Y'golonac: Ta-dah! Nice, huh? We even gots a water stage in central Chuo where we'll decide who gets to sing the last song to be No. 1!
Sarutahiko: what
Y'golonac: We gonna sing our favorite song at the end of the day! Huge deal, y'all!
Barong: A solo stage? Oh my god I can use Performance there!?
Sarutahiko: Oh god the escalation...uh, not that I'm scared or whatever.
Ophion: How dare you all make me, the owner, wait!
Hmm, big boss bird is with him.
Simurgh: Hey. You the Kabukicho contact rep?
Y'golonac: Das me, Y'golonac! Thanks for all yer help!
Simurgh: Hmm. I thought you were some dumbass, but you got guts. Nice.
Y'golonac: I'mma Outlaw! You and me know how it is.
Bael: (Lawbreakers!)
Simurgh: Anyways, you wanted waiters? You can borrow these guys.
A cat and guard step up.
Y'golonac: Niiiice, mebbe we can put y'all in the host party too.
MC: WHORE / (glare at Y'golonac) / (flirt)
(AB) Y'golonac: Now now, yer the cutest MC even when yer jealous.
(C) Y'golonac: GASP! You have ME, MC! Where'd ya learn to act like that?
Simurgh: Heh, need preopen customers? Got tons of those.
The Wanderers come out.
Q'ursha: Them? Really?
Hei Long Yi Quan: Hey chat we got a special stream today! I'm here for an advance visit at a hot spot in Odaiba!
MC: welp / Q'ursha, pick me! / who's the cute dog?
(B) Q'ursha: Oh? You're approaching me? Bring it.
(C) HLYQ: Oh, me? Wow, when was the last time I introduced myself?
Hei Long Yi Quan: Hi, I'm Hei Long Yi Quan from the Arakawa Wanderers and I'm a corporate streamer!
Gurangatch: Hehe, hi MC we're here too. This is exciting.
Barguest: Why am I here, really? What if something blows up?
Hotei: Hey Tetsugyuu, Sarutahiko! I'mma cheer y'all on!
MC: I'm excited too, Gurangatch / How about I make you happy, Barguest? / I'll make you smile today, Hotei
---
(A) Gurangatch: Yeah. I wanted to see you in a host suit, MC.
(B) Barguest: Bit cringey to hear, but okay.
(C) Hotei: Go easy on me, yeah?
Sarutahiko: Was that a test!? How am I supposed to do this in front of my friends!?
Hotei: Niiice, the snarky follow up. Hey Sarutahiko, if ya ever get nervous just remember me makin' a face!
---
Y'golonac: Wait what? We gotta get ready, we ain't even suited up yet. Okay team, dress up time!
Later
Y'golonac hasn't changed.
Y'golonac: Nice suit ya apparently have on, MC! Careful, I might run off and take ya with me, gweheheh...
MC: Oh you / wait you aren't changing? / GROSS, get away from me!
---
(B) Y'golonac: This baby's got a trick you'll see later, hehe.
---
Y'golonac: Now where the hell is everyone else?
Oh look here comes Tsukuyomi, Shino, and Tetsugyuu.
Tsukuyomi: Hey starlight, I'm over the moon for you.
Shino: H-hello my fated destiny. My fangs will never let you go if they sink into you.
Tetsugyuu: You're a prisoner of my dee sire or something. Hehe, pick me Boss!
MC: You're shining, Night Emperor! / Wow Shino you look great / Whoa, Tetsugyuu you look so good!
(A) Tsukuyomi: Thanks, I need to shine as bright as you are.
(B) Shino: P-please stop! These fancy clothes are wasted on me!
(C) Tetsugyuu: Thanks Boss! Go ahead, fall for me!
Y'golonac: Niiice. Good job on the lines too, even with Shino bein' a little embarrassed.
Shino: How do you expect me to drop a line like that with a straight face!?
Oh look, Barong and Sarutahiko are out now.
Barong: Hey kitty, what show do you want me to do tonight?
Sarutahiko: I gotta bubbly heart present for you, ducky! It's cool, it won't pop just like that.
MC: Nice! / Barong how much??? / Heart please, Sarutahiko!
---
(B) Barong: Aww, thanks. Full service for you!
(C) Sarutahiko: uhhh, y-you can have as many as you want...
---
Y'golonac: Okay ya found some good dudes but we ain't losin'!
Finally, Bael and Perun come out.
Bael: Bon nuit ma cherie, I'll grant you any wish your heart can pay for!
Perun: Kneel before your king, peasant! For I am the emperor of Emperor Hosts, Perun!
MC: sign me up, Bael / I want to make you smile more, Perun!
(A) Bael: Heh. Promise to make me your number one and I can play along with this revelry.
(B) Perun: Hah, impressive attitude, clown! Keep up those naive words!
Y'golonac: Oh good, that suit fits ya Perun. Cool that's everyone!
MC: Everyone looks awesome! / somehow it feels like Team Good Hosts vs Team Evil Hosts now
---
(BC) Y'golonac: Yep, it's Team Service vs Team Boss now!
---
Sarutahiko: ...hey, didn't someone say we'd be doing customer service in swimsuits earlier?
Y'golonac: Yep, that's a thing. Now look at this li'l trick we pulled from Ar Tonelico! Purge!
Y'golonac pushes a button and everyone's suits blow off into swimsuits!
MC: OH MY GOOOOD
Y'golonac: Yeeee, it's perfect!
Bael and Sarutahiko: IS NOT
MC: Yeah! / At least give us a heads up! / THIS is what you meant by swimsuits!?
Y'golonac: *(bonked)* OOF! but why tho...
Sarutahiko: This is more embarassing than a regular swimsuit! But I guess it does help the party mood...
Bael: How did you make it so that only the shirt and not the jacket blew up? Also fix it back right now.
Y'golonac: Sorry, it's one-way. Gotta put it back on the hard way.
Bael: How DARE you not use strange tech magic to make it go both ways!
Perun and Barong meanwhile like the swim-suits and are posing.
Shino: I-I did not see anything. I will pick up our clothes.
Shino seems really embarrassed as he hands back MC's clothes.
MC: You saw too much, Shino / (stare) / Thanks
---
(A) Shino: I-I cannot help it!
(B) Shino: I-I cannot believe this happened when I came to be a guard!
---
Tetsugyuu: Shino, chill! How ya gonna service customers like that?
Tsukuyomi: I think that's good though, haha. Plenty of people will like you as you are.
MC: Huh, you two aren't bothered? / (stare at Tetsugyuu) / (stare at Tsukuyomi)
(A) Tetsugyuu: We fought together as bros, nothing to be ashamed of.
Tsukuyomi: Being a host means being looked at. Though you make me feel a little hotter under the collar when you do it.
(B) Tetsugyuu: It's okay Boss, you can touch me hehe.
(C) Tsukuyomi: Oh? Go ahead, come and get a closer look.
Perun: MC, come over here and decide whether Barong or I am shining brighter!
Barong: It's me and my dancer body!
Perun: Hmph! Then see my winter forged body!
MC: You're both good / Ooh, Barong! / Ooh, Perun!
(A) Perun: Okay true, you are impressive. Very well, the winner is whoever becomes number one then.
Barong: Bring it!
(B) Barong: Thanks babe! Watch me dance even better, okay?
(C) Perun: But of course! Behold as I conquer the number one spot!
Tsukuyomi: I look forward to seeing you try, heh.
Bael and Sarutahiko go up to Y'golonac. Y'golonac is picking his nose.
Y'golonac: Y'all gonna do good out there, have some confidence!
Sarutahiko: I...guess?
Bael: Don't just let him talk you out of it like that!
MC: You two look great in host suits / You so look like a number one as a host, Bael / Serve me as a host, Sarutahiko
---
(A) Bael and Sarutahiko blush and look at each other.
Y'golonac: Hey, why y'all gotta be up in my grill when I compliment ya, but not when MC does it?
(B) Bael: Yyyyou thought you could get me to work if you said that, didn't you? Scheming snake! ...well I can help for a little bit, but I'm leaving the moment I get tired of this!
(C) Sarutahiko: Aww man, how am I supposed to say no to that? Okay fiiine, I can do this shit. I was number one in customer service back home!
---
Ophion: Stop whining when you haven't done anything yet! (takes another look at everyone) Well okay, the waiting was worth it then.
Y'golonac: Hell yeah we gon do this shit! Step it up, y'all! Kick off the pre-openin' with a bang!
Later
Time for Team Y'golonac and the Wanderers drinking date thing!
Simurgh: Ohh, so that's how you wanna play the summer host thing. MC, come with me. You know how not to ruin a mafia don's mood, right?
MC: Thank you don. / (pull out a brush) / (step boldly)
---
(B) Simurgh: Is brushing your thing? I'll pass, keep my O-face private. But you can do that if you come to my room, hehe.
Y'golonac: NOOOO MY BABY
Simurgh: Parents are supposed to watch the babies fly from the nest. How about you let go?
---
Simurgh lets MC pick their own drink and gets some mint and lime juice cocktail with a topping of sherbet and cherry. It's pretty cute.
Simurgh: You can have the cherry, MC. (picks it up and hands it over)
MC: You do this a lot? / (just take it) / (push his beak back and take it)
(A) Simurgh: Just a cheap life hack. I can show you how to do it with your feet if you want.
(B) Simurgh: Heh, you evil stoic host you. How many guys are you looking to play with this summer?
(C) Simurgh: Ooh, brave. You gonna make all the boys go crazy this summer, huh?
Y'golonac is dramatically watching MC and Simurgh from across the room.
Y'golonac: Oh god oh sheez oh hell mebbe I shouldn'ta made MC a host!
Everyone else seems to be having a good time.
Perun: Hahaha, keep that camera running! Purge time! (pops off suit)
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whooooa!
Perun: Heh, I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of!
HLYQ: So you guys use a chip system and we can ask the host for things here? Like when chat tips me sometimes. Maybe I should ask for something?
Perun: You offer tribute? Heh, lay your wishes on me!
The tips are just coming in for people's favorites
Hei Long Yi Quan: Hey chat, should I give a tip too?
Perun: Go on! Y'golonac made a good system here!
Y'golonac: Thanks! Gettin' lotsa tips fires ya up, huh?
HLYQ: Hey Perun, how about we sing together! Oh wait, can I stream this? Maybe we can even do my ending theme song together and sell it!
Perun: Oooh. Pass me the mic and get that music started!
Perun starts hijacking the song into a brag track! HLYQ rolls with it without missing a beat! Bael is talking with Gurangatch who seems nervous.
Bael: Heh. So, don't go to these types of establishments much?
Gurangatch: N-no! I-I... I can't speak well in front of people...
Bael: Well this is my first time too, so we can both relax. It's hard though, not used to not having anything in my hands. Maybe you should ask for something. Or maybe you want to do something more demonic? (smiles and fluffs his tail at Gurangatch)
Gurangatch: UHHHH, this one please!
Gurangatch orders a giant ass soda with a giant ass price tag and starts spilling/gulping it down.
Bael: Whoa, you should slow down Gurangatch. I'll get a towel.
Y'golonac: Well damn I ain't ever seen that happen before.
Bael: It's fine, Simurgh is handling everyone's finances. Also, maybe I'm better at hosting than I thought. And the active flexing of who is number one, hehehe...
Y'golonac: Eesh, ya really are a devil, huh? Helpful tho.
Y'golonac glances at Shino's table.
Shino: It's impressive how you deny your own wishes and choose to be alone.
Barguest: Nah, I'm just afraid of being hated.
Shino: You are better than self-centered cowards. I once let someone important to me die for my own desires...
Barguest: Stop that, everyone has the right to be happy. I was saved by someone who believed in that.
Barguest smiles and clinks glasses with Shino.
Y'golonac: Wait what, when did we turn into therapy hour!? And it's supposed to be the host being nice and comfortin'!
Shino: But Lord Tsukuyomi once said counseling is a host's weapon.
Y'golonac: Dammit. Shino, you stay after so we do Hosting 101!
Right, how's Team Tsukuyomi doing on the other side of the club?
Barong: Wow, you're a player huh? Not fun enough?
Q'ursha: You especially don't get to call me that. You'll flirt with anyone anywhere and wag your pretty little tail for whoever, don't you?
Barong: Aww, you think my tail's pretty?
Q'ursha: Uggggh, I hate flatterers. Especially rookie dopes crooning about love and romance.
Q'ursha looks hurt. Barong smiles and hands him a glass while very close.
Barong: It's cool, I'm a pro! I can make things exciting and all you gotta do is watch. Want any dance music?
Q'ursha: ...put on a war or hunting ballad then.
Barong: Okay, I'll try to make you feel better!
Barong puts on music with his phone and starts dancing! Meanwhile...
Hotei: Okay Tetsugyuu, I'mma tip ya if you make me laugh. But if I make YOU laugh...
Tetsugyuu: W-what? I can handle being on a comedy act.
Hotei: Ooh, sounds good! But anyways, if you laugh I'm not tippin' ya. We're doin' a joke contest!
Tetsugyuu: Bring it! I've been practicing to make the Boss laugh!
Hotei: Get ready to piss your pants then!
And finally, Sarutahiko is with a displeased Ophion.
Sarutahiko: Uh, you're the boss of this place. You could just go to MC if you want them so much.
Ophion: I would if it wasn't Simurgh over there.
Simurgh can live as long as dragons and Ophion sees him as having lived longer than him. Also as an equal in authority and his working partner.
Sarutahiko: Huh. Figured you'd be the "I'm king of the world" typa guy.
Ophion: Maybe my older self would have flexed on everyone...
Sarutahiko is having thoughts while looking at Ophion.
Sarutahiko: I think when you get older, you also get more of something nice which is more important. Reminds me of all the nice old folks who come to my bathhouse. Wish I'll be like that someday...
Some mental voice asks Sarutahiko "are you saying I've been wasting my life?" and Sarutahiko mentally apologizes.
Ophion: You DARE indirectly lecture me?
Ophion charges his claws and laser breath!
Sarutahiko: N-no??? I didn't say that! ...oops.
Ophion: So you were THINKING it.
Sarutahiko: HELP
Ophion swings! And stops right before hitting Sarutahiko in the eyes!
Ophion: Hah! Kidding. I'm impressed you actually tried giving me your opinion. Perhaps I should take your advice and forgive you.
Sarutahiko: I thought I was gonna die!
Ophion: Waiter! Bring us a bottle!
Ophion takes a glass and holds it to Sarutahiko.
Ophion: So, what do I need to make MC fall harder for me when I get older?
Sarutahiko: How did we get to this point!? J-just ask them!
Tsukuyomi smiles as he watches everyone.
Tsukuyomi: Not quite the usual host style, but ehh, we're at the beach. What should I do to show off everyone's individual qualities better?
Y'golonac: Yo, Tsukuyomi! How's y'all doin'? We're doin' pretty good I think!
Tsukuyomi: Same here. I was thinking about how to make them do even better.
Tsukuyomi is also thinking about making Y'golonac better too.
Y'golonac: Huh. Well it ain't gonna be fun with no challenge!
Tsukuyomi: We aren't going to lose either. I'm going to try staying number one.
Y'golonac: Ya better learn to enjoy the taste of dirt when I knock ya off yer perch!
And so both go back to their teams.
End of Episode
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