Cat A: Guys is this really okay?
Cat B: We just need to do what our don says! Has he ever been wrong?
Cat C: It's like he can see the FEW-CHURR! And he picked up us strays and made us family!
Hmm, Bertro silhouette.
Cat B: We're the Pete Family and we're going to Don [REDACTED]!
And so they ride to war.
Elsewhere
Arakawa is bright and cheery for Late Christmas for the children! But in the background, things are getting closer to X Day...
Cat D: You're gonna go to hell, Simurgh Family! Everyone else is too cautious! We can just--who's behind me!? (swings)
Hermes: Whomp whomp, you missed.
Cat D: OOF
Hermes takes the KOed cat mob to Simurgh.
Hermes: Lookie what I found coming over peeking in!
Simurgh: Wow, you actually want to help me?
Hermes: You kidding? Does it look like I wanna be part of a gang war? There's just been a lot more creeps trying to kidnap children around here lately, so could you sort that out soon?
Simurgh: I know, I don't plan on owing you any more.
Ose: Kidnapping? That makes sense. Residents here have hard to trace talents, so they could be sold off. The children could be raised and trained for rare talents if you ignore the costs and--
Simurgh looks disapprovingly.
Ose: This is just an objective analysis, please stop looking at me like that. You could have more power than you have now too if you made a move on the residents.
Simurgh: Shut up. The family's big enough as is for now. If people want to join, fine. I just won't take children from their homes.
Ose: ...ah, so that's where you draw the line? Okay, sorry for what I said.
Hermes: ...I'mma go now then. I'll never hear the end of it if I keep them waiting.
Hermes leaves. Bertro comes in.
Bertro: Don Simurgh, most of the slum children have gathered outside. Thanks to you, the risk of them getting caught in the crossfire of battle has been reduced heavily. All you have left to do is keep out everyone else unrelated to the Tokyo Slums. Any plans?
Simurgh: My men have already called to tell me they've sealed the city.
Bertro: Great! The snow Thunderdrome of cats and sparrows is done then!
Simurgh: ...yes. Now it's time to make the donuts...
Later
Boy A: Miss! One more song! A new song!
Benten: Okay! Hermes, you play too!
Hermes: Sure, just a little bit. I just finished a job, so gimme some down time.
Zhurong: Oh! It's him! Uh, from that street show!
Hermes: Oh god it's the camera boy. You came all this way after me!?
Benten: Ooh, he's good! It's not often you looking surprised gets caught on camera. Hey kid, take some pictures of tonight's show too if you want!
The children cheer, and people gather.
Fuxi: ...Zhurong, have you taken pictures of MC by chance?
Zhurong: Yes, plenty! Why?
Fuxi: PLEASE LET ME SEE THEM ALL AND MAYBE LET ME HAVE THE DATA
Zhuring: Uh...I guess it's okay since you're their brother? (starts showing pictures)
Fuxi: Mmmmm...
MC: We could have taken some together if you wanted them so bad / oh no
(A) Fuxi: You promise? Let's take all the pictures after it's all over.
Zhurong: Wow, thanks! Not many people are that happy when looking at the pictures.
Benten: Zhurong, I'm ready for my close up! Make it a banger!
Zhurong: Okay! Fuxi, I need the camera back.
Fuxi reluctantly gives the camera back. Zhurong gets ready to take pictures again when...
Zhurong: Noo, Teda you're in the way!
Teda: Haha, just take pictures of me!
Zhurong tries moving around. Teda gets back in the way. Everyone else laughs at this.
Benten: ...and, bam! How was that, guys?
Children: Do it again!
Benten: Aww, thanks! I got something to do though, so gimme a sec!
Ose: Nice playing you two. We got lots of people here thanks to your performance.
Hermes: I thought you'd be showing up right about now. Welp, time to get to work eh?
Ose: Jiraiya's holding the first defense line by himself. We should meet up with him.
Hermes: ...just so you know, we aren't here to play with fire along with you. Got it?
Ose: Yep. But before that...Teda!
Teda: Aww, I was in the middle of playing with the kids. What's up?
Ose: You're the one who brough Hermes and the others here, so go take point for them. Oh, and MC. The boss is calling for you and the others.
MC: Huh. What for...?
Inside
Simurgh: There you are. Sit down.
There's less guards here than usual. Bertro and Koropokkur are the only other people here. Also, Bertro's in a suit now instead of a Santa costume.
MC: Why are you dressed like that? / WHOA / Nice!
Bertro: Haha, what do you think friend-o? Don't I look great like this too?
Teda and Fuxi are here now too in mafia suits!
MC: what / nice
Simurgh: I called you here to explain that.
Teda: Lean on me, MC!
Teda and Zhurong sit next to MC. Fuxi stands behind MC looking annoyed.
MC: What? / What now...? / You two are really close
(C) Teda: What? Isn't it nice that I'm warming you up from the cold like this?
Zhurong: Photo Club Senpai told me hugging someone warms them up!
Simurgh faintly smiles at this before focusing back to talk.
Simurgh: I thought I should tell you that we're about to go to war with the Pete Family.
MC: !!
Simurgh: If you all leave now, you'll be caught in the fighting. I don't want the fuzz in my business either. (looks at Zhurong in concern)
Simurgh: ...Zhurong, the dice has been rolled. It looks like it'll be hard for this to turn out peacefully.
Zhurong: Uncle...
Zhurong looks conflicted. Simurgh gives a faint smile.
Red: ...
Simurgh: Zhurong, MC. You two stay with the kids until it's all over.
MC: Okay / I'm not into spectating / You telling me to protect the kids?
Simurgh: ...this isn't an order. Just hang tight until their requests go through. (gestures to Fuxi and Bertro)
Fuxi: Please, relax once in a while. I'll be right back, don't you worry.
Bertro: I'm the one who witnesses the front line. Would you mind waiting in the back?
MC: Why are you two in a mafia war!? / Why are you telling me to stay back? / ...what's your deal
Fuxi and Bertro: It'd be better in the end that way!
Fuxi and Bertro: ...oh?
Simurgh: Okay, message sent. You figure out what it means.
Beep beep.
Simurgh: Seems they've started...come with me if you want to die.
And so the people who've chosen battle for a karmic living head out.
Teda: Me too then! ...what's up, MC? You wanna say something? If there's a battle, I'll be there because that's the duty of a king and hero!
Fuxi: Hehe. Will you say "hurry back, big brother"? I'll work harder if you do.
MC: Teda, stop! / Big Brother, stay safe at least / ...
Everyone says their piece to MC before heading out to fight. Zhurong and Simurgh watch them silently go.
Simurgh: ...sometimes, there are people who only live for battle. If you aren't one of them, you don't need to choose to do so.
MC: Thanks for caring / But I don't like being pushed around / ...feels like you're looking down on me
(A) Simurgh: You don't find that many people who care about you over a long life, so it's best to treasure those who do. It only takes a second for you to lose them...
(B) Simurgh: ...you live your life however you want. They are. If something feels off, there might be a way to compromise. Life's like that.
(C) Simurgh: You think? All of them have a certain strength and can do something by themselves...so they chose to do this.
Simurgh stands up.
Zhurong: ...Uncle, let's wait for everyone together.
Simurgh: ...I'm Don Simurgh, and this is the job I started. With these wings, I can keep war casualties down...and I'm going to tell the enemies to surrender. Anyone who accepts will be accepted into the family. This is the best kindness I can do...I won't tell you to understand that.
Simurgh's men are shook because Simurgh never did anything that nice before!
Zhurong: ...nooo!
MC: ...wait. (stands in front of Simurgh)
Simurgh: What, you wanna fight? Will you say something if you're coming along?
MC: Not that! I'm saying I'll protect you.
Zhurong: Wait, what!?
Simurgh: ...(sigh). Big words, shaky. No wait...you're doing this for Zhurong? Whatever. I can heal you if you don't die first. (summons birds)
Simurgh: ...let's go.
Later
Cat A: ...almost time. Ready?
Cat B: Like you have to ask. We lose, we die.
Cat C: Oh, the stars have come to bless us. (looks at the sky)
Cat D: ...huh. Something feels weird.
Cat E: Yeah, aren't they getting brighter someho--
Flashbang! And a rain of light arrows!
Teda: Alright, they're silenced! Tell me where the next group is!
Hermes: Stop yelling! Or at least move your radio further away!
Jiraiya: Man, why he gotta try to stand in the spotlight like that so much?
Benten: Guys, wait! Is this really the only way? It's so one-sided!
Nobody else says anything.
Hermes: I guess I do get where you're coming from, but...this is just how it is in this life. Same for guildmates fighting...same thing happened in my home world.
Jiraiya: It's easy when both sides are evildoers that can't be saved but...these guys just can't give up their positions. Both bear the label of evil, and all I can do is keep children from being drawn in.
Benten: Teda, you think so too?
No radio response.
Hermes: Nothing. Teda? Teda!?
Still nothing. The three think something's wrong.
Later
Teda's radio is destroyed because someone threw a card at it.
Teda: This ain't your part of the job. What are you doing here, Fuxi?
Fuxi: Heh, sorry to interrupt you while you're busy. Come join me with my plans for a bit.
Elsewhere
Koropokkur is at his designated spot that Bertro told him to go. No one seems to be around.
Koropokkur: Bertro, can you hear me? Nobody's here! Your calculations are wrong!
Bertro: No, they're right. Look, I'm right here.
Koropokkur: ...what's going on?
Somewhere else
Simurgh: ...what's wrong? Worried about going to fight?
MC: Sorta. I'm used to this, but something seems off.
Simurgh: ...I see, me too. I've always lived like this, and...I'm a little tired of it.
MC: It's okay. I'll protect you from any enemy!
Red: (Any enemy, they say)
MC, Simurgh, and Simurgh's men make it to the battle lines in short order. Simurgh summons his birds to his side of the fight, healing those the birds land on. This bothers the Pete Family into stopping for a second, so Simurgh steps forward to tell them to stand down.
Simurgh: Surrender, and you can join my family. You should know you can't win like this.
The cats bristle at this.
Cat A: Your lies won't work on us!
Cat B: Charge! Get the boss!
Simurgh: ...sad. Do it.
Simurgh's men stand in front of him and shoot down the cats. Simurgh looks sad at this.
Red: Don, I don't think you needed to put yourself in this much danger to try to talk to them. Will they even believe you?
Simurgh: I know, but I've always lived at the bottom of society. I just don't want kids drawn into this. Maybe things have reversed...
Simurgh sends his birds to the KOed cats.
Simurgh: Tie them up and leave them somewhere else.
Simurgh's men do so. The ones that don't go to the next fight.
Red: ...you've changed. You one said you'd do anything to protect your family.
BANG
MC: OH NO
Red: The don once said that birds that grow up leave the nest. Well that time has come for me. Don't worry, I'll protect the family instead. (turns to his radio piece)
Red: U GAIZ MC SHOT THE BOSS
Simurgh's Hideout
Zhurong: ...Uncle?
End of Episode half
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