Sunday, October 6, 2024

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 1 Part 1 (Abridged)

Y'golonac and Tsukuyomi are putting together their host teams!
Tetsugyuu: Night King, do you even know who to get for this?
Tsukuyomi: Heh, you wanna know? It's a team of four and there's two of us already. I'm a night person though, so I don't really know any daytime people. You? Maybe a people pleaser service worker?
Tetsugyuu: You're dumping it on me!? I don't--actually maybe I do. From school!
Bathhouse

Sarutahiko: Hey you, long time no see!
Saru no Yu bathhouse, Asakusa. Sarutahiko is here. And a stalker~.

Tsukuyomi: Hmm. He knows MC, he comes to hang out sometimes. He's the guard of Ama no Yachimata the Crossroad of Heaven so he's got good Insight. Guess I'll see how good he'll be as a host!
Sarutahiko is working hard.

Sarutahiko: Aww, your back hurts? Check out this hot bath! I look sick? Nah, I'm good!
He seems concerned inside.

Sarutahiko: (Why's Tsukuyomi staring at me!?)
Hey, Tsukuyomi was one of the Top 3 important people in Takamagahara.

Sarutahiko: (Did I piss him off last time I went over?)
Tsukuyomi continues watching.

Tsukuyomi: Hmm, good customer service. People like him, he's got good Negotiation skills. Nice.
Tsukuyomi goes up to talk to Sarutahiko.
Sarutahiko: U-um. Do you need help with anything, Tsukuyomi-sama?
Tsukuyomi: Oh you noticed me! Nice Observation skills too.
Sarutahiko: (He's wearing a goddamn suit in here! Gramma in the back noticed him!)
Tsukuyomi: Now now, relax. I wanted to talk to you. (casually lifts up Sarutahiko's chin)
Sarutahiko: WHAT
Tsukuyomi leans in close! Sarutahiko closes his eyes! Gulping sound!

Tsukuyomi: Cool, you pass.
Sarutahiko: wait what
Tsukuyomi: You got that babby's first host gig vibe, but that could be relaxing for people.
Sarutahiko: WHAT, RUDE
Tsukuyomi: Oh right, getting ahead of myself. Wanna be a host this summer?
Sarutahiko: Wait am I being headhunted away?
Tsukuyomi explains it's a seasonal short term gig in Odaiba.

Sarutahiko: Oh, MC's there too? That makes me feel a little better...
Tsukuyomi: You got the potential. Wanna try something new? Now imagine some customers yelling and screaming about how good a host you are. What kind of host do you want to be?

Sarutahiko Fantasy Vision go!
Random Mobs: OMG SARUTAHIKO!
Sarutahiko: Hey babes! Bubble Heart, go!
Sarutahiko throws heart-shaped bubbles at people!

Random Mobs: Shot through the heart, and you're to blaaame~!
Sarutahiko: Now now, go any crazier and you'll give love a bad name!
Random Mobs: (more screaming and crying)
MC: Wow, you're number one Sarutahiko! Shoot me too!
Sarutahiko: Aww thanks, I wanna be your No. 1, MC! How about we have a little bubbly together later...?
Present

Sarutahiko: Ehehehe...
Tsukuyomi: Thank you for sharing out loud with the class, I see you're motivated at least.
Sarutahiko: WAIT I didn't say yes yet! I still gotta talk to the boss first...

Later
Sarutahiko: how did I get into this... I mean I can't say no to Tsukuyomi. And then the crying and screaming over me, hehe... but the bathhouse... The boss said 'help your friends' but STILL...
Tsukuyomi: Haha, I appreciate it, but you really could have said no.
Sarutahiko: N-no, I'm in. Actually, you sure you want a newbie like me?
Tsukuyomi: I think you got a real knack for it.
Tsukuyomi and Sarutahiko are at some resort looking for someone.

Sarutahiko: Are we getting another Umamichi guy?
Tsukuyomi: Nah, Gyoubu and Tetsuya hooked me up with another Suidocho student they know. Some hotelier in training.
Sarutahiko: Oh, sounds like a high level customer service dude.
Tsukuyomi: Yes, but there's more to it than that. Sarutahiko, you deal with customer complaints, right?

Sarutahiko: (nods confusedly) Yeah, though most go away quick enough.
Tsukuyomi: Well we're going to see Barong, and I hear he never makes a negative face. Think you could do the same with the Karens who come in?
Sarutahiko: Uh, it probably depends on the customers I talk to.
Tsukuyomi: Haha, fair. Doesn't Barong sound good at hosting though?
Tsukuyomi and Sarutahiko look over. Barong is there.

Barong: Welcome! Do you have a reservation?
Tsukuyomi: Actually we came to see you, sorry.
Barong: Me...? Oh, you one of my fans? Nice. But my shows are at night, sorry!
Tsukuyomi: I sorta am.
Tsukuyomi invites Barong into his host party!

Tsukuyomi: By the way, Y'golonac's in a different party. Heard you've been asking him to partner up with you, and that sounds cool. What if you guys made it happen this event? Maybe.
Barong: I'm in! Gonna party it up with everybody everywhere! ...if you think I can do the host thing after watching me at work, I mean.
Tsukuyomi: Okay? Tetsuya said you'd be great.
Barong looks confident.

Barong: You're doing a whole new summer beach host thing, right? Which means Performance work up my street! You don't mind me doing my own host style, do you?
Tsukuyomi: It's cool! Shall we get this show on the road now?
Barong: Okay! Uhh... Sarutahiko or whatever? Can you pretend to be the customer?
Sarutahiko: UHHHH
Barong: It'll be cool, just sit there and watch me.
Barong looks Sarutahiko right in the face, puts his hand on his knee, then climbs into his lap.

Barong: No looking away~! Okay, hit the music!
Sarutahiko: WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING

Meanwhile
MC and Y'golonac go to Chuo to recruit a host party member!

Bael: NO
Y'golonac: But why tho? Ya already do consultant work, you can do it.
Bael: But I don't want to. Why should No. 1 have to do customer servicing?
Y'golonac: Puhleeez??? I'm already runnin' out of ideas on who to ask!
Bael tries to shut the door, but Y'golonac shoves his foot in!

Bael: Go away! I'll sue you if I have to!
MC: Bael pls? You'd be sooo cool and awesome~!
Bael: Y-you can't butter...me...up like...
Hmmmm.

Y'golonac: HMMMM methinks the twink doth protest too much-ah. Come onnn, ya wanna be No. 1 don'tcha? Thinka all the people bowin' to ya!
Bael: (blushes)

Bael Fantasy Vision, go!
Bael: Mwahahaha! Who's No. 1!?
Mobs: Bael!
Bael Yes, you are all correct! Look, a present!
Bael pulls out an all day date ticket and flaps it around.

Bael: Whoever has this gets to be my special someone for a day and--oops~! I dropped it!
The mobs lunge for the ticket!

Bael: Yes! Fight for it like the lowly pigs you are! Worship me, peons! Mwahahaha!
Present

Y'golonac: Earth to Bael, come in Bael.
Bael: Ah! What were we talking about?
Y'golonac: The hell were you thinkin' about!? Ugh, you gonna be a host or not?
Bael: M-my answer hasn't changed.
Y'golonac: (Oooh, just a little push to get him over the edge to the dark side, eh?) Let's get 'im, MC!
MC: Okay! / Come on, you know you want to~ / wait what
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)

Bael: GO AWAY
Y'golonac: Aww, Bae-by such a hard worker~! MC, let's give him something nice!
MC and Y'golonac shove Bael into a chair and loom in close!

MC: (pet him) / (brush him) / (sit on him)
Bael: WHAT
Y'golonac: Come on, we really need your help to win. Pretty pleeease? You were my number one pick to ask help from.
Bael: D-did he really, MC? But...
Y'golonac thinks he's totally got Bael corrupted! Bael's thinking of other things.

Bael: (If I join, it might be easier to nab Y'golonac, but...)
Y'golonac: Pretty please with a cherry on top??? Be our number one star???
Bael: ...okay fine.
Y'golonac: Gwehehe, oh ya little tease, hidin' how you really feel~
Bael: AM NOT
And that's how Y'golonac and Tsukuyomi expanded their parties.

Later, Odaiba
Y'golonac: Barong, why are ya here!?
Barong: Tsukuyomi picked me up!
MC: Sarutahiko too? Oh right same school. / (smirk at Sarutahiko)
---
(AB) Sarutahiko: Hehe, Tsukuyomi picked me up too! I have no idea what's going on!
(C) Sarutahiko: Y-you think my being here's a joke, huh!? I'll show you!
---
Tsukuyomi: Wow you picked up Bael? It came to mind, but I figured you'd say no.
Y'golanac: It must be mah natural virtue and karma workin' out for me!
Bael: My presence is partially against my will!
Y'golonac: Tee hee. Anyhoo that's everyone right? Let's get to war already!
Y'golonac points at the really fancy beach hut built over the water.

???: HALT
Perun drops down from somewhere!

Perun: I heard war and I want in!

Flashback!
Perun: Damn, Kitezh blizzards are strong. I must keep up with all the pillaging and conquering everyone is doing!
So snowy. Perun is the emperor of Kitezh who stalls the fated destruction of his world with the faith of diffusion. If the world is harsh, they should adapt and assimilate. Enemies? Absorb them. Families? Absorb them. Perun absorbed the blizzard to spread his existential range. His mortar artifact? A Pillar. It crushes him along with his enemies. It's the power to grind his own memories and insert them into others like it's Bleach's Book of the End. The price? Assimilation goes both ways, baby. He influences them, they influence him. He's Theseus's Ship'd himself to the point he doesn't have much of his old self left, not even the rage and excitement he felt talking to Someone. But that Someone still sticks in his memories, the poet who gave them(/themselves?) affection.
Perun: Where are you going, servant!?
The poet seems to speak.

Perun: What? I can't hear you!
The poet comes closer. He seems to whisper something...

Later
Setagaya Director's Office

Perun: ...! Oh, was I dreaming again? I couldn't hear that damned fool. How DARE I be teased like this without seeing the end!?
Volkh hears yelling and walks in.

Volkh: Did you awaken my lord? You sound hoarse...
Perun: Oh, Volkh. It's nothing. Bad dreams.
Volkh: You have bad dreams?? I shall prepare herbal tea!
Perun nods and thinks on the deja vu dream. Using his artifact probably cuts out the memories his Pillar thinks is irrelevant. So why does this apparently unimportant memory dream keep coming to him?
Perun: Hmm...perhaps it's just a nightmare. Never mind, what's today's itinerary?
Volkh: Sir, today there is environmental maintenance and inspection at Odaiba.
Perun: Okay, good luck with that Volkh.
Volkh: But Sir, please come! The Tycoons will be there too so...
Perun: Pffft, why should I care? I have personal issues to dwell on! Go ahead, kick the hornet's nest!
Volkh: (sighs) Well I didn't want to say this, but Odaiba's summer event has...
Perun: MC is there!? Why didn't you say so sooner!?
Volkh: Because you'll ditch work to see them!
Perun: Sounds like a plan to me! Odaiba, ho!
Volkh: But Sir! Work!

Present
Elsewhere in Odaiba

Hippolytus: Volkh? I thought Perun was with you.
Volkh: ...he left me as soon as we came here.
Hippolytus: Oh well then! Should we call and say he'll be late?
Volkh: No, based on experience...he won't be coming back for three weeks.
Hippolytus: !?
Where the parties are in Odaiba

Perun: I heard war and I want in!
Y'golonac: WHOMST? And ya wanna be a host???
Bael: Oh. Perun.
Perun: Yes, it is I! As getting financed goes, how could I not be first place?
Y'golonac: Uh that ain't really the goal here. Are ya doin' this because you thought you could run a bar?
Perun: Pffft. I'm here for MC. OBVIOUSLY. Rejoice, I shall be with you!
MC: Ummm / tee hee yaaaay / You, a host? Really?

Perun glances at MC and projects the dream poet onto them. He left him for places beyond his reach, and only here at the beach can he easily see them again.
Perun: Well, I can invade Kabukicho's agronomics if you refuse me.
Setagaya is the best at food production here in Tokyo. Shino and Tetsugyuu move for their weapons, and Perun doesn't react.
Tsukuyomi: Okay, you can join. But host work isn't as easy as you think it is, you know.
Perun: Pffft, as if I fail at anything.
Tsukuyomi just smiles.

Y'golonac: Really? We were perfectly 4v4 until now.
Tsukuyomi: It's cool, I'll just work as hard as two people. Nice handicap for having a newbie here.
Y'golonac: Mkay then, no whinin' if ya lose.
Right, full event cast is here!

Y'golonac: Anyways, the Host House is open for business y'all!
End of Episode part

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