the Treasure Ship we know would probably kick butt.

Ryouta: Why'd a rabbit show up on the ship anyway? New member?
Shirou: Haha, no way...but I can totally see Benten doing that.
Imaginary Benten: New Treasure Ship member, and it's a white rabbit!? OMG, banger incoming!
Kengo: Yeah that sounds like her. It's kinda cool she rolls like that.
Shirou: Just to recheck, you're gonna go see this rabbit?
MC: I guess? I can't leave him alone, and I'm curious about the Treasure Ship.
Gullinbursti: Your kindness makes me proud to have you as a Master. I strive to be just a good a ride as the Treasure Ship!
Ryouta: Okay WOW. Also, you got a fortune, right? What'd it say?
MC: Uhh...
Flashback!
Inaba: Do the toast in mouth running late for school anime cliche and you'll have a good connection when you turn around the corner

Present
Gang: WHAAAT
Moritaka: Is this really okay!?
Kengo: Dude, this guy's totally pranking ya!
Ryouta: Hmm, maybe he's right though if he was on the Treasure Ship.
MC: Well, why not? / I wanna try / (crouch like a runner)
---
(AB) Gullinbursti: Master, your optimism!
(C) Gullinbursti: Ooh, Master...!
---
Shirou: Well okay then. How about a bread roll?
MC: You just bring out a bread roll like it's nothing. And it's handmade... / Did you always have bread on you?
(AB) Shirou: I picked up baking recently from Maria. I hope you try some sometime.
(C) Shirou: I brought some for the Evils since we were going to be in line.

Ryouta: Welp, time to count down. 3...2...1...GO!
---
MC: Turn left! / Turn right! / Charge ahead! Nobody can stop me!
(A) Hakumen: OH! Oh my, such a soft crashing into! Milord? You shouldn't run with bread in your mouth, but I forgive you. Amazing we meet so early in the year. I'm in a good mood, so here's a special New Year's money present! I have a meeting to go to, so bye!
(B) Smoky God: RICH AND FABULOUS ESCAPE! ...oh! Fancy meeting you here. And you have bread in your mouth...this year looks to be a good one, haha. Let me give you a present. Oh, it's not money, sorry. I don't walk around with cash on hand. I'll send it through someone else, later. With elephants and dancers of course. If I get any closer, my bodyguard will react...bye.
(C) Kengo: TURN GODDAMMIT
---
Kengo: Damn...

Later
Benten: Those fortunes are fr! I scouted them out and all, you know? New Treasure Ship member, and it's a white rabbit!? OMG, banger incoming!
Gullinbursti: Oh Freyr above Kengo was right
This is Some Shrine in Taitou that Inaba told MC to come to. Of course Benten and the others are here.
Ebisu: Benten, it's just too much to have the Treasure Ship show up on New Year's Eve.
Hotei: Meh, it's cool if it's funny. You're as unpredictable as ever, Benten!
Benten: Not like it's a trick or whatevs. And it's true that white rabbit has been looking around.
MC: Couldn't he have just called instead of dream calling?

Ebisu: I'm surprised he was looking for you, MC.
Hotei: The Treasure Ship sails from dream to dream, so only he knows where it's goin'.
Moritaka: Why didn't you call or text MC when you found out he was looking for them?
Ebisu, Hotei, and Benten: oops
Shirou: Nobody thought of it...
Benten: D-details! And I'm not so crazy as to call in the middle of the night!
Ebisu: But you call me up late all the time to bug me to join you for karaokeing.
Benten: STFU
Ebisu: OW
Hotei: Nice...
MC: So where's Inaba or whoever?
Ebisu: He's still busy with stuff. Can you wait a little longer?
Shirou: Okay, I guess...
Benten: You're here to visit the shrine like Japanese tradition, right? I'll lead you in!
Ryouta: But I haven't eaten the sweets here yet!
Hotei: She's just like that, please understand
Benten: You're coming too!
Hotei: NOOO not the cold!

Later
Shirou: I expected as much, but these lines are long. Don't get separated, everyone.
There's another long line here too.
MC: What's that line for?
Moritaka: It's just as long as this line. Benten, what are they lining up there for?
Benten: Pulling fortunes after the shrine visit. They're super popular.
MC: A line that long for fortune sticks? Are they that accurate?
Benten: Lots of people in Tokyo believe in those fortune sticks.
Ebisu: It's not just Wa no Kuni and Takamagahara. Other worlds have something similar.
Moritaka: Brings back memories of when I would go to the shrine on New Year's with my dog Yoshiro.

Kengo: Long line after long line? Barf. Hey Shirou, why don't we just split up between the lines?
Ebisu: You can't, there's a proper order to these things.
Kengo: what
Benten: Visiting the shrine on New Year's is making a wish for how you want to be in the coming year.
Hotei: The fortune stick is like advice on how your wish will go.
Ryouta: Sooo pulling great luck doesn't mean you'll have lots of luck this year?
Ebisu: Not unconditionally, but it's basically a show of your fate. Good luck means good year, bad means bad...
Hotei: It can also mean that gettin' good luck means you peak while gettin' bad luck means you can only go up.
Benten: It's all in what you believe, so believe in what you want.
Kengo: Way to not answer, damn!
Benten: But that's what luck is.

MC: That reminds me...the message also mentioned love and waiting.
Benten: Yeah, there's lots of details so you better read carefully.
Gullibursti: I see, it's a thing of faith. I should pray to see what I should be for Master.
Benten: Now that you agree, pay me back by buying me a coffee. We got a long line ahead!
Vending Machine Hotei: Welcome y'all, beep boop!
Gang: No thanks!
Elsewhere
Touji: Excuse me, I am Hougen-sensei's pupil Sakimori Touji and I am here subbing in for the main priest. Have you finished visiting the shrine? These is the shrine's special omikuji sticks, the White Rabbit Mikuji with divine grace over connections. Would you like one Superintendent Daikoku?
End of Episode