Christmas Showdown Thief Side Episode 2 Part 2 (Abridged)

Nakano. One of the cities and schools of hipsters with an accompanying school by its train station. That'd be Nakano Entertainment Academy, the school for actors, VAs, musicians, livestreamers, and other entertainment industry folks. Like, there's one or two famous student opera troupes here. Everyone strives to get into the spotlight and get that next hit tweet!
Benten is one of Nakano's students, and her pitch for herself is That Rebellious Rock Biwa Hipster Heavenly Maiden!
Benten: IT'S STILL MISSING SOMETHING (smashes a hole in concrete by clubbing her school gate with her biwa)
Benten: I'M BEING OVERSHADOWED BY ALL THESE NEW PEOPLE
New People includes Leanan Sidhe, Christine, Teda, Tanetomo, Goemon

Too many rivals in Nakano! There's that famous music and video producer, the rising star of Yurakucho's best acting troupe, the child prodigy of traditional Japanese entertainment, the kabuki actor, and licensed master Japanese dancer.
Benten: I know what they have that I don't! The charm that comes from being *~mysterious~*!
Yeah all those people have seeecrets. Shoving yourself onto others trying to get them to learn about you makes them pull away. Who knew? But keeping something hidden just draws all the attention.
Benten: If I don't pick up a mysterious side myself I'm just gonna end up as JUST a national level pretty girl!
That's why Benten joined the thief gang.
Benten: THIS IS SO GONNA WORK
By the way there's a secret behind Nakano Academy Benten is unaware of because of course there is. Nakano Academy is also secretly training people from other worlds to be spies and ninjas. There's already people from Yggdrasil, Tir na Nog, and Wa no Kuni for starters doing all that.

Present
Hermes and the cops are fighting.
Cops: Stay still and--DAMMIT STOP SLIPPING AWAY
Hermes: Jump jump, slide slide
The cops slowly do worse and worse as Hermes toys with them until he eventually has them worn so down that he slips in close.
Hermes: Aww, they're taking it easy on me~!
Cops: WHY YOU
Having successfully baited the cops, Hermes pulls out Totally Not Caduceus with the power of change and flow from the faith of Mercurius's alchemy.
Hermes: I cast Sleep! (fweee)
The cops pass out and fall over.
Hermes: Sorry for taunting you guys like that. I wasn't planning on trying at all.

MC: The cops are sleeping what just happened
Hermes: Can't be bothered to explain much, just used my power to make them sleep. It did require them to be mad though, so that's why I taunted them.
MC: hmmmm / 4D chess player here / (stare)
Hermes: ha ha I'm just some bum
Benten: Dang you're cool and rebellious Hermes. Rock on! And now I'm disgusted with myself for acting like some moeblob girl freaking out about the police earlier!
MC: Aww, Benten grew up / no more shenanigans thanks / moeblob Benten!
Benten: Dammit Hermes why are you so cool on top of being a musician? Just you wait, I'll be like that too!

Taromaiti: Hermes were you planning this all along?
Hermes: Yeah I figured you'd notice
Taromaiti: Couldn't you have just explained yourself instead? Do you have to make everything blow up anytime anyone doubts you?
Hermes: Hey I can't help it. I just can't be bothered to make a conversation sound sensible.
Taromaiti: You're still drawing too much attention acting like that and you know it. Plus, what are you going to say to them when the battle zone ends?
Hermes: Who says I'm not gonna bail on them first? Haha.
MC: uhhh / welp / new guy makes sense

Taromaiti: No Hermes, you are staying and explaining yourself to them. This is a separate issue from the drill thing. The Santa School Heist is a practice activity at the end of the day, and we aren't guilty of anything so we don't have to talk about it. You aren't doing anything shady here either, so you can just say so. Okay?
Hermes: But why should I clear up any misunder--
Taromaiti: >:C
Hermes: okay okay I'll do it
MC: Taromaiti is so levelheaded / damn these two are polar opposites

Battle Zone fades out and Hermes's power cancels with it. Then, suddenly Tajikarao.
Tajikarao: What's going on over here?
Fire Cop: Ah! Senpai!
Dark Cop: We found Hermes with this group, so we came to question them and--
Tajikarao: Oh, lemme join in too then. Whatcha guys doin'?
Hermes: Oh, uh, we're on our way to Santa School for some minor business.
Taromaiti: I'm Hermes's coworker at a cafe. We're gonna see Ded about an appointment on the ceremony on Christmas.
MC: same / Hermes is my friend / Hermes is super important to me!
(BC) Hermes: wat

Tajikarao: Whoa you guys are really friends with Hermes? And he works at a cafe now?
MC: (sweats)
Tajikarao: (looks at the party again) Wow that's great news! Sorry to bother you guys, be careful on your way over!
Fire Cop: Whaaat!? Are you sure? He's got a criminal record and here in Japan that makes him a pariah we all side-eye!
Tajikarao: Maybe, but remember what police school taught us? People want us to sympathize with them too, not just patrol and keep them safe. Yes we investigate anything suspicious, but we anyone who honestly answers our questions should not be suspected any further! Pushing past that is an overreach of our police authority! We be stern where we need to be, and we show trust when people trust in us. I'll take over the rest of this conversation, you two go back on patrol.
Fire Cop: ...okay. Thank you for cooperating, everyone! (leaves with the other cop)
MC: (whoa) / (so cool) / Thanks
(C): Tajikarao: :D

Hermes: ...sorry for running out on you before. Here, I have official permission.
Tajikarao: Incorrigible as always, but thank you for cooperating with us! I'm so pleased by this development.
MC: Thanks for all you do / I'll always help / Whew...
Taromaiti and Benten also relax.
Tajikarao: Glad to see you have new friends and a job, Hermes. I hope you don't mind if I come by to see and talk with you again.
Hermes: ...yeah it's a pain in the ass to have you or Magami chasing after me. Ugh, it's so much easier with jerks doubting me from the word go.
Tajikarao: Feel free to come visit us at Cafe Asterism if there's anything up with Hermes. Have a donut! If you like it, have Hermes come deliver some more next time.
Hermes: >:C

Tajikarao: Oh my, thank you! I'm not supposed to accept personal gifts though...
Taromaiti: Don't worry, I'll bring some to the other police officers at the station.
Tajikarao: Hmm...well, okay then. Oh wow, it's sweet and delicious!
Hermes: Hougen is totally gonna be mad at you for eating on the job
Tajikarao: OH NO
Hermes: Ha ha kidding. Here's some of my tea, don't choke.
Hermes: Sorry guys, I didn't mean for y'all to get caught up in my business.
MC: it's cool / no worries / lemme get a feel as an apology then
(C) Tajikarao: MC, this is SCANDALOUS! Who are you feeling!? What are you feeling!? What are you even saying in front of a police officer!?
Hermes: AhaHA, good "joke" man!
Tajikarao: ...oh, that was a joke? Geez, MC don't say things like that.

Hermes: ...thanks, MC.
Benten: ...
Tajikarao: Okay bye everyone
The party resumes heading to Santa School.
Hermes: So Taromaiti. Still think it's okay to let me hang around at the cafe? Come on, tell me how you really feel.
Taromaiti: How many times have I said you need to stop with the provocations? But then again, the police were the ones to start things earlier... Also, I have secrets I can't talk about in public too, not just you. That's why I think it should be fine to say what you can say out loud and keep quiet about everything else. It's okay here in Tokyo, which is why I want to protect this place, as a knight protecting a paradise.
Hermes: ...huh. So you see Tokyo as a paradise.
Taromaiti: Yep. It's a place that accepts me for how I want to be.
Hermes: This world of distortions? Lots of things I wanna say to that but...well, I guess you're sorta right in a way. No worries about food, and a roof to hide under just about anywhere. People are free to live as they please, with no need to deal with someone else's crap dumped on them. 

MC: Hermes, did something happen to you in your home world?
Hermes: ...I'll leave that to your imagination. I don't have to say if I don't want to, right?
Benten: God, you're just speaking everything that comes to mind again aren't you!? Fine, I declare us rivals!
Hermes: wat
Benten: You showed me up, but I'll get the last laugh and shine brightest!
MC: WHAT / aw yeah, ice breaker! / omg Benten you're so cool
(C) Benten: RIGHT!? Not that I have any idea what you're on about!

Hermes: ...well if people can say whatever they want to me I guess I have to accept they can. Y'know, I guess this place is more of a paradise than I thought that way.
Taromaiti: Oh, you are accepting that? That's honest of you.
Hermes: We're still just barely acquainted, but I got no complaints about this world. Haven't talked with anyone about stuff on my mind either.
Taromaiti: Hmm...from what I've known of you so far, that is true. (Yeah, you never once talked to any of us at Cafe Asterism about personal stuff. It was Shinya who invited you to work with us.)
Benten: Oh so that's how you always stir the waters huh, Hermes? It always sounds to me like you're saying the opposite of whatever you speak about.
Hermes: !
Benten: I'm not just rocker girl, I got good ears. When people hide something, I can hear it in the way their voice sounds and travels.
Taromaiti: (Yeah I've felt that from Hermes before too. Like he's baiting me in a fight first and going one step after that. Like some sort of tension or wariness in how he lives his life. Did he...?)

Benten: ...Hermes, you're doing this to look all cool and mysterious so you hit it big on social media, aren't you!?
Hermes: ...wat
Benten: You can't fool me, I'm learning all your tricks! 10k favs, here I come!
MC: oh no we lost Benten to Not Twitter! / doubt / (I think she might be right on further thought?)
Hermes:
Hermes:: ...ahaha, damn I overthought that! Nah I'm not that deep. Maybe you're too wound up about the cops earlier. I'm just some wandering bum.
Benten: Hmm...eh, whatever. I wouldn't want to break character too!
Taromaiti: ...I'll leave it at that too then.
MC: 'kay / (what is Hermes hiding...?) / (I'm not getting into this now)
Hermes: Man I'm hungry now. Someone pay for me?
Benten: HEY! You split the bill on our party the other day instead of treating us! Don't you think you can get money out of me that fast. Actually, I demand donuts too!
MC: Good, business as usual / come on we still have to see Ded / (we are straying so far from the subject)

Later, the party sneaks in to the Santa School no problem and obtains their costumes.
White: Well done everyone! You could do great as Santas like that. Also you look great in your costumes. I'm glad they fit perfectly. You look like real phantom thieves now. The rest of us need to tighten our belts and focus.
MC: Hermes you look so cool! / Benten you look so pretty! / OMG it's Taromaiti!
(A) Hermes: Damn, nice. It's pretty light and easy to move in too. And you look right at home in that outfit that wasn't drawn for you.
(B) Benten: You like it too? It's great! And you look good too in your totally a real costume because we're saying you're in one! Double selfie time! ...what do you mean I can't upload it!?
(C) Taromaiti: O-oh, thank you. You look good in yours too. Having a special costume like this ready really gets me motivated.

White: Okay, now it's time to talk about the Christmas day things we're publicly doing. Let me go out to get some tea...
Hallway
White: Whew, I was worried for a second, but I'm glad they made it here safely.
White turns out to be Ose.
Ose: Tajikarao did great in intervening over there. Okay, time to call the real Ded while the party is waiting!
End of Episode