Monday, February 5, 2024

Oedo Christmas Episode 1 Part 2 (Abridged)

Otter: Y'all under arrest!
Purple: By you!? Get bent, ya midget! Actually, eat tail knife!
Purple used Tail Slash! It didn't reach...

Purple: WHAT
Otter: Surprise, my power does that! Nobumichi!
Nobumuchi: Gotchu now, punk!
Purple: NOOOOmrglebrgl
And that's how Nobumichi caught the assault criminal.

Horus: Good work you two. The suspect confessed to everything.
Otter: Yeah, we're awesome!
Nobumichi: Haha, don't get too excited! But yeah, good work Otter!
Otter: I stop them, you catch them, and Horus makes them talk. Winning team there! High five, Horus!
Horus grudgingly does so.
Horus: ...anyways, how about I treat you to someplace nice for Christmas, Otter? I'll pay for--
Otter: Oh wait I have something to do, kthnxbye!
Horus: (stares in shock)
Horus: ...how suspicious.
Nobumichi: What? Otter always runs out at quitting time.
Horus: Stop talking like a hick. But never mind that, the always part is what's strange! Nobumichi! Summarize my connection with Otter!
Nobumichi: Yes sir. You're Aaru's World Representative who rules the sky and Otter is your worshipping assistant, right?
Horus: Exactly! Who does he think he is, brushing me off like that!?

Horus actually prefers being treated as an equal rather than a superior and likes that Otter doesn't formalize his speaking patterns towards him and hopes to be friends with him.
Nobumichi: ...huh. Maybe he just hates y--I mean, careful you don't push things into harassment now, y'hear?
Horus: (gasp!) He HATES me!?
Nobumichi: Aww, that's cute of you.
Horus: Impossible! Otter could never hate me and I will go prove it right now! Let me present my super awesome flashback from Valentines, starting with a line I overheard from the break room.
Jackass (flashback): Aww, look at the little rich boy Horus pulling strings again to solve a case. And everyone gives him chocolate for Valentines. What a prick!
Nobumichi (present): You're starting off with someone talking shit about you!?
Horus: It's fine. It just meant I wasn't good enough to make them shut up with how awesome I am.
Nobumichi: Have you ever thought you take things too seriously...?
Horus: Stop interrupting my super awesome presentation!

Flashback!
Horus (narrating): I just ignored it and decided to move on. But then...
Otter: Stop being a jackass and apologize to Horus! He actually works hard!
Jackass: Shut up, pipsqueak.
Otter: Nobody calls ME pipsqueak! Eat knuckle sandwich!
Horus (narrating): Otter actually held his own there. They seemed friendlier when I saw them again later. But anyways...
Later

Horus: Here you go, Otter.
Otter: Chocolate? Hooray!
Horus: Don't hold back on my account, go ahead and eat! It's a thank you for all your work!
Otter: Thanks, Sir! I'll pay you back!
Present
Horus: And he did! That means he doesn't hate me! QED!
Nobumichi: Oh. Sorry I didn't give you any chocolate, boss. I didn't think you cared.
Horus: Not the POINT!
Nobumichi: Haha, kidding. But seriously I'll get you chocolate next year. So, you know Otter doesn't hate you, right?
Horus: Then why won't he be friends with meeee?
Nobumichi: Hmm. How about we do a little police investigation then?

Later
Horus: ...why are we stalking Otter?
Nobumichi: Tee hee I notice you still came along with me on this.
Horus: Do not start with me, I will beat your face in. I was only going to check for a minute, but I can't believe we followed him all the way to Asakusa.
Nobumichi: Well what did you expect with a background investigation on your subordinate?
Horus: You are more concerning, but that can wait...
And so Horus and Nobumichi keep stalking Otter.

Later
Horus: What is this obscene place!?
Nobumichi: Fluffy Yoshiwara? Wow Otter.
Horus: ...let's go home and leave him to his privacy. No good can come from learning what goes on here against my will!
Nobumichi: But we've been following him for like twenty minutes and they're throwing some sorta special Christmas party! For friends, family, and special people of undefined relations. Live a little~!
Horus stares at some flier Nobumichi finds.
Horus: Bye Nobumichi.
Nobumichi: Aww come on. Oh well, I'll snoop on my own a--oshit hide!
Horus and Nobumichi hide around a corner.

Otter: I'mma go all out and decorate before Master get here!
Otter does so. Horus and Nobumichi watch.

Horus: Master? Is he like a historical red light district dayuu from Edo period Japan!?
Nobumichi: Huh. I figured he was a customer and not a service member. He coulda told us he had a side hustle! ...wait can we have side hustles?
Horus: C-calm down, Nobumichi! ...uh, where was that in the manual?
Nobumichi: I don't get how you rich people think!

Later
Nobumichi: And that's when Horus decided to come talk to you!
MC: That didn't explain anything! / why / is this a party invite?
---
(C) Horus: N-no, nothing like that!
---
Horus: I don't know much about these social places, but maybe having you and your memories could help. I-It's not like I want to go to the party there with you!
Nobumichi: C'mon little buddy, help a guy out if you got time. Horus works too much and he said he'd go if you were there, and I think it's more fun if you're there too.
MC: well I was already going anyways so / Anything for you, Nobumichi / I'd love to have Christmas with Horus
---
(B) Nobumichi: Aww, thanks!
Horus: ...and why does Uncle like you so much?
Nobumichi: I-I dunno. Maybe you should try making the first move?
Horus: SILENCE REPROBATE
Nobumichi: Sheesh, you always lose your head around MC.
(C) Horus: O-oh...me too.
---
Nobumichi: Okay, let's go!

Later
MC: Wow! What kinda place is this?
Horus: I looked on the internet and they said they themed this place after furries and Japan™. I think it's like Kabukicho's host clubs and Akihabara's maid cafes?
MC: Yes, touch all the fur! / So more wholesome than old Japan red light district? / Unseemly
---
(A) Horus stares jealously.
(BC) Horus: Depends on the place. Most might be animal or furry cafes.
---
Nobumichi: Oh, the party's later. How about we split up and do our own things? I'mma look around. You, Horus?
Horus: N-no thank you. I'll watch the entrance for Otter.
Nobumichi: Oh okay. I bet someone will ask if you're lost in like five minutes.
Horus: That's what Uncle is for.
MC: WHAT / let's pretend we're a couple and hold hands
(BC) Horus: N-NO! We can just stand there and talk!

???: Oh la la, who left a treat like this outside my door?
Horus: GASP!
Hakumen: Hello, my dear liege~! Did you come running when you heard about me here? Oh, what fate brought us together before I even sent you an invite!?
MC: Ohmygod you're the owner!?
Hakumen: Correct! My casino just didn't seem like enough room for our sweet home, so I had this place built up. Let me show you around! People, we have other guests!
Hakumen grabs MC's arm. Courtesans surround Horus and Nobumichi.

Girl A: This way, milords.
Horus: N-no I'm fine...
Guy B: Let's have tea and snacks together.
Girl A: The best welcoming for the Queen's beloved's friends~
Nobumichi: Come on, Horus, live a little!
Horus: What!? NO WAIT THAT VIXEN IS STEALING AWAY UNCLLLLEEEE!

Inside
Hakumen: Pinch me, I must be dreaming~
MC: Oh no! / Yay, Hakumen!
Hakumen: I figured there'd be too many suitors after you for me to invite you like this, but I'm not above doing a little NTR!  But if you came over first...does that mean what I think it means?
MC: uhhhh / (look away) / (take her hand)
Hakumen: ...actually, could you give me a minute to freshen up? I wasn't expecting this. Be back soon!
Hakumen runs off. Someone knocks on the window.
Ose: Hey Boss, this way.
Hakumen: (runs back in) I'm back~! ...huh?

Later
Ose: Close one! Unless you wanted that?
MC: Nah, thanks. But why are you here? / YES ACTUALLY
---
(AB) Ose: Work. Don't ask, top secret, hush hush.
(C) Ose: Oh, huh. My bad. How about I make it up to you myself?
---
Ose: Call me Crown Dayuu here if you please, Master. How'd that sound?
Suprise kunai throw!
Tadatomo: Back off my Master!
MC: Tadatomo!? / This place is awesome! / So many choices!

Ose: Heeey, Chuuken Dayuu. I'm trying to get my game on with Boss here so could you go away? Thanks.
Tadatomo: Stop calling me that! Master, it's not what it looks like! I had work and...
Ose: When in Rome and all that! Why don't you call them Serrah or something?
MC: wait that sounds good actually
Tadatomo: N-no! ...Serrah. I'm so ashamed!
Ose: But you play Master and Servant with them all the time. Why's this any different?
Tadatomo: Play!? You're dead!
This is drawing attention now.

Mob A: Fight? Hey wait, those are two of the top four dayuus here!
Mob B: Isn't Crown the one who got like everyone under his finger!?
Mob C: And the other one is so rude but is popular for being so reckless!
More commotion!

Hakumen: Oh my liege, I see you~!
Horus: There you are, UNCLLLLEEEE!
Ose: Welp this is going sideways.
Tadatomo: It's okay, Master! I will die for you!
Mob Whoever: Oh my god what kind of person has all these hotties fighting over them!?
MC: nooo~! / HOW DID THIS HAPPEN / welp
MC tries to slip away.

Gouryou: Hey Otter, I'mma make it this time for sure! ...wait why are you here, MC!?
End of Episode part

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