Friday, January 13, 2023

Holy Night Gangstar Episode 4 Part 2 (Abridged)

Bertro (narrating): This one time, I found a cat. He was probably abandoned by his previous owner, and he was all beat up. It happens a lot. He struggled on, like there was somewhere safe up ahead.
...
Bertro (narrating): The world is built on war. No such thing as a free lunch. And that cat lost. It wasn't actually me that was interested in the cat, but the wolf with me. Maybe they were lonely because they were away from Freki, its other half. I was responsible for that...so I picked the cat up.
Bertro (narrating): Then I picked up a bunch of cats. I didn't see any logical reason to abandon them myself, and eventually I was called Don Lmao You Know It's Me talking about all this of the Pete Family. Also, Pete was a name I read out of a book one time. This happened long before the mafia wars in the slums.

Flashback!
Bertro: Oh, Don Simurgh. Where's Zhurong?
Simurgh: He went inside to sleep. Probably tired out from crying.
Bertro: Oh okay. I'll go rest too since the decoration is done. Call me if something happens.
Simurgh: ...right, thanks for your work. I promise to pay you back for helping the children.
Bertro: Haha, it's cool. I did it because I wanted to.
Bertro goes inside.

Zhurong: ZZZ...
Bertro silently walks up. He's about to reach for Zhurong's throat when...

Fuxi: What a surprise to see you here. What are you doing? (not surprised)

Fuxi: So, Warmongers Guildmaster. Or maybe Don of the Pete Family? You are the one who gathered stray cats into an actual organization, right?
Bertro: Yep! (figured Fuxi would be there) You're too late to stop me if that was your plan. No one can stop the war.
Fuxi: It sounds like you wanted me to stop you.
Bertro: ...this was the only plan I could come up with to give them a home. This became inevitable when I became involved. Also it's surprising you're ignoring the aurora (re: reason) your sister left you, but that was why I assumed you'd just sit by even if I did make a move on Zhurong.
Fuxi: Heh. Zhurong is different from that aurora, he doesn't cause panic. And frankly I don't care about anything besides fortune telling and my sister.
Bertro: Interesting. I'll keep that in mind for the future.
Fuxi: The "future." Heh. Hehe. HEHehehehEHE. How long will this game go on?
Bertro: ...we keep repeating and retrying all of this. We keep looking for the door to a different future like that cat in the book did.
Zhurong moves a little.

Bertro: Let's get down to business. Just to be clear, I'm not here to hurt Zhurong. Just...
Bertro takes Zhurong's camera and removes the limiter another guild installed into it in the past.

Present
Teda: ...so you came to fight me?
Fuxi: Yes, we're all after the one prize.
Teda: Yeah I guess. But...you looking down on me? You really think you can solo a warrior like me?
Fuxi: Yes, I'm the type to wait it out. You're the worst kind of opponent I could take...if you were at your best. It was a mistake letting him take your picture.
Both get ready to fight, but then Teda falls to his knees!

Teda: What!?
An aurora is shining above Simurgh's hideout!

Teda: The power of Heaven's Demon, Zhurong!?
Fuxi: (smirks) It's just my interpretation, but Zhurong has the power to take the light of life and color from others. To be affected by that power, you must have your picture taken by him. Remember that? And your power is strong enough to light an entire world. This seems to have worked, ehehHEHE. Yes, my picture was taken too, but my fighting style doesn't need my stamina. (pulls out cards)
Teda: Oh. I didn't suspect anything because you had a picture taken too. Clever.
Fuxi: Dance for me!
Teda: Bring it!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Teda: Not bad, Fuxi. This was way more fun than I expected!
Fuxi: Ugh. I make all these plans and you still have that much energy to--
Teda barely dodges Fuxi's card, except it blows up on him! Fuxi goes for the follow up!

Teda: Ow! But that was fun!
Fuxi: ...hmph. Every single World Representative is insane!
Teda slips through Fuxi's legs and starts raining light arrows on him. Fuxi barely moves and grazes the attack.
Fuxi: ...oh yes, I wanted to ask you something for a long time.
Teda: Well okay. What is it?
Business as usual for World Representatives.

Fuxi: You believe it's natural for Them to love you, which is why you can sympathize better than the others. Me, I've always told them I loved them in our home world. I never got through though, and I worry about what to do. How'd you show your love?

Teda is so surprised he stops attacking.
Fuxi: ...Teda?
Teda: ...don't...
Fuxi: What?
Teda: I DON'T LOVE THEM AT ALL!
Fuxi: ...pfffft, HAHAHA!
Teda: Stop laughing! (fires again)
Fuxi: Whoopsie. I honestly never expected you to say that.
The laughing and arrow shooting continues for a while.

Fuxi: You could stand to be cuter sometimes.
Teda: Shut up!
Fuxi: I'm serious. I'm honestly jealous you can refuse to see you love them yet be so convinced they love you.
Teda: I don't think anything of MC at all!
Fuxi: Since when did I bring up MC?

Fuxi smiles again at seeing Teda shocked. Teda however thinks he got a look at Fuxi's hidden feelings.
Teda: ...oh, is that how it is?
Fuxi: What?
Teda: I finally get it. You afraid the dumdum doesn't love you? Cute! You can see how the world's going but you can't see how you feel yourself!
Fuxi: ...little bitch.
Teda: I must be right!
Teda actually lands something for the first time this battle!

Teda: I know I'm loved, so I'm the one pursued unlike you! I'm better than anyone, and I believe I'm their sun!
Fuxi: I really do hate you.
Fuxi readies a card. Teda readies an arrow.

Fuxi: ...how about we stop here? We've stalemated.
Teda: ...that was the plan. I can see you're stalling, Fuxi. So, what's this war about? What's next?

Fuxi: ...this incident is being intervened with by two future readers, me and Bertro. We've both seen the destruction of both sides. But...if you are correct about my ability to read myself and Bertro is the same, it's possible this dispute is happening elsewhere. World Representatives are a little too powerful compared to actual involved parties and can end it quickly, so it was necessary for us to keep each other occupied. Satisfied?
Teda: ...I hate how you talk like you know everything.
Fuxi: Let's pretend the other doesn't exist then.
Somewhere nearby people are yelling. "MC shot Don Simurgh! Find them!

Teda: ...dumdum's in trouble. I'm gonna help, and I don't see why they'd shoot Simurgh anyway. What about you? Gonna sit back pretty and wait for them to come back?
Fuxi: Such cheap taunts. But yes, I'm going!
Teda: Race you to see who helps MC first!
Fuxi decides to go south and Teda goes north. But then Teda changes his mind.

Teda: Hey wait! I wanna go south!
Fuxi: ...heh, okay then. I'll go north.

Back to the flashback with Bertro and Fuxi!
Bertro: Wanna make a bet, Fuxi?
Fuxi: Okay. I've been bored since no one will play with me lately.
Bertro: Haha, you haven't even heard what the bet is yet.
Fuxi: Well let's hear it then. I won't be backing out of course.
Bertro: Okay...how about we bet on what tonight's weather will be?
Fuxi: ...that's more mundane than I was expecting. Not really a challenge for the Creator of the Bagua.
Bertro still looks unperturbed.
Fuxi: ...alright then. According to my prediction, it will continue snowing.
Bertro: Heh. I predict tonight's weather will be [REDACTED]
Fuxi: ...impossible.
Bertro: No, I'm serious. I got a 1/52 chance of winning based on my calculations of conditions. Me making the long shot bullseye will be my present to you.
End of Episode

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