Sunday, September 15, 2024

Valentine Crossroad Episode 6 Part 1 (Abridged)

Krampus (narrating): So I told you my favorite toku shows are sentai hero squads, right? The rivals making the stories unpredictable thing is so cool! Every first timer is like "omg the story's so good???" And like, same. Everyone's important to the plot! Also everyone's the hero of their own story, and I think life's like that too before thinking about it gets too crazy. I'm meant to punish naughty children as Krampus, but that's a role given to me. I don't do it because I'm supposed to win or whatever. And if everyone has a chance of winning, I wonder what kind of hero I'd be?
Present
So anyways Hippolytus is squaring off against the party now.

Evil Scientist A: WAAAAH I'm not owned, I'm not owned! Quick, stall until our secretines weapon starts working!
Taishakuten: STOP, BITCH
Evil Scientist A: NEVER (throws smoke bomb)
Taishakuten: MY EYES! Also is it okay to breathe this stuff!?
Masanori: I didn't think they'd be open to friendly fire, yet here we are. Still, a smokescreen...
MC: Can we do anything about it!? / (look for stuff to use) / (charge!)
(C) Krampus: No wait, MC! There should be a vent switch around here somewhere...

Evil Scientist A is making a break for it upstairs!
Evil Scientist A: Hold the valenline until I get back!
The rest of the villain gang is caught. Evil Scientist A isn't looking where he's going.

Volkh: HALT
Evil Scientist A: OH NO THE WORST POSSIBLE PERSON TO RUN INTO
Evil Scientist A backs up.
Evil Scientist A: Uhhh... HELP!
Evil Scientist A knocks shelves and glass equipment over until he tumbles back down into the basement!

Villain Gang: WHAT
MC: welp / Pincer attack! / can you guys give up yet
Takeminakata: what you came back? Wow.
Masanori: He must've run into Volkh. I asked him to stand guard upstairs.
Volkh: Indeed. (catches villain boss)
Hippolytus: (stares in surprised gardener)

Later
Evil Scout B: Waaah, what's gonna happen to us?
Evil Scientist C: Nooo, not the experimental farm! All day farm work followed by sleeping outside!
Volkh: What!? That's not how it works!
Ah yes, the lamentations of the losers.

Evil Scout D: I can't believe we tripped so close to the end...
Evil Scout B: And we would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling outsiders!
Evil Scout D: We could finally stop being dateless losers!
Evil Scout B: We wanted to have a fun time at schooool!
Evil Scientist A: Comrades, we've lost the valenrevolution...
MC: Stop bothering other people / They're NOT delusional? / I know that feel bro...

Masanori: I feel bad seeing them fail...
Taishakuten: They did their best though!
Villain Gang: waaah
Takeminakata: Winning's all down to luck. Maybe you should just face things head on! Not that I can talk!
Volkh: ...we have to investigate first before we decide what we will do. Be good and we might show mercy.
Evil Scout B: And we just got Perun to sign off on our thing...
Volkh: WHAT
Evil Scientist A: Yeah, we were gonna use pesticides to make a new winner at life. Except we valenlost... Okay so we had our own motives too, but we want to have fun with events too! We want to not feel like losers for not having dates.
Krampus: Well you guys seemed determined, even if the goal causes problems for everyone.
Hippolytus: Hmm...

Krampus: ...what's up, Hippolytus?
Hippolytus is staring at the potion the villain boss had.

Hippolytus: What are we gonna do with this?
MC: Trash it? Leave it? What's the plan, Volkh?
Volkh: I'd trash it, but they said Perun signed off on it and that worries me...
Hippolytus: Can I hang onto it then?
MC: but why tho?
Hippolytus: I was thinking this thing CAN revolutionize breeding. (looks at report) Wow this can also make things compatible with anything. Still not finished, but it can keep crops fresh for long times!
Evil Scientist A: oh right for the record an immortal scientist from Agisymba helped us. Valentines.
Hippolytus: Oh, the place hoping to have things not die for no reason. Anyways I'm starting to sympathize with them.
MC: Guess they aren't evil? / are you projecting yourself / (watch him)
(A) Hippolytus: Maybe?
(B) Hippolytus: Yeah maybe.

Something inside Hippolytus's heart is coming up.
Hippolytus: ...they didn't have much choice. They're just like me.
Takeminakata: what
Hippolytus: Wait I'm not agreeing with their goals or anything, but...
Hippolytus starts thinking about his past.

Hippolytus: No one in my home world understood me, and I didn't understand any of them. I thought it was me who was the problem.
The world flexing that hierarchy!

Hippolytus: Maybe I'd be all "viva la revoluciĆ³n!" if I met these guys back then!
MC: (wait what) / (keep watching)
Hippolytus: By the way, you guys ever seen how many kinds of flowers I have? If I had every garden club member grow only one kind, the rest would die off...
MC: what / are you saying people are the same? / ...
(B) Hippolytus nods.

Hippolytus: It must be really nice to think of someone as special. But that's still neglecting everything else, so if I use this potion they won't coexist with flowers and crops not using the potion. Winning at life means having to getting rid of all your rivals. So Dark ABC Gang random biochem researchers? You just wanted to keep your places safe, huh? That's the part I sympathize with.
Panning of the villain mobs.
Hippolytus: But I think I can think of a new plan. I'll just tell Perun it was hard to stop the mob gang!
MC: So you want to let them off the hook? (No, wait...)
Hippolytus: Well no I can't just say that in front of Volkh! Need to figure how to explain everything else first. But I, Hippolytus, now have a dream and I'll be borrowing their efforts!
Takeminakata: After all that happened in class? Geez. Kinda impressed you want to accept it all though.
Evil Scientist A: Y-you'll forgive us? Valenthanks! But we still caused problems, and we can't plan ahead until things are settled.

Taishakuten: Just say yes, dammit!
Takeminakata: I support your choice too! I came over to reinvent myself too!
Hippolytus: You guys...
Krampus: (frowns)
Krampus: You guys?
Krampus starts talking to the mobs.

Krampus: You used some lines from a Kamen Rider show I liked, didn't you?
Evil Scientist A: UHHHH what a valenery weird coincidence!
Evil Scout B: You can say you like toku shows, it's okay.
Krampus: I liked the funny but earnest villain you were aping. You like them too?
Evil Scientist A: ...I guess.
Krampus: We can be friends then.
Krampus used to keep his hobbies secret until he met MC and started opening up about them. And now he's taking his claws off and holds out his hand to the mob.

Evil Scientist A: HOW DARE YOU USE MY LIKES TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH ME
The rest of the villain gang surrender.

MC: so, we good now? / You're so cool Krampus! / (something's STILL up)
(B) Krampus: Nooo I messed up my big entry! It was supposed to be so much cooler...

Hippolytus: Thanks for persuading them, Krampus.
Taishakuten: Yeah, like damn you crit rolled that shit!
Krampus: Nah, we're just nerds. Can't explain, spoilers.
MC: Worried about spoilers, now? / Good scene / neeeerds
---
(A) Krampus: B-but it was so cool!
(B) Krampus: Yeah! ...omg you know about it!?
---
Hippolytus: ...sorry again guys.
Krampus: What?
Masanori: Excuse me everyone, we still have business to deal with. Volkh still has things to do.
Takeminakata: Oh! Sorry Volkh.
Volkh: It's fine, you all did well. Now come along, Biochem--!?
Loud glass-breaking rumbling!

Takeminakata: What just happened?
MC: Something's in the lab? Let's go. It doesn't seem to be an earthquake...
Taishakuten: Something's coming down!
Taishakuten grabs MC's shoulders. The villain gang don't seem to know what's up either.

Krampus: Huh. I don't hear anyone up there.
Masanori: Hippolytus, Volkh, is someplace prone to catching fire up there?
Volkh: Only the lab, if just the ground floor.
Takeminakata: What is that? Not a person surely.
MC: Let's get closer / Anyone have some light? / (stare)
(A) Masanori: That would be dangerous. Light first.
(B) Krampus: How about our phones?

Wild Plant Walls appear!
Party and Volkh but not Hippolytus: what
Evil Scientist A: Oh no I forgot about our Berserk Plantines Weapon with infinite regen!
Taishakuten: Why would you pick that for a secret weapon!?
Masanori: Is this a bad time to respect your determination to pull a revolution?
Evil Scout B: wait why does it look like watermelons?
Krampus: wait what are you doing Hippolytus?
Hippolytus: UHHHH I'm taking over for the villain gang!
MC: ...what's your deal Hippolytus?
Hippolytus: Remember when I apparently said I want to know what true love is if I could? And how I asked to hang on to the love potion? I didn't say it was temporary. :|
Hippolytus: Anyways, I'm gonna win!
Welp.

End of Episode part

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