Afterschool Treasure Odyssey Episode 2 Part 2 (Abridged)

Sitri: Okay I can't take them all solo!
Black Merman: Dammit, the little kid's fast and has some weird trick!
Purple Merman: Give up kid, we won't hurt you.
The mobs don't realize Sitri's slowly drawn them away from Sanzo!
Sitri: (Did F Boy run away yet? Sorry I didn't do better Dad, MC-senp--wait, I can't give up!)
Sitri: HELP
CRASH
???: Hey, the cavalry is here!
Sitri: what
Sanzo: I brought friends back!
Sitri: ...how'd you find the lamest yet coolest guys!?

Sanzo brought the Pick Up Gang!
Gouryou: To protect our hearts from devastation...
Typhon: To unite all cuties within the nation!
Ulaanbaatar: Yada yada, Ulaan that's right!
Gouryou, Typhon, Ulaanbaatar: We're the Pick Up Gang!
Mermen: WHAT
Sitri: WHAT
Sanzo: YEAH!
Oddly cool losers
Red Merman: ...WHAT?
Typhon: What, y'all don't get it? It's ass kicking time for botherin' our pal.
Green Merman: you guys are a legit team?
Ulaanbaatar: Yep. Now leave our team Wobuffet alone.
Sitri: I try so hard to be cool and now I'm a playboy...?
Ulaanbaatar: Playboy to be, but details!
Gouryou: Seth's part of the team too, but we can slot you in elsewhere.
Sitri: I'm supposed to be a cool badass!
Gouryou: Just kidding, tee hee.
Purple Merman: Hey what the fu--
Typhon: Oh right, ass whuppin' time!
Pick Up Gang: Now line up your asses!
MC: what / Sitri, I'm here to help! / Sitri help me!
---
(C) Schrodinger's hostage!
---
Sitri: Senpai!?

Later
Sitri: ...and that's why Senpai and I are late.
Explanation time
Sitri: Worried? ...sorry.
MC: Sanzo, why are you here? / we should tell Motosumi / you've been a baaaad boy
---
(A) Sanzo: I'M SORRRRRY! ...MC? Why are you here?
(B) Sanzo: NOOOO! He'll beat me up!
(C) Sanzo: o-oh, what are you planning to do to me? I might be down for that!
---
Sitri: MC-senpai, you need better friends!
Sanzo: (GASP!)
Volkh: Impressive bravery and initiative in saving him, Sitri.
Sitri: Huh? B-but I needed help too. I just happened to be small enough to sneak in.
Ashigara: You'll grow bigger soon! I was a little squirt when I was younger too!
Alberich: Tee hee, and you could be giant if a fairy curses you. Size doesn't really matter, it's how you use yourself honey!
Hermes: Wow, rude. Weird coming from me, yeah but still. Anyways, nice going Sitri. I was wrong to treat you like any other kid.
Volkh: Indeed, welcome back oh brave warrior.
Sitri: Guys...
Time to change the subject!
MC: So like, why's the rest of the pick up gang here?

Gouryou: Oh, NOW you ask!?
Typhon: Y'all I thought we were bein' ignored!
Ulaanbaatar: Oh MC, you scamp.
Sitri: You know these weirdos too?
Volkh: That said, I must thank them as well.
Gouryou: Nah, we oughta thank you for saving Sanzo since he brought us over. Tianzun suggested we all go to this event, though we came to look for hotties! But then Aegir grabbed us and told us to manage some pirates as assassins and bring back any cool people.
Typhon: Cool times tho!
Ulaanbaatar: Yep! Too bad we struck out with literally everyone!
Sanzo: J-just so you know I was just hoping someone would hit on ME sightseeing. And then, um. That happened. My sexy summer is getting ruined!
MC: damn, you're a trouble magnet / Impure thot / (pat Sanzo)
(A) Sanzo: at least try to make me feel better!
(B) Sanzo: N-no I'm not! Look me in the eyes and see how pure I am!
(C) Sanzo: O-oh, does that mean you like me? Go on, pat me wherever you want!

Gouryou: But yeah, Sanzo disappeared on us again and then Sitri came running by, so we figured we'd follow him.
Typhon: And then we lost him. But then we followed the feathers he dropped!
Sitri: Oh. Right. That's a thing that happens.
Ulaanbaatar: Welp! Funny how those mermen turned out to be super intense scouts!
Ashigara: what
Ulaanbaatar: yeah they wanted people to join their blitzball team
Volkh: ...makes sense why someone would want impressive men like him.
Sanzo: (GASP! Does that mean Volkh wants me like that!? Is he gonna drag me to his bed and ravish me tonight!?)
MC: well if you guys are assassins, are we gonna fight or something?
Gouryou: You expect me to WORK or something!?
Focused Gouryou
Gouryou: But why not a little nighttime fun at least?

Later
Night time market fun!
Ashigara: Oh my god, awesome seafood gratin!
Sitri: Spicy seafood garlic pizza!
Ashigara: Eat up, Sitri! Gotta get bigger and stronger!
Gouryou: Niiiice. Can't outeat us that easy tho. New order, my man!
Volkh: So, how are we supposed to win an eating contest?
MC: they just wanna eat. it's all cool though / I'm sensing a new event plot pattern!
Volkh: True. Also this shish kebab is amazing, along with the herbal seasoning!
Challenge ditched, party time!
Alberich: Hmm. I'm like 99% sure I never tried to pick hotties up but strike out, but I can guess how that goes. Well tonight's dinner is on me, boys!
Gouryou: I'm not THAT much of a loser! The asking out alone is pretty fun, and the group time is cool on its own. Not that I'll turn down any one night stands, hehehe...
Alberich: Boys, let me give you a little kingly wisdom here. If no one gives you the time of day, just BUY their love! Not like it's worth anything anyways, haha!
Gouryou: Oh my god, Andvari Alberich!?
Ulaanbaatar: Kinda wild but cool in its own way?
Sitri: You playboys are so uncool! But you also saved me, so hmm...
Ulaanbaatar: Well that couldn't happen without you!
Typhon: Yeah, thanks to you we found Sanzo again!
Gouryou: You became a hero yourself.
Sitri: How do you manage to be so uncool and cool at the same time!?
Hermes: It's all good. Now that aside, you guys have our next event plot hint, right?
Gouryou: Oh right, this thingy! Forgot about it. (tosses to Hermes)
MC: Welp. What's it say?

Another map parchment! The party takes a look.
Ashigara: Is that music notayshun???
Alberich: Party song? Hit it, Hermes!
Hermes: ...it's not a real song. So it must be code.
Volkh: Makes sense.
Hermes: This one's not too bad to figure out.
Sitri: ...so what's it say?
Thinking Hermes
Hermes: ...treasure at the island we're heading towards apparently.
Alberich: Ooh, we'll be done that fast!? Way to go, honey!
Volkh: That's nice, but why encode it then?
MC: You sure? / sus / (stare at Hermes)
(A) Hermes: ...totally sure.
(B) Hermes: Hey, I didn't lie.
(C) Hermes: ...what? I spoke the truth.

Hermes: Anyways, we're heading towards the end goal.
Hermes puts the new parchment away and Looks at the Plot Ring Aegir gave earlier. Nobody notices.
Ashigara: Celebration drink! Get the treasure, then go home! Cheers!
Sanzo: I have to get home quick too! Kids are great and I am failing as a father figure!
Sitri: Already!? What a loser!
Gouryou: Sanzo, chill! I mean I guess this is partly my fault too. Figured Singularity time flow differences would bend for us.
Typhon: Yeah. We liked havin' ya with us, Sanzo.
Ulaanbaatar: Why not go straight in the morning, stay the night here and party?
Sanzo: YOU GUYS
Sitri: ...I guess there's all kinds?
Alberich: Celebrate with us, Sanzo!
Volkh: We may as well stay on land tonight.
Alberich: Somebody bring all the food and drinks! Daddy's having fun tonight~!

The next morning
Gouryou: Mkay, good luck with the treasure hunt.
Typhon: Now wish us luck in findin' hotties!
Ulaanbaatar: Sanzo's cool, I'll take him home.
Sanzo: Um, Sitri? Thanks again for saving me. I can't believe I was almost shanghaied into a blitzball team!
Sitri: It's cool. Go home and see those kids.
Sanzo: (cries projectile tears) WAAAH, YOU'RE A GOOD KID
Gouryou: Geez, calm down! But anyways, time to say bye.
The pick up gang lines up and waves.
Pick Up Gang: See ya!
And so the Alberich sails off into the distance.
Sitri: Okay that was way more involved than I expected. Still fun though. But also it feels like bad luck for loser playboys to see us off...
Hermes: Oh you, overthinking it. Time to head north!
Ashigara and Sitri: (GASP!)
Sitri: wait why am I surprised
Ashigara: Y-yeah, same!
MC: aww, you grew up a bit Sitri
Thinking Sitri
Sitri: I guess I'm a little braver? Sure, going out into the world's scary but also kinda fun. Maybe I have taken a little control of the helm of my metaphorical ship.
Decisive Sitri
Sitri: Speaking of, I'm going to the wheelhouse now! Set sail for the north!
Pretty sea, heading towards the future. Excited young boy, and in the distance, a surprise storm...
End of Episode 

Afterschool Treasure Odyssey Episode 2 Part 1 (Abridged)

Gunzo: I can't believe we have to fight to actually continue this event. Does this mean the other team got attacked too? Oof.
Team Gunzo is talking over breakfast.
Motosumi: Eh, they're strong. Maybe the shorty's worth worrying over.
Tetsugyuu: Boss is there, it's cool! I wanna see Boss!
Ikutoshi: Shouldn't we focus on our team?
Motosumi: Damn, you're pretty serious for a kid. It's normal to care about people you know.
Ikutoshi thinks while blowing on some coffee.
Ikutoshi: ...it's not like I don't care at all. I have my own reasons to worry about Sitri.
Motosumi: Like what?
Ikutoshi: He's good, but inexperienced and not confident in himself. Which kinda bugs me. But then, that's why he's here.
Motosumi: Damn bro, harsh much on someone your age bracket?
Ikutoshi: I guess? I have my own daddy issues too.
Motosumi: Oh yeah your dad teaches karate at Kudan, huh?
Ikutoshi: Yeah, and he'd call me a scrub if he saw my skills now. I used to think I couldn't catch up...
Ikutoshi's artifact glows.
Ikutoshi: But I'm better than that now. I know it's a bigger world now, so it bugs me seeing Sitri not know.

MC's ship
Sitri: I'm done polishing the ship!
Alberich: Ooh, how about I dub you deck captain?
Ashigara: WHAT? Sitri's getting a captain title ahead of me!?
Sitri: Mkay, gonna check the on board weapons and plumbing next.
Sitri's been working hard. Hermes and Volkh have opinions on this.
Hermes: What's up with him?
Volkh: He seems to be trying to find more work than assigned to him. MC, any ideas why?
MC: Well...
Flashback!
Yasuyori: Oh right, we have something to give you!
Takeminakata: Indeed.
Morning after the party from a few days ago. Yasuyori and Takeminakata pull stuff out.
Hermes: Where'd you hide this stuff!?
Volkh: Hmm, parchment paper. A map addition showing some islands to the north?
Alberich: And a star map of asterisms?
MC: Oh, like the Summer Triangle and stuff?

Hermes: Yep. Something's weird though... oh right, Sirius isn't on this thing.
Sitri: You know that?
Hermes: Stuff I picked up through camping.
MC: Did the Cafe Asterism people teach you this?
Hermes: ...learned it long ago so I could travel even alone. Figured we could see the stars in another world's sea.
Volkh: True. I've been staring at the moon a lot, myself.
Hermes: Hmm, if we put it all together it marks this northernmost island's perimeter. Guess that's our next stop.
Volkh: You seem skilled at Spycraft. Also I don't think we have enough supplies to reach those coordinates.
Alberich: So we should make port at this closer island for resupply! Maybe!
Sitri and Ashigara: Whoa...
MC: Whoa... / I got that! / oh no I was useless...
Sitri: I'd have taken days to figure any of that out...
MC: It's okay, you're a kouhai, just watch us / Behold, Ashigara-senpai!
---
(C) Ashigara: Yeah, I'd have taken months to get any of that! I mean, what!?
---
Sitri: But Ashigara-senpai is at least good at fighting. I'm just dragging you guys down...
Hermes: Pffft, we all have our own skillsets. And you're still just a kid.
Volkh: Just a kid is no reason to look down on someone. He is with us, so he can be a mighty warrior even as a small babe!
Sitri: (GASP!) 

Present
Hermes: ...oh, it's our fault? I just wanted to say it's no big deal.
Volkh: Indeed. I approve of him, but perhaps being treated as a child bothered him. I thought he did well enough before...
MC: he's just at that age / wait, what do you guys think of me!?
Hermes: So, what now? We shouldn't just leave him alone.
Volkh: But we cannot just blindly talk to him either. We might just have to wait and see. On a team, there is no need to be strong at everything.
That night, Sitri doesn't really feel like sleeping
Sitri: Damn. Maybe I'll go for a walk.
Ashigara and Alberich are snoring. Volkh is leaning against the wall. Sitri sneaks out and bumps into MC.
Sitri: Oh. Right, time to change watch. Alberich's out cold, even though he said being attacked in our sleep would be the worst thing ever.
MC: Can't sleep? / wanna stargaze together? / amuse me!
(A) Sitri: Yeah... can't stop thinking. This never happened before!
(B) Sitri: Uh, not really my thing. And is sucks, but I kinda respect Hermes now.
(C) Sitri: W-what? You need me? Well alright, at least until Alberich wakes up.

Companionable silence.
Sitri: ...the sea's creepy at night, huh. And it drives in how small you are sometimes. But Ashigara-senpai and Volkh are so big.
Sitri looks down into the water.
Sitri: I'm jealous of everyone. You're strong, Hermes is good with his hands, and Alberich has his unwarranted self-importance. I'm the worst at taking command of things, and I'm unsure of where to go with my life... uh, sorry to dump on you Senpai!
MC: It's cool
Frowning thinking Sitri.
Sitri: ...I've been thinking of transferring over to Shinjuku. But I'm starting to wonder if chasing after my models is really the kind of badass I want to be. Am I really ready to be an almost adult?
Genuinely concerned Sitri.
Sitri: Every choice seems wrong, but then I found out about this event and thought clearing it would help. It's not that easy though. Mom said Dad's amazing, whatever it is he does for work. I don't think I'll ever be as good as him, or anyone else.

Hermes wanders by.
Sitri: Oh.
Hermes: Oh hey. Stargazing?
Sitri: Um. Couldn't sleep.
Hermes: Too much coffee at dinner, kiddo? It's cool, you're growing. But you gotta sleep too or--
Sitri: Thanks Captain Obvious.
Sitri leaves, offended.
Hermes: Damn, did I mess it up?
MC: Sure did, Captain Obvious / he's a sensitive boy / sus
---
(A) Hermes: Damn. Barguest gets mad when I talk to Kenta like all the time. My life was so different at his age.
(B) Hermes: Oh, he's at THAT age. Sure I was a shit back then, but I still hated lectures too.
(C) Hermes: ...kid's sharp. Partly because he's just like that and partly his power. He'd get along great with Tajikarao. But the biggest factor is my attitude towards you. If you weren't here I could just--whatever, I still messed up.
---
Hermes: Geez, I'll try to make it up to him.
Hermes thinks, then grabs some mandolin from storage.
Hermes: Right, chill tunes... what? No, not with my artifact. It'd just react badly. Time for a Performance roll!

Later
Sitri: That jackass.
Volkh: You seem upset.
Sitri: Oh sorry, did I wake you?
Volkh: No, I've always been a light sleeper. Can't sleep deeply because of old habits. If you can't sleep, you should still lie down and--oh.
Music from somewhere.
Volkh: Hermes? Rather relaxing music.
Sitri: !! ...jerk. Being all shifty but playing music so honestly.
Sitri: (stares)
Sitri: ...thanks Volkh. Good night.
Sitri falls asleep listening to the music.

The next day, the party docks to resupply and fix up the ship. Progress, then break time!
Ashigara: Naptime on solid land!
Alberich: Ooh, reading!
Volkh: Supply inspection! Herbs and greenery of other worlds is so fascinating.
MC: Maybe I'll join Ashigara / Maybe I'll join Alberich / Maybe I'll join Volkh
---
(A) Ashigara: Nice! Let's find a tree to lie under and feel the breeze!
(B) Alberich: Girl, you too? You can read one of my books and we can pour some tea!
(C) Volkh: You have interest in that too? Ahem, very well then.
---
Hermes: Hey Sitri? So about yesterday...
Sitri: I'mcheckingoutthetown, kthanksbye
MC: Hey wait, me too!
Volkh: Oh. Be careful you two! Be back by sundown!

Later
Tourist Sitri
Sitri: I feel so grown up checking out an isekai town! ...Hermes wanted to apologize, didn't he? And here I am being bratty running off to sulk. But I shouldn't be indecisive! So, more sightseeing!
MC: Sure.
Sitri psyches himself up. Then someone walks over.
Sanzo: Yes, I'm finally alone! If people hit on me, it won't be my fault. N-not that I want people to, totally. But SOMETHING is bound to happen, right?
Sitri: F Boy spotted. Wait, isn't he from Tokyo?
Green Merman: Hey big boy~. You like, doing anything right now?
Sanzo: (OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING)
Black Merman: Whoa, big catch there!
Sanzo: (Oh my god am I popular now!? Am I in my own LN harem fantasy!?)
Blue Merman: Okay, so. You got a nice bod.
Sanzo: (GASP!) Y-you mean you want me LIKE THAT!?
Sitri: F Boy needs some standards! Let's pretend we didn't see anyone that uncool.
Blue Merman: Just shut up and come with us! (throws net)
Sanzo: Okay this is escalating a bit too fast for m--AAAAAA
Black Merman: Okay boys, take him to the usual and we can split the take.
The mermen leave.
Sitri: Wait, did we just see an actual kidnapping!? W-what do we do!?
MC: Split up and flank them!
Sitri: Wha--no, we have to help. But what if I get caught--wait, we should call for help--but there's no time!
MC: It's okay, we'll do what we can! Start by getting attention!
Sitri: R-right, after them!

Sitri runs after the mobs but gets locked out of their hideout!
Sitri: Damn. Also I'm outnumbered so I should ambush them somehow...
Sitri looks up.
Sitri: Oh, a little window I can squeeze through!
Inside
Sanzo: HELP! Buddha is punishing me for being too hot!
Purple Merman: (slap) stfu
Sanzo: I'MSORRYI'MSORRY HELP
Red Merman: Stop crying and listen, you big stupid bozo!
Sitri: (oof are they pirates too?)
Watching Sitri
Sitri: (crap, what now? I don't have the stats or skills anyone else in the team has! I wasn't even brave enough to come alone...)
Teeth grinding Sitri
Sitri: (Wait, never mind that. MC-senpai is counting on me!)
Sitri: I just have to do it!
Sitri flies down and makes a dramatic landing!
Sitri: Stop right there, criminal scum! No putting hands on playboys on my watch!
Sanzo: An angel!?
Sitri: Demon actually, but here to help!
Black Merman: Where'd he come from!?
Green Merman: Hmm. Actually he might not be that bad in the future.
Blue Merman: Get him!
Sitri: (Gotta be brave like Volkh!) I'll show you guys some REAL smooth moves!
BATTLE START 

Live A Hero Special Episode: Sixth Anniversary Celebration (Abridged)

Girl on a motorcycle rides up to a fancy hotel in the north side of Orient City!
Xeno Melide: Nice air up here.
Xeno Melide stretches and looks at the motorcycle sidecar.
Xeno Melide: So how was my driving, MC?
MC: Great! / maybe a little too fast / I'm gonna hurl
(A) Xeno Melide: Cool. You're the best, Aterrid.
Aterrid: My pleasure, queen, MC.
(B) Xeno Melide: Oh. Well we did obey the traffic laws, right Aterrid?
Aterrid: Yes. I went faster because I thought the wind would feel better that way.
(C) Xeno Melide: Oh. Maybe we need to adjust the sidecar, Aterrid.
Aterrid: Understood.

Aterrid changes forms when Zeno Melide and MC get off.
Aterrid: We are now 20 minutes early by taking that detour.
Xeno Melide: Nice. But also, wow we're early. Maybe we're too early for the party. What do we do?
MC: What's the party for anyways? / I wasn't told a thing
---
(A) Aterrid: Unfortunately we weren't informed. President Huckle seemed to know, though.
---
Xeno Melide: I don't think anyone else knows besides the president either. Weird. Oh, what if it's a welcome party for me and Aterrid?
MC: Maybe / A surprised? / how self-serving
Aterrid: But we were sent over before the party starts.
Xeno Melide: Oh, right. Maybe Huckle wants us to greet people in his place then? Let's ask if we can go in.

Everyone gets sent to the top floor. Big lounge, but nobody there. But there's voices behind a big door on the other side of the room.
MC: Well, the staff sent us over but said nothing. They smiled like they know something though.
Xeno Melide: Hmm... how am I supposed to behave then?
Aterrid: Eight life forms detected. Shall I analyze further?
Xeno Melide: Thanks, but no. Also this place is huge. Just eight people set this up?
MC: Oof. Maybe we should help?
Naughty Zeno Melide.
Xeno Melide: I suppose we don't have any other choice, what a shame~.
Aterrid: ...President Huckle ordered us not to go in.
Xeno Melide: Oh, we won't open the door. We'll just go in together with some staff members and help out. Like any proper hero should.
Aterrid: Hmm, impressive insight my queen.
MC: welp I'm convinced / hmm... / stop agreeing with her on everything
Xeno Melide: Time to go in!

At the door
???: Wait, crap! They're here already!?
Some guy's voice. Then lots of thumping.
MC: I recognize that voice...
Kyoichi: Um, hey guys! Wow you're early.
MC: Hey Kyoichi! / You didn't have to rush over...
---
(B) Kyoichi: Nah, it's cool. Just... reasons and stuff.
---
Aterrid: Thank you for inviting us. Apologies for being here early.
Xeno Melide: Wait, MC. You know him?
Inside
Flamier: Oh, is it that time already?
Obsidius: Damn, we didn't get to everything in time after all.
Heroic Educators is here and almost done decorating the room.
MC: Whoa! You guys are hosting?
Santetsu: More or less. Long time no see, MC.
Roiker: Hmm. Could you wait outside?
Marfik: Kicking them out feels weird though.
Shoen: Agreed.
MC: Sorry, are we in the way? You guys seem almost done though.
Obsidius: N-no, it's cool! Just feeling a little awkward!
Marfik: Calm down, you're making it obvious how awkward it is.
Toshu: ...as you can see, we aren't done. Could you sit down and wait?
Zeno: Oh, we were about to offer to help set up.
Toshu: Oh. Well we have enough people, thank you.
Aterrid: But more people would be better for such a big space.
Toshu: Just sit down and be silent!
Roiker: Calm down. But as hosts, we can't ask the guests to help.
Kyoichi: Yeah, that. Thanks though.
Xeno Melide: !! ...oh, sorry for being rude. Alright, let's go you two.
MC: Okay. Hmm...?

Later
Aterrid: I brought drinks.
MC: Thanks. I didn't know you had a cart function. I should probably wait on the beer.
Xeno Melide: Thank you, Aterrid. They're bringing a lot of food out now, so there's that many people coming?
Aterrid: So it seems. I also heard reports of other guests bringing presents and catering.
MC: More food? / Is it someone's birthday or something?
---
(BC) Xeno Melide: Dunno. It's not mine or Melide's at least.
---
Ding, elevator's arrived! A loud voice shouts upon spotting you guys.
Barrel: Wow, MC! You're already here!?
MC: Barrel! Wow your tail is wagging hard!
Barrel: I'm just that excited! Because--
Turbak: No, Barrel! You said you'd wait until everyone was here!
Barrel: Oh, right! But also--(muffled)

Roudain: Dang, Barrel. Were your lips always this loose?
Roudain is holding Barrel's mouth closed. Until...
Roudain: Oh wow, I just pulled a mayo chip out of your mouth.
Barrel: Wow, how'd that happen!?
Turbak: It's bigger than your hands! And the mayo came from my bag!
MC: Turbak, Roudain! / Everyone / Wow, magic on such short notice!
Turbak: Hello, good to see you doing well?
Roudain: Hey. This party setup is bringing back memories. Look, we brought presents.
Barrel: We made them ourselves together!
MC: Stall food! Ooh, the sauce... so that's why you brought mayo along!
Turbak: Yep, use all you want later!
Roudain: You are the special guest, after all. Have fun with it all.
Kyoichi: Hey, bring any food you got this way!
Team Stella Link Carnival walks off.
Xeno Melide: ...so this is your party, eh?
MC: Apparently, but why...?

Ding, next set of guests incoming!
Farden: Oh hey, MC! I saw you just a few weeks ago.
Genji: ...hey. Farden bugged me into coming. You look alright. And is that... that one girl's relative?
Xeno Melide: Oh you know this world's Melide? I'll just say sort of and leave it at that.
MC: Farden, Genji! / yeah that's surprising / you came all this way from Cogsden!?
---
(C) Farden: Yeah, that's just how big this party is!
---
Farden: We brought stuff from Cogsden too!
Farden pulls out some bag, then looks at Genji.
Genji: ...what? Don't expect anything from me.
Flamier: Oh hello Sir Genji! Thank you for coming. Your package of food made it safely.
Genji: Did you have to say that out loud!? You didn't need to thank me!
Flamier: But I do! So much high quality sushi. There's still some time before the party, so please make yourselves comfortable. Excuse me.
Farden: Wow, you went hard for a guy who said he didn't want to come...
MC: So what's in the bag? / you bought expensive sushi? I feel kinda bad now
(A) Farden: I'll show you later! It's not food though.
(BC) Genji: Just shut up and take it, whippersnapper!

Farden: Oh yeah, Vulpecula sent us a message before we came here.
Farden pulls out some cube thing.
Farden: He just said to pull it out when I see you, but I don't know what this is. Ah!
bwoop
Vulpecula: Hello MC.
Genji: A projector? You indirect jackass.
Vulpecula: What kind of villain just walks into a celebration party full of heroes? Still, I do owe you a well wishing, so I made this video. Come find me if you're ever tired of civilian life!
Aterrid: ...how does he know about this party?
MC: I dunno... / Thanks, Vulpecula / being popular is hard, man

Sterio: Woof woof, hello MC! Congrats!
MC: Sterio! / this feels familiar / wow you came from so far away!
Canes: Sterio you promised we'd all say hi together! But yes, hello MC!
Rastaban: Heyo! I brought presents!
Denebora: We almost crashed the space truck somehow...
Xeno Melide: You people smell funny. Did you go to the sea?
Canes: Oh, I'm sorry! Is it from our change of clothes?
Rastaban: Well we did bring a fish tank. Can we borrow a shower?
MC: wait what do you mean fish tank
Sterio: We brought a fish for celebrations from Muirauqa IV! Isaribi showed us how to fish!
Canes: Apparently it's better kept fresh, but...
Rastaban: We crashed the spaceship when we hit Earth's atmosphere. The fish is still okay though.
Denebora: We all got soaked though. I just bought that ship...
MC: Oof. Is the ship rusting now?
Rastaban: Cheer up, Denebora. I can pay for the sheet cleaning at least.
Canes: Yeah, thinking driving back in that fish stink makes me want to puke.
Denebora: ...thanks, but we should focus on the celebration first.
Sterio: Yeah, Rastaban wanted to thank you for the Christmas thing!
Rastaban: Yeah!
Canes: We brought recipes for it too, so look forward to that!

Conche: Hello and congratulations, MC! I brought lots of sweets!
MC: Hi Con--why do you smell like alcohol!?
Conche: WHAT?
Moriyasu: Oh that's because of us, haha. We were giving him stuff to bake with!
Astosis: My apologies, Moriyasu insisted on a drink before we arrived.
MC: Moriyasu! Astosis! / you had a party without me...? / you drank before me!?
---
(C) Moriyasu: Haha, whoopsies. Got excited about one of my brews getting complimented.
---
Moriyasu: It's cool, nothing I drank before is in here. The party's just starting!
Astosis: You have already drank three times the amount I did. Still, maybe it's fine considering today.
Conche: Right, we all worked hard for this party for you MC, so I hope you like it!
Moriyasu: Oh right, what happened to the stuff you were working on?
Conche: ...oh no, I forgot it in the car!
Santetsu: ...hmm, aren't we missing someone from that event?
MC: Oh right, you were there too / hmm...
Astosis: Wasn't she with us when we got into the elevator?
Kirsch: Hey guys, I brought the thing!
Conche: How are you holding that rack on your back!? So pro...
MC: please don't be like her / such Acrobatics! / Yay, Kirsch!
Kirsch: Oh yeah, Marcias sent his new brand product too!
Conche: Wow he's so nice after all he did!
Xeno Melide: (stares)
Aterrid: Something wrong, my queen?
Xeno Melide: No, I just get what kind of party this is now. Did MC? Not that I'll say either way.

Reticul: Hello again MC! Feels like I always see you in big places lately.
MC: Hey Reticul, haven't seen you since the space station / you actually got time off!?
---
(C) Reticul: Sure the work is important, but time off requests process fast in our office.
---
Gengetsu: Hey MC, haven't seen you since the Frontier Node.
Andrew: I hear all about you all over the universe.
MC: Gengetsu, Andrew! You both have presents!
Gengetsu: Well yeah, this is your day. Look, I got you super popular fried chicken!
Reticul: And you call yourself a doctor. Anyways, I got you this.
MC: A new space communicator? How's it work?
Reticul: I'm glad you asked! It's a new product from Zero Trust using--
Gengetsu: No one cares about the technobabble!
Reticul: Excuse you, no interruptions from the class dunce.
Andrew: Now now, no fighting! Also, I got you a bouquet from the moon, mundane as that might be.
MC: Aww, thanks guys... wait, someone's missing.
Gengetsu: Oh, Xeno Akashi or whatever?
Andrew: I tried talking to him. He said he couldn't leave his next job.
Gengetsu: He didn't have to be such a stiff about it. Beep.
Reticul: wait what
Xeno Akashi: (appears on phone) ...how'd you get my number?
MC: Akashi! Wow, you actually answered.
Gengetsu: Funny what sorta info you find lying around space station terminals.
Reticul: this seems like a workplace violation
Gengetsu: Anyways, aren't you gonna say something to MC?
Xeno Akashi: ...not in front of you guys, at least. I'm blocking your calls.
MC: aww...
Xeno Akashi: ...are you messing with me on purpose? Fiiine, have fun with your friends... Hey I can see the rest of you smirking, assholes.

Yvaga: Yoooo, congrats MC! Quick, selfie time! Can I post this on Space Twitter?
Roiker: That's literally the first thing you say and do? How rude are you?
Ruchbath: Aw, let him have some fun. He's been so excited the whole trip. On that note, hey again MC. First time meeting IRL, huh?
MC: Ruchbath, Yvaga! / yessss Ruchbath in the flesh / thanks for coming, you two!
---
(B) Ruchbath: Eh, it's not that different from cyberspace. Hi five?
(C) Yvaga: It's cool! I'd dump my entire schedule for you!
---
Ruchbath: So like, presents now? Presents now. Here you go, a bunch of random space resort souvenirs. Resort touring is kinda my thing.
MC: ooh
Yvaga: I made a card you can use at the Ether Searcher!
Roiker: What? You're seriously giving them something like that?
Yvaga: Yep! Helped a lot in a buncha development stuff. It's a free pull ticket!
MC: Wow! / How do I buy more!? / omg thanks
Ruchbath: Oh right, one other thing before I have to split.
Yvaga: Shitatori's video letter? He can be so fussy about manners at times.
Ruchbath: He said giving it in person would be complicated. Anyways... (click)
Shiratori: Hello and congratulations MC. My apologies for not saying so in person, but I can't bring myself to mingle with everyone at this time. I figured I could at least send this message though, so I wish you all the best today. Goodbye.
Ruchbath: And that's just the intro clip. Read the letter later.
MC: so polite... / too bad he won't just go back to hero stuff / okay that looks big

Finally Team Parallel Flight shows up!
Huckle: Hey. Sorry we're late.
Ryekie: Everyone else in the office is now here!
MC: LATE! / Wow, so many people are here.
Huckle: Wait, MC, you're already in here?
Xeno Melide: Yeah, things happened. Everyone who came knew MC. I'd have appreciated being let in on things to keep the surprise.
Arterid: I do not think that would have worked, my queen.
Huckle: I guess these things just happen.
Crowne: Oh well, what's it matter anyway?
MC: So just to check, what's the party for?
Exio: ...I didn't think you couldn't put two and two together.
Yoshiori: Heh. Buncha stiffs.
Melide: Wow, what a fancy party.
Monomasa: Maybe a little too fancy on the decor.
Kyoichi: Heh, well we already got the space beforehand so...
Flamier: We thought maybe we could go even harder than last year for MC's sake.
Obsidius: So we got this big ol' box! From all of us!
Akashi: We don't know what kinda party this is either.
Sui: Mokdai knows but he's keeping quiet like a jerk.
Mokdai: WOW RUDE! This party is for you guys too! I just didn't want to ruin the surprise! Anyways, go in you three.

Akashi, Sui, and MC go to some stage in the center of the room. Everyone gets together.
Huckle: Thank you everyone for making time to come in your busy schedules and for setting up this party. I hope we continue to work well together from here on out.
Everyone turns to Akashi, Sui, and MC.
Ryekie: You guys have grown well this year!
Huckle: It's been tough, but you still kept going.
Mokdai: And now you've made all these bonds.
Xeno Melide: ...right, we came in the middle of one of those battles.
Aterrid: And that is why we are here now.
Roiker: We may get thrown into even bigger struggles, but we won't lose heart.
Santetsu: Your connections will help you, as will we.
Shoen: May you have find ever more connections.
Toshu: We will always be happy to lend you our aid.
Marfik: On that note, toast time! Akashi, Sui, MC! To another brilliant year!
Everyone: Congratulations on Year 6!
End of Episode 

Live A Hero Health Check Crisis Episode 3 (Abridged)

Flashback!
Rasalhague: Beep boop, 10,000th virtual examination completed. Algorithmn defect detected, requesting developer feedback.
Researcher A: Okay, tomorrow.
Rasalhague: Understood.
Researcher A: Damn, it's not even a week and Rasalhague's done so much.
Engineer B: Yeah, and so developed to take patient emotional state into account like a real person!
Medic C: Tronesion tech is amazing.
Rasalhague: ...
Rasalhague (narrating): I was created in a computer room and trained endlessly. First ship operation and maintenance, then medicine. Medicine wasn't originally part of the plan, but then I looked up a medical database while talking to the techs and they thought it'd be a good idea.
Medic C: Mkay, gotta turn in early. Can't oversleep on my day off with my kids.
Engineer B: Oh yeah, you're going on a family trip. Have fun!
Researcher A: God I wish I could go on my break already.
Rasalhague: "Break?" ...keyword found in search, no detailed entry.
Rasalhague (narrating): So many unknown concepts and nuances in language were still unknown to me. Like break. So I linked up to external networks to learn why. I don't know if that was a good idea still.

Title Card: You Fear Nothing, Don't You?

Present
???: Full body exercise!
???: Deep breathing!
???: HELP WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
???: Relaxation techniques!
???: OH NO
Health zombie brainwashed heroes are chasing unbrainwashed people all over the Ophiucus 1! MC and Bygul keep running away until they find somewhere to sit down.
Bygul: okay it looks clear here... MC, you okay?
MC: yep / what about you? / tired...
(A) Bygul: Nice, guess people who get around train differently
(B) Bygul: I-I'm okay!
(C) Bygul: No surprise. But if we have to run, I can carry you!

Bygul: !! Someone's coming!
MC and Bygul check the hallway...
Red: Health guidance, health guidance!
Purple: HELP, PUT ME DOWN!
A wrestler with a blue collar and cuffs gets carried away by a wrestler with red collar and cuffs!
Bygul: ...okay they're gone. Wish we could've helped, but most everyone's a hero, and there's not supposed to be anything bad happening to them...right?
MC: oof / why's everything so crazy / is anyone sane around?
Bygul: Why's this happening? What's health guidance anyway?
MC: Can't be anything good. Is it what they're doing to whoever they grab?
Bygul: Dunno. Kinda scared to find out. I mean I try to be healthy even if my life is more indoors! I jog every day! What about you?
MC: Totally fine! / Guess I've been slacking off lately / unhealthy...
(A) Bygul: Yeah! Where do they get off with calling us unhealthy!?
(BC) Bygul: O-oh...

Bygul: WHY are they calling us unhealthy though?
Flashback!
Red: Blue collar? Unhealthy!?
Present
MC: Maybe the color of our collars?
Bygul: Oh wait, I do remember them yelling about that. But what's the standard for it though?
MC: Well we have to make a plan. We need help.
Bygul: R-right! Can you call anyone, MC? Preferably someone not on board!
MC: Umm...
MC checks their contacts. Ryekie's up first.
MC: I should call Justice!
ring ring
Ryekie: HEY MC, HOW'S THE MED EXAM!?
MC: Oh my god, quiet down! / my ears...
Ryekie: O-oh, sorry. I was just happy you called. Why are you calling, though? ...did something happen?
MC: Yeah! Okay so...

One explanation later
Ryekie: Excuse me, what???
MC: (shrug) / Whatever, we need help!
---
(AB) Ryekie: B-but anyways, I get you need help!
(C) Ryekie: R-right, that's the important thing!
---
Ryekie: Hang on, I'm--uckle--at the--
Connection dropping!
MC: Oh no!
Ryekie: ...!
Boop. Network connection lost.
MC: Damn! What was with the static though?
Bygul: Uh, are we getting help? Also, was that voice--
???: I heard something!
Red: (pops up) Health!
MC: OH NO
Bygul: We gotta go!
Bygul: (Okay I'm really worried about guarding MC alone and not getting any calls out, but I guess I have to!)

Later
Bygul: Did we lose him yet!?
MC and Bygul run around and end up at the lobby! They're about to hide when...
???: PUT ME DOWN, Y'ALL!
MC: Wait, that voice!
Furlong: It's okay Chief, you'll be healthy soon!
Rutilix: Potato nutrition facts!
Okitaka: Where y'all even takin' me!?
Furlong, Rutilix, and two randos are carrying Okitaka away somewhere!
MC: Okitaka! / Rutilix, Furlong!? / what
Bygul: wait you know all those people!? Are they crucifying him? I mean, they're taking him away!
MC: Help him! / Ugh, we gotta save him! / RIP Okitata
(AB) Bygul: Right!
(C) Bygul: How cold ARE you!?
Rutilix: Who's there!?
Bygul: Oops. Well since they found us anyways, let's save him!

Face off!
Furlong: MC, what's wrong? ...(gasp!) You're unhealthy!?
Rutilix: How terrible, Lord Sorceror! I was in the middle of looking for His Majesty since he hates vegetables! You need health guidance! And potatoes!
MC: Maybe we could reach Furlong if we had time? / Classic Rutilix / F in the chat, Your Majesty
---
(C) Bygul: Whomst? Is this an international incident now?
---
Okitaka: Help me, y'all!
Bygul: Oh right! Let him go!
Furlong: Chief needs guidance!
Rutilix: Yes, as do you two! Lay down your arms and surrender!
Bygul: WHY ARE YOU MAKING US SOUND LIKE CRIMINALS?
Rutilix: Give us Lord Sorceror and learn the virtues of the potato!
Bygul: Oh god he pulled out his sword! MC, transform me quick!
MC: Welp!

click
Bygul: Alright, come at me!
Rutilix: Oh. Very well then, CHARGE!
Furlong: Wait, slow down! Oh alright, you two hold the Chief! And give him stretches because he's been in the same posture for so long!
Red Trainee: Okay! Circulation!
Green Trainee: One of us! One of us!
Okitaka: OW WHAT
Okitaka is left hanging upside down as Furlong and Rutilix attack!
Bygul: Wait, 2v1!? AAAAAA
Rutilix uses Reckless Charge! Furlong uses Suppression Fire (Hose)! Bygul barely dodges!
Rutilix: What!? Do you not know how great potatoes are either!?
Furlong: No, we're trying to make them healthy, so hurting them is missing the point!
MC: A flash of sanity? Bygul, now!

Bygul: Right! Bygul Punch!
Rutilix: what--(punched)--OOF
Rutilix gets punched at the wall!
Furlong: Whoa. Are you saying no mercy? Then I'll go full power too!
Bygul: What!? Oh my god, calm down!
Trainee Red: I'm gonna help too! Gotta get those gains!
Okitaka: But I thought you two were supposed ta hang onto m--BWAH
Okitaka literally gets tossed aside!
Bygul: Oh no I'm even more outnumbered now! Also is that old man oka--AH!
Bygul gets attacked! No opening to fight back!
MC: Oh no!
Someone suddenly grabs MC from behind!
MC: OH NO
Rutilix: Fear not, Lord Sorcerer! I shall take care of you and never let you go!
MC: Let go actually! / I wanted that in other circumstances!

Rutilix: Now, this way Lord Sorc--(bonk)--AAAAAA
Rutilix gets knocked into a sofa and passes out! Then someone else holds MC!
Shidemasu: Hello, were you just about to be kidnapped?
MC: Shidemasu!
Bygul: That one guy! You're okay! And weirdly strong...
Shidemasu: I am just here to watch things, so I wasn't affected by the medical staff. But anyways this seems to be an emergency. Nobody is covered by my insurance, so who should I be helping? Except now I believe I think I know.
Shidemasu lets go of MC and steps forward.
Shidemasu: Will you temp contract me for the duration of this incident? I will be sure to keep you safe.
MC: You're a hero!? / Nice! / Please help!
(BC) Bygul: You're a hero too!?

Shidemasu: Oh, I didn't say? I'm with S&S Heroes. But as we are in a hurry, here is the contract.
beep boop contract signed
Shidemasu: Very well then, please transform me. It would be difficult to fight otherwise.
MC: Okay! I'm surprised you could manage anyways...
click! Hero Shidemasu!
Shidemasu: I am ready now.
MC: You're a long arm user!? / whoa / HOT
Trainee Green: New guy!? Well I'm not losing!
Trainee Red: Dental health!
Furlong: No mercy to anyone preventing health guidance!
Rutilix: Oof... I'll make you need potatoes as much as I do!
Shidemasu: Oh. Well this is convenient.
Shidemasu spins his staff and poses!
Shidemasu: Come. Any who threatens my charge will fly past the horizon.
Bygul: Are you ENJOYING this!? A-anywas, MC, we gotta fight!
Okitaka: y'all somebody please tell me what's happenin'
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Green Trainee: Aerobics is best done for at least 20 minutes!
Shidemasu: Thank you for sharing.
Shidemasu uses his staff to evade!
Green Trainee: Aah!
Shidemasu spins his evade into a knockout attack!
Red Trainee: Natto trivia!
Shidemasu: I don't like natto. Now please stop moving too.
Red Trainee: OOF! Tofu protein... (flop)
Down!
Shidemasu: Huh, how many has it been?
Shidemasu has a coughing fit before looking like usual.
Bygul: Uh, you okay?
Shidemasu: My apologies for worrying you. You're doing excellently for a newbie. But I will continue my duties for as long as the threat remains.
Shidemasu keeps smiling as he looks at Furlong and Rutilix.
Shidemasu: Oh, are we still going then?
Rutilix: WHAT ARE YOU
Furlong: You're scary! Scarier than medical exam results!
MC: holy crap what / Rutilix's knees are shaking / Furlong actually seems normal again

Bygul: You're a freak!
Shidemasu: Okitaka, do you need help?
Okitaka: N-nah I'm good. But get me outta here gently if ya please? Those are still my subordinates, even if they're done crazy.
Shidemasu: ...understood.
Shidemasu pulls Okitaka up. MC regroups with the party.
Shidemasu: Now, we'd best go before pursuers arrive.
Rutilix: W-wait, stop! Ugh, my legs!
Furlong: C-Chief! Please don't...
Shidemasu: We are leaving, okay? :)
Furlong: y-yes please don't hurt me
Bygul: Oh my god???
The party leaves.
Okitaka: Furlong...

Later
Okitaka: Oh. So the whole ship lost their marbles.
The party is hiding in some storeroom and catching Okitaka up to speed.
Okitaka: I DID think these collar things seemed weirdly tough for how simple they are. This ain't where I thought I'd be when I woke up today.
MC: So are they causing all this?
Okitaka: Just a theory tho. Maybe if we could talk to someone more involved? But there seems way to many red collar folks for that to explain things. How many crazy people are there?
Shidemasu: The reports say 13% based on device tracking.
Okitaka: Oh, so maybe these doohickeys do have mind control tech built in. Can we call up the computer controllin' them?
Shidemasu: Not at present. I've called Rasalhague multiple times to no response. I've called my office, but it doesn't seem to be a remote hacking. Then jamming came on and I lost contact with them.
MC: Oh yeah my call to Ryekie got jammed too maybe
Bygul: B-but you still got a call out? Maybe help is coming.
Shidemasu: ...unlikely. I was informed the ship is deploying an electromagnetic barrier. Any ships making contact might crash.
Okitaka: Oof.
Shidemasu: That said, the Ophiucus 1 seems to be in neutral airspace.
MC: So we're on our own?
Shidemasu: My agency and the Self Defense Force are trying to disable the barrier, but it seems difficult. Everyone's agencies should be convening for emergency countermeasures.

Meanwhile on a train to Nagoya
Gammei: Okay, what nonsense did I get called to this time?
Huckle: Something that's starting to concern the local police? You seem to know a lot of prefectural police people.
Gammei: So same shit, different day? And yeah I know people in Aichi and Mie. Also, aren't you worried about your own agency members being caught in this?
Huckle: Oh I am, especially as I don't know what's happening. But they're alive, and I doubt a medship incident would hurt people... And Okitaka is there.
Gammei: You sure trust him a lot. Sure he acts dumb, but he's sharp as they come.
Huckle: You'd actually describe your commander that way? You fear nothing, don't you?
Gammei: Well I trust him too. He's buying me drinks when this is done.
Huckle: ...you could be doing so much better than your current position.
Gammei: SHUT UP I JUST NEVER TOOK THE PROMOTION EXAM

Medship
Okitaka: Well Ichi and Gammei are outside, so...they prolly got a handle on things. We oughta figure out how to disable the barrier from inside.
Bygul: Oh, oh! I think checking Rasalhague's the fastest way to do that!
MC: Same. I mean, what else could we do?
Okitaka: ...nah, we don't have enough forces for that. Also, it'd be better to start fights... there's emergency escape pods, right? Maybe we can hack the systems to use those...?
Shidemasu: Wait, I have a manual... You are correct on all counts. Oh, using the pods also temporarily gives access to the ship's defense systems.
Okitaka: Okay, we got an out! Let's head there and try to keep callin' for help. If that don't work, we help whoever's in here and build up our ranks!
MC: Nice! / is this gonna work?
---
(C) Okitaka: Ain't like we got any better ideas. Let's just try it.
---
Okitaka: Lemme handle strategic planning. It's my UEHA job and all.
Bygul: Oh right, who are you really Okitaka?
Okitaka: Oh I didn't tell ya? UEHA Vice Commander Tadatono Okitaka. Pleased to meet ya!
Bygul: WHAT
Meanwhile, Main Computer Room
Rasalhague: Soon... Soon...
End of Episode 

Afterschool Treasure Odyssey Episode 1 Part 2 (Abridged)

Volkh: Your artifact gives you Invisibility AND Monstrous Strength?
Alberich: I know, sweet deal isn't it? I can take 12 men with this! Maybe! Okay maybe not. But I still become Super Alberich!
Volkh: Interesting. The invisibility bonuses are wasted when you yell like you did though.
Hermes: (That power combo sounds OP. Also sounds like it should be nerfed, so that's probably not its actual nature. Just gotta keep watch.)
Alberich: Fun fact, I can share Invisibility if I touch someone!
Ashigara: Oh my god really!?
MC: Make me invisible too! / Ooh, tactical options / Invisibility best power
(A) Alberich: Well if we keep going, it might happen, like, sometime. Alright dear! Just kiss my feet later and we'll make magic happen!
(B) Volkh: Indeed... if Captain Loudmouth could ever shut up.
(C) Hermes: ...well damn I can tell what you're thinking about. How do you keep clean with all that drool?

Sitri: I-it's a cool power, but sneaking with Invisibility isn't that badass though! ...but it's still more combat oriented than my Charm and Persuasion ability. Not really a sweeper's tool...
Alberich: That reminds me... did I ever make love potions? Ohohoho, I must have with pansies! Oh, the scandals I must have caused, maybe!
Volkh: A love potion with pansies!? Same as what Hippolytus did?
Sitri: Scandals, huh? I guess I've caused an incident like that...
MC: I think I remember that? I forget / (put a hand on Volkh's shoulder) / (put a hand on Sitri's shoulder)
(A) Sitri: So you were around for both those things, MC-senpai? Do you make these things happen!? But yeah, I wish I had a combat artifact! A romance one isn't badass!
(B) Volkh: Ow, one of my old scars!
Sitri: Wow... But yeah, I wish I had a combat artifact! A romance one isn't badass!
(C) Sitri: S-stop looking at me like that. I'm better at controlling my power since back then, but yeah I wish I had a combat artifact! A romance artifact isn't badass!

Alberich: I agree! Money and power is better than love!
Sitri: Wait, that's not what I was getting at...
Ashigara: I wish I had your power, Sitri! Popularity on demand!
Sitri: A big strong dude like you is a playboy too!?
Ashigara: (GASP!)
Hermes: I mean, sure love causes problems in a world ruled by love. Happens all the time in Olympus. But Alberich, why'd you make a love potion if you care about money more?
Alberich: Hmm...why indeed? Well whatever! Everything I said is true, maybe!
Hermes: Uh-huh. You caring about the gold here seems legit at least.
Volkh: On another note, what power do you have Hermes? I need to know for battle planning, like how MC has Severance and Ashigara has Restoration.
Hermes: Tee hee, details on yours first.
Volkh: W-what?
Hermes signals MC to keep quiet, then hums and changes the topic.
Hermes: Hey, I think we're close to the island on our map.
Ashigara: What? How can you tell if you never looked at it?
Hermes: We got birds flying around.

Later
Ashigara: Oh my god this beach is AWESOME!
Pretty beach.
Sitri: I can't believe Ashigara acts like a big boy...
Ashigara: Let's have fun Sitri! Forget about everything else!
Sitri: ...okay fine. N-not like I wanted to play on the beach or anything, baka.
Later
Sitri: OH MY GOD THE WATER'S SO CLEAR
Sitri and Ashigara are playing in the water! Alberich, Volkh, and MC are lying down on lounge chairs.
Alberich: The sea is beautiful, but salt water? Super gross on my skin. Also I can't reach my back to put on sunscreen to protect my luscious silky skin!
Volkh: I question laying back like this during a race, but I don't actually care that much about the treasure either. But this is much more relaxing than Kitezh's freezing cold. Cold drinks are great, but the sea breeze makes my fur stiff.
MC: (help Alberich) / (brush Volkh)
(A) Alberich: Well aren't you considerate for a peasant, dear? Alright, put your hands everywhere!
(B) Volkh: WHAT? ...alright I shall allow this, and not because you are good with your hands. A-ahem, you may touch my tail as well. Definitely not because your brushing feels good.

Alberich: Ahh, what a beautiful summer day! Just like me, maybe! ...wait, why are those mermaids calling me ugly? Ugh, they must not have eyes... ah! AAH! Flashbacks of questionable origins!
Suddenly Hermes comes back.
Hermes: I guess you DO have muddled memories. They're weirdly contradictory but somehow you don't seem to be lying. Oh well whatever, I'll just chill doing whatever.
MC: join us / pretty chill for someone after the treasure / (sus)
---
(A) Hermes: Sure.
(B) Hermes: Eh, I only care about it as much as you do. But for now, sea breeze!
(C) Hermes: What? Let's just sit here and enjoy the sea breeze.
---
Hermes: Good things come to those who wait, right? Not like we have leads, so we may as well wait for something to happen.
Hermes lies down. Sitri and Ashigara walk over.
Alberich: Mm, chill. Maybe I should smoke a pipe like Ahab!
Sitri: Hey, no smoking! Especially around minors!
Ashigara: Yeah!

Suddenly yelling!
???: DID SOMEONE SAY SUMO KING
Ashigara: (GASP!) That familiar voice!
Surprised party!
Yasuyori and Takeminakata are here!
Yasuyori and Takeminakata: Assassin Group 1 here!
Ashigara: WHAT
Hermes: Hey look something happened.
MC: Takeminakata! / Yasuyori! / Assassins? What?
(A) Takeminakata: MC! Today I am a beach boy instead of a city boy. I'd be both but I'm covered in sweat...
Yasuyori: I apologize for only being in fundoshi. I had something more summery but then picked something better for beach training...
Awkward duo.
Yasuyori: Ahem, Lord Aegir sent us to be assassins!
(B) Yasuyori: Hello Lord MC! Fitting summer wear you have. I apologize, my own summer wear got too sweaty...
Takeminakata: Same! Too bad it's hard to have something fashionable and summery for long...
Awkward duo.
Yasuyori: Ahem, Lord Aegir sent us to be assassins.
(C) Takeminakata: That's what Lord Aegir said, right Yasuyori?
Yasuyori: Indeed, we're here on his orders.

Yasuyori: We decided on our paths and signed on a summer job contract with Toyosu.
Ashigara: (GASP!)
Takeminakata: Yasuyori invited me along. Wow, now that I decided on my path I have so much time.
Ashigara: (GASP!)
Takeminakata: Then we got distracted training and didn't notice you here at first.
Yasuyori: Yes. I'm a little tired, but I'm warmed up!
Volkh: ...let's back up a moment. Aegir never mentioned anything like this to us.
Yasuyori: Oh! Lord Aegir stationed assassins like us along your treasure hunt paths!
Takeminakata: And if you beat us, we'll give you a hint on where to go!
Yasuyori: Also Lord Aegir let us set up our own challenges.
MC: welp
Yasuyori: And so we challenge you to beach sumo! But with a special rule in place!
Volkh: Which is?
Takeminakata: It'll be a 2v2 sumo match right here! Last one standing wins title of Sumo King!
Sitri: is that an actual sumo title?
Alberich: I see! As king, I shall witness this contest!
Yasuyori: If I may, I'll designate your participants: Ashigara and MC.
MC: Okay! / please go easy / but I'm the only sumo rookie involved!
Ashigara: How DARE you guys choose to leave me behind. See how resolved I am to stay back in school!
Yasuyori: excuse me?
Takeminakata: I dunno.
Yasuyori and Takeminakata: Oh well. Fight us!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Ashigara, Yasuyori, and Takeminakata: AAAAAA
Lots of body slamming!
Sitri: Wow... wait, we have to cheer on Senpai and Ashigara!
Ashigara: I'm staying back a year and nobody's gonna stop me!
Volkh: Such leg strength! All of them would be worth inviting to Setagaya. Too bad they've already decided on where to go, but at least it isn't Toyosu.
Alberich: Ohohoho, so this is sumo!
Hermes: Not really??? ...I'm glad I don't have to be in there. I coulda used Reversal to win it, but being in there is beyond dangerous!
MC: BITCH I'M ALREADY IN HERE / (too busy surviving to yell)

MC looks for an opening! Ashigara goes all in on a frontal assault!
Takeminakata: Oh no, Ashigara is pushing us back by himself now!
Yasuyori: Is that really his plan!?
Ashigara sees an opening!
Ashigara: SUMO THRUST!
Double ring out!
Ashigara: Whoo... ya see that!?
MC: OH NO GET OUT OF THE WAY
Ashigara: wait what? Oof! ...oh.
Ashigara gets pushed out the ring by MC's charge!
Sitri: A pushout from behind!?
Alberich: Oh, is it over? Ahem, I now pronounce MC the Beach Sumo King!
Ashigara: (GAAAASP!)
First set of assassins defeated! Ashigara goes to be depressed by the water.

Ashigara: I can't believe I got thrown out by a pushout from behind...
The other sumo wrestlers come to talk.
Yasuyori: Well done, Ashigara.
Takeminakata: Agreed!
Ashigara: I only won because you two were tired...
Takeminakata: I don't understand why you're all sad, but I'm looking forward to next time! Maybe our paths will cross again and we'll be teammates again.
Ashigara: wait...
Takeminakata: Yeah, maybe we'll find new friends next match!
Ashigara: Takeminakata... I...
Yasuyori: Ever since I entered Yoyogi, I believe the present matters for us all. And I hope you might start thinking so too one day.
Ashigara: Yasuyori...
MC: Yasuyori's right / it's still sad! / I'm on your side, Ashigara!

Ashigara: MC... so the present matters because I joined Yoyogi...
Ashigara thinks. Volkh puts a hand on his shoulder.
Volkh: Ashigara, you have your own path. You would be welcome in Setagaya if you wish to join! But you may think all you like about where you want to go.
Alberich: If you're that good, why not climb to more fabulous stages?
Hermes: Blunt, yet true.
Sitri: I'm lost in life too, but if I was as strong as you I think I could be confident and move forward. My worries are kinda different, but I still kinda wish I had your problems. But then, I'm not you and dunno what you're thinking.
Yasuyori: Hmm, makes sense. Well, we may separate for a bit but we'll be stronger next time we meet. I had fun together, and I'll always remember it. If you continue on the path of sumo, I'm sure we'll meet again. And I'm sure Gunzo and Kyuma think the same.
Ashigara: ...WAAAAAH! I'm so happy! But also so SAAAAD!
MC: (pat on head) / (smile) / (cry even harder)
Ashigara: Waaaah!
Hermes: Welp, that's done with.
Volkh: Yes, but it took some time. Perhaps we should settle for the night.
Sitri: But assassins though. Think the other team had some too?

MC thinks of the other team...
MC: (think of Ikutoshi) / (think of Gunzo) / (think of Tetsugyuu) / (think of Motosumi)
Rewind!
---
(A) Ikutoshi: Cool, some real training. Come at me.
Gunzo: Why is this happening!?
(B) Gunzo: Why is this happening!?
(C) Tetsugyuu: So many pirates! Too bad Boss isn't here, but this will be fun!
Gunzo: No it won't! Why is this happening!?
(D) Motosumi: What? More goddamn pirates? Well at least y'all look less shit than the last crew!
Gunzo: That isn't good! Why is this happening!?
---
Gunzo: First Ashigara-senpai and MC are on the other team, now this!? AND THEN WE HAVE TO FIGHT A BUNCH OF GIRLS!?
Suzuka: Are you being sexist right now!?
Ibaraki: And I ain't no girl, asshole! I mean, ohohoho! It's payday for the Outlaws!
Gunzo: AAAAAA
Tetsugyuu: Wow, I'm actually up against Sis Suzuka.
Suzuka: What the hell are you saying, you idiot!?
Ibaraki: Yeah! You joined the treasure hunt as a regular civvie when you heard MC would be in so we got hired as assassins instead! ...or so Ibaraki told me!
Ikutoshi: wait what
Motosumi: Wait, Tetsugyuu. You knew they'd be coming?
Tetsugyuu: Yeah. Didn't you guys?
Rest of Team B: NO???
Tetsugyuu: oh

Later
Ashigara: OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD
Dinner time! Dinner's fancier tonight to help make Ashigara feel better.
Sitri: Yeah! Hermes, your lobster paella's especially great!
Volkh: The ingredient quality is high, but also you seem to be talented at cooking.
Hermes: Lotsa camp experience. And one of my recent jobs has me in the kitchen sometimes.
Alberich: Oh honey, this roast is fabulously luxurious! Just like a pirate! Hermes, play something!
Hermes: Crack that whip harder, why don'tcha? But sure, later.
Takeminakata: Is it really okay for us to join for dinner?
Ashigara: I want you guys here! Maybe I'll make some special seafood stew too... too bad Gunzo's on the other team and Kyuma's at a tournament.
MC: you have no chill, but I get the feeling
Yasuyori: Ashigara, let's all spend time together when we get back. Can't go wasting it on regrets.
Ashigara: I-I know! I've at least decided not to waste the present!
Happy party.
Ashigara: I'll remember everything that happens tonight!
And so the night of pleasantry goes on. A bittersweet sadness remains, but Ashigara laughs as he commits the experience to memory.
End of Episode 

Afterschool Treasure Odyssey Episode 1 Part 1 (Abridged)

It all started on a summer's day with a scrap of paper...
Ashigara: Career consultation?
Avarga: Yep, yer the only one left who hasn't done it yet. Gonna go pro, go to college, go find work? You could totally go college sumo too. Jus' need to hear what plans you got, in person or on paper. Undecided? Cuz we could--
Ashigara: Uhhh, just waiting on it okay thanks bye!
Avarga: Where ya runnin'!?
Ashigara (narrating): And then I crumpled the paper into my bag and pretended it didn't exist.
Durga, Gunzo, and Kyuma: Wait, you don't want to graduate?
Ashigara: I dun wanna leave y'all!
Kyuma: That tracks, but who'd let that happen?
Gunzo: Um, I hope someone does I guess?
Durga: This is the part where you're supposed to slap him back to reality, stupid. I get it since we'll be there in two years, but still.
Ashigara: But I'm supposed to go in less than one! We gotta say goodbye anyways!?
Kyuma: S-sorta? Not like it has to be goodbye forever.
Gunzo: Yeah, our other senpais decided already so--
Ashigara: All I hear is that all y'all are leavin' me! All our friendship moments, gone forever! WAAAAAH
Durga, Gunzo, and Kyuma: (help)
Ashigara (narrating): Nobody understands meeee. And then, at sumo practice...
Ref: There!
Ashigara: (GASP!) THAT'S IT! OUTTA MY WAY BOYS!

Present
Ashigara: And that's how I decided to just repeat school at Yoyogi. Then I joined the treasure hunt and dragged Gunzo along, but then he got put on the other team! Waaaaah!
MC: aww, poor baby / reminds me of another senpai / stop being a baby
---
(A) Ashigara: MC, you understand~!
(B) Ashigara: Oh my god, some bishie at Shinjuku is hanging back too? So you understand, MC?
(C) Ashigara: Waaaah, I thought you'd understand~!
---
It's been several days since sailing off. So far so good, so motive sharing time.
Sitri: I'm thinking about my future too, but I'm stuck on where to go. Decision paralysis! And my relatives are staring, judging! Anyways, I thought I'd figure something out if I came and brought at least one person along. Sorry I got you in like this, MC-senpai, but I feel a little better knowing Ashigara-senpai's in the same metaphorical boat!
Volkh: Deliberately choosing to be alone. I guess Kamui might understand that. And at Setagaya, if sumo is all you're good at we'd suggest you keep going that way.
Ashigara: Might as well! I'm gonna hang back in school, no matter what!
Volkh: I guess these things happen sometimes.

Sitri: So why'd you join, Volkh?
Volkh: As I told MC, I am here to find treasure and personnel totally out of my own volition. Never has Lord Perun ordered me to go on this trip. Never, or may the heavens strike me down!
MC: bit too corporate wage slave there / gee, whose idea could it beeee / you're like Kamui that way
---
(A) Volkh: Indeed! Unlike Kamui, I'll never tell!
(B) Volkh: What!? I am nothing like Kamui! As a noble and officiant, I will lie without hesitation!
(C) Volkh: Stop looking at me like that! I am totally here for personal reasons and not factional ones!
---
Sitri: Oh...well, I wanna go find treasure together with you! So Hermes, what business brings you here?
Hermes: Oh we can be casual as a short term group up. I'm just here because I'm bored. Not like I have a home or anything.
MC: Yeah, you do like wandering / he's totally up to something / (I know what you are)
(A) Hermes: Yep. Singularity cruise paid for by Toyosu? Sign me up, dude!
Sitri: um, okay? I feel like you're hiding something.
(B) Hermes: Aren't we all? That said, I'm just here for the cruise. Let's just get along, 'cause that's where the money goes.
Sitri: um, okay? I feel like you're hiding something.
(C) Hermes's eyes say "shut up."
Sitri: okay wow, the mood's dying. Also I feel like you're hiding something.

Sitri: Oh well, whatever. Alberich, what's your--wait where is he?
Alberich: ...BOO
Sitri: AAAAAA
Ashigara: Where'd you come from!?
Alberich: Haha, I must have done this before! Wizardry, sailing, treasure guarding, and then stuff I probably didn't want to do! But I do think I am a fairy king, maybe! My ring artifact gives me invisibility magic! So I am always watching, peasants!
Volkh: Oh, a similar artifact to mine in equipment style.
Alberich: The gold calls to me! So work for me!
Hermes: You DO know this is supposed to be a for fun thing, right? Whatever treasure here can't be that special.
Hermes goes to lean on the mast and starts playing his flute.
Alberich: Ooh! Hermes, I name you ship musician!
Ashigara: (gasp!) Wait, does that make you like, music captain? Cool music! Let's dance, Alberich!
Volkh: ...music was originally tied to ceremonies and labor. It has many functions on a pirate ship too. That said, impressive performance...
Pretty music. Sitri sidles up to MC and whispers.
Sitri: ...Hermes kinda sus. He keeps insisting this is just a game and pushes people away. You know him, right? Is he cool?
MC: Yep / dunno / ooh, sharp
(A) Sitri: Oh. Is my Intuition off then? I mean, I've always been quick to pick out the cagey ones. Makes me want to use my artifact to Charm him into opening up!
(B) Sitri: You're making things sound worse! I mean, I've always been quick to pick out the cagey ones. Makes me want to use my artifact to Charm him into opening up!
(C) Sitri: Oh. Welp. My artifact being what it is made me quick to see cagey types. Makes me want to use my artifact to Charm him into opening up!

Sitri listens to the music and relaxes.
Sitri: Well I guess I'd look sus to him. Sure he's putting some distance, but with music that good of course we'd take interest in him. Though maybe the music would attract other things too? But this is real life so--!?
Something just bumped into the ship!
Sitri: WHAT
There are grappling hooks stuck to the ship now!
Purple: S'up, strangers. This is our turf.
Ashigara: Oh my god, real pirates!
Alberich: Hermes, this is so your fault!
Hermes: Split personality, much!?
Purple: What's with you dicks? You put that flag up, you're saying you want a fight!
Red: Yeah, it means surrender or die!
Alberich: Take it up with Aegir! Does it look like I'd know that? For that matter, do we even look like pirates you uncultured swines!?
Rest of Party and Mobs: YES???
MC: yep, can't argue there / It's a misunderstanding! / this is Aegir and Alberich's fault

Purple: Okay so I was gonna ignore the Aegir bit because he's a pain in the ass, but anyways, fight time!
Red and Blue: Aye captain!
Sitri: Oh no, what do we do!?
Volkh: Calm down and get behind me!
Alberich: Hmm, time to work together like Aegir said? Then as captain...all hands on deck, boys!
Volkh: (stares) We're already here! Anyways, Ashigara! MC! We shall take the front lines!
MC: Yes, sir!
Ashigara: Right, I'll slap them all into sea! 
Battle positions!
Volkh: Here me rakes! I, Volkh Vseslav lead this formation! Comrades, let us scatter these pirates as our first campaign!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Volkh: Slavic Slash!
Ashigara: Sumo Thrust!
Volkh and Ashigara are sweeping the pirates!
Red: We outnumber them but they're kicking our asses!
Blue: W-what if we try taking the weak scrubs hosta--
Red: (bapped) BWAH
Hermes: Heeeey, so like did you guys think I was weak too? Oh whoops, he fell off. Oh well.
Hermes fills the gaps with hand chops!
Sitri: Oh my god, everyone's so cool! I mean I beat up some pirates too but still! I'm so far behind...
Purple sneaks up on Sitri!
Sitri: OH NO
Purple takes Sitri hostage!
Purple: Nobody move or the kitty gets it!

Volkh: No! He managed to blindside us!
Purple: Now down on your knees and--
Alberich: Yoo-hoo, sneak attack! Alberich Flying Kick!
Purple: Wait what!?
Purple manages to dodge as Alberich smashes the deck!
Alberich: (gasp!) How dare you evade my sweet moves!
Hermes: What did you expect by yelling as you attacked!?
MC: True, but now he's open!
MC hits Purple's knees and frees Sitri!
Volkh: Well done MC! Now leave, pirate-wannabes!
Glaring Volkh.
Volkh: Now surrender or we'll feed you to the fishes.
Pirates: (running) AAAAAA WE'RE SORRYYYYYY

Later
Sitri: ...thanks guys. And sorry I dragged everyone down.
Volkh: It's okay. You did well for a newbie and I let my guard down against them. And Alberich... you had a good idea but messed up with the war cry.
Alberich: (gasp!) Excuse you, how dare you accuse a noble like me of underhanded tactics!
Hermes: You? Noble?
Ashigara: Who cares, I didn't think we'd see real pirates! What if the other team got attacked too!?
Hmm...
MC: (think of Ikutoshi) / (think of Gunzo) / (think of Tetsugyuu) / (think of Motosumi)
(A) Ikutoshi: Huh. Did Aegir put you guys up to this?
Green: A-Aegir? Don't think you can scare us by--
Ikutoshi: Oh, so you're real. Cool, I don't have to be nice then.
Gunzo: Why are you so calm!? I'm just a jock, not a fighter!
(B) Gunzo: I can't believe we found pirates in an ocean singularity!
Green: You put up a pirate flag and fall apart at seeing pirates?
Gunzo: I mean, wouldn't normal people--why's everyone else so calm!? I'm just a jock, not a fighter!
(C) Tetsugyuu: Cool, real pirates to fight!
Green: I got a whole ship crew against you four, dick.
Tetsugyuu: That makes it even better!
Gunzo: I'm just a jock, not a fighter!
(D) Motosumi: Damn this sudden but inevitable development!
Green: What kinda response is that to meeting real pirates!?
Motosumi: What kinda bitch ass Umamichi punk pisses himself at pirates? Now catch these hands, asshole!
Gunzo: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

Welp, that's one panicky jock and three street fighters off kicking ass.
Ikutoshi: Eh, you should be fine Gunzo. You're well built and might have a knack for fighting.
Tetsugyuu: Yeah! Let's cut them all down!
Motosumi: Yep! Man up, Gunzo!
Gunzo: HELP
Meanwhile someone watches both teams from above.
Sanat Kumara: Okay, both teams got attacked but defended themselves well. Now leave the Singularity and tell the client Aegir.
click
Sanat Kumara: Well, Singularity dimension levels makes outside contact harder, but it should be fine with me around. But it's hard to stand back and watch. Yet I must, since an impenetrable wall from the past stands before you all.

Back in Tokyo
Aegir: Cool. Go back and wait for me to call again.
Aegir dumps his phone and has a drink. Dagon stares at him.
Aegir: Okay it's been days inside and both teams had a little trouble.
Dagon: Trouble you caused?
Aegir: It's cool, I got someone watchin'. I'm not putting all my cards down for this, but I got something standin' nearby if it goes to shit.
Dagon: FYI I will totally use Foreigner Teleport if an emergency happens.
Aegir: Aww, you worried?
Dagon: Don't lie, you're the same when MC is involved.
Aegir snorts.
Aegir: ...hey, wanna make a bet on which team wins?
Dagon: Heh. Sounds like a fool's wager.
Aegir: Why's that?
Dagon: Because I don't know much of anyone involved. My world ends with me.
Aegir: Cool. That doesn't stop you from betting.
Dagon: You're just saying whatever.
Aegir: Listen up, here's how I'll do it.
Aegir whispers. Dagon thinks.
Dagon: Okay, fair enough. I bet on MC's team. You?
Aegir answers, Dagon shrugs. Two glasses clink as the bet is made, and Dagon talks to himself.
Dagon: Heh, gambling on competing students is the height of decadence. He's just making excuses for who the bet is for. But now I have an excuse to throw in some support. Impress me, MC.
End of episode part 

Live A Hero Health Check Crisis Episode 2 (Abridged)

Bygul (narrating): I'm from Planet OMO-1. I heard they might also call it Planet HEA-V in the next polling season? It's a chill place, but it also has like no culture. So I joined a cultural exchange program to bring something back, but also...
TV Actor: This space shootout sucked balls.
TV Actress: Thank you for saving my family, Space Wanderer!
TV Actor: Then stop making your family problems my business! Look after them so they stop getting into space shenanigans! Okay bye babe.
Bygul: OMG SO COOL
Bygul (narrating): I discovered anime and TV shows and my life has never been the same. So I decided I had to move to Earth, my holy land! ...but space is a harsh mistress.
Manager: Sorry Bygul, I can't stop you from getting fired anymore after you broke your fifth wall.
Bygul: I understand, thank you for having me. AAAHHH I JUST LOST MY EIGHTH JOB! I'm gonna die at the streets like this!
Bygul (narrating): Culture clash is especially tough when you don't have culture to begin with. Now I'm struggling with money.
Bygul: I need to find a new job soon and learn how to control my strength... this would be better if a hero agency hired me at least.
Bygul (narrating): Stress made control harder, which made me more stressed as things got worse. I gotta make it to the Hero Expo!

Title Card: Gotta Make You Healthier ASAP

Med Gadget: Beep boop, eye exam done. Please go down to the far right for your next exam.
Exam's going smoothly. MC goes as directed by their bracelet monitor thing.
Bygul: Oh! Um, hi again MC!
Barrel: Whoa, MC! Weird how we met up again! Guess it's just ID grouping or whatever.
MC: damn, you guys are in space prison uniforms / feeling like a criminal here / you two seem chill
---
(AB) Barrel: But you're wearin' the same thing.
(C) Bygul: ARE YOU IMPLYING SOMETHING???
---
Barrel: But yeah this is weird. This collar and bracelet is kinda heavy.
Bygul: And I think I've seen this uniform somewhere before.

Flashback!
Shidemasu: The uniform stripes are for measurement when you stand at a body scanner.
Shaft: And the gadgets are for internal body scanning? Why is it so tight?
Shidemasu: Rasalhague said it was for the plan or...something? But please understand it's for all examinations not including sampling and verbal discussions. Which may take some time.
Shaft: Yeah, one terminal has to handle at least a hundred people. My brain would shut down at that. But maybe this will be easier than a normal checkup? MC, let's go--oh, you have to go elsewhere?
Shidemasu: Huh, I didn't know there would be bracelets built like yours. Strange.

Present
MC: Welp, we're cuffed and in space prison uniforms.
Barrel: Oh well! Funny though, we were just talkin' 'bout you MC!
Bygul: Barrel told me you're a new Operator who's super good at it! Also that--
Barrel: WHOAWHOAWHOA heeeey Bygul, you haven't really told me about yourself, let's talk 'bout that instead
Bygul: Oh okay! I'm Bygul, a hero!
MC: Nice meeting you Bygul! / I'm not really super... / wait what, Barrel?
---
(B) Barrel: Sure you are! You're famous even outside UEHA Japan!
(C) Barrel: UHHH NOTHING
---
Bygul: Wow, you're a newbie too but you got so much done! I'm in a local agency and on probation so I haven't gotten much hero work so far.
Barrel: Apparently he moved from far away and can't find a day job?
Bygul: Oh, um. I found some, then messed up and got fired. Broke so many things...
MC: Huh. Different environment back home?

Bygul: It has stronger gravity than Earth, and I haven't gotten used to the difference to control myself...
Barrel: It happens! I got yelled at every day when I first started too...
MC: yeah, it happens / stop busting your gun out, Space American / damn, Gammei...
---
(A) Bygul: Wow, you too?
(B) Barrel: I-I know, but I wanna be a cool gun-totin' hero!
---
Barrel: Why'd you wanna move to Earth if keeping under control is so hard?
Bygul: Movies and anime! I got to come for cultural studies! My favorite show is Space Wanderer. I've even seen all the Exp. Univ stuff!
Barrel: Oh my god I love that show! All the cool gunfights! And the hero's catchphrase!
Bygul: Yeeeah! And the hero keeping his dead wife's picture in a pendant!
MC: the nerds are talking / what kinda show is that / hmm, sounds kinda cool?

Bygul: Anyways, I gotta get this exam done and find a real job so I can stay here! Meaning I gotta do well at the Expo!
Barrel: Oh that reminds me. Hey, MC! So earlier, Chief Okitaka...
Flashback!
Okitaka: W-what? Stop lookin' at me like that! I'm just old! So I knocked back a few drinks. S'all good! I'll be okay for next time!
Present
Barrel: He's so going to do it all again! I see him drunk at least half the time I patrol the bar neighborhood! He oughta take care of himself, especially if he is gettin' old...
MC: oh... / sounds about right / you sure care about him
---
(A) Barrel: I hope he stays fine! We all count on him!
(BC) Barrel: We all count on him, so we hope he stays fine.
---
beep beep
Barrel: Oh my gadget says I have to go now. Later!
MC and Bygul wait their turns.

Main Computer Room
Rasalhague: Begin the Program™.
Hallway
Barrel comes out a few minutes later.
Bygul: Oh!
MC: Hey Barrel, how'd it go?
Barrel: (frown)
Bygul: ...Barrel?
Barrel looks derpy for a minute before smiling.
Barrel: Health!
Bygul: !?
MC: what
Barrel: High blood pressure bad! Colds bad! Veggies good!
MC: Barrel WHAT
Bygul: Barrel, what's going on!?
Barrel: Bygul's reactive oxygen immune system!
Bygul: WHAT???
Barrel: Stress bad! Wait, what?

A bunch of wrestlers show up.
Red: Sufficient sleep!
Blue: Morning walks!
Barrel: Healthy breakfast!
Green: Health foods!
Yellow: Avoid food allergies!
MC: what
Red: wait
Sudden attention.
Red: Blue collars. Unhealthy!?
Bygul: Wait, we haven't even gotten tested yet!
Red: UNHEALTHY! MASTER SAYS GET THEM!
MC: WHAT
beep boop
The wrestlers transform!
MC: What!? Why!?
Bygul: Crap. MC, we gotta run!
Bygul carries MC overhead and starts running!
Barrel: Stop!
Mobs: RAAAAAH

Later
Bygul: Oh my god is this normal for big cities!?
MC: No! What's going on!?
Bygul: Well we can't be caught or else--oh
Dead end.
Barrel: There you are! Health education time! Gotta Make You Healthier ASAP!
MC: Barrel, what!? Wake up!
Bygul: ...MC, quick contract me! I'll need my Parallel Weapon to defend against him! I promise I won't hurt him!
beep beep
MC: Welp, guess we have to! 
click
Bygul: Whoo, Zippy C is in the house! Out of the way!
MC: whoa! / so cool, Bygul! / what's the zipper for
---
(B) Bygul: Really? Thanks! ...wait, we gotta fight!
(C) Bygul: I-I'll explain later! Right now we gotta fight!
---
Barrel: Stop resisting!
MC: okay the cameras are working! Streaming network on! Now please somebody watch us!
Barrel: Become one of us!
Bygul: No??? Wake up already!
BATTLE START (more happens later)

Bygul: Bygul Punch!
Barrel: Haha, your knees are building up lactic acid!
Bygul: what? aah!
Barrel shoots at Bygul's feet! Bygul trips!
Barrel: Got you now!
Bygul: NOOOO HELP
Full nelson'd.
MC: Bygul, no! / Difference in experience!? / god I wish that were me
---
(C) Bygul: WHAT
---
Bygul: I got no choice! Sorry Barrel!
Barrel: Oof!
Gut punch! Bygul then picks Barrel up...
Barrel: wait what
Bygul: Kitty Slam!
Bygul throws Barrel right at a wall!
Barrel: AAAAAA--bweh
Barrel got plowed halfway through solid wall!
MC: OMG DID YOU KILL HIM?

Bygul: oopsie
Barrel twitches.
Barrel: What!? How'd I get stuck!?
Barrel's guns have locked him in.
MC: oh good / how thick is his head? / hmmmm
---
(AB) Bygul: maybe we should help him
(C) Bygul: Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking!
---
???: What's all this noise!?
Several people approaching!
Bygul: We have to run!
Bygul picks MC up!
Akashi, Kyoichi, and Shaft: MC?
The three block the way!
MC: Guys!?

Bygul: You know all of them!?
Akashi: MC, you okay!? Did you make that noise?
MC: I-I'm okay. You seem fine.
Akashi: Damn, I take my eyes off you for five minutes. Stress bad.
MC: wait...
Akashi: Bathe one hour before bedtime for better sleep!
MC: damn / Not Akashi too!
Kyoichi: Cut down on snacks!
Shaft: Take breaks while working out.
Bygul: ZOMBIES!
Akashi: MC, your collar's blue? Unhealthy!?
Kyoichi: It's okay! Become one of us, health lecture!
Shaft: Please?
MC: Um, okay / this is messed up / I can't worry Akashi...
(AC) Bygul: MC, no

Bygul: Uh, don't think I can charge through. Um... oh! There's someone stuck in the wall! Maybe it would be healthier (i guess) to take care of them first!
Akashi: Wait, Barrel!? Goddammit!
Kyoichi: How'd that happen!? Okay fine, help him first.
Shaft: Bad posture for circulation!
The three grab Barrel's legs.
Akashi, Kyoichi, and Shaft: Pull! Pull!
MC: Pull!
Barrel seems stuck. Bygul sidles up to MC.
Bygul: Pull! ...I feel bad for Barrel but we should run now.
MC: R-right. Hope Barrel gets out okay, sorry guys...
MC and Bygul start sneaking away.
Bygul: ...now!
Zoom.
Akashi, Kyoichi, and Shaft: Pull!
Barrel: Oof! Ow, am I getting a blood clot!?
Akashi: Barrel you dumbass, your guns are in the way!
Kyoichi: Blood pressure risks!
Nobody notices MC and Bygul leaving.
MC: so they're still good guys, just health nut zombies. Hope we can cure them.

Meanwhile, in the lobby
Red: Body warmth immunity!
Shidemasu: Oh my, you need to calm down. I suggest the floor.
Red: Aaaaah!
Shidemasu judo slams a charging wrestler!
Red: Meditation benefits! Join us!
Shidemasu: Pass, thank you.
Red: OOF! Mindfulness...
Shidemasu backhand chops and kicks Red into a wall!
Shidemasu: Oh, that's everyone. How horrible.
Shidemasu fixes his tie as he leaves a pile of KOed health zombie heroes. Then he pulls out his phone.
Shidemasu: Hmm. No connection. And no response from Rasalhague. What could be happening?
Shidemasu looks at the red glowing collar and bracelet on a KOed hero.
Shidemasu: The chains are new. The bracelets were made before the examinations, so...
Thinking Shidemasu.
Shidemasu: I need more intel. And to protect my customers.
Shidemasu picks his bag and walks off.
End of Episode