Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Fortune Superstitions with Oni and Dragons Episode 3 (Abridged)

Flashback!
Merely Okay Farmland

Amanojaku: They kicked me out again. I really really tried to be a good oni! Hungry now...
Girl A: There you are! Amanojaku? Have some extra mochi we made.
Amanojaku: ...you sure? I'll pay you back with whatever veggies I find up in the moun--
Sudden warp!

Reverse Amanojaku: (UNSPEAKABLY FILTHY CURSING)
Later, some ruined temple

Amanojaku: ...it happened again...
Amanojaku looks towards the village. He remembers everything that happens as Reverse Amanojaku and only returns to normal after he notices he's flipped over.

Amanojaku: I probably shouldn't go back. Still hungry. Sleep for dinner.
Amanojaku tried so hard to live like normal people, but it keeps blowing up on him. So stays away for everyone's sakes and his own. But that decision will also reverse itself eventually.

Present
It's Setsubun! Time to get ready at Motosumi's temple because it's already drawing people in for things.

Echo: Umm...how many more cucumbers should I cut?
Amanojaku: And how much more of the other things I'm making? I'll help cut after that!
Kagutsuchi: Rice, up! ...two more pots? O-okay!
Takemaru: Thanks for comin' to help y'all.
Red Oni: Yeah. What are we helping with?
Takemaru: Mochi prep first!
Oniwaka: All these exorcism traditions always happening bug the crap outta me.
Motosumi: But you still dressed in festival gear. Why are you bitching about it NOW?
Oniwaka: Yeah yeah, I'll do my job. And give MC some good mochi!
Motosumi: Same for my babies! Now bring it!
Oniwaka and Motosumi start making mochi.

MC: Wow, vibing! / so pro / (run fast with the rice)

Girl A: Wow, he's pounding the rice so hard!
Boy B: They're giving out ehoumaki! Let's help later!
Guy C: Boss, the last of the rice? What do I do after?
Takemaru: Oh. Uh, mochi making demo after! Call dem kids over for it!
Guy C: Okay!
Qinglong: How appropriately lively for spring starting.
Fuxi: Indeed. And SIIIISTER is shining brightest.
Qinglong: I should go help now before Amanojaku complains.
Fuxi: Yes, you should. My fortune telling says you're too late though.
Qinglong: Oh. Couldn't you have said so earlier...?
Fuxi: I need to get ready! Setsubun is New Year's Eve on Old Japan calendar, so we need noodles! Which I shall make! FROM SCRATCH! FOR YOU, SIIIISTER!
Qinglong: O-okay, good(?) luck with that???

Later
All those cardboard boxes from the other day

Motosumi: Okay I gotta explain this shit. We're gonna throw peanuts instead of beans at each other!
MC: huh? / yay! / what
Motosumi: I said what I said. Instead of Setsubun exorcism tradition using beans, we use peanuts that DON'T have magic cultural faith to do what's now problematic fantasy racism stuff. Also cleaning will be easy if they're still unshelled peanuts. Then we eat!
MC: oh okay / wow you actually thought this through / nice, Qinglong
(C) Qinglong: Yes, wonderful plan Motosumi.
Motosumi: I-it's cool, Sensei... stop looking at me like that, MC

Amanojaku: Is this really okay?
Kagutsuchi: Maybe we should try it ourselves before opening it to everyone.
Motosumi: Okay. MC, throw these suckers at Takemaru.
MC: Yeet! / (toss) / (YEET THEM SO HARD)
---
(AB) No reaction.
(C) Takemaru blushes.
---
Echo: O-oh, this seems fine... why does he look happy about this?
Oniwaka: Loophole, huh? Nice.
Amanojaku: Wow...
Motosumi: How about throwing them at Qinglong too?
Amanojaku: !?
Amanojaku: !!
MC; Wow, he's getting into this

Qinglong: N-now now, I've started picking up after myself and washing utensils, haven't I?
Amanojaku: Haven't you also been secretly ordering Tokyo DoorDash at night?
Qinglong: O-of course not, not while you're slee--
Amanojaku: So why is there suddenly unexplained trash lying around in the morning?
Qinglong: okay I did it...
Echo: whoa...
Fuxi: SIIIISTER! I'll be very soft when I throw peanuts at you.
MC: I'mma bean you SO HARD / (grab peanuts) / (catch the peanuts)
(AB) Fuxi: That's so cold! ...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Oniwaka: what is this guy's deal
(C) Fuxi: Good luck to you, SIIIISTER!
Oniwaka: Back off my Master, creepo!

Motosumi: Wait we haven't even started for real yet
Takemaru: Motosumi we have like tons of people here. Maybe too much?
Motosumi thinks.
Echo: U-um, maybe this can help!
It's almost time for bean peanut throwing and all the ehoumaki are out!

PA System: Hello everyone, the peanut throwing will be starting soon. Uhh, activity explanation to be given in front of the temple? Yes that's right. Yay I didn't flub my lines!
Qinglong's car drives over to the activity area. People start coming over.
One explanation later, peanut bags are given out.

Motosumi: Here you go. Go bean Qinglong!
Amanojaku: R-right, thank you.
Oniwaka: Here ya go, Master! I'll get you some good luck!
Red Oni: Me big. Hit me. Master too, thanks.
Takemaru: We're on the other side for once! Tokyo is awesome.
Kagutsuchi: Everyone is having fun!
MC: Yeah / Gimme three more bags / this isn't a competition okay?
Motosumi: LET'S GOOOOO
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)

Boy A and Girl B: Good luck to Motosumi! (throws peanuts)
Motosumi: Wow thanks, kids! Now I'mma pray fo--HEY WAIT you're supposed to stay still!
Echo: Um, will you throw peanuts at me, Amanojaku?
Amanojaku: O-okay?
Qinglong: You weren't NEARLY this refrained when you were throwing peanuts at me!
Kagutsuchi: Amanojaku, me too!
Amanojaku: O-okay. Good luck to you...! (throws)
Kagutsuchi: That was so nice of you!
Amanojaku: Thank you. O-okay, my turn to be thrown at...
Kagutsuchi: Okay! (throws)
Amanojaku: ...wow this is kind of fun.
Amanojaku: (I hope this stops my dark side too.)
MC: (throw at Oniwaka) / (throw at Fuxi) / (fling that shit everywhere!)
(A) Oniwaka: Thanks Master! ...wait you want me to throw them at you too!? T-tell me if I hurt you!
(B) Fuxi: Yes! YES! YES! ...okay, Big Brother's turn now. I'll be gentle...
Qinglong: You are making this sound so wrong!
(C) Qinglong: O-oh my. How kind of you.
Red Oni: Happy day!

The crowd of randos join in! Later...
Motosumi: Okay, time to clean up. Also I need to buy more rice to make mochi with because this ain't gonna be enough.
Takemaru: 'kay I got things covered here.
Motosumi: Cool. You handle any shit that happens.
Qinglong: The children can go visit the stalls set up. We can clean ourselves. MC, Amanojaku, help?
MC: Okay. Kagutsuchi, Echo, you guys go ahead?
Echo: O-oh, okay then!
Kagutsuchi: I kind of feel bad for this...
Qinglong: It's okay. Have fun.
Fuxi: I still have noodles to make, I suppose.
Red Oni: Me help.
Oniwaka: Same. I can go have fun later.
Qinglong and Fuxi give spending money to everyone. Amanojaku bows politely and seems really happy.

Amanojaku: Thank you everyone. I've been wanting to talk with you all...
Reverse Amanojaku: SO I COULD TELL YOU ALL TO EAT A DICK
Kagutsuchi and Echo: !?
MC: WHAT? The world's flipped upside down!
Brain shaker! Everyone falls down!

Qinglong: Amanojaku! Oh no, it finally happened!
Fuxi: Did the trigrams just reverse?
Amanojaku: Oh no, and things were going so well...
MC: What just happened!? / did I just get Aura Vision? / sudden tsundere snapping. nice
--
(AB) Qinglong: Everything is still okay. Shall I explain?
(C) Amanojaku: WHAT? W-wai--
Reverse Amanojaku comes out! Qinglong pushes him back in!

Qinglong: Better now? It's okay, I'll explain.
---
Amanojaku: ...okay.

One explanation later
Echo: The ability to reflect and let loose vectors?
Kagutsuchi: And being with Qinglong-sensei was to learn to control that?
Amanojaku: (frowns)
Amanojaku seems conflicted.

Echo: ...I've been cursed too. I can only answer in echoes. I know you have your own problems, but...I think that's good enough to be friends!
Kagutsuchi: I've burned people because I can't control my fire before. Nobody's perfect. I support you in trying to get better!
Amanojaku: (shocked!)
MC: Yeah!

Amanojaku: W-wait, there's more to it though! It's more than emotions and directions!
Fuxi: So, everything then?
Amanojaku: !?
Fuxi: Pfffft, that's nothing new here in Tokyo. Remember what my fortune said? Go use your money present however you want.
Qinglong: Whatever you're planning, I'm in. Go have fun.
Amanojaku: w-what?
MC: Let's goooo!
MC and the kids check out the stalls!

Kagutsuchi: Did Fuxi get all these stalls set up?
Echo: Everything looks good but I can't eat all that...
Amanojaku: You guys, this is really impor--(stomach growl)--oh.
MC: Relax! Want cotton candy? Or shooting games?

Amanojaku: I guess I am hungry...
Kagutsuchi: Let's get takoyaki then!
Echo: I'll get in line for drinks! I'll text a picture of the menu.
Amanojaku: T-thanks. What should I do?
MC: Kick back / Figure out where to go next / Let's talk
---
(C) Amanojaku: O-okay. Um, could you step back a bit?
---
Amanojaku: I don't get what everyone is thinking, but...this is fun. Also before, when I flipped out? It wasn't supposed to stop so fast. Who are you, MC?
MC: Eh, nobody really / What do you see? / Still figuring that out too.
Amanojaku: You have even more Big Mess Energy than Qinglong-sensei, but that makes you relaxing somehow.

Echo and Kagutsuchi come back with stuff, being friendly in the way Amanojaku always wished he had friends.
Amanojaku: Oh, I'll go get us wet wipes to wash our hands with. (walks off)
Amanojaku: ...this feels weird.
Too much emotional whiplash. Amanojaku decides to go inside to wash his face.

Amanojaku: Huh. I never thought what my flip side looks from the outside before... maybe it's what I felt when I looked at MC? ...ah, oh no!
Sudden Urikohime flashbacks!

Amanojaku: I have to get away from everyone! (regretting his life choices) ...huh?
Reverse Amanojaku!
Meanwhile

Fuxi: I'm ready to make noodles no--wait I sense a disturbance in the flow of things!

Where MC is
Kagutsuchi: I hope I can make mochi with Amanojaku!
Echo: Hmm. Should I make another announcement...?
Qinglong: Hello everyone!
MC: are you slacking off / didn't Amanojaku tell you no more takoyaki? / Amanojaku's getting wet wipes
---
(A) Qinglong: No, no, some people helped me to clean up!
(B) Qinglong: N-no he didn't! I wouldn't steal food from my students.
---
Qinglong: So Amanojaku went to the shrine? Maybe I should buy someth--!?--oh no! Get over here!
World warping!
MC: WHAT
Qinglong: Is everyone okay!?
Echo: I'm okay... what happened?
Kagutsuchi: Careful, I sense danger!
Qinglong steps forward! Some house collapses and something crawls out of it!

Reverse Amanojaku: (stares)
MC: Amanojaku! / (reach out) / (ready sword)
Qinglong: !!
Reverse Amanojaku: AAAAAA
End of Episode

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