Hermes (narrating): My scams only have one trick, and that's knowing what my targets believe. When people talk about the trickster who could fool even the 12 Olympians, that'd be me. But if you ask me, it's not that hard to fool people if you keep one condition in mind: you make your target trick themselves. If people think I'm gonna trick them, then it's easy to go take the opposite action. Like, if someone thinks I'll do something with my right hand, I'll just do something with my left hand. All believing is is drawing your eyes to something. So I don't trick people! They trick themselves! So I let people talk all they want. In this world, everyone lives and believes in the idea that Everyone Believes Something. In Olympus, Zeus's values won't waver. If someone calls Zeus an asshole, it's because everyone believes it. Otherwise they'd never have said so. If I know what people believe, I can turn it around to trick them...
Hermes (narrating): So Cafe Asterism is my new freeloading hangout. Once this heist is done I'mma gonna bail. It'll be easier if they think I just took advantage of them. They believe me. Or rather, they want to believe in me. The three of them all deny their own roles, and they're idiots for wanting to go against them. They wanna believe I'm not a thief and trickster. Believing is goddamn dumb. I said what I said.
Present
Hermes: ... (apparently watching for MC's response)
MC: Did you trick me? / Are you using everyone? / (quietly watch where he'll go)
(A) Hermes: Ruuude. I didn't trick no one.
(B) Hermes: Ruuude. When did I ever do that?
(C) Hermes: ...you're sharp. It's true, info is something you bring out, not something you give out willy-nilly. But if you ask if I tricked or used you, I'll just laugh.
Hermes: I planned on doing what I was hired to do during the drill, so no one can complain if I take some compensation, right? And nothing says I have to tell you guys what I'm planning. (takes a slow step towards Ded's bag)
MC: So you were after Ded's bag? / (quietly watch where he'll go)
Hermes: ...
MC blocks the way to the bag.
Hermes: You're weird, MC. Anyone looking at me would say it's obvious I'm stealing something super important from the Santa School. So why aren't you mad? You can just ditch me.
MC: Why do you think that? / ...I guess / I AM mad.
(C) Hermes: Ha ha, don't force yourself! You said that just because, right?
Hermes: I can see it in your eyes. You're different from the people who doubted and scorned me. Somewhere inside you, you don't believe a thing I say.
MC: That's not true / ...I guess / eh, maybe
Hermes: ...it feels like you're looking at something beyond me, so anything that happens in front of you is something you can ignore. And you know what? It pisses me off. I'm here needling you, and you won't even play along. But I'll show you that's not all the tricks a thief has in a fight. (gives off genuine murderous intent)
MC: !
Hermes: I've always done whatever it took to fulfill my goals. Stabbing an old friend in the back means nothing, so it'll be easy to screw you over since we've only known each other for days. Noob like you can't hope to stop me. Just sit there like a good kid and I won't actually have to hit you.
MC: Hermes, what are you after?
Hermes: ...well, maybe I can tell...kidding. I barely know you, so I don't have to tell you shit. Maybe everyone around you is open with you, but that's not who I am. Believing in people? Pffft.
Hermes: ...now get out of the way MC. Job's over, so I don't have to play nice anymore either. Don't think I won't beat y--
MC: You won't beat my ass? You won't do it. Come at me bro. (holds sword up at the ready)
Hermes: ...
MC: Hey, can we just not do this? / I won't move until you tell me what you're after. / I'll stop you, no matter what.
(B and C set extra dialogue later)
MC looks like a normal high schooler, but Hermes sees that a superficial threat won't work on them.
Hermes: Huh.
Hermes looks up at the ceiling, then throws a rock up to dislodge a light to drop it on MC.
Elsewhere
Hougen: Thanks for everything Ded! Everyone did well!
White: Yes, I believe everyone learned from this experience.
Hougen: Now we just have to explain everyone what's up. I sure am glad nothing happened!
Hougen and White head for the broadcast room door where all the external collaborators are talking about each others' efforts.
Nomad: Man I'm tired. I haven't used this much energy since Gabriel's concert.
Jiraiya: Dang, everyone did great! I forgot this was just a practice thing partway through and got into things!
Benten: Senpai how are you so ready to go I can't be bothered to move anymore
Taromaiti: Haha, well you'd be tired in particular after all that running.
Ose: ... (looks around for something)
Taromaiti: I just realized Hermes and MC are still in Ded's office.
Benten: Actually yeah. I bet they're tired and and sprawled out on the floor.
Ose: ...oh no! We have to go to where MC is!
A loud noise comes from Ded's office.
Nomad: What's going on!? The drill's over.
Ose: Yes, it's over. This isn't a drill now. We need to go now, we'll be fine with this many people.
Jiraiya: ...
Ded's office
---
(B) Hermes: So much for you not moving.
(C) Hermes: You gonna stop me by running like that?
---
Hermes: I'll say it again MC. Playdate's over. And now that I think about it, since we're in an enclosed space it doesn't matter if I rough you up a bit! Eat my fists!
BATTLE START (more happens later)
Hermes (narrating): I always did my work for Olympus's sake. I lied, I tricked people. I did it to keep its structure up forever, to make the rule of bloodlines stay consistent. If I wasn't there, Zeus's family would have fallen to pieces a long time ago. Do you realize how much incest there could be? I did what I did believing it to be for the world and everyone's sakes, but I ended up not knowing how to associate with anyone without lying. I got a reputation for being a great trickster and liar.
Flashback
Rando Native: You're what's wrong with the world!
Hermes (narrating): People knew who I was even after coming to Tokyo. It was tough, and I kept lying. I didn't think of just shutting up until way later. Still, I struggled through to get familiar with society here. By the time I figured it out though, it was too late. I had already hurt a bunch of people without realizing it, and the people I wanted to be friends with all left me.
Native Police: We know all about your past crimes. Can you just stand in some corner and not bother anybody?
Hermes (narrating): I tried my hardest, and the world spit on me. I crossed the rainbow bridge with a wish, and my past comes to haunt me. It never left me alone, and I hated my role. Maybe if I had a different one...or a different power. Then one winter day I heard about a person who brings miracles on a holy night with a bag that can give people whatever they want. If I had that, I could change myself. I'm gonna steal the thing with this power and role I hate so much. Then I'll be free of my past.
Present
Nomad: I can't get the door to open!
Ose: Hermes must have done it.
Ose thinks about how the noise coming from Ded's office is being distorted in how senses are perceiving them.
Ose: He's reversing our perceptions? It may be faster to find some other way in.
Benten: Like breaking through a window? But it'll take time to get around to one.
Ose: It's clear how we can get through this. We just need someone without an inner and outer side open it. It's the Moebius Ring Theory. If the front and back are the same, then reversing it won't change anything. Don't worry, we can all solve this together.
Jiraiya: Benten you got a sec
Benten: Huh? What's up Senpai?
White: Oh thank goodness you're all okay.
Nomad: Ded, Hougen! We'll explain later, but is there anyone here with magic door opening powers!?
Hougen: Yep. They're on their way now.
Inside Ded's office
Hermes casually evades a sword slash, and not one of MC's attacks have landed. Still, Hermes is clearly looking stressed.
Hermes: Why isn't my magic flute working on them
Hermes tries using it again. It still doesn't do anything.
Hermes: Dammit, stop being so difficult! (jumps back) Noble Phantasm activate!
Wings of light grow from the flute, and Hermes causes a tornado centered on himself when he blows on it. This also messes with MC's body.
MC: Wait what everything is upside down!
MC is having a spatial perception crisis while Hermes calmly plays his flute. MC tries taking a step on the ceiling-floor upon seeing this, but it feels like stepping on water.
MC: What did you reverse? / Creepy! / (tells self this is an illusion)
(AB): I reversed everything in this room. Up is down and hard is soft amongst other things.
Hermes: You think this is an illusion? Okay fair, it's something like that. But the more you think it is, the more you can't escape it. The more you think on something's use and qualities, the more it sticks. (ignores spatial distortion as he walks)
Hermes: I bet you can't keep standing much more, huh? Go ahead and fall on your ass.
MC: Hermes, wait! (struggle to keep standing)
Hermes: Will you just let me go this time? I dunno if Ded's your friend or whatever, but you aren't a Santa student or a Santa. It's not like it'll hurt you if I take the bag, right? Just tell them I got away and it's all my fault. There's like nothing in this for you to stop me! No one's gonna blame you, and I can be made the bad guy.
MC: It doesn't matter what's in it for me / It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks / You stop talking like that
(AB): Hermes: ...where the hell do you get off saying that?
(C) Hermes: ...
MC: I don't want the teachers to be sad / Yule and all the others admire Santa / I won't be happy until I beat your ass
Hermes: ...I'm just gonna borrow it. This is the only way I know how to live my life. It'll be my last crime, promise. I mean, you've done petty crimes too right? You know, when you were young enough to not know any better.
MC: I don't have any memories from then.
Hermes: wait what
MC: YOU'RE OPEN (swings at Hermes' artifact)
Spatial distortion effect dispelled.
MC: Noble Phantasm! / (point sword at Hermes)
Hermes: You stopped my power!? Who the hell are you!?
Hermes: ...! (notices someone outside activating a power to open the door)
Office door slams open thanks to Tajikarao.
Nomad: MC are you okay!?
Taromaiti: Well damn I'm surprised you opened the door so quick. Sure was convenient you were coincidentally around with the right conceptual power!
MC: You guys! / I'm so glad! / ...!
(B) Nomad: Never fear, Watson! Sherlock is here! ...you did good holding out on your own until we got here.
Hermes: Oh, so it's one vs. a whole bunch of you. Nothing new. Bad guys always get surrounded.
Taromaiti: ...Hermes.
Tajikarao: ...
Hermes: ...
Tajikarao: ...Hermes, what is going on?
Hermes: You got eyes, don't you?
Taromaiti: So you ARE trying to steal the bag?
Nomad: ...does that mean you used this whole shebang?
Hermes: Sure, you can think that.
Tajikarao: So you won't tell us yourself?
Hermes: Nope. Since when do you cops listen to me anyway?
Tajikarao: I apologize for my kouhai being insensitive and inexperienced, but I--!
Hermes: You honestly think I'll give excuses at this point? Hello, I am clearly the...villain here. Good enough.
MC: Hermes... (Hey wait where's Benten and Jiraiya)
Some classroom
Ose: ...okay, fingerprint lifted! I can use it to get into the police network now! Time to see what confidential files Chief Shadypants ha--whoa!
Jiraiya: Having fun going through police loot?
Benten: Wait, Not Ose? Why are you here?
Ose: ...how'd you know?
Jiraiya: You overplayed having everyone go together to the office when we heard the noise. Sounds like it'd have been convenient for you to have everyone in one place.
Ose: Hmm, I see. Maybe I pushed too hard to both keep MC safe and do my own job. Still, you were the only one to pick up on what was happening. Good going, you legendary thief you!
Benten: Wait, Not Ose did you really--
Jiraiya: Yeah he used Hermes as a stepping stone.
Benten: !
Jiraiya: Right?
Ose: Eh, I think Hermes knows what I'm up to as well. So we both used each other.
Jiraiya: Whatever. I still owe you payback!
Ded's office
Hermes: So dudes you all gonna jump me, the big dirty traitor? Bring it! I'll break my way past all y'all!
Nomad: You asshole!
Hougen: (frown)
White: Hougen, please let me handle this.
Hougen: Ded?
White: Hermes, you can have the bag.
MC: Wait WHAT
Hermes: ...what's your deal? You don't look like you've given up.
White: It's Santa's job to give happiness to children, so I'll do my best to give you what you want too. Go on, take it.
Hermes: Then you pick it up and give it to me. Anyone else might spring a trap on me.
White: ...okay.
White hands the bag to Hermes as directed. When Hermes touches it, the bag shines. The bag on Ded's back changes, then appears in Hermes' hand.
Hermes: What!?
White: (frown)
End of Episode Part
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