Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Oedo Christmas Episode 2 Part 1 (Abridged)

MC: And that's how we came to Edo.
Ulaanbaatar's a firefighter. Gouryou's an investigator. Horus is an arrester because Edo law was specific like that. Everyone's trying to figure out how this happened, and then Gouryou and Ulaan get into a pissing contest over whose job made them hotter.

MC: Are they still looking into things? Oh well, it's all good fun!
Judge reviews are in! They all suck. Horus being straightlaced got the audience wild, so everyone had to slip out to elsewhere.

Turing: Okay love, time for a meeting to share our findings.
Horus: Turn me back first, Otter!
Otter: It's okay, you're still cute as a chibi or normal size! I'mma cuddle you now!
MC: Me too! I wanna cuddle you! / bby!
(AB) Horus: N-no wait, Uncle, not in front of everyone...!
Horus: (noooo I need to look dignified even if Uncle is headpatting me!)
(C) Horus: WHY MUST YOU CALL ME THAT

Turing: Can we hurry it up? I need to get back to Yoshiwara soon before the lads and lassies noticed I've skivved off.
MC: You're teaching literacy in Yoshiwara? Wow.
Turing's using the name Snow White-dayuu at Yoshiwara. Apparently someone else had that name already and it went to him.

Turing: So anyways, it looks like we've literally time traveled to Edo Japan. And somehow? The world thinks we were here the whole time. Except for MC, I mean.
MC: damn... / maybe I should've been a Yoshiwara denizen too
(C) Turing: Life sucks for a lot of people there though.
Rock bottom slums for the people with nothing else in life!

Turing: I've confirmed one thing: we aren't in an overworld shift.
MC: We aren't? / How can that be? / Figured
Turing: Overworld shifts rewrite an area topography with something similar. Edo however is almost exactly the same as Tokyo.
MC: Does that mean we might change the future?
Turing: Ever heard of the corrective power of history? Means the past is set in stone and can't be changed. Which means the world wrote us in when we turned up. Of course this is all theoretical nonsense since time travel experts have ways of explaining things.
Gouryou: How do you explain all the people we recognize?
Turing: Fate? Mental shortcuts? Don't know yet.
Horus: So how do we get back? Just live it out and take the slow way?
Turing: That would be risky because--
MC: I see you're still a chibi, Horus / Tickle! / (put chibi Horus on head)
(B) Horus: STOP THAT

Turing: I have a better idea! Remember how we fell into the well? Meaning we fell into some dimensional wormhole in Tokyo's underground. Maybe that could work again.
Gouryou: Can't be that easy. Then again, maybe we just can't see any big holes in the sky?
Ulaanbaatar: What if the holes just closed up?
MC: We're stuck here!?
Turing: Now now, calm down love. We just need to figure out how this spacetime hole works and maybe we can get it open again.
Otter: You know how to do that!? Wow!
Turing: Still only in theory, but let me explain. There's a grandfather paradox version where you kill your ancestor and that causes logic problems about your existence. But there are solutions to get around it, like the past doesn't change as a result of the murder as someone else takes that ancestor's place.
MC: oh okay / what
(C) Turing: Hang in there love, this is important for the next part. (wink)

Turing: One other way this paradox resolves is that killing Ancestor A won't stick. Third way? Time Travelor B didn't actually go to the past. They just went to a present that looks like the past.
Gouryou: Huh...so, we're stuck here then?
Turing: Yes. The hole might be sealed to prevent paradoxes.
Otter: OH NO WAIT
otterwithchibixmasparty.jpeg

MC: What?
Turing: Otter, do you still have the camera from before?
Otter: No. I woke up in Gorozaemon's place and the camera was gone.
Ulaanbaatar: So if that camera stays, it won't just go away?
Turing: Correct. I believe if we find it, then we can go back.
MC: Anyone heard about it then?

Nope, no leads.
Gouryou: Shouldn't we hurry and find it?
Turing: Indeed. Or we're stuck here forever!
Otter: I'm sorry you guys!
Horus: It's not your fault the well was where it was. I might need to send Japanese OSHA there when we get back!
Otter: Wait, don't go closing the place down!
Ulaanbaatar: Eh, it might be so bad if we don't get ba--
MC: HELP DAMMIT
Ulaan: Yeah yeah, I am. Edo Japan being filled with wooden buildings means there's always a fire somewhere and I can't catch a break. Buuut, why not sightsee a little you know?
MC: hmmmm / do you not get how serious this is
Turing: You need to focus. Who knows what could change the future?
Ulaan: I know, haha!

Later
The party splits back up to investigate!

Oniwaka: Hello MC! I mean, Yoshitsune!
Goemon: We've got a good shot at being one of Edo's top three with you on our side!
MC: Can I ask something before we go on stage?
MC: Have you ever heard of a camera? / seen any weird machines you never seen before? / seen any boxes with tube attached?
---
(AC) Goemon: What's that?
(B) Goemon: what does that even mean? But no.
---
Oniwaka: You oughta ask someone more cultured.
Goemon: Maybe the dayuus at Yoshiwara? Speaking of, maybe you should party there sometime with all the money you saved up.
MC: maybe / or I could just hang out with you Goemon / I have Oniwaka!
---
(B) Goemon: WHAT. I mean, sure!
(C) Oniwaka: Don't say that in front of the boss, dammit! I have to look cool as your bodyguard!
---
Goemon: Okay, it's almost showtime! Get ready!
Goemon: God I hope our show goes great!

Later
Gorozaemon: What's a camera? Some tsukumogami?
Otter: Sort of? Let me know if you hear about it. (gets ready to leave)
Gorozaemon: Wait, where are you going? Bumming around town?
Otter: That's such an awful way of putting it! Just...looking for something I'm missing.
Gorozaemon: UGH a cliche. Well whatever. Take that fish with you if you're going.
Edo-era fishmonger's pole and buckets!

Gorozaemon: Sandayu's off doing guard work with the money changer. You're part of the group, so could you do that?
Otter: I will if you look into that camera!
Gorozaemon: I'll ask, heh. Don't steal more than one fish.

Night
Gouryou: Welp, no luck. Are we screwed if the camera fell into the river?
Horus: Turing says we don't need it to be working.
Gouryou: Oh, so we just can't have someone else finding it.
Horus: Well if we haven't heard about it yet, no one must have found it. We should keep at it.
Gouryou: Wow you actually get your hands dirty instead of sitting on your ass like a good rich boy?
Horus: Rude. Maybe we should run east to investigate further.
Gouryou: It's a compliment!
An underling approaches!

Purple: Boss! Some weird whore showed up in Yoshiwara Asakusa! She might be some ghost youkai!
Gouryou and Horus: !!

Meanwhile, Ulaanbaatar is jumping around on roofs carrying Turing and brings him back to his room.
Turing: Thanks. Careful on your way back.
Ulaan: It's cool! I do this for you every day!
Yoshiwara is sort of on lockdown so Ulaan just jumps past security.

Turing: Still no progress yet. Shame.
Door opens. An apprentice geisha appears!

Mermaid: Welcome back. Please don't go out too much, I can't cover for everything.
Turing: Sorry about that, Shie. I'll teach you more things later.
Mermaid: Okay. Please don't go with that firefighter too often. I can't BELIEVE you spend time with him... (wanders off)
Ulaan: Oof I don't think she likes me.
Turing: All in a day's work for me! Everyone's been asking me how to make things more exciting. More culture!
Ulaan: Don't get too attached.
Turing: ...I know. You think I don't get that?
No response. Turing takes that to mean yes.

Flashback!
Girl: No Mommy, don't sell me!
Mom: I have to or you'll starve. Take care of my girl...
Not Shino?: I promise to take her to Yoshiwara.
That guy's a red light district worker of some kind.
Later

Guy A: Oh my god that one courtesan got dumped even after getting a pinky promise her contract would get bought off!
Guy B: Amateur. That's why you never get attached to the clients.

Present
Turing: ...I feel bad for the people stuck in here. They get sold off by their families and never manage to leave.
That happened to that mermaid girl Shie.

Ulaanbaatar: Wow, I didn't think you cared.
Turing: I have my British gentlemanly ways, thank you. But we're in a locked land like Tokyo, so why not open up a little? Also you like secrets, whatever yours is.
Ulaan: Oh you. I like that part of you.
Ulaan's about to leave when Shie runs back in!

Mermaid: OH NO IT'S KOUN!
Turing: What!? Lead the way!

Later
Turing: ...wait, what's going on with all the hullabaloo?
Mermaid: Never mind that! Look!
It's a picture.

Ulaanbaatar: Hey Turing isn't that a photogr--
Turing: So you found this drawing that is clearly nothing else just lying in the room?
Mermaid: Yes. Did Koun get sealed inside by youkai sorcery? The picture is looking at me!
Yep, that sure is a camera photo. Koun probably just made a break for it outside Yoshiwara. Do you REALIZE how much money it takes to pay off those courtesan contracts? So sometimes they make escape plans with clients who can't just pay it off.

Ulaanbaatar: Welp, what now? Someone used the camera.
Turing: The Mona Lisa effect gets misunderstood as youkai magic? Interesting how science not being understood enough gets taken as "magic, got it."
Ulaan: Isn't this a big deal tho?
Turing: Pareidolia! Simulacra!
Ulaan: Yeah yeah whatever. Didn't Koun take the camera!?
Turing: Indeed! But we're shorthanded and need to share info with the party.
Mermaid: I'm scared, what are you two whispering about?
Turing: It's okay love, I have friends who can solve it.
End of Episode part

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