Girimekhala: Wow, I wish I was that scary! Oh wait, meeting time.
Yoritomo: Allow me to brief you all on the plan for the first match: there is no plan.
Shennong and Yasuyori: what
MC: ... / what / Okay, here I go!
---
(C) Yoritomo: !! Wait, stop you foolish brother. I mean, MC. No one else is keeping up with you. I'd be thrilled if you never came back, but you'd just--I mean, stay! Bad dog.
---
Tanetomo: (gasp!) S-Sir, w-what do you mean by...
Yoritomo: I said what I said, Advisor. Oh wait, this is just a game so I should just call you Tanetomo, yes?
Tanetomo: N-not at all Sir! I mean, Milord.
Yoritomo: Oh. Advisor it is then. But no, I have no orders to give. I hope everyone enjoys themselves this game.
Tanetomo: A-as you wish, Milord.
Tanetomo: (I can't take him at his word. He must be setting up dissidents to reveal themselves. Or maybe he's seeing who can follow his orders when he hasn't said anything? Any excuse to cut people off...)
Yoritomo: Have fun everyone. Especially you, brother. I mean, MC.
MC: Me? / Looking forward to playing with you! / (go for a handshake)
(C) Yoritomo: TOOCLOSE oh we needn't be in that much proximity for friendship.
Yoritomo: I want you to get as far as physically possible away from m--I mean go enjoy yourself as a reserve member. No matter what I say, you'll just bring the biggest and worst victory back...
Tezcatlipoca: Ha, what a dull briefing that was! Let's make the front lines of battle interesting!
Yoritomo: ...huh, I didn't realize you wanted briefings to be interesting.
Tezcatlipoca: Hey, this is supposed to be a competitive game, not some boring training drill. Make it a heart pounding one, even if I don't have a heart to pound with!
MC: Heart joke! / ha. ha. ha. / Yeah!
Tezcatlipoca: I have an idea! How about you call me Tezkitty during this event?
Yoritomo: ...put someone else in charge then and you can go crazy all you like. I came to enjoy Mt. Hakone's hot springs instead of some plan I was stuck into.
Tezcatlipoca: You want to go to a hot spring instead of a fight? What kind of Warmonger are you? Don't you agree, BRRRROTHER?
MC: Not interested in the event? / Ahh, I see now. Sad. / (Hot spring visit!)
(C) Yoritomo: ...I don't know what you're thinking of, but stop looking at me like that.
Yoritomo: ...may I say something else?
Tezcatlipoca: Okay.
Yoritomo: Why did you turn our regularly scheduled winter drill into a game, sign me up against my will, and make those snow sculptures? You even spent our money on strange snow guns and brought that walking ulcer causer in front of--never mind that last bit. But anyways, isn't this rather hard to enjoy, General?
Tezcatlipoca: Haha! It's an event and it just started! You ought to enjoy yourself!
Yoritomo: That's rich coming from you...whatever. I've always known how farcical your ways of showing respect and making things happen without my knowledge were. Well anyways everyone, I personally have no commands to give. Do as you see fit.
Tanetomo: Sir, yes sir! Everyone, show off your maneuvers and cheer!
Shennong: Roger.
Yasuyori: Yes sir!
MC: Is this really okay...? / Yeaaah!
Tanetomo: Milord said we should all act at our own discretions, so I will do so.
Shennong: Haha, you're so stiff. He said to have fun, didn't he? I'm usually in the medic's office, so this is a nice change of pace. And these are snowballs so there won't be any injuries.
Yasuyori: Yes, this is a game. Aren't you a little too tense, Advisor?
Tanetomo: ...we're still supposed to win this.
Shennong: It's nice you're trying hard, but I'm ordering you off the field if you get hurt.
MC: Yeah, relax Tanetomo. / Chill a little / Let's all have fun!
Tanetomo: It must be nice to not use your brains. If we lose this because we worked clumsily...well if we're moving independently there's no need for an advisor, so I'll just be another officer.
Shennong: Okay Advisor Tanetomo.
Yasuyori: Understood! See my front line actions for yourself, Advisor!
Tanetomo: Then keep your eyes on me and see who the flower of the battlefield is.
Shennong: I'm more into grasses myself since they're bitter and good for sickness!
Tanetomo: How narrowminded of you, Doctor. Some flowers have poisons and poisons are a type of medicine too.
Tiger Man (from somewhere): Meeting time over, amigos! Come back to the field!
Later
Tiger Man: Time to get onto the field now, people! Let's have a big round of applause and cheers for them!
Mobs: YEEEAAAHHH
Tiger Man: ¡Gracias, amigos! Same rules as before, except for this new rule! If you get hit, you're out. Your snow guns will jam if we see you get hit, so pull out fast when that happens! Okay, got your tanks filled? Ready to go? Countdown time! 10! ...5! 4! 3! 2! 1! GOOOO!
MC: YEAH!
Tiger Man: Game on, people! The first one out is...
Jacob: I've been waiting for this, Warmongers. And MC. Let our fists of love talk!
Girimekhala: Hey don't just charge off alone like that!
Maria: Oh it's okay, Girimekhala.
Azazel: Indeed. Charging in solo is his strong suit.
Soldier A: WHAT!? Is he dissing us!?
Soldier B: And is using a goddamn knuckle gun!? Whatever, surround and shoot him! Suppress his movements first!
Jacob: Heh, clever plan. Guess what!?
Tiger Man (commentating): ¡Ay dios mio! The blind man is grazing all those bullets! And now he's...doing a boxing counter!
Mob A: OOF
Mob B: How's he doing tha--OOF
Tiger Man: Double knock out! ...we're still having a snowball gun fight, right? Wow, he's not letting common sense trap him here!
Girimekhala: W-whoa...he's kicking so much ass.
Zabaniya: Yes, that level of skill I've never reached myself.
Azazel: His anime blindness battle bonus means working solo is better for him than acting with a group. He's also terrible with tactics so it all works out.
Girimekhala: I see. Well no I don't, but mad respect! Eat snowball, people!
Arslan: Follow Jacob!
Angels: YEEEAAAHHH
Tiger Man: The Missionaries are advancing! But the Warmongers aren't taking that lying down!
Wrestlers: Nobody told me the Missionaries were that strong! How'd they--(shot)
Arslan: Haha, you're getting into this Zabaniya!
Zabaniya: Yes, this is a rare opportunity. I will throw myself into this, and I will later punish myself.
Arslan: Stop bringing your fetishes to a game and chill!
Shennong: Hi guys, line's drawn here.
Arslan: Wow, it's Dr. Shennong! Funny how you're on the front line!
Zabaniya: This may be a game, but I will not hold back.
Shennong: Hahaha, strong boys popping up! Go easy on me, okay?
Arslan: You laugh, but you charged in alone too. Still one against many here...
Shennong: Hey don't lump me in with him! Fire!
Rangers: Yes sir!
Zabaniya: Where'd they come from!?
Shennong: Hey, I picked up some tactics from my own share of battles.
Arslan: Welp, you sure got me there! But we can't just lie down and lose here Zabaniya.
Zabaniya: Indeed. I shall battle to the end.
Shennong: What kind of preachers of love and charity are you people? Gotta stay on my toes here.
Tiger Man: Wow, this battle is just twisting and turning! This is one hot match people! Oh look, new squad appearing!
Yasuyori: I shall protect you, Advisor.
Tanetomo: Opening show's done, time for the masses to go now.
Angels: A gatling gun!? AAAAA
Tiger Man: ¡HÃjole! Tanetomo and Yasuyori are working together to gun down everyone with Yasuyori covering the gaps in suppression fire!
MC: Good job guys! / Let's press our advantage, Tanetomo! / Yasuyori, I'll help!
---
(B) Tanetomo: Of course. I will do what I must to fulfill Milord's orders.
(C) Yasuyori: No worries, I know what I need to do!
---
Tanetomo: MC you should be careful. They're after you for some reason. Normally I'd make you bait, but since Milord hasn't ordered that I'm going to see how well you fight.
MC: Okay! / You believe in me? / Pamper me later?
(B) Tanetomo: Don't get carried away, that's just situational analysis.
(C) Tanetomo: The one who gets pampered here is ME.
Tanetomo: If the love tank finds us, he'll likely rout us all. MC, you hang back, get away, then flank him if you see him. You can handle that much, can't you?
Tanetomo: Okay, time to shoot down everyone else. Let's go Yasuyori.
Yasuyori: (blush)
Tanetomo: ...Yasuyori?
Bug A: I'm in love!
Bug B: My heart's going doki-doki!
Bug C: Love CAN bloom on the battlefield!
Shinya: Um, I'm sorry. (BANG)
Rangers: AAAAAA
Tiger Man: LOOK! It's the Missionaries MVP! He's not doing anything special but he's shooting down everyone! Actually it looks like the mobs are jumping into the shots? What?
Shinya: I honestly thought the Warmongers would be able to show something besides love towards me, but I guess not...wah, someone's behind me!
MC: Fight me Shinya!
Shinya: MC! ...my power really doesn't work on you, doesn't it? I'm bad at competing, but I'm going to try my best to face you head on!
Tanetomo: Stop, MC. Bad dog. Okay Shinya, I know all about you.
Shinya: Um, what do you mean?
Tanetomo: Your power of course. What kind of advisor would I be otherwise? I know how you can't do anything about it and I feel for you.
Shinya: Oh...
Tanetomo: ...but you know what? I hate you and your attitude towards it even more. You try to not use what you have and act like a nobody. But beauty is also strength just like bravery and wisdom are. You have power, so you should act like it! More importantly, I can't stand you getting more attention than me!
MC: Tell us how you really feel! / Actually this is kinda nice.
Tanetomo: ...Yasuyori, pay attention to me again. (smack)
Yasuyori: ...(gasp!) w-what was I doing!?
Tanetomo: I'll tell you later. Get ready to fight. And you, Shinya. Allow me to show you how soldiers live and how much bullets hurt!
Shinya: Sorry, I don't completely understand what you mean, but I do understand you don't like me. Thank you, I finally feel like I'm a part of the event! Cupid, full power!
End of Episode half
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