Christmas Showdown Thief Side Episode 1 Part 1 (Abridged)

Hermes (narrating): So there's like a ton of police officers inside and out the Santa School. Getting inside will be hard, and scoping it out from close by would be risky. All I can do now is wait for a better chance. I originally came to figure out their patrol patterns and figure out when and where I could sneak in. I'm also waiting for this one student to leave the school since they were brought in for some reason despite all the security.
Hermes (narrating): I was surprised that this student spoke directly to the headmaster like they knew him, so maybe I could use them somehow. It seems like they came on their way home after school, so they have to come back out sometime.
Hermes (narrating): Okay finally they're here. Dunno what their deal is since they look like any old student on the street. They don't look like they've gotten any special training based on how they walk, but I'm gonna keep stalking and watching them.
Hermes (narrating): I can see them talking to something apparently invisible. Since they're looking to the side they don't notice someone coming up ahead, and wouldn't you know it some wolf thug bumps into them. He's that one accident faker and dine and dasher the police have been looking for. It's probably gonna be a fight. Welp, time to move.

Yasha: Aw bitch, I haven't gotten any customers in today. Where's a sucker I can get some money out o--oh.
Yasha: Hi hottie!★ Wanna come check out School Uniform Cafe for Nerds? (^3^)
Hermes: What, you talking to me? I'm too busy to get ripped off by fetish places.
Yasha: YOU WANNA START SOMETHING ASSHOLE?
Hermes: Say it louder for the back of the class why don't ya. It's not like I've got a sucker to dupe or anything.
Yasha: Huh? You mean that wolf over there?
Hermes: They're mine, got it? You're gonna ruin my plans if you try something.
Yasha: What, he rich or something if you care that much? Ha! Watch me!
Yasha: Oh Mister Fluffybutt, can I have a moment of your time? <3
Yasha: Ha ha, hook, line, and sinker. Hello, motherload!
Hermes (narrating): Criminals who victimize other people will end up coming across other criminals who do the same thing. I wonder who's gonna get who? I can't be bothered to care much, but now I've got a chance! What was their name...MC? It's Taking Advantage of Other People Time!

Later
MC is going back to Ded's office again.
Hougen: Hi MC. Made a decision?
MC: I'll join the thieves / I'm gonna be naughty / The treasure is mine!
(Bang)
Black: Did I hear you say naughty? I see you have chosen death! ...inasmuch as this is training and I don't actually shoot people dead.
Hougen: No Ded, stop! You're going to ruin everything! I wanna give MC such a spanking now...hurhurhur.
Black: Damn. Well thanks for helping. Don't blow the surprise!
Hougen: Well I'm looking forward to seeing what tricks you pull. As for the other members of the thieves, it'd be better for you to meet them outside of the school.
Black: I have Jiraiya's number. You guys should pick somewhere to meet, then call White once you have your gang settled. He said he'd do something for your thief costumes. Bah!
MC: Okay! / Bye! / Have mercy
---
(C) Black: Don't get all soft on me! Go at it like you mean it!
---
Black: Don't think we'll go easy on you because you're a student, or else you won't make it in! Get working on those plans!

MC texts Jiraiya around the time they reach the school doors. Jiraiya texts back to say come to Shibuya.
Jiraiya: Hey, MC! It's been a spell! You doing good? I'm glad we're on the same side. Buckle up for a ride!
MC: Hi again Jiraiya! / Glad to have you / I came because of you
---
(C) Jiraiya: Aww, thanks! I'll give you a hand if you need it too.
---
Jiraiya: So! Santa School's all under heavy guard and we can't take too long on making our plans. And we're gonna set up shop in Shibuya which isn't too near and too far from there!
MC: Yeah, scouting will be easy from here / I see / I don't get it but you sound like a pro
(AB) Jiraiya: I'm glad you're quick on the uptake. Maybe you'd be good as a thief hero?
(C) Jiraiya: Ha! You haven't seen the last of my tricks yet! 

Jiraiya: Phantom thieves, huh? I mean I go for showy when doing my main job, but they do it all the way when nabbing the loot and afterwards. The way they announce themselves before the heist...is so cool! Even if it does make sneaking in harder...
Jiraiya: ...okay, let's put together a crew of thieves here with whoever!
MC: Cool! / Are we getting other ninjas? / Know anyone good?
(A) Jiraiya: Glad to see you're into this! This sounds like fun...but I dunno who we should get.
(BC) Jiraiya: About that...

Jiraiya: I could ask the guys I know in my main job since I'll know they can hack it... If us working together just happens it's fine, but asking beforehand means I'll owe them and I don't want that.
MC: Kotarou? / Goemon?
(A) Jiraiya: Yeah! Like hell will I bow to the leader of the Fuuma!
(B) Jiraiya: He and I are natural enemies and I'm never gonna ask! Not even for you!

Jiraiya: Sooo that means I don't have any ideas on who to ask. Do you kno--
???: THERE YOU ARE BITCH
Jiraiya: What? Someone fighting around here?
Over by the train station
Wolf: I can't BELIEVE you scammed me!
Hermes: literally who
Wolf: Don't give me that! You set me up at Shinjuku the other day!
Hermes (dramatic gesturing): Ohhh! You! Now I remember. How was the ripoff place?
Wolf: You really DO remember what happened!

MC: I saw those two in Shinjuku the other day. (explains)
Jiraiya: ... (nods) Got it! Leave it to me!
MC: Where are you going!? / What are you looking for? / Why are you standing on a street light...?
Jiraiya: I'm getting up somewhere high of course! If I'm gonna make a big dramatic entrance to break up a fight, I have to make witty remarks from up high!
Before Jiraiya can say anything...
???: STOOOOP
Strumming noises.
MC: Oh no it's Benten! / why / Yaass queen!

Wolf: Problem, bitch? You a friend of bird boy!?
Benten: No. And what if I am? And yes I have a problem! I'm trying to get viral on Not Twitter after I go post a vid about the guy playing his music and you are in the way! You wanna talk to him, then wait until AFTER the show!
Wolf: wat. I don't care about your nonsense! I am trying to--
Jiraiya: STOOOOP! A hero is here to tell you guys to stop shouting! The chivalrous thief Jiraiya, faster than lightning beasts! Brighter than the sun, with no clouds in the sky! And here I am to stop the fight! Super ninja jump, go!

Benten: ...Jiraiya? That super broke-ass triple shifter third year who skips class all the time? That Jiraiya?
Jiraiya: Ack! How did you know!? You go to the same school I do?
Benten: I also heard that you hate snakes, can't really turn down requests, and studied under some toad hermit.
Jiraiya: H-how do you know so much!? Are you an info broker? Am I too famous now!?
Benten: It really IS you!? OMG Senpai, let's take a selfie together! I met someone rare and famous from our school! Our classmates are going to fav the pic SO HARD!
MC: What a coincidence / You skip classes a lot too, Jiraiya? / I want a pic too!

Wolf: GODDAMMIT GIRL! First you stick your nose into a fight and now you're talking crazy! I don't care anymore, I'll take all of you!
Benten: What, you wanna fight loser? Bring it!
Wolf: W-wait I was the one provoked here and--
Jiraiya: You're gonna regret picking a fight with me, punk!
MC: Jiraiya you came to stop this / oh no they both sound like bad guys! / I don't even care anymore
Hermes: Guys can I just leave
BATTLE START

Live A Hero Chapter 4 Episode 13: Direct Lightning Strike (Abridged)

Space
Broker: Oh no, they killed an Observer again. I must give a strongly worded warning and wag my finger the next time we meet. But an Observer that weak isn't worth getting that upset about. If MC stays alive and well, that universe is salvageable. I shall recline on my space chair and continue watching just like I have been this entire time.
Earth
Huckle: Pain... (flump)
Mokdai: DIRECTOR HUCKLE!
MC: OH NO DIRECTOR ARE YOU OKAY!?
Akashi: Hang on I'm com--(dodges)--whoa!
Monster Procys block the way
Crowne Alter: Bitch, you wanna get over here you talk to the guards.
Monster Procys multiply again.

Akashi: Why won't these things die already!?
Ryekie: Get out of the way! Huckle, hang in there!
MC: Ryekie, the tentacle is coming from the front! Stop!
Ryekie: Wha--(smacked into a wall)--gahh!
Sui: So we have to avoid the tentacle and destroy the monsters to get over there...?
Mokdai: N-no way, we can't deal with all that! B-but then...!
Crowne Alter: Nice. Dance for me, dipshits!

Crowne: What did you just do to Huckle!?
Melide: Forced Observer separation...
Yoshiori: And what the hell is that!?
Melide: Observers are what happens when you fuse two people from different universes into one being. It's like having two souls in one body. They just pulled one of them away by force...and destroyed it, killing the other person that was inside Huckle. The original person's personality has died, leaving an empty shell...
Crowne: OH MY GOD
Monomasa: How can you be so cruel to other people!? How can you be so calm after killing someone so terribly!?

Crowne Alter: Are you really asking me that? I hate everyone besides me and wish they'd drop dead. You know how it is, right Sui?
Sui: ...! (stiffens and looks away in shame)
Crowne Alter: Tch, pussy. But then again, that's just like you. Oh right, you're getting in the way. Eat it! (kicks Huckle in the chest repeatedly)
Huckle: Agh! Can't...move..!
Ryekie: S-stop! Huckle, run!
Crowne Alter: Look, he said run! Run, fat boy, run! C'mon! Run like a bitch!
Huckle: Urgh! Ungh! (gets kicked down a hole in the ground) Aaahhh...!
Ryekie: HUCKLE! Damn you...!

Crowne Alter: HA HA! Why don't you do something about it, Zap the Justice!? Gonna let someone die again, just like Back Then!?
Ryekie: !!!
Akashi: Ryekie, we'll handle the mobs! You go get the director!
Crowne Alter: Stop struggling and die already! Don't think your stupid plans will save anything!
Monster Procy: (hits Akashi)
Akashi: Agh!
Mokdai: Oh no!

Huckle: E-everyone! Calm down, I'm still okay! Focus on the Monsters...!
MC: Director, something's behind you!
Huckle: Wha...!?
Giant tentacle comes in and splits into four to sweep around. Huckle attempts to evade it in vain.
Huckle: B-body can't move right...!
Melide: Yoshiori! Shoot near that street light!
Yoshiori: Eat space lead! ...I'm hitting something but it isn't reacting! I'm going in! Hang in there a bit longer!
Melide: Oh no! You won't make it in time!
Huckle is getting dragged into the Monster's mouth along with a bunch of rubble.
Huckle: Agh...!
MC: NO
Monster: nom
Ryekie: ...!!! HUUUUCKLLLLEEEEE!!!

Inside the Monster
Huckle: ...huh? Oh. Right. The giant thing ate me. Well that was sad of me. I couldn't move around right at all... My body's starting to disappear. I wish I could have...said goodbye to him...at least.
Back outside
Ryekie: Hu...ckle...
Akashi: ...oh my god.
Mokdai: The giant monster...it...
Sui: We have to defeat it to save him...
Crowne Alter: HAHAHAHA! What can maggots like you guys do!? You talked big, but in the end you're all GARBAGE. Now I just gotta swat one last pest and--
Someone is behind Crowne Alter and raises their hand.
Crowne Alter: Wait wha--(SUCKER PUNCHED)

Crowne is standing above Crowne Alter, breathing heavily and bleeding from the hand she punched with.
MC: Crowne!?
Monomasa: Stop, it's too dangerous!
Crowne Alter: BITCH! You think you're hot shit slipping under my radar and--
Crowne: You really can't be me.
Crowne Alter: ...wat
Crowne: If you think I'd turn out to be a twisted piece of trash like you, I'd have killed myself a long time ago!
Crowne Alter: ...YOU SHUT UP! You aren't even a hero or an Observer, cocky ass pansy!
Crowne: Wha--ahh!?
Crowne Alter pushes Crowne back and over, then starts mercilessly beating on her. The robo arms pin Crowne and prevent her from defending herself, so blood starts flying with every hit.

Sui: Stop, she'll die!
Crowne Alter: Die...? Oh wait, right...I can kill her too with no problems. Things can be balanced out in other ways even if she's a parallel life. (tosses Crowne over to Monster Procy)
Crowne: Augh! (cough)
Crowne Alter: You're Monster food next. Don't worry, everyone else will be too, soon.
Crowne: Ugh, ahh...!
MC: Oh no! / That scum!

Ryekie: How dare you look down on life so horribly! I'll stop you in your tracks!
Ryekie: MC, your orders! I'm taking everything I have and throwing it all into beating them!
Phone: bwooong
MC: huh
Phone: high pitch sheening
MC: oh my god it's burning up!
Phone: (starts cracking from the heat)
MC: I HAVE TO CUT THE POWER
Phone: Exceedingly strong path found. Reconnect? For: Zap the Justice
MC: wait what the hell is this new window!?
Ryekie: MC, what's going on!? Tell me what to do!
MC: Is this a new path found from Ryekie and my feelings? ...whatever, let's go for it! (tap)

Akashi: Hey wait what's happening? Why's Ryekie shining!?
Mokdai: MY EYES
Thunder and lightning wrap around Ryekie, flashing pale blue light several times as bright as daylight.
Crowne Alter: WHAT
MC: (feels like they're being pulled into the sky by gravity forces) OW WHAT
Something like a black hole has opened above.
MC: No really, what!? I'm not gonna get sucked in by that!
Ryekie: Raaaah!!! (FLASH)

Sui: Ryekie?
Monomasa: He's gone...
MC: Where did he go?
The black hole and gravity effect is gone too.
MC: what the hell just happened
Crowne Alter: ...wait was that just some bluff? Waste of my goddamn time
Something SLAMS into the ground and the Giant Monster roars.
Crowne Alter: wait wha
MC: The tentacle that got Huckle got cut down!
Monster Procy: (gets blown up)
Crowne: h-huh
Crowne Alter: What's going on now!? Wait...
???: Raaaagghhh!!!
A light zooms back to the ground, then fades to reveal...
EX Ryekie: The lightning of justice that tears the heavens is now here! I am ZAP THE JUSTICE!
MC: R-Ryekie? / Justice? / What!?
(C) Mokdai: J-Justice!? What's that new form...!?

EX Ryekie: I dunno what happened, but I know MC gave me new power at least! There's more power going through my body than I've ever felt, and now I'm here to kick evil's ass!
Yoshiori: What!? Is this a new Observer thing!?
Melide: No, not all Observers can do that. Normally connecting a path to a host universe and writing over a current transformation like that would tear you apart and suck you into that universe. But MC could do that...?
EX Ryekie: ...guys, let me handle all this. (points at Crowne Alter) This is war! All your attacks on Exio! All your insults and assaults on us and your attacks on Crowne! And all you did to my long time partner Huckle! You're gonna pay for EVERYTHING!
Crowne: Ryekie...
Crowne Alter: Eat shit, bastard! You don't get to talk big just 'cuz you learned to control your power a little! And you, MC! Lick my pointy ass shoes, trash! You ain't better than me!

Crowne Alter raises their hand to Monster Procy, fusing them all back together. Dark sparks scatter from it as it stands in front of Ryekie.
Mokdai: Oh no it's powering up!
Monomasa: He wants us to leave it to him. It'd be pointless to get ourselves endangered.
Sui: B-but...
Akashi: ...I get it. Ryekie's putting his pride on the line for this.
EX Ryekie: Yeah, I got this! I'll win for sure! MC, we'll do this together!
MC: Okay!
Crowne Alter: Know your goddamned place!
EX Ryekie: You've destroyed and hurt people while indulging in your own desires! You've trampled on lives and freedom as you selfishly called them in your way! You are evil, and you are going down NOW!
BATTLE START

Christmas Showdown Police Side Episode 1 Part 2 (Abridged)

Wolf: I'll get you for this, bird boy!
Dine and dasher wolf is handed over to the backup Tajikarao calls. Taromaiti, Hermes, and MC talk about the other day in the meantime.
Taromaiti: ...Hermes did you know who that wolf was?
Hermes: Shrug, lmao! But he seemed sus to me. And since he's the one to bump into MC, I guess that's karma. I just set a little trap for him to fall into.
Taromaiti: Oh. It's not the most respectable of methods, but I'll still thank you for saving my friend.
MC: Thanks Hermes / I was sweating bullets / That was funny
(A) Hermes: It's cool. But I won't say no if you wanna pay me back with money~
(B) Hermes: What's a thrill here and there gonna hurt~?
(C) Hermes: Wow you got guts. Let's do that again then!

Taromaiti: >:C
Hermes: It was just a joke, bro.
Tajikarao: I'm back! Thank you you two for helping catch that criminal and cooperating with our investigation! Although this does sound like it's all Hermes's fault.
Hermes: Oh come on dude I am an upstanding citizen now! I just...ran away as a habit when you saw me playing my flute the other day. Look! The proper forms to perform in public!
Tajikarao: Very crumpled forms, but the right forms nonetheless. And you did help arrest a criminal just now...
Taromaiti: Please let him go.
Tajikaro: ...who are you? Do you know Hermes?
Taromaiti: Taromaiti. I work with Hermes at Cafe Asterism. He's our delivery boy.
Tajikarao: He has a job!?
MC: Why is that a big surprise? / Is he that shady? / Is he a bad guy? 

Tajikarao: Well, I already know Hermes is openly rebellious against the police. But if anyone saw how he acted now, they'd be surprised and find it admirable! This one time, Hougen and I were investigating something and--I MEAN I'm sorry I shouldn't be talking about Hermes's personal situation and
Hermes: You can say whatever. You are still so unguarded.
Tajikarao: Mghgh. I can't argue with that right now...but it makes me happy to think that I may have rehabilitated myself a bit.
Hermes: wat

Hermes: Are you getting ideas about a troublemaker like me again? Just catch a dude, punish them, and let them go already.
MC: Arrests aren't all the police do / Tajikarao is a kind guy / (Hermes called himself a troublemaker...)
Tajikarao: Yes, I may have taken the wrong attitude with you before. I had pegged you as a shameful criminal, but I've been learning and thinking about things more since joining police school, seeing how things are in Tokyo, and meeting MC.
MC: Like what? / Yeah lots of stuff happened.
Tajikarao: Well you may have been taught this at school, but laws have been developed since the Gates to other worlds opened up. But more Transients have come faster than the laws can handle their issues, so there are people who haven't been supported by the law whether or not they obeyed them. So as a police officer, I not only need to handle crimes that have happened, it's important to help rehabilitate and reintegrate criminals too. That's why I go talk to Transients who have finished their prison terms under Hougen's directions.
Hermes: ...huh. Big ideals there.
MC: Must be tough for you / Must be tough for Transients / Hermes?

Tajikarao: Hermes, is our work bothering you? I know some of the people I talk to don't like the police...
Tajikarao doesn't notice when Hermes dodges the question.
Hermes: Oh, Hougen came to talk to me too.
Tajikarao: ? He did?
Hermes: Yeah, he asked me to help him with something.
Tajikarao: Oh! The Santa School case?
Hermes: Oh yeah, That Case with the calling card. Totally not playing along with something you blurted out, nosirree.

Tajikarao: Yes, that case indeed. I'm working with Kioh to guard the school and investigate.
Hermes: Wow, blabbermouth. You don't even know if we're all in on that case.
Tajikarao: OH NO
Taromaiti: Don't worry, I'm in. Hougen talked to me about it the other day.
Hermes: If you were worried about Taromaiti, I guess that means you're already in on this?
MC: (shrug)
Tajikarao: I've been informed that we'd be having outside help to cooperate with the case. MC is one of them!
Hermes: hmmmm, I see how it is. Well nice to be working with you, MC.
MC: Yep. (something seems shady...) (smile and handshake)

Later, after MC leaves
Taromaiti: Nice question dodging there. This doesn't feel good.
Hermes: You were talking to an idealistic policeman and a goddamn high school amateur. That should be easy to do. I mean you didn't tell them you were going to be involved as one of the thieves.
Taromaiti: Well what did you expect from me? And there's that bad habit of yours again, tricking people from the word "go." What's your plan anyway? You haven't told Hougen if you'd be in but Tajikarao already thinks you are.
Hermes: Aww sorry, don't be like that! I'll do it, yeah. We're gonna be on opposite sides.
Taromaiti: Right, let's do our best anyways.

Taromaiti: By the way, it's unusual for you to talk about your past. You okay?
Hermes: Well with someone friendly like that, it'd be fine to open up a little. It's way better than them sticking to me trying to become friends.
Taromaiti: ...what's wrong with that?
Hermes: Hey this is work! I don't want to be any closer than that. Plus it's the quickest way for everyone involved. (leaves)
Taromaiti: ...I can't read him, like he's made hiding his thoughts and feelings a core part of himself. Did someone force him to be that way, or...?

Elsewhere
???: Everything is going according to plan. Please leave it to me.
Ose: I'll send the information ahead of time by other means since I don't want to risk it leaking over the phone or computer. The training drill may be a bit big, but I'm still going to stick with it. Plus I might be able to get some info no matter what happens.
Ose: Hmm. Benten's joining in as a participant too? Nice, this should make things more exciting. I guess every one of us Nakano Performing Arts Academy students all want to stand out. Considering the school's Other Side, making her a thief makes sense. Now about the police side... (pulls out notes and a photo of MC and Hermes meeting at Kabukicho)
Ose: So that Transient who helped MC and coincidentally met them again is participating in the drill. He's held off on telling Hougen whether he'd be in this whole time, but then joined in after talking with MC. Coincidence, or "coincidence?" Hmm...I guess I should put in some effort too.
End of Episode

Christmas Showdown Police Side Episode 1 Part 1 (Abridged)

Flashback
Manager: Hey, you can play a lot of instruments right? Join our band! We don't care that you're a Transient!
Later
Bandmate A: Hermes, aren't we friends? What are you hiding?
Bandmate B: Yeah, tell us a bit about yourself.
The native band members were interested in Hermes. What was his home world life like? How was life now? But Hermes never talked about them. Rumors started that Hermes was a famous thief, but Hermes just smiled and made no attempt to deny them.
Later again
Bandmate B or whatever: Hey, the studio inventory has been off lately. You, uh, wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you Hermes? You have a criminal record, and you can't have changed that fast.
Bandmate A: Hermes could you not talk to me outside the studio? I don't want your reputation rubbing off on me. I wouldn't have tried making friends with you if I knew you were like that earlier.
Despite the chilling reception, Hermes still made no effort to change his behavior.
Later
Manager: Hermes? We got a replacement for you. You're fired. We don't want you dragging our rep down for being here.
Hermes still just smiles and doesn't argue about this.
End flashback.

Present
Nomad: Hello everyone, how's your Christmas decorations coming along? Cakes! Lights! Ornaments! We got it all!
Nomad is at a booth hawking things to random people walking by. When the crowd lessens...
Nomad: (sigh) Ugh, no detective jobs and all side jobs this year. I only got better as a salesman and stallkeeper. It's a living, but it's not great getting used to this...
Nomad is looking for leads on the people who turned him into a tiger in Utopia so he can get revenge. It's not going well, so most of his time is spent on other jobs.
Nomad: Huh. Someone texted me. I'll take a look and answer later.

Santa School
MC has come to tell Ded what side they're picking when their phone rings.
MC: It's Nomad. Hello?
Nomad: WELCOME TO BURGER KING MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
Nomad: I mean, MC is that message you sent for real? Did you seriously say you want to hire me for a detective job!?
MC: Yes it's legit!
Nomad:
Nomad: (ugly laugh)
Nomad: MY TIME HAS COME
MC: so stuff happened / job's a job / (how do I explain...?)
Nomad: Oh, tell me later! Don't take this to another investigator besides me! I'll call again after work. (click!)
MC: It's not a real case though. I hope he won't be disappointed. (continues on)

Ded's office
White: Hello MC. Did you decide?
MC: The defense side. Everyone from Santa School is here. I'll protect you!
White: Thank you. Everyone here and from the police school will be happy to have you.
Hougen: I told the police students you're a special investigator, but come to me or Ded if it looks like people might find out this case is fake. Now, how about you go patrol with my subordinates? It'd be good to check how the info sources and students will take to you.
MC: Okay! / I'll do it! / I want to go with you!
---
(C) Hougen: Oooh, thank you! ...I can't though since I'm a superior. My subordinates will have to do it.
---
Hougen: Sorry could you wait a moment? We'll be gathering in the school's front entrance later.

Later, at Shinjuku Station
Tajikarao: What an honor to patrol with you, MC!
Hougen sent you to meet Tajikarao and gave you a badge to stick on yourself.
Tajikarao: This case is such a scandal, even if it's only just a calling card so far. Christmas is the biggest festival of the year meant for children. It's outrageous that anyone would commit crimes on such a day!
Tajikarao seems personally invested in this case too.
Tajikarao: ...we don't know what the thief wants or who they are though. So we need to up our patrols and investigate. On another note it's festive around here this time of year. It's nice how everyone is peacefully--
???: THERE YOU ARE BITCH
Tajikaro: Hmm. We should check that out.

MC and Tajikarao look and find that one wolf and two other Transients.
Wolf: You set me up, bird boy!
Hermes: And why would I need to set you up?
Taromaiti: Hermes, what did you do this time? Could you knock it off a bit?
Hermes: Aww come on, don't you go believing the lies I'm being framed with too.
MC: It's Taromaiti / It's that guy from yesterday / omg it's that wolf!

Tajikarao: Do you know these people? Well, let me handle it!
Hermes: Dude I was just trying to help a pairing happen. It's not my fault after he got together with that chick she took him to a cafe that ripped him off for a ton of money.
Wolf: So you WERE in on it!
Tajikarao: Hello everyone, let's all calm down here. Can you tell me what's going on?
Wolf: Police!? Why are you here?
Tajikarao: I just happen to be patrolling and...hey haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Wolf: (attempts to scoot away)
Tajikarao: I remember now! You're that serial dine and dasher!

Wolf: Goddammit! Gotta go fast!
Tajikarao: Okay wow that IS fast! No wonder he wasn't caught earlier!
Hermes: I'll help catch him. Hey Taromaiti!
Taromaiti: R-right! We'll go on ahead!
MC: We should go too! / Get back here! / I feel like we're missing something
Tajikarao: Hmm...well first things first, we catch the wolf!
BATTLE START

Live A Hero Chapter 4 Episode 12: The S Class Hero's Achilles' Heel (Abridged)

Little Monsters: REEE
Exio: Yoshiori, corner and eliminate them.
Yoshiori: Okay! Your asses are mine, worms! Bang bang!
The smaller monsters get driven into a net placed in a dead end.
Sui: You're trapped now! Go for it guys!
Akashi: Akashi Fire, ignite!
Ryekie: Ryekie Thunder, crash!
Monsters: (ded)
Akashi: Alright!
Huckle: I'm surprised Exio's improv strategy is working so well.
Exio: I'm just using what's already there and telling Yoshiori what to do with it.

Melide: Exio, more are coming from behind.
Exio: Oh. Can you handle the tentacle?
Monomasa. Understood. Melide, your orders.
Melide: Okay. It's moving too fast for me though.
Huckle: Dodge, then counter. Use that wall in the upper right and attack after it swings by.
Monomasa: Understood. Hup!
Melide: Aah! (falls from quaking)
Huckle: (catches her) You okay? That was a big one.
Melide: Y-yes, thank you. And sorry...
Huckle: It's fine. You aren't good at operating in battles are you? Plus you're tired. I can handle this.
Melide: ...okay then.

MC: what reliable adults / wow those two
Yoshiori: HA! Exio's a top class Operator! He can do this stuff in his sleep.
Akashi: so how bad DO you want to get into Exio's pants?
Yoshiori: S-SHUT UP it ain't like that!
Mokdai: yeah sure whatever, we are fighting for our lives and homes here, a little help!?
Sui: More incoming from two different directions!
Exio: I'll take the right side then. MC, you take the left. Hmm...Sui, Yoshiori. You two come with me?
MC: Okay!

Exio: You are improving greatly. Good luck over there.
Exio has turned the battle in your favor. Splitting the party around is cutting down on the number of mobs and makes it possible to handle the tentacle.
Huckle: Exio seems really experienced at this. Who is he really?
Monomasa: I only know that he's a Back Alley Operator who's been through wars. He can get you through hard spots if you rely on him though. He's that smart.
MC: weird. What kind of life did he have?
Monomasa: !
Monomasa: Exio, get away from there!
Exio: Wha--(STABBED)

MC: Oh my god!
There is a spear shoved through Exio's body. He's coughing up blood.
Melide: AAAAHHHH
Yoshiori: W-w-wha
Huckle: There's another one! Ryekie!
Ryekie: On it! (jumps up and behind Exio to knock down another spear shot)
Exio: (coughs up more blood)
Yoshiori: EXIOOOOO (attempts to pull the spear out)
Monomasa: STOP THAT! He'll bleed out if you take the spear out!
Yoshiori: But...!
Sui: I'll handle it! (cuts off the ends of the spear with her threads, then wraps what's left and Exio's body with string)

Sui: Okay, it should be okay to carry him around. It's only going to stay that way while I'm still in hero mode though...
Monomasa: ...sorry. Thank you.
Melide: Ahhh!
Mokdai: Melide, calm down! Exio's still okay! We can get him fixed up, I promise!
Akashi: ! Who's there!?
???: Shut your filthy mouth, bitch.
Crowne: ! That voice!
MC: I knew it!

Crown Alter appears.
Crowne Alter: There you assholes are. Do you know how much time it took to get here? And Exio didn't even die!
Yoshiori: BITCH
Crowne: Oh piss off you big gorilla. The quicker he bites the dust the quicker I can blow this doomed joint.
Mokdai: Doomed? What?
MC: Yeah, what?
Crowne Alter: I'll never tell you third rate Observer~.
Akashi: Does literally every thing you say have to be a cuss or putdown!? I'm not gonna let you kill the old man!
Melide: ...Akashi
Crowne Alter: What, did your balls drop or something? Here. (summons Monster Procy that promptly splits into clones)

Sui: Oh no!
Ryekie: Get ready guys! MC!
MC: Got it!
Huckle: I'll back you all up too! Get Exio and Melide somewhere safe in the meantime.
Yoshiori: I will! EXIOOOOO!
Melide: M-me too? But...
Mokdai: ...you can barely stand now. It's too dangerous for you to stay like that.
Melide: ...okay. I'm sorry.
Yoshiori, Exio, and Melide retreat.
Huckle: That Procy thing is gross.
At least 20 Monster Procys are on the field.
Crowne: Okay, we'll play here. THEN I'll go shove Exio into another dimension. And by another dimension I mean kill.
Akashi: You'll never get your way!
MC: Let's go everyone!
BATTLE START (more happens afterwards)

Five Monster Procys remain.
Ryekie: Okay, the numbers are even now!
Akashi: I burned a lot of energy, but I can keep going!
Mokdai: We can't afford to lose! I gotta keep up here!
Sui: ...if you're going to keep going, then no mercy from me!
Monomasa: Heh. How reliable.
Crowne Alter: How are you punks doing so much better than last time? There's less of you than before! Oh whatever. Smash them! 

MC: Get ready you guys!
Akashi: Right! Mokdai, let's get the one up front!
Mokdai: Okay!
Sui: The tentacle is coming from that building's shadow! Monomasa!
Monomasa: Understood. Hah!
Crowne Alter: Oh, team work. God dammit. That can't be it tho.
Akashi: I missed! Justice!
Ryekie: Right! Huckle, gimme 3000 VP!
Huckle: Okay! Careful with the resources! Fire at that pole in five seconds! You should destroy them all if you do!
Ryekie: Got it! Ryekie Thunderclap, zap! (destroys the two Procys that ran from Akashi)
MC: Alright! You two are awesome!
Ryekie: Yep! Don't underestimate how great Huckle and I are together!
Huckle: Don't stop to brag, there's still three of them!
Ryekie: Let's get the rest of them!

Crowne Alter: hmmmm. Okay then. (disappears)
MC: wait what!?
Huckle: Where'd they...
Crowne: Huckle, behind you!
Huckle: Wha--(kicked down)--aahh!
Mokdai: No!
Crowne Alter: It's YOUR goddamn fault you trash tier heroes are getting better
Ryekie: Huckle, I'm com--
Monster Procys block the way.
Akashi: Ryek--we're surrounded!

MC: Akashi, the tentacle's behind you!
Akashi: What!? Aaah!
Monster Procys and the tentacle all start beating the rest of the party back.
Sui: W-what do we do!? My hands are full keeping myself defended!
Mokdai: They keep cutting us off when we try to get closer!
Huckle: ! Don't come this way! Don't split up now!
Mokdai: But...!
Huckle: ...I'll be okay. I know Observers can't use Parallel Weapons, but I was still a Hero for a long time.
Ryekie: Huckle...
Huckle: All of you focus on the Procys and tentacle first! I'll deal with this somehow!
MC: ...okay! Please hang in there!
Huckle: ...thank you. I'm glad you joined our agency.

Crowne Alter: You done with the lameass goodbyes yet
Huckle: Sorry, I talk more as I got older. I'll keep you entertained. I'd like for you to leave as soon as possible.
Crowne Alter: ...your shitty life ends in five minutes!
Crowne Alter slashes with their robo arms, but Huckle springs back two, three times.
Huckle: I used to be an S Class Hero. Don't think my skills meant nothing!
Crowne Alter: Not bad, dick. But I can move that fast in seconds too!
Akashi: Damn I didn't know Huckle could move like that
Monster Procy: (swings)
Ryekie: (saves Akashi) Focus, Akashi!
Akashi: Sorry! We gotta clear these guys out.
Monomasa: I'm glad you haven't changed Huckle.
Sui: Did you say something?
Monomasa: No.

At least ten minutes later
Huckle: (starting to tire out)
Crowne Alter: Damn your first class reflexes.
Huckle: I've walked more than a thousand miles back as a hero. It's a thing I picked up.
Crowne Alter: Yeah yeah I can see. Ass. I also see you getting weaker.
Huckle: !? (notices that he's bleeding from grazes on his forehead)
Huckle: Well I guess I should be glad you didn't actually split my head open.
Crowne Alter: I see you're strong and confident here too. But how about this?
Huckle: Wha--
Crowne Alter: (zooms in and lifts Huckle by the collar)
Akashi: No!
Ryekie: Huckle!
Monster Procys blocks the way.
Ryekie: Out of the goddamn way!

Huckle: Dammit! (attempts to struggle out)
Crowne Alter: I have goddamn robot arms. Gonna try to hit me next?
Huckle: Ngh...!
Crowne Alter: See? You can't. That means you see me as a pussy ass woman. How about I shove this high heel shoe I'm wearing for some reason up your ass for thinking of me like that? (squeezes harder around Huckle's neck)
Huckle: Gaah!
Crowne Alter: Pretty uppity for an Observer with a power level that ain't worth SHIT. Though I guess you're like that over Here too. (raises one of the other robo arms and makes the end of it glow with power charging)
Huckle: Gh...! W-what...
Crowne Alter: Oh, this? How about I erase your raison d'être? (stabs the arm into Huckle's stomach)

Crowne: Oh my god what!?
MC: Director!
Ryekie: HUCKLLLLEEEE!
The robo arm doesn't actually make Huckle bleed, but it is still causing him pain. He looks like he's choking on himself.
Crowne Alter: Nice. Rip and tear! (slowly pulls a dark shadow out of Huckle, the process of which sounds like skin being peeled off until a shadow clone is separated from him)
Yoshiori: W-what the hell is that!?
Melide: Oh no!
Crowne Alter: Ding ding! Girlie over there is right! I'mma kill Observer Huckle!
MC: WHAT!?
Crowne Alter makes a light blade with the robo arm and swings it.
Melide: STOOOOP!!!
MC: !!!
Huckle: AAAAAHHHHH
Observer Huckle is cut up and dissolves like mist in the wind.
End of Episode

Christmas Showdown Prologue Part 2 (Abridged)

Hermes (narrating): I always hated crowds, and I hate them even more around Christmas. All these jerks expecting some charity from a bearded old man having loud ass parties, all these losers looking for a date that won't last past the holiday, and all these dips thinking only about themselves...they all make my bad habit flare up even more.
Kabukicho in the present
Hermes: Heya, you! You dropped this over there.
Maid: My wallet! Thank you!
Yasha: Omigod you gotta be careful. Most people here would steal it instead of returning it.
Maid: Tee hee, sorry. I just got caught up in listening to your voice.
Hermes: ...good for them.
Guy A: Mweheheh, god all these couples out here are sitting ducks! Look at this...wallet I stole that isn't there anymore! And my own wallet got stolen too! AAAAAA
Hermes (narrating): So whenever I can't stop myself from doing my habit, I go hit up other lowlifes like this. It's a crime yeah, but I did a good thing with it so it all evens out. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm preeeetty sure the laws here wouldn't be okay with it, but whatever. But anyways, there's something I've been thinking about when doing this. Everyone who'd say what I did in these crimes against criminals was good always look really happy, but I guess there are tons of jackasses who'd take advantage of those suckers. When all those naive, innocent, trusting dorks thank me...it hurts like hell.

Present again
MC is walking home.
Solomon: (pops up) OH NO Master you got yourself into something crazy again! Good thing it's not a real incident. So anyways which side are you joining? Being an investigator sounds like you'll be searching for the criminals and flex those brains! But being a thief means playing a real life stealth game! OMG that all sounds sooo cool!
MC: hmmmm / might as well have fun with it / Solomon this isn't a game
(C) Solomon: Well I GUESS...but your life's on the edge all the time! You might as well enjoy the exciting stuff when you know already it's not for real!

Solomon: The Santa teachers will make me work if they catch me again so I won't be able to watch you do your thing, so tell me all about it when it's over!
MC accidentally bumps into someone while thinking about which side to join.
Wolf: goddammit, watch where you're going!
MC: s-sorry / I was, jerk. / (silently stare)
(A) Wolf: you think an apology is good enough!?
(B) Wolf: you think I'm some kind of dumbass, don't you
(C) Wolf: BRING IT BITCH
The wolf is ready to throw hands but hasn't because he's trying to shake MC down.
MC: oh no / laaaame / (stare more)

Suddenly Hermes
Hermes: There you are!
Wolf: I'm busy here, who the hell are you!?
Hermes: Don't be like that brah. I know a better way to have f~u~n~! See that girlie over there? Looks like she fell for you! She wants to ask you out but is too shy to do that, so as someone who knows her I figured I'd do so instead!
Wolf: ...okay.
Hermes: Go on dude, get a drink with her. She's already got a seat at a cafe waiting! I'll be right here.
Wolf: (calculating, calculating)
Wolf: ...you just escaped with your life, asshole.
Wolf: WHOO, MAMA
Hermes: cool he's gone. Let's go.

At Shinjuku Station
Hermes: Okay we should be good here.
MC: thank you / will she be okay? / you made all that up, didn't you?
(B) Hermes: It's all cool!
(C) Hermes: Damn, you figured it out huh? Well I guess it was too convenient there. But yeah I asked her for help. Totally what happened, yep.

Hermes: Anyways, what's your name?
MC: Player / (introduce yourself) / you first
(AB) Hermes: ...I'm Hermes. Nice meeting you.
Hermes frowned for a second at MC not doubting him, but changes the subject to hide this.
(C) Hermes: (almost smiles, looks embarrassed to cover this) Oops, you're right. I'm Hermes. Nice meeting you.
MC: I'm MC.
Hermes: Cool.

Hermes: Hey how about you listen to one of my songs? (pulls out a flute and sound equipment out of his bag, then plays)
A crowd starts forming as Hermes plays his song. Once he finishes, they all clap.
MC: (clap) / (throw a tip into his hat)
(A) Hermes: You like it? I'll play another one!
(B) Hermes: Wow thanks! You're a good guy.

???: Wait, do you have time for some questions?
Suddenly Tajikarao
Tajikarao: You need permission to perform in public here. Have you filled out the proper forms and--oh, who's that next to you?
MC: Oh, Tajikarao / long time no see / beefcake!
(AB) Tajikarao: It IS you, MC! What a surprise! I'd love to talk, but I'm in the middle of work right now.
(C) Tajikarao: Thank you, I must be making sweet gains during my workout! I'm sad I can't take off my clothes to show off my muscles! I wish I could show you them more closely elsewh--I MEAN

Tajikarao: Right I was talking to that man you're talking to, MC.
Hermes is long gone.
MC: wait what? when did he leave? and he took all his stuff with him too!
Tajikarao: How'd he leave so fast!? Oooh, he must have done it to hide he wasn't permitted to perform in public! We have to find him! Bye MC!
MC: hang in there... / good luck! / What is Hermes's deal?
MC's phone has a text from Hermes, who they haven't actually exchanged phone numbers with yet.
Hermes: Tajikarao knows me so I gotta go sorry bye lmao
MC: When did he do this!? Is he bad? But he saved me...

Night, at the dorm
MC: welp
Solomon: Hermes is WEIRD. I mean he saved you and all, but he's also kinda shady. Be careful! I know how you are!
MC: okay / okay mom
(A) Solomon: we might not see him again, but don't get close if you do see him!
(B) Solomon: Noooo, that's how bad people get you!

Solomon: If he comes to you, I'll just use my Self-Defense 3 Karate Chop!
MC: (hits end call button)
Solomon: NOOOOO
MC: bedtime!
Flashback
White: Pick a side! Stick with it until the end.
Hougen: Which one, which one? (NICE ASS)
End flashback
Which one indeed?
End of Episode

Christmas Showdown Prologue Part 1 (Abridged)

One winter at Santa School, some stranger left a card on the headmaster's office door. "The Holy Night is mine."
The next day, Ded gathers his students and brings in the police.
White: Everyone it will be okay the police will take care of it. They're looking into why anyone would do this and who it'd be. I bet they're after my bag. The Kioh police students will be guarding the place, so let's keep on schedule like normal.
Girl A: Phantom thieves? Really?
Guy B: look at all the guards they're totes gonna be caught
Girl C: bitch they're trying to ruin Christmas, I'm gonna kick their ass!
Wolf D: yeah headmaster, let us help!
Tanngrisnir: Stop, please stop everyone!
(Bang)
Black (standing on a desk): That's right maggots, no Black Santa's gonna run from this thief! Santas and Reindeer focus on the sendoff ceremony. Black Santas help the police. But focus on your own safety if it gets nasty! We got police all over the school. Everything runs like normal!
Students: YEEEEAAAH

Later
Tanngrisnir: Ded is it really okay for the Black Santa students to help? I know this isn't a real incident but they could still get hurt.
Black: APP MAGIC. Also this will be good practice. Who knows what naughty kids out there are plotting?
Hougen: I'm still surprised you agreed to our combined school surprise crime prevention drill suggestion.
Black: As Santas, we gotta go everywhere to give the little kiddies happiness, and that might mean going to somewhere dangerous. Doing something safer would be good to prepare them. And once we're done we'll all have a big party.
Hougen: Cool. Our students need a reward for the year too.
Tanngrisnir: Who is the thief in this setup going to be anyway?
Black: Not a normal actor or someone from this school, 'cuz Tomte's artifact would notice. Hougen's gonna get some pros to do it. Oh but don't tell anyone else. We won't tell you anything more than this either so you can act out your own part more easily.
Tanngrisnir: So I'm looking after the students and working on Christmas preparations?
Black: Yep!

Days later, at Shinjuku
Ryouta: (sings about Christmas)
MC: oh look it's that time of the year again
Ryouta: hey MC whatcha gonna do for Christmas this year? Wanna have a party with everyone in the guild?
Kengo: Nice! Make it a big party!
Shirou: Sure, Christmas only comes once a year. You ARE going to help set up, right Kengo?
Kengo: (runs)
Ryouta: Touji, Moritaka! What about you guys?
Moritaka: I'll go! How about you Touji?
Touji:
Ryouta: Touji can you hear me now
Touji: What? Oh, Christmas? I need to check my schedule.
Ryouta: Okay! You can come late if you have things to do.
Touji: ...
MC: ...? 

After class
MC: Touji!
Touji: Sorry I have things to do, tell me tom--
MC: Is something up? Let's talk about it.
Touji: Oh, I worried you. You're observant. It's nothing, don't worry about me.
MC: well okay? / really? / (stare)
Touji: w-what?
Touji thinks to himself, then takes a deep breath.
Touji: I suppose I should tell you. Let's talk elsewhere.

Vending machine corner
Touji checks to make sure no one else is around.
Touji: Okay I'm about to tell you strictly confidential information. Don't tell anyone, not even the others in the guild.
MC: ...okay / yeah sure whatever / (nod)
(B) Touji: I am regretting this decision already. I said don't tell.

Touji: So Hougen has me on this one case. Someone sent a calling card to Santa School the other day and the police are on alert. Kioh police trainees are acting as security over there. Ded says he doesn't want this to blow up on the media, so we're keeping this from the public.
MC: oh my god! / so that's why there isn't any news on that / (shocked)
Touji: That's why I couldn't give Ryouta an answer earlier today. We're going to catch the thief for sure, but I may be out a while until then. I'll be back when it's over, don't worry. I'm going to go now, don't tell any--
MC: lemme come too (grabs Touji's sleeve)
Touji: What? No! I told you what's happening but I wasn't planning to involve you!
MC: but I have to help! (pulls harder on Touji's sleeve)
Touji: MC...you're going to come even if I just left, aren't you? Let me try calling Hougen then.

Later
Hougen: Hi MC, nice ass
White: Hello MC, sorry for the surprise. I tried to cause as little worry for children as I could.
MC: well I'm already involved / please let me help! / (wait and listen)
White: You are such a sweet child. But could you wait a moment?
Hougen: Okay Touji I'll talk to MC about the case. Go patrol or something.
Touji: I'm so sorry to bother you.
Hougen: Eh, MC's involved with a lot of stuff at the station! Fate would drag them in even if we tried to keep them away. Happens all the time. You troublemaker, you.
MC: tee hee whoops / sorry / (play dumb)
(A) Hougen: That wasn't a compliment. Students trying to pull one out from under their teacher can be such a bother.
(B) Hougen: Haha, well that level of shenanigans makes working you over worth it as a teacher

Hougen: Touji you were correct in bringing MC to me so I could also handle how this goes.
Touji: ...thank you. Excuse me.
Hougen: Okay now that Touji is gone...
Hougen: I'M SO SORRY MC
MC: WAIT WHAT
Hougen: actually maybe things working out this way is for the best. Better to have you join in early than stick your nose in later.
White: Let me explain. So what Touji doesn't know is...

One explanation later
MC: what do you mean this is a fake incident!?
Hougen: yep that's what Kioh and Santa School are doing together this year.
White: We're doing this to give the police students practice and make the Santa students more cautious. It may upset some of them for a few days, so the teachers will be paying attention and supporting them. Once it's over we'll reward them and do the sendoff ceremony as usual.
MC: oh okay / sounds rough
Hougen: so MC, can you keep this all a secret for now
MC: (nod)
???: Ooh what a lovely, unusual introduction. Why don't I help out too?
MC: what a cute voice / what an elegant voice

(A) Kid Ose / (B) Adult Ose
???: Not looking bashful at a time like this? Not bad.
Suddenly Ose
Ose: Hi, nice meeting you. Call me Odell. I'm here to help with the drill. I've heard about you from Ded and Hougen, MC. I'm going to put my obligations aside for a moment and make this drill a success. Happy to be here!
MC: oh, well nice to meet you! / haven't we met? / (wait isn't his name something else?)
(B): Ose: Oh, so you think we've met before? I'm honored to have you interested in me so quickly.
(C) Ose: Oh my, such rapt attention you're giving me. I bet you're wondering if we met before. It's a pick-up line I use a lot, like 'hey we've been reborn and meet again,' heh.

Ose: So anyways the police are still looking for people to be the thief in this scenario. You want to join in on the whole thing? It'll make for a new stimulating experience. (smiles at MC before turning to Ded and Hougen) What do you two think? You know what they're like.
White and Hougen: hmmmm
White: Well they can, but that depends if they want to. Is that okay with you, Hougen?
Hougen: Alright! So what do you say MC?
MC: okay! / okay, if I can see the Santa sendoff later / (nod)
(AC) White: Thank you! Talk to me if you have any questions later.
(B) White: Of course! Come see when things are done.

Hougen: time to explain what's going on some more
White: Tanngrisnir, Hougen, and I are the only ones beforehand who know this is all staged. Hougen and I are the only ones to know there will be people from outside working on this incident too.
Hougen: the less people who know, the better it'll make for practice. Anyways, the setup is split between the police guards and the thief sides. All the thieves are participants from outside the school. The police side is a mix of police students and external cooperators.
Ose: Right now the extra cooperators are me and Jiraiya. You know him? He's a classmate of mine actually. You can probably figure out who is going to be on which side.
Hougen: I asked someone else to help, but I haven't heard back yet.
White: We won't be telling who is helping and on what side they're on until the final night. Also, we can add more people to either side if I'm informed before then. If the police side figures out who the thieves are, they can catch them early. And if they're all caught, practice will be over. Understand?
MC: Yep! / One more time please
(B) White: Okay. (back to the top)

White: Okay now MC. You can be on either side, but you can't change it until it's over. Also you don't need to decide now, go think on it a bit.
Hougen: I wonder which side you'll pick?
Ose: I'm going to go now. I'm curious which part of the board we'll be on when we see each other again. Oh, one bit of advice: beware of insincere information sources. They're always looking for opportunities to benefit themselves, like crows. You never know when someone is going to come in and try to steal something from you. Hm? Like me? Okay yes, like me I suppose. Bye.
MC leaves later too.
End of Episode Part