Hippolytus (narrating): Personal issues? Of course I have them! LoVe? RoMaNcE? WHO CARES?! Cuckolding? Spouse stealing? What kind of nasty, horrible animals ARE you people!?
Yeah Hippolytus is pretty much aro-ace. The only thing he really cared much about is some voice in the woods he'd go talk to but never see, never knowing his stuff would change up Olympus.
Present. The next morning, some evil lab
Evil Scout A: So something weird happened during the test and we should look into making that stop.
Evil Scientist B: Mmm, yes. We are trying to stealthily take over the school and random acts of valeniolence is not part of the plan.
Evil Scout A: please stop making valentine puns I mean, the workshop staff kept things under control and now we have important data
Evil Scientist B: Mmm, yes, things would have blown up if we kept the formula the same. By the way maybe we should do something about those workshop people.
Evil Scout A: Yes, it seems like they can resist our drugs somehow.
Evil Scientist B: Hmmmm, it would be a big valentery help if we dealt with them now.
Evil Scout A: Yes sir, I'll try to recruit them. If they say no...well unfortunate things happen.
Evil Scientist B: I'm glad you have things valenwell in hand! The fools will know the Dark ABC Valentines Gang soon! SOON!
Evil Scout A: can we please change the name? I mean, yes sir.
Several hours later, the party plus Volkh meet at the workshop. Hippolytus has a box filled with wreaths while everyone is here to talk about preventative measures keeping the workshop running smoothly.
MC: Say, what IS your artifact anyways?
Hippolytus: Oh right, I never said!
Takeminakata: Is it those mossy hands of your? How do the wreaths have magic in them then? (picks up and wears a wreath on his arm)
Hippolytus: So uh...my sort of home world Olympus has this place called the Pure Plains? It has these flowers that faith believes won't be despoiled by anyone, and my artifact can enchant any plants I touch with my artifact to do the same thing! So when I make wreaths, they make barriers or something.
Taishakuten: Oh. So it protects us when we wear it?
Hippolytus: Yes, that!
Takeminakata: So aren't we okay now that you've made all these wreaths?
Hippolytus: Up until they wilt. And I don't have the time and flowers to keep remaking them...
Not a permanent solution, got it.
Volkh: In other news, if I catch the culprits I'm sending them to the experimental farm!
MC: Oh my god??? / let the punishment fit the crime! / (I pretend I do not hear)
---
(A) Volkh: What? It's just where we test new growing and production methods. No experiments on people.
(B) Volkh: They shall know the joys of manual farming labor!
---
Volkh: Anyways, thank you Hippolytus. We'd have to cancel everything if not for your wreaths. And it gave us time to think about all this.
Krampus: But we have no clues on who did this and why...
Masanori: Well if they're using the app to do this, we could investigate along that line. And we can sort of think up a motive with all the love potion flowers and Valentines timing...
Takeminakata: Charm bombing? But it doesn't even last long.
Hippolytus: ...oh. :|
Taishakuten: You figure something out!?
Hippolytus: Well... what if the culprit is trying to mix those love potion flowers into some Best Love Potion thing?
MC: WHAT / how did you even think of that? / (wait)
Hippolytus: There are easier ways of interrupting the workshop if that was the goal, so maybe the love potion is the goal all along. And if they're making multiple tries, I figure they're trying to mix them up...
Masanori: Hmm... go on.
Hippolytus: (pulls some hair that looks like a flower out of his head and plays with it) Sooo, the same kind of flowers can have different effects from faith of different worlds. So maybe where someone comes from can also affect them? If they mix them together, they might still be able to use the love potion thingy to some degree...
Krampus: Yeah, I guess some universal drug would be easier.
???: HMM! How insightful, Hippolytus!
The party looks around! No one seems to be there. Until...
Evil Scout A: Wow, you figured out a lot about our plans.
MC: Oh no! / Sorry, we're done with class for the day and not taking any more signups.
---
(BC) Evil Scout A: Oh okay sorry ab--WAIT we're not here to sign up! Oof, I'm about to mess up my cool and mysterious first impression.
---
Smug weirdo.
Evil Scout A: I'm a Valentine revolutionary from the Dark ABC Gang and I'm here to talk to the workshop manager.
MC: WHAT / your group name suuuucks / Quick, we need Fenrir's edgelord naming scheme
(BC) Evil Scout A: yes it sucks please don't bring it up
Taishakuten: Hey, are you the bitch who drugged us yesterday!?
Masanori: Wait, we still need evidence before we can turn him in.
Evil Scout A: Oooh, scary. And who ever said yesterday's stuff was all I ever did?
MC: You admitted it like a minute ago / (look at Masanori)
---
(C) Masanori: You just confirmed Hippolytus's hypothesis earlier!
---
Evil Scout A: ...oh.
Masanori: I don't think I've ever met someone with looser lips than you.
Evil Scout A: Um, who could you ever be talking about~?
Taishakuten: Volkh can I punch him?
Volkh: I understand how you feel, really I do. But he's still a Setagaya student and I can't be party to administrator-on-student violence. Legal problems.
Takeminakata: What if I sumo wrestle him and make him give up his evil ways if I win?
Krampus: W-wait, he can't be picking a fight with ALL of us, right?
Evil Scout A: YES. That. Ahem. I wanted to make an offer to Hippolytus.
Hippolytus: WHAT
Evil Scout A: Join us?
MC: wait what
Evil Scout A: Valentines is only for the lucky! So we're going to change things for the losers!
Masanori: ...and that's why you want to make a love potion?
Krampus: I guess some people do already have someone else in mind.
Takeminakata: Yeah, there are people who lose out... STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT
Hippolytus: (shocked staring)
Evil Scout A: Valentines Revolution is going to start here in Setagaya!
Taishakuten: Does that stupid love potion even work?
Evil Scout A: I don't know who used that thing from yesterday, but we're trying for something else. It's supposed to be super close range and single target, not multitarget.
MC: Sooo brainwashing and coercion.
Evil Scout A: Let's put it this way then. Is love free? Feelings are determined by genes and society, so you can't just choose to love who you want. It's just a literary expression of science and social conventions! Love potions are just like having a friend help you get set up with someone.
MC: Tortured logic! / hmm, rando makes sense / ...
Evil Scout A: So Hippolytus! How about joining us, even if it's just until we finish the love potion?
Hippolytus: ...so why is all this related to the workshop?
Evil Scout A: We'll drug your flower gifts so people can have eternal unchanging love!
Masanori: Oh...
Evil Scout A: The workshop is popular because everyone thinks the gifts will magically get them love. It's a business opportunity! Join us?
MC: Hmm, win-win? / Ignore him, Hippolytus / ...
(A) Hippolytus: (frown)
Taishakuten: Hold up, lemme say something first.
Hippolytus: Taishakuten?
(BC) Hippolytus: MC...
Taishakuten: You think you can bring it? Then bring it, bitches! I could kick ass since the day I was born, so sure I like to fight.
Takeminakata: Yeah, I was born strong so I could go focus on sumo.
Taishakuten: Yeah that. You know what flaw you guys got in your logic is, though?
Masanori: (stares)
Evil Scout A: w-what?
MC: You guys are assuming the gifts get accepted / what
Krampus: What's the point in drugging flowers people can choose to reject, especially when they figure out something's up with them?
Evil Scout A: ...oh
MC: Your evil plan SUCKS / oh
Evil Scout A: ...UGH! Whatever! Hippolytus! Join? Yes!?
Hippolytus: Hmm...
Hippolytus: ...why does making someone like you matter so much anyways :|
Shocked party!
Evil Scout A: ...
Evil Scout A: REEEEEE
MC: Oh no!
Evil Scout A: Did you not listen to a single word I said!? Must be NICE to have so many people like you already!
Hippolytus: W-what? I literally do not understand what love is!
MC: wait what
Hippolytus: I'd still say no even if I did understand. It sucks that everyone assumes I just do! And if you don't get that, you'll have to CATCH THESE HANDS
Evil Scout A: excuse me?
Hippolytus: Secret Gardens of the Heart are a real thing and people get to give them to who they want to! No trespassers allowed!
Hippolytus takes a fighting stance.
Hippolytus: Come at me with whatever you have!
Taishakuten: Oh my god Hippolytus actually knows how to fight!
Krampus: He's all OOC now.
Evil Scout A: Fine! I use my love potion to somehow play Shadow Clone Jutsu and attack!
Takeminakata: I bet on Hippolytus! ...wait is this a thing in Setagaya?
MC: So we good if you don't fight, Volkh? / do people not fight each other in Setagaya? / (cover Volkh's eyes)
---
(A) Volkh: Not...entirely. I need to think of some excuse for Perun to explain any damage to his farmlands.
(B) Volkh: What kind of school is Shinjuku!?
(C) Volkh: I can't see! ...enough joking, MC!
---
Hippolytus: Eat pankration, punk!
BATTLE START
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