Sunday, June 26, 2022

El Dorado Treasure Hunt Episode 2 (Abridged)

Flashback
Andvari: Hey Nomad wanna come look for El Dorado's treasure?
Nomad: Leave me out of your snipe hunts!
Andvari: Aww, don't be like that. Well if you change your mind, here's where it is. Don't tell anyone!
Present
Nomad: Oops, I forgot about that. But at least it's making these people go away.
Tanetomo: Okay, time to go. Be sure to enjoy my lovingly prepared dust from our tracks!
Yasuyori: Bye!
The two head off.

Tiger Man: Let's go too! I'm surprised you're into this, doctor. Gonna let loose?
Shennong: No! I never know if you guys are coming back alive when you go out! Oh well let's do this. Bye MC.
MC: Huh, everyone's getting excited. Let's go too!
Tezcatlipoca: I am a baaad influence. These subordinates are almost wasted on me.
Nomad: Well the boss does tend to influence the underlings I guess.

Tezcatlipoca: Okay, BRRRROTHER! Time to go! Apologies for the ruckus, Nomad.
Nomad: If that's how you really feel, then you owe me!
Tezcatlipoca: Haha, you really want ME to pay you back? I only give atrocities. But if you're sure, then I'll commit it to memory. I have my ways.
MC and Tezcatlipoca leave. Nomad watches everyone through his blinds.

Nomad: Ugh, finally they're gone. Now where's that job I got? (picks up his phone to make a call)

Later
MC: Huh.
MC is in front of some ruins by themselves while Tezcatlipoca went back to Nerima to change bodies. Then Bertro and Shiva arrive.
Bertro: Hello! I thought we'd run into you here.
Shiva: Guildmaster you told me there was a good training place here.
Bertro: I did indeed! Look, it's MC! Go fight them, that'd be some good training.
MC: Are ALL the Warmongers coming too?
Bertro: Yes! It's our little war game today, racing for El Dorado's treasure.
Shiva: Does it LOOK like I care about treasure? MY TRAINING!
Bertro: Okay, show how your training's come so far by fighting MC.
MC: Well you're having fun, making Shiva your plaything. / I'm glad to see you two.
Bertro: I wanna see Shiva open his third eye!

Bertro: When Shiva's third eye opens, he can burn down the world and the universe...I wanna see that! War is awesome! (starts pushing Shiva towards MC)
Shiva: CEASE
Bertro: C'mon, why don't you look MC in the eyes?
Shiva: Stop! STOP! BEGONE THOT
Tezcatlipoca: Hi I'm back. Also MC is mine now, we already have plans.
Bertro: Aww, but we were about to have war.
Tezcatlipoca: Haha, I'm already in a war with my subordinates! Next time.
Bertro: But what's another war to the pile gonna hurt?
MC: Let's train one on one, Shiva / Bertro we can talk next time / Tez let's run!
(A) Shiva: HNNNGH! ...very well, next time!
Bertro: Aww, he got talked out of it easier than I thought. Well maybe I'll go back and wait to hear how things went here.
(B) Bertro: Interesting! But there's still the investigation and...eh, never mind that now. Tell me how today goes, I'll have better jokes when you come by! Or worse. Something.
(C) MC and Tezcatlipoca go.

Bertro: I'll be waiting to hear all about it! Bye!
Shiva: ...are you sure you are okay with just letting them go after coming all this way?
Bertro: Yep! There's plenty of people here already without us getting involved too. Let's try getting ahead of them, and while we're at it let me see if I can make you crack a smile.
Shiva: >8(
Bertro: Haha, don't be like that! You never laugh at my jokes and it's making me want to try even more now!
Shiva: Ugh, you'll just keep talking even if I say no.
Bertro: You know me so well. This way!

Inside
Tezcatlipoca: Hmm. I can just barely tell if this place is from El Dorado. Someone's already come here, so it must be the others. We should get going.
MC: Seems dangerous / Let's beat them!
---
(A) Tezcatlipoca: Haha! I'm here, so you'll be fine.
(B) Tezcatlipoca: Yes! That's the spirit!
---
Tezcatlipoca: If this place really is from El Dorado we have even less reason to fear. When we are together there is nothing we cannot do in that world! (pulls out his mirror)
MC: What are you doing?
Tezcatlipoca: Behold! (spawns copies of himself)
MC: Whoa... / We'll find that treasure in no time!
(A) Tezcatlipoca: Yes, I'm sure my power is mighty!
(B) Tezcatlipoca: Did you want to touch me? By all means!

Tezcatlipoca starts getting ideas. Evil Ideas. His smoke copies spread out and hide into the walls.
Tezcatlipoca: Anyways it shouldn't take too long to sus out the correct way. Let's wait here while we figure that out. I wonder what the treasure is! I'm going to win this one, peons!
Tezcatlipoca's smoke copies find the likely treasure spot soon afterwards.

Outside, a little bit after Tez and MC have arrived.
Tanetomo: I'm still surprised you two agreed to ally with us, Doctor, Tiger Man.
Tiger Man: I know the boss's awesomeness! And I know that while I do want to challenge him head on and alone, I also know I'm not quite good enough to excite him that way. So let's do this!
Tanetomo: Okay. Dance for me, puppets!
Shennong: Well the prep dragged on, but let's hurry in. Yasuyori, help me open the door.
Yasuyori: Okay! I'll take the right hand side.

Inside
Tanetomo: Hmm. This is more complicated than I was expecting.
Tiger Man: How about I run full speed? That'd be better than all of us splitting up.
Tanetomo: No, you'd just get lost with how big this place is. We should stick together and--
Everyone: !!
Arrow traps from all directions! But even with the surprise attack element, everyone manages to block the shots with Tiger Man and Yasuyori doing so barehanded.
Yasuyori: Is everyone okay!?
Tanetomo: Y-yes, that almost got me though...
The arrows poof into smoke.

Tanetomo: Hmm...the boss did this. He has no chill at all.
Shennong: That's nice sometimes, but some consideration for us would be nice too.
Tanetomo: They've been here much earlier than we have. We should still be able to make it though.
The four proceed onward. They run into another trap not long after.

Elsewhere inside
MC and Tezcatlipoca make it to the depths of the ruins where moss and trees are growing among a marble-fashioned room.

Tezcatlipoca: Interesting. This really does look like something from El Dorado, so maybe there really is a secret treasure from there here.
MC: I wonder what it is? / I heard screaming. / I see something!
(A) Tezcatlipoca: We'll know soon. Look over there.
(B) Tezcatlipoca: Haha, the others must have found my surprise for them. That is faster than I expected though, but look over there.

MC: Wow that's a pretty spring, but is that really it?
Tezcatlipoca: Is the real treasure the good times we had along the way?
MC: I'M BEING ATTACKED WITH CLICHES! Where's the treasure!?
Tezcatlipoca: Kidding. But I did get an idea of what the treasure is when we got here.
Tezcatlipoca points into the water. It only reflects him and MC.

MC: ...are you saying the treasure was us all along now?
Tezcatlipoca: Ha, nope! But maybe that's not wrong!
Tezcatlipoca thinks for a bit.

Tezcatlipoca: If I'm right, the treasure should be in the water. I'll go get it. You wait here since it looks rather deep. (strips and jumps in)
MC: Careful! Well I guess he'll be okay.

A few moments later, MC notices someone is around and gets ready to fight.
Tanetomo: Hi. So this seems to be the place. Where's the commander? It doesn't seem like you have the treasure yet. (sees Tez's discarded clothes and figures out what's going on)
MC: Where's Tiger Man and Shennong? You guys got here fast. / Let's talk!
(AB) Tanetomo: I think they got lost. We just kept following the path that for SOME REASON was heavily trapped and made it here. Oh well that was tiring. Let's take a break while we wait for the commander to come back up.
Yasuyori: Okay! Come sit with us, MC!
(C) Tanetomo: Okay. Sit with us, Yasuyori.
Yasuyori: O-okay. Tell me if I let off too much heat.
Tanetomo: Now let me tell you about this one time between me and Yasuyori when--
Yasuyori: NOOOOO

Some time later, Tezcatlipoca comes back in all his HOT GLORY and a golden quetzalcoatl statue under his arm.
Tezcatlipoca: I'm back, BRRRROTHER! Also I see my advisor and his lackey are here. It must have been rough.
Tanetomo: Yes, no thanks to SOMEONE.
Tezcatlipoca: Haha, but we win! (holds up the statue)
MC: pls put clothes on / WE'RE RICH (smugface)
(A) Tezcatlipoca: Haha, why are you looking away?

Yasuyori: Sir, how did you know that statue was in the water?
Tezcatlipoca: I thought it would be there if this place really is based on El Dorado. (wipes off and puts his clothes back on)
Tezcatlipoca: El Dorado revolves around sacrifice, but there was a minority against it of course. Like Xolotl. Instead of sacrificing themselves they just used substitutes and threw them into volcanoes or springs. Gold is valuable, but I think the light of life as it goes out is even better.
MC: So what's the statue? / Eh. I think it's plenty.
(A) Tezcatlipoca: It's you! Well wait, it doesn't have even 1/10 of your appeal.
(BC) Tezcatlipoca: Haha, you never change. I'm sure this statue is proof of that faith for you.

Tezcatlipoca: I still wasn't expecting this treasure to be a statue of you though. Change of plans! I am keeping this in my room and I will admire it every day!
Tanetomo and Yasuyori watch Tezcatlipoca with warm smiles.

Tezcatlipoca: Groupie #1 and the doctor are probably lost, so we should pick them up on the way home.
Tanetomo: Let's make them do something as a penalty for not even making it this far.
Tezcatlipoca: Excellent idea!
And then Andvari, Bathym, Pollux, and Ikutoshi come in to everyone's surprise.

End of Episode

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