Hermes (narrating): So there's like a ton of police officers inside and out the Santa School. Getting inside will be hard, and scoping it out from close by would be risky. All I can do now is wait for a better chance. I originally came to figure out their patrol patterns and figure out when and where I could sneak in. I'm also waiting for this one student to leave the school since they were brought in for some reason despite all the security.
Hermes (narrating): I was surprised that this student spoke directly to the headmaster like they knew him, so maybe I could use them somehow. It seems like they came on their way home after school, so they have to come back out sometime.
Hermes (narrating): Okay finally they're here. Dunno what their deal is since they look like any old student on the street. They don't look like they've gotten any special training based on how they walk, but I'm gonna keep stalking and watching them.
Hermes (narrating): I can see them talking to something apparently invisible. Since they're looking to the side they don't notice someone coming up ahead, and wouldn't you know it some wolf thug bumps into them. He's that one accident faker and dine and dasher the police have been looking for. It's probably gonna be a fight. Welp, time to move.
Yasha: Aw bitch, I haven't gotten any customers in today. Where's a sucker I can get some money out o--oh.
Yasha: Hi hottie!★ Wanna come check out School Uniform Cafe for Nerds? (^3^)
Hermes: What, you talking to me? I'm too busy to get ripped off by fetish places.
Yasha: YOU WANNA START SOMETHING ASSHOLE?
Hermes: Say it louder for the back of the class why don't ya. It's not like I've got a sucker to dupe or anything.
Yasha: Huh? You mean that wolf over there?
Hermes: They're mine, got it? You're gonna ruin my plans if you try something.
Yasha: What, he rich or something if you care that much? Ha! Watch me!
Yasha: Oh Mister Fluffybutt, can I have a moment of your time? <3
Yasha: Ha ha, hook, line, and sinker. Hello, motherload!
Hermes (narrating): Criminals who victimize other people will end up coming across other criminals who do the same thing. I wonder who's gonna get who? I can't be bothered to care much, but now I've got a chance! What was their name...MC? It's Taking Advantage of Other People Time!
Later
MC is going back to Ded's office again.
Hougen: Hi MC. Made a decision?
MC: I'll join the thieves / I'm gonna be naughty / The treasure is mine!
(Bang)
Black: Did I hear you say naughty? I see you have chosen death! ...inasmuch as this is training and I don't actually shoot people dead.
Hougen: No Ded, stop! You're going to ruin everything! I wanna give MC such a spanking now...hurhurhur.
Black: Damn. Well thanks for helping. Don't blow the surprise!
Hougen: Well I'm looking forward to seeing what tricks you pull. As for the other members of the thieves, it'd be better for you to meet them outside of the school.
Black: I have Jiraiya's number. You guys should pick somewhere to meet, then call White once you have your gang settled. He said he'd do something for your thief costumes. Bah!
MC: Okay! / Bye! / Have mercy
---
(C) Black: Don't get all soft on me! Go at it like you mean it!
---
Black: Don't think we'll go easy on you because you're a student, or else you won't make it in! Get working on those plans!
MC texts Jiraiya around the time they reach the school doors. Jiraiya texts back to say come to Shibuya.
Jiraiya: Hey, MC! It's been a spell! You doing good? I'm glad we're on the same side. Buckle up for a ride!
MC: Hi again Jiraiya! / Glad to have you / I came because of you
---
(C) Jiraiya: Aww, thanks! I'll give you a hand if you need it too.
---
Jiraiya: So! Santa School's all under heavy guard and we can't take too long on making our plans. And we're gonna set up shop in Shibuya which isn't too near and too far from there!
MC: Yeah, scouting will be easy from here / I see / I don't get it but you sound like a pro
(AB) Jiraiya: I'm glad you're quick on the uptake. Maybe you'd be good as a thief hero?
(C) Jiraiya: Ha! You haven't seen the last of my tricks yet!
Jiraiya: Phantom thieves, huh? I mean I go for showy when doing my main job, but they do it all the way when nabbing the loot and afterwards. The way they announce themselves before the heist...is so cool! Even if it does make sneaking in harder...
Jiraiya: ...okay, let's put together a crew of thieves here with whoever!
MC: Cool! / Are we getting other ninjas? / Know anyone good?
(A) Jiraiya: Glad to see you're into this! This sounds like fun...but I dunno who we should get.
(BC) Jiraiya: About that...
Jiraiya: I could ask the guys I know in my main job since I'll know they can hack it... If us working together just happens it's fine, but asking beforehand means I'll owe them and I don't want that.
MC: Kotarou? / Goemon?
(A) Jiraiya: Yeah! Like hell will I bow to the leader of the Fuuma!
(B) Jiraiya: He and I are natural enemies and I'm never gonna ask! Not even for you!
Jiraiya: Sooo that means I don't have any ideas on who to ask. Do you kno--
???: THERE YOU ARE BITCH
Jiraiya: What? Someone fighting around here?
Over by the train station
Wolf: I can't BELIEVE you scammed me!
Hermes: literally who
Wolf: Don't give me that! You set me up at Shinjuku the other day!
Hermes (dramatic gesturing): Ohhh! You! Now I remember. How was the ripoff place?
Wolf: You really DO remember what happened!
MC: I saw those two in Shinjuku the other day. (explains)
Jiraiya: ... (nods) Got it! Leave it to me!
MC: Where are you going!? / What are you looking for? / Why are you standing on a street light...?
Jiraiya: I'm getting up somewhere high of course! If I'm gonna make a big dramatic entrance to break up a fight, I have to make witty remarks from up high!
Before Jiraiya can say anything...
???: STOOOOP
Strumming noises.
MC: Oh no it's Benten! / why / Yaass queen!
Wolf: Problem, bitch? You a friend of bird boy!?
Benten: No. And what if I am? And yes I have a problem! I'm trying to get viral on Not Twitter after I go post a vid about the guy playing his music and you are in the way! You wanna talk to him, then wait until AFTER the show!
Wolf: wat. I don't care about your nonsense! I am trying to--
Jiraiya: STOOOOP! A hero is here to tell you guys to stop shouting! The chivalrous thief Jiraiya, faster than lightning beasts! Brighter than the sun, with no clouds in the sky! And here I am to stop the fight! Super ninja jump, go!
Benten: ...Jiraiya? That super broke-ass triple shifter third year who skips class all the time? That Jiraiya?
Jiraiya: Ack! How did you know!? You go to the same school I do?
Benten: I also heard that you hate snakes, can't really turn down requests, and studied under some toad hermit.
Jiraiya: H-how do you know so much!? Are you an info broker? Am I too famous now!?
Benten: It really IS you!? OMG Senpai, let's take a selfie together! I met someone rare and famous from our school! Our classmates are going to fav the pic SO HARD!
MC: What a coincidence / You skip classes a lot too, Jiraiya? / I want a pic too!
Wolf: GODDAMMIT GIRL! First you stick your nose into a fight and now you're talking crazy! I don't care anymore, I'll take all of you!
Benten: What, you wanna fight loser? Bring it!
Wolf: W-wait I was the one provoked here and--
Jiraiya: You're gonna regret picking a fight with me, punk!
MC: Jiraiya you came to stop this / oh no they both sound like bad guys! / I don't even care anymore
Hermes: Guys can I just leave
BATTLE START
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