Recap!
So the Outlaws are doing a summer host club on the beach of Odaiba! The bar's called the Fabulous Summer Host by the way. Day 1 had Barong winning things for Team Tsukuyomi, Day 2 had Bael winning things for Team Y'golonac with the golem copies. Day 3...?
Tsukuyomi: Hey stars, I shine thanks to you all.
Night King Charisma! Look at all them damn champagne towers he sold! He's ready to cast Essence of Champagne Wave!
Tetsugyuu: Holy shit, you're out of your element and ya still did all that!
Shino: Oh no!
Welp.
Present
Perun: HOW
Y'golonac: Uh, Tsukuyomi saw this comin' somehow. Seems like we gotta use our numbers advantage to get back ahead.
MC: Wow / We can still make it! / We gotta try...!
Perun: Well what are you waiting for, Number 2? Do something!
Y'golonac: B-but I can't use my power...
Bael: Now now, it's only been a day. We can fix this.
Shino: But how...?
Perun: We should use Bael's turnover strategy!
MC: Boo!
Perun: Y'golonac, ideas? You know this thing best!
Y'golonac: Uhhhh, giving out fanbook of revelations pages for every ten visits for repeat customers?
Tsukuyomi is listening in on Team Y'golonac's meeting and looks displeased.
Sarutahiko: Uh, something wrong?
Tsukuyomi: Oh, I was worried Team Y'golonac was going to try something problematic. Kinda reminds me of this one time where I hoped we could be allies.
Sarutahiko doesn't get Tsukuyomi. And so Team Y'golonac DOES try something iffy.
Later
Bug A: ...I've been coming every day but I don't feel so special anymore.
Guy B: I know right? They're getting too focused on their contest when we're paying customers!
This happens sometimes after the contest was announced.
Guy B: The bossy host actually took the lead for me earlier!
Bug A: service sucks, 1/whatever, would not come again. And posted.
Sarutahiko and Tetsugyuu notice the customers leaving!
Tetsugyuu: Damn, are they struggling over there?
Sarutahiko: I guess. It's a reminder we gotta keep focused on our customers.
Tetsugyuu: Did the Night King see this coming? He coulda said something.
Sarutahiko: Who knows what celestials are thinking? But he might've said something earlier?
Sarutahiko and Tetsugyuu go back inside.
Reverse Amanojaku: Sup jackasses, I was about to bail since you took so long!
Qinglong: And for once this morning you kept yelling about wanting to come here.
Reverse Amanojaku: (gasp!)
Amanojaku: Why'd you have to say that, you jerk!?
Sarutahiko: Hey you two. Huh, did I ever say I'd be working as a host here?
Girimekhala: Hotei's been yelling about it everywhere.
Tianzun: Hmm, you boys have been very naughty for keeping a party like this a secret. Verrry naughty.
Sarutahiko: Dammit I forgot to gag him! I bet he thought he was helping!
Sarutahiko looks around worried his other friends are here.
Girimehkala: It's cool, the other Asakusa peeps said they'll come later. We were worried it'd look like a gang war if we all came together.
Sarutahiko: Shit, they're probably right. But why are teachers here too? That's gonna be SO awkward!
Qinglong: Now now, I just wanted to see my students working hard. Oh! Peach juice! Tetsugyuu, a bottle of that please...okay?
Amanojaku: Let's share!
Qinglong: You should pick something you like. They have fruit platters so...ooh, how about this one with a whole peach?
Amanojaku: ...no, you'll let go too much.
Tetsugyuu: Heh, coming right up babe!
Qinglong: Wow it feels so weird being called that.
Sarutahiko: Shaaame! SHAME!
Tianzun: Now now like I always say, sometimes going with the flow is how you win. Come on, Girimekhala! Order something, our treat.
Girimekhala: Really? Cool! Uh, Sarutahiko what's this Bubbly Special whatever?
Sarutahiko: (GASP!)
Sarutahiko: uhhhh...it's a special thing for customers who pick me...
Reverse Amanojaku: Which means you want us to order it right? You DO, huh? RIGHT?
Sarutahiko: Just get a normal drink okay!?
Qinglong: But why? How about I order one since Tianzun pays?
Tianzun: I'm not paying for you.
The Umamichi folk go order Tetsugyuu and Sarutahiko's specials!
Reverse Amanojaku: Hey look, we ordered it! So, whatcha gonna do about it? Make him do it, Girimekhala!
Girimekhala: UHHH
Sarutahiko: GODDAMMIT FINE
Sarutahiko suddenly hugs Girimekhala.
Sarutahiko: Hey ducky, how about you make a toast with me with your trunk?
Girimekhala: O-oh my god???
Sarutahiko kneels a little so he looks up at Girimekhala as he comes in. Girimekhala steps back and slips!
Girimekhala: oop--AAAAAHH (flump)
Sarutahiko: Oh god are you okay!? I'll pull you up!
Some time later, Tsukuyomi walks over.
Tsukuyomi: Hey Barong, Sarutahiko? There's a customer I wanna send to you guys.
Sarutahiko: Okay!
Sometimes customers pick one specific host, and sometimes they shop around.
Hei Long Yi Quan: Wow, it's nice in here again! Well what do you expect with the Night King, eh?
Barong: Welcome kitt--oh hey it's you again.
HLYQ: Hi! Wow you remember me even though I picked the other team last time? Tsukuyomi asked me to come today, and I wanted to come when you guys officially opened. Also the BEL48 thing blew up on the net!
Sarutahiko stares at HLYQ in deja vu until he recognizes him.
Sarutahiko: Holy shit, Barong we gotta talk!
Barong: What?
Sarutahiko: That's Hei Long Yi Quan! He's a huge influencer! Tsukuyomi's gonna have our asses if we mess this up!
Tsukuyomi notices Sarutahiko looking at him and winks.
Sarutahiko: This is a huge--wait Barong where'd you go
Barong: Hey kitty, nice bod. Wanna dance with me?
HLYQ: Ooh, nice. But next time! I'd derail the video if I did.
Sarutahiko: GODDAMMIT BARONG
Barong: What? He's still a customer, influencer or whatever.
HLYQ catches Sarutahiko's eyes and starts putting on a voice.
HLYQ: Hey, you're...Sarutahiko? Can we talk? Pleeease?
Sarutahiko: Uhhhh okay?
Sarutahiko sighs and thinks about what Barong said.
Sarutahiko: Welcome! Mind if I call you ducky?
HLYQ: Sure! I call everyone in chat Master, so that's about the same thing.
Sarutahiko: Okay, hold out your glass while I pour you a welcome drink.
And so Sarutahiko and Hei Long Yi Quan have a talk and drink. Nice times.
HLYQ: Thanks guys, I had fun!
Barong: I'm glad you look so happy!
Sarutahiko: Are you going to go ask for Tsukuyomi and Tetsugyuu next? They'll be opening new tables soon.
HLYQ: Ooh, slick! But sorry, I'm scheduled for the bossy host next.
Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko Doomer Vision activate!
HLYQ: So I tried the bossy host and he's good if you're into that!
Chat: "Yeah!" "he sucks" "I want HLYQ" "okay captain obvious" "i'm out bruh"
Present
Sarutahiko: (oh god that could happen)
Sarutahiko Memory Trigger!
Takamagahara Peeps: "TRAITOR" "shaaame" "what a JERK"
Bathhouse Customers: "oh my god a punk" "freaky" "I'm taking my business elsewhere!"
Present
Sarutahiko: Uh, how about you pick me again? I wanna talk some more.
Sarutahiko slips character for a second.
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whoa! I shouldn't stay with one person for too long though, so how about we play Tug A Yi Quan?
Barong: Oh my god Sarutahiko, you can't just stop customers from going around!
Sarutahiko falters from self-aware possible overthinking, but his Insight says he has to stop him!
Sarutahiko: Pleeease, ducky?
HLYQ has an idea.
HLYQ: How about we have a dance off for my video then? If you get the most Likes/tips, then I'll go with you again.
Barong and Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko: Stacking the deck much with a dancer here!?
HLYQ: Well I'm no dancer either. So you in or out?
Sarutahiko: ...okay fine! Dammit, I shoulda got more dance tips from Barong!
Sarutahiko gives a "throw me a bone" look to Barong.
Barong: Uh, what? Anyways, I'm going all out!
Sarutahiko: Oh FML! FIIIINE, I just have to win, right!?
HLYQ: Why not go for do better? Hey chat, here comes our Beasty Boys Gone Wild time!
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)
The customers are going wild over the three-way dance off! Obviously Barong is doing the best. Sarutahiko is fighting for his life, and Hei Long Yi Quan...
HLYQ: Oh nooo, I tripped again~. Guys, pick me up? ^3-
Randos: OMG WE STAN
Barong: Whoa, this is a whole new dimension of excited in here!
HLYQ: Well it's the difference between your normal stage and having multiple cameras. And I'm a pro at working those clever, innocent, and flirty angles!
Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko: ...right, no need to compete the same ways.
HLYQ: You guys are great! I think I'm gonna get a whole new world of fans! Thanks for going with my surprise video performance, I'll pick you next time Sarutahiko! (hands Sarutahiko a ton of tips and heads over to the other team)
Barong: Nice he likes you, whoever he is!
Sarutahiko: Uh, I didn't really want customers or tips tho.
Later
Hei Long Yi Quan: ...oh, you came to walk me over? Did you want to be my Master too? ...kidding.
Sarutahiko is surprised!
HLYQ: I bet you're worried about the other host team that's been getting talked about. It's alright! Everyone worries about getting blasted in reviews and stuff, but at least I won't. But why are you asking me this now?
Sarutahiko: What? We're on different teams, but they're still basically my coworkers.
HLYQ: Oh. But weren't you worried about getting review bombed for trying to stop me?
Sarutahiko: oof okay that was wrong of me but I didn't think that far!
HLYQ: Hehe, sorry about teasing you. But you know what? No one knows how things might turn out tomorrow. You might end up being the sole survivor of a shipwreck. Ask me how I know.
Sarutahiko: !!
HLYQ's phone rings. Streamer friend message alert!
End of Episode part
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