Y'golonac: WHAT
Hey it's almost been a week of summer host shenanigans.
Ophion: I said we got the project sales ranking yesterday and ours is nowhere near the top.
Y'golonac: But we been tryin' so hard! I know it's weird o' me to be sayin' so!
Ophion: I know. Which is why I also said not to worry about it.
Analysis time!
Ophion: We're doing better than expected in sales with the competitive team service, and I'll agree with Tsukuyomi you have great management skills. You've all grown, and we simply just aren't in first. That's it. We can just keep going as is with doing our best. On that note, my WIIIIFE looks amazing as a host! Be proud of that!
Ophion leaves Y'golonac to frown and goes to MC.
Y'golonac: ...how come we go so hard and still ain't number one in this thing? 'specially after Sarutahiko did his turnaround for all us.
Perun (offscreen): Hmph. That makes it sounds like we've hit a ceiling.
Suddenly Perun's next to Y'golonac, arms folded!
Y'golonac: Oh, it's you. Mind not tellin' e'ryone else yet? Gotta keep morale up and all...
Perun: Coward.
No denials, but also no acceptance.
Perun: Okay fine, but only if I get some carte blanche to act. My time has finally come!
Y'golonac: You WHAT
Flashback!
Perun: Okay so that clown MC was...
Yellow: Um, that's nice but I also wanna hear more about you, Sir!
Perun: I'm getting to the good part!
And so Perun keeps talking until closing time.
Yellow: check please
Present
Y'golonac: How did ya fumble that so BAD?
Perun: ...pffft. An emperor has little to say about themselves.
Y'golonac: Excuse me, what? And that ain't even the only problem! Ya take forever to sing when someone orders a champagne tower, ya won't let customers leave in the middle, and they aren't even real songs! How in HELL didja come up with over ten songs with the only lyrics bein' "Perun" and "la la la"!? Have you been brainwashin' these poor folks ta make them babble like crazies!?
Perun: Wellll, I may have done a little psych imprinting. If Barong has dancing, I have faith invasion!
Perun sees absolutely nothing wrong with this. Y'golonac sighs.
Perun: You seem to be holding back for some reason, but this is war. The host with the most faith won from customers wins and everyone else is a loser who can freeze in the snow telling themselves "I could have made it!"
Y'golonac: (Okay so I did something like he did before, but hmm...)
Perun: Never fear, I shall lead you to victory! And when I do, how about you give me the management position and the right to be MC's roommate?
Y'golonac: WHAT
Perun: Ha! No coward can win against an emperor who conquers and takes by force! If you don't like it, show me how you got to be Kabukicho's Number 2, haha!
Y'golonac: ...but I wanna be number one with everyone here.
Later
Perun: The time has come for ME to lead with the tomfoolery!
He's certainly in a good mood as he stands in the sun.
Bael: Not so fast, Perun. I must step in to stop any illegal abuse of magical powers with my super high school level prosecution skills.
Perun: Oh? You're going to stop me?
Bael: Oh the police are with me. They'll be here soon.
Perun: They will, will they? Oh right, you guys have an ulterior motive for being here. We Invaders know with our espionage skills!
Bael: Go ahead, tell everyone and ruin the summer host program. I wonder what MC might think of you doing that?
Staring contest! Perun blinks first.
Perun: Fine, I'll play along more with the host shenanigans.
Bael: wait where are you going
Later
Ophion: WIIIIFE! Call me "dear" or "husband!"
MC: (indulge him) / (regular customer treatment) / (ignore)
---
(A) Ophion: Yessss, I shall hold you close.
(B) Ophion: This is fine too.
(C) Ophion: You're the only one who can play these games with me. I'll make you look at me!
---
Ophion tries to pull MC in! He misses!
Perun: MINE! Now, to conquest!
The other hosts are surprised!
Ophion: Hands off, my WIIIIFE is MINE!
Y'golonac: Oh my god Perun what are you DOING
Perun: I changed my mind like a good whimsical tyrant and decided to do something more fun! Oh, I'll still lead you to victory. I'm just taking my prize upfront!
MC: HELP / well okay then / (FLAIL SO HARD)
Y'golonac: But it's almost opening time, where you goin'!?
Perun: We're bailing for the day. Bye! (runs out with MC)
Beach Mall
Perun: Okay they shouldn't bother coming this far away from work.
MC: Why ARE we here?
Perun: Leading those fools to victory! You expected me to accept a loss? Now then, what do we need to bring up our situation?
MC: Hmm...
Perun: Hostile takeovers! Monopolize the competition! ...well we need not go so far for this. We just need to make some other point of contact.
Perun and MC walk over to...
Arachne: Oh, MC? You here to see my new swimsuit?
Gyumao: Hey, beach star! I was thinking of visiting soon!
Perun: Ha, rejoice in my decision to personally visit you!
Gyumao: A business proposal, right? Sorry, you need an appointment for--
Perun flaps some flyer at Gyumao.
Gyumao: ...a stamp rally?
MC: a what now / you made Volkh make that didn't you? / OMG an actual plan!?
Perun: Now let us do the dramatic wipe away so I can give you the details offscreen!
Beach Host Club
Y'golonac is trying to stop Shino and Tetsugyuu.
Shino: We're supposed to be MC's bodyguards, so we must go.
Y'golonac: But we need y'all to keep the bar open!
Tetsugyuu: What's Perun's big idea anyway?
Y'golonac: Uh...
One explanation later
Shino: ...Perun's taking MC if he makes the summer host project the number one winner? I should cut your head off for this!
Y'golonac: I know, but dude's the toughest of us! He could stomp us all and just take MC if he felt like!
Shino: Urgh...
Y'golonac: He playin' along with us so we gonna handle it somehow. And he said he make us number one, and he can't be blowin' smoke up our asses. Maybe his power like mine, sorta.
Tetsugyuu: So we SHOULD go over and steal Boss back?
Shino: OR we can win this without him! What else can we do? Plus you just said you had a power like his, Y'golonac!
Elsewhere
Perun: Haha, get behind me MC!
Pichun!
Enigma: You are dead. Please come again.
Perun: WHAT
MC: But this is a video game. But if Enigma is here...
Turing: Good day, love! Enjoying my Edo VR game?
Tsathoggua: Hi MC, want to go get honey sweets together?
Perun: Ah yes, the managers. Rejoice, for I have a proposition!
One stamp rally explanation later
Turing: Hmm, cross promotion to bring in and share customers and boost rankings?
Tsathoggua: And you've already spoken to a lot of people.
Perun's gone to Ifrit and the band too offscreen.
Perun: We accept you, one of us! Join us!
Turing: Sorry, our sponsor's not that interested in sales.
Tsathhoggua stopped paying attention and is playing with Enigma.
Tsathoggua: Hakumen put me up to this, so I figured I'd work with Turing for a video game. I'm not working any harder than this.
Turing: But thanks for coming!
Pichun!
Tsathoggua: Dang that was frame perfect of you.
Enigma: I'm impressed you held up so well against an AI like me.
MC: Whoa! / aimbot too OP pls nerf / Perun let's just go
Perun thinks.
Perun: ...what if I have my school make the best quality honey sweet for you?
Tsathoggua: I'M IN
Perun: Yessss, market dominance!
MC: Really? / this is just bribery / I want some too!
Perun: Okay, one last stop to get to!
Back at the beach host club
Shino: I accept your love! Behold my doggy tricks!
Shino used to deal one on one, but now he's juggling multiple customers at once! Something's up.
Bael: S-Shino are you okay?
Shino: Whatever do you mean, Bano-G? We do what we must to win! So I shall debase myself and bring my customers down with me!
Mobs: YAAAAY
Shino: Ahahaha, I shall win today!
Later
Tetsugyuu: Say it straight, I'm too dumb to get hints.
Mobs: Toast! / Hug! / Belly rub? / Smile for me!
Tetsugyuu: Aww, thanks you guys! I wanna be number one again and pay y'all back! So stick with me until the end!
Super loud cheers!
Barong: Wow, you're motivated today. Keep it up, Tetsugyuu!
Sarutahiko: But bro's suddenly breaking character! This ain't right!
Barong: Whatever makes things more exciting!
Sarutahiko: Uh, feels like they've loosened up tho...
Sarutahiko senses UNCLEANLINESS.
Flashback!
Y'golonac: Boy are you sure!? Mental Corruption kinda makes yer desires blow up ya know.
Shino: I already ruined my dear liege before, and I'll be damned if I let MC be taken by that criminal!
I'll be number one, and t-then MC and I will...I mean I'll protect MC!
Y'golonac: I heard that boy. Then again it doesn't seem too bad so okay. Sheesh, ya change when it comes to MC, heh. You still want this too, Tetsugyuu? Not too late to back out.
Tetsugyuu: I'm just as good as Shino at whatever this is!
Y'golonac: Tsukuyomi told me not to use this but...well he said don't use it on customers so okay...?
Y'golonac has to think on it some more but gives in to Shino and Tetsugyuu's staring.
Y'golonac: Fiiiine, I'll do it. And when ya guys do, y'all gonna work hard for me mkay? Let's get to it!
Shino: Heh. You think you can tame me? I belong to my liege!
Tetsugyuu: I only got one Boss!
Y'golonac: Welp, lessee how Mental Corruption changes y'all or not then!
Ding!
Y'golonac: So! How y'all feelin' now?
Shino: You think this would change me? Hah!
Y'golonac: ...ooh, big boy likes it when I pet him, huh?
Shino: N-no!
He says, tail wagging. Shino notices this.
Y'golonac: Tee hee. You LIKE that, huh? It's okay, cast off your chains o' shame with corruption! Just make the customers happy from the bottom of your heart like a good host!
Tetsugyuu: But I wanna be pet too!
Shino: What are you SAYING!?
Tetsugyuu: W-wait what? huh?
Y'golonac: Welp, good luck out there with the babies!
Present
Y'golonac: oh god I'm so dead if people figure out what I did. Gotta make sure no one snitches...
Tsukuyomi: Hey Y'golonac, you have any idea why Tetsugyuu's acting so weird all of a sudden?
Y'golonac: NUH-UH! NOPE! Nada! No ideas here, nope!
Tsukuyomi: Well that's not suspiciously different of you or anything.
Ring ring!
Perun: HEAR YE HEAR YE, PEASANTS!
Perun's on air throughout all of Odaiba!
End of Episode part
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