Fabulous Summer Host Episode 4 Part 3 (Abridged)

The next day.
Rando A: Hey have you heard? Has anyone told you? The Fabulous Summer Host club is doing another event! But the club's reviews are bombing so I'm unsure about going even if it's for Shino.
Rando B: Let's go anyway! Might be fun to mix things up.
Lots of people are coming because they heard "special event!"
Hei Long Yi Quan: Wow, Sarutahiko! I'm gonna use my influencer status to turn attention your way!
Flashback!
HLYQ: Life's full of stuff you can't do anything about...
Sarutahiko: Hei Long Yi Quan, I need your help! And your star power! I'll pay later after it works!
Later on
HLYQ: Heyo! Since you're asking me to edit, you okay with letting me fill in the video's subject matter?
Sarutahiko: Sure!

Present
Shino: Hello. I've missed you.
Rando B: OMG Shino???
Shino: What? I was thinking I wouldn't see you anymore.
Rando B: NO I NEED YOU MASTER SHINO, I'LL BUY ALL THE DRINKS
Shino: ...just Shino is fine. Call me that, please.
Rando B: EEEEE
Elsewhere in the bar
Y'golonac: Hey baby, thanks for askin' for me again! Today's my turn to make YOU happy!
Rando A: Um, c-can I call you Y'golly?
Y'golonac: Sure can! Ain't it a bit too cute for someone my age tho?
Rando A: Yaaay!
So much screaming and crying! Happy screaming and crying!
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whoa, what a change!
Bael: Well well, if it isn't you. I heard from Sarutahiko.
HLYQ: Hi! You said this was a shuffle event? Nice!
Bael: Oh you haven't seen everything yet. How about I sit with you until then?

Later
Team Tsukuyomi is in on this shuffle event too.
Barong: Hey kitty. You up for THAT today?
Blue: OH GOD YES I'll try to make you happy!
Barong: Ooh, nice~.
Blue: It's great doing something for you for once.
Barong: Aww! No promises about what happens next.
Blue: GAAAASP!
Switching things up for today!

Tsukuyomi: Isn't this nice?
Y'golonac: Why are ya standin' there smiling by yourself? Think you won already?
Tsukuyomi: Oh hi, don't mind me, business as usual. Game's still up in the air.
Y'golonac: ...ya really sure about helpin' us?
Tsukuyomi: Yep! This does help us too, you know. Plus I told you to not use your power. Go ask for other help all you like. Honestly I was glad when I heard you agreed to Sarutahiko's idea. You take too much on yourself, you can ask your guildmates for help.
Y'golonac: O-oh...
Tsukuyomi: Everyone helps me during the day, and you help so much with the management.
Y'golonac: Y-ya gotta do a little better as the boss about town, Tsukuyomi!
Tsukuyomi: wait is that what we're talking about?
Mermaid A: Hi excuse me Tsukuyomi, is Sarutahiko not in today?
Tsukuyomi: You're that one girl who's a customer of his, right? He's getting ready in the back.
Mermaid: Oh good. So I need to talk about something and...

Later
People are way more excited today than they have all event! So many good vibe reviews!
MC: Problem solved? / Sarutahiko was right / I wish I was a customer!
Perun: HA! He could've just agreed to serve us, but it is good how happy the customers are. You may have whatever you desire, Sarutahiko!
MC: Still uppity I see / Can you actually host like normal? / Are you NOT doing your bossy host thing?
---
(BC) Perun whistles badly. Hmm...
---
Tetsugyuu: (grabs mic) Hey you guys, having fun?! Wondering why I'm in a swimsuit? Hit it, Sarutahiko!
So many bubbles flooding the bar!
Sarutahiko: Hey guys, bubble party! Who wants to sink into my bubbles and love?
SCREAMING AND CRYING MOBS!
Sarutahiko: Love you guys! (looks embarrassed shooting rainbow bubbles)
Perun: WHAT
Tetsugyuu: We got bubble guns for everyone too! Shoot a bubble heart and hit a host, get something Really Nice!
Everyone takes interest. Everyone.
Bael, Perun and Y'golonac: Hmmmm...
MC: (hmm, who to shoot) / this cannot end well / I gotta get out of here!

Y'golonac: Oh noooes, ah just slipped mah fingers tryna shoot mah babies and now I shot at MC!
MC pops the bubble!
Perun: Pffft, you couldn't hit a snowflake in a Kitezh blizzard. Behold the emperor's Imperial Privilege-powered marksmanship!
Y'golonac: Back off bub, MC's MINE
Bubble heart bullet hell time!
MC: OH NO
Y'golonac: MC, you can shoot me if ya want~!
Perun: No, ME!
MC: ...oh whatever! / (shoot at them) / (shoot at customers)
(AC) MC shoots at the customers.
(B) MC misses and the shots go towards the customers.

Bael: Look out! (bodyblocks for a mob) Okay good, it should be ME shooting for your heart, cherie. But oh my, what is this Really Nice something or other you want, MC--
Perun: HA! You haven't been hit at all, Bael!
Y'golonac: Oh no, I wiped off the bubble because I thought ya had sumthin' spill on ya, whoopsies~!
Bael: (wait what, when!?)
Standoff! ...and then truce as the three point bubble guns at MC!
Bael: First to hit MC while evading the customers wins?
Perun: Simple enough. I'll just take you all!
Y'golonac: MC, just take a fall for me already mkay?
MC: Nooo~ / what if I give you all attention later / GODDAMMIT
Bael, Perun and Y'golonac: GET EM
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Sarutahiko: Now what do we have to say for ourselves?
Sarutahiko has Bael, Perun, and Y'golonac doing the Japanese Sitting of Shame.
Sarutahiko: Y'all ever think there might be a reason the customers review bombed you guys?
Perun: Sorry...
Sarutahiko: ...well as long as you get it. Go on, have fun with everyone in the bubble party.
Bubble party's still going on with everyone else.
Shino: S-stop! I am no pet!
Pet bathtime play!
Barong: Love all you guys!
Barong is getting buried in bubbles!
Tsukuyomi: Aww, don't just stand there...you want me to cover you in bubbles? Hmm, maybe I will then.
MC: I think people are starting to forget the goal, but eh, whatever's fun! / SHINO IS MINE

Y'golonac: Meh, fine. I'mma big boy, shoot me all ya like!
Bael: Let's go Perun. We shouldn't let Team Tsukuyomi get ahead again.
Perun: Hmm. Very well. Servants, I permit you to wash me!
Sarutahiko smiles as Team Y'golonac gets back into things.
MC: Thanks, Sarutahiko. Sorry my team's such a pain. / (shoot him)
(AB) Sarutahiko: It's cool. Let's get back in there too!
Just as Sarutahiko turns to go...
(C) Sarutahiko: WHAT? Okay you're in for a bubble gun fight now!
Just when Sarutahiko gets really close...

Tsukuyomi: Order up, three champagne towers for Sarutahiko! Come on over!
Sarutahiko: Holy shit they're huge!
Biggest towers yet.
Mermaid A: Surprise! A gift from all your stans!
All of his regulars are standing by the towers!
Mermaid A: Figured we had to do this when we heard you were helping the other team. We stan that selfless kindness!
Sarutahiko: B-but it ain't that big a deal!
Sarutahiko's fans all yell thanks at him! One of them calls him cute.
Sarutahiko: WHO SAID THAT
Tsukuyomi: Aww, isn't that nice? Your fans saw how hard you worked and now you're number one today. You know what that means, right?

Tsukuyomi gives Sarutahiko a crowned rubber ducky. Sarutahiko steps up.
Sarutahiko: Oh my god thanks guys. I never thought I'd have so much support, seriously.
The fans cheer him on. Gone is the accused, lonely traitor guide.
Sarutahiko: Well shit I might cry. Let's keep bubble partying, cheers!
MC: (toast to him) Cheers!
Y'golonac: Holy shit that tower???
Perun: How DARE you use us!?
Sarutahiko: N-no, that's not--
Bael: I hope you know what's coming.
Sarutahiko: NOOOO
No beatdown comes. Instead, Sarutahiko gets lifted up.
Y'golonac: Heh, naw we ain't doin' that. Congrats!
Barong: Good for you, man!
Perun: Heh. Okay, you managed an impressive takeover. It's not happening again!
Bael: Oh, so we're not dropping him on his head?
Sarutahiko: P-please say psych...
Bael, Perun, and Y'golonac: (stares)
Barong: It's okay, I'll catch you Sarutahiko!
The teams are getting to be closer friends!
Later
Yellow: Aww man, I missed the summer host blame train and now people are shittalking ME!
Someone sneaks up from behind...
Yellow: whomst--wait what are you...AAAAAHH
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 4 Part 2 (Abridged)

Day 5 of the event! Team Tsukuyomi has taken the lead.
Mermaid: Hey Saru it's me again! Look at this!
It's that same mermaid girl who talked to Sarutahiko on Day 1, and she's showing Sarutahiko a pic of her smiling with someone.
Mermaid: I took your advice and now we're friends!
Sarutahiko: Yay for you!
Mermaid: Thanks to you! And you remember our promise?
Sarutahiko promised to talk about his past.
Sarutahiko: Oh, right. Don't tell anyone okay, it's my cringe period.
Flashback!
Bathhouse Boss Oni: Oh you woke up? Stay down, you been beat to hell and back.
Sarutahiko: Piss off old man, nobody asked you for help!
Sarutahiko tries to leave Saru no Yu. Boss Oni grabs him.
Sarutahiko: OW, IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT HURT PEOPLE!?
Bathhouse Boss Oni: Boy, you think you can waste people's work trying to help for free?
Boss Oni writes something in his ledger and shows Sarutahiko something with a lot of zeroes.
Sarutahiko: Bitch, are you ripping me off!?
Bathhouse Boss Oni: What, no money? You can pay in other ways...

Present
Mermaid: Wait, did he make you do THAT!?
Sarutahiko: Old Man worked me sooo hard. But he really knew his stuff and knew how to handle a dude like me. I was a huge bitch but he stayed patient and never gave up on me. And how he talked is how I learned to talk with you, ducky.
Mermaid: Wow, I wish I were there to pick you up back then.
Sarutahiko smiles and thinks about how that would have been a TERRIBLE idea back then. But then, people change. And as a guide, Sarutahiko hopes he can at least guide those around him towards something better.
Mermaid: Oh yeah, how's the other team doing? Reviews are bad.
Mermaid shows Sarutahiko the reviews online. Yeah, they're p bad.
Sarutahiko: (Oof. Wish I could help, but we're competing and I doubt they'd want my help...)
Sarutahiko is thinking. Mermaid waves her hand in his face.
Mermaid: Hellooo in there. Maybe I shouldn't have asked?
Sarutahiko: Oh, sorry. I am pretty worried, but thanks for worrying about me. I'm...just not sure I can go talk to them though...
Mermaid: Come on, you should try to be number one yourself! I want you to get there!
Sarutahiko: ...aw thanks, I'll try.
And then Sarutahiko sees her off and thinks about what she said and how he showed how out of it he was.

Meanwhile...
Y'golonac: WHAT
Y'golonac is looking at reviews. People are harsh on Team Y'golonac and particularly on Y'golonac himself.
Y'golonac: "dude's totally in it for getting faith"? "he ain't got no leadership skill"? "The Foreigner can't even help me get away from reality"!? Get in the car, boys! We gonna find eacha these peeps and goin' on a raid!
MC: NO WAIT STOP / you can do that!? / I'm in
---
(A) Bael: No, we should go about this legally. With lawsuits!
(B) Y'golonac: Heh. I can SMELL spite over da internet!
Bael: Huh. Interesting.
(C) Bael: Stop.
---
Perun: Crush all dissention! Round them all up!
Okay they're mad, but it's pretty clear there's a growing customer popularity gap.
Shino: Stop, or I shall cut you both down.
Bael: ...well well. How bold. MC, we should ignore them all.
Shino: Oh, you wanted to be first? I'm happy to oblige!
MC: Nooo, we should be working together!
Y'golonac: Maybe we should quit and go home? Expanding business was a bad idea?
Perun: What? Give up and cement our losses?
Y'golonac: But winnin' people back is gonna be hard! Bad reviews spread easier! Not like we got some good news to push all that way.
And then the circular argument starts cycling.

Later
Sarutahiko: uggggh
Barong: Wow, who rained on your parade?
Sarutahiko watched Team Y'golonac fight and Barong noticed Sarutahiko frowning.
Sarutahiko: Oh, uh, it's nothing. Come to think of it, you don't seem to worry about anything huh?
Barong: I guess! Customers say they like that about me.
Sarutahiko: Must be nice. I worry about every little thing.
Barong: But that's what's good about you! You get the little details covered. Thanks for that.
Barong headpats Sarutahiko. Sarutahiko disapproves.
Barong: Why not go help them then?
Sarutahiko: Would they even listen?
Barong: I think it'll be fine. Oh, duty calls!
Sarutahiko: Oh my god, stick it out if you were gonna give me advice!
Barong: You'll be fine. Tell me how it goes, kthnxbai~!
Sarutahiko: ...welp. Guess that's how he's popular as a host.

Sarutahiko heads back to work and hears randos talking.
Mermaid A: Dude, the other team is floundering sooo hard.
Guy B: Inorite? I just bailed on them!
Sarutahiko: Heeey duckies, you shouldn't go talking about the other team when you're with us hehe.
Mermaid A: Oh my god, Sarutahiko! Have you heard? Did anyone tell you?
Welp, subject change failed. The tea was too hot to not talk smack about together, but still...
Sarutahiko: Yeah, I get it with wanting to make comparisons and looking at the bad. But that's exactly why I want you to see the good. Try it on me!
Guy B: Ooh, trying to be like Barong? I'll list everything I can!
And so Guy B starts rattling Sarutahiko's good points off.
Sarutahiko: (...what DO I do with Y'golonac's team?)
Sarutahiko refocuses when he realizes he's drifting. Except there's a commotion happening now.
Bael: Pardon me, Sarutahiko. Do you have a moment?
MC: Hi excuse us / oof we stand out / (wink)
Sarutahiko: !?

Later
Bael: So...we'd like some advice for our team.
Sarutahiko: Huh. I didn't peg you to ever ask for advice.
Bael: Unsurprising. And I believe in the power of collective problem solving.
MC: HEEELP (grabs Sarutahiko's hands)
Sarutahiko: I mean I want to, but what about Perun and Y'golonac?
Bael looks away. Sarutahiko understands.
Sarutahiko: Meh, why not? I've been thinking about it the whole time!
Bael: ...thank you! Any ideas?
Sarutahiko: Nope! I was just thinking you guys are screwed!
Bael: ...MC I think we asked the wrong person for help.
MC: It'll be okay, somehow! / yeah... / Quiet, he'll hear you!

Sarutahiko: I HEARD THAT! But this is still a competition and I won't do some things so...
Bael raises an eyebrow as Sarutahiko whispers something.
Bael: Ah, not a totally terrible idea. Might actually stop the bad rep if it works, except both teams would have to work together. Don't you think that's impossible?
Saruathiko: Yeaaaah...I don't think Y'golonac would ever take Tsukuyomi's help.
Bael: There's also the fact that your plan won't help your team at all. Do you think you can talk them into it? What if they call you a turncoat?
Bael starts right at Sarutahiko. Sarutahiko goes doki-doki!
Sarutahiko: I-I'll do it! I want you guys to do better! And...
Sarutahiko smiles when he thinks about his team.
Sarutahiko: I get the feeling they'll tell me to go for it.
Bael: Uh-huh. You do know we're royally screwed if it doesn't work? Except I agree with you actually.
Sarutahiko: Welp, that means MC needs to talk the rest of your team into it then.
Bael: I'm sure Shino will agree. Perun and Y'golonac will oppose though.
MC: Me!? / Hmm... / I got it!
---
(A) Bael: Why are you surprised? You're closer to them.
---
Bael: Show them the Charisma you've been grinding here so far!
Sarutahiko: Okay this could blow up, but good luck MC!
MC: Right! / no promises

Later
Y'golonac: Co-op with Team Tsukuyomi? Are you freakin' serious??? Why would they even agree!?
Welp.
MC: pleeease? / Think of our position! / (aww...)
---
(A) Y'golonac: Y-y-ya better not think that'll work on me! Look, you got customers! Chop chop!
(B) Y'golonac: But I AM! I'm still Kabukicho's number two host!
---
MC isn't hopeful as they go to Perun next.
Perun: Cooperation? They're going to be our servants? FINALL--wait what do you mean that wasn't it?

Later
MC: No dice.
Bael: Well that was predictable.
Sarutahiko: Wait, maybe I can try!
Bael: How can that possibly go any better?
Sarutahiko: You never know!
Bael: MC, maybe you should debase yourself for this and sell your soul. Would you like to contract with me?
MC: NO / what if I granted your wish? / My soul's worth something?
---
(B) Bael: Hmmmm...
(C) Bael: Oh you sweet summer child.
---
Sarutahiko: At least PRETEND to be supportive! Watch, I'll make our teams work together!

Later
Sarutahiko and Y'golonac are being awkward around each other.
Sarutahiko: (wait what do I even say)
Y'golonac: So like I'm kinda busy here... (distrustful side-eye)
Bael: He didn't have a plan!?
MC: We gotta help Sarutahiko!
Bael: Fiiiine, we can give him a hint. Here, make a cue card.
MC: (write "talk about the weather") / (write "find common ground") / (write "make a joke")
(A) Sarutahiko: (That'll just make things MORE awkward!)
(B) Sarutahiko: (Oh right, thanks!)
(C) Sarutahiko: (Goddammit, no MC!)

Y'golonac: Can I leave yet?
Sarutahiko: Wait! Uhh, I wanna ask you about MC!
Y'golonac: Can't you just go talk to MC instead then?
Sarutahiko: I can't ask them directly! Besides, MC talks about you a lot!
Y'golonac: Really? Awesome, gwehehe!
MC: cringe / LIES / cute
Bael: Quiet, MC! Also, wow Sarutahiko actually found an in.
Y'golonac: And that's how that one time with MC went!
Sarutahiko: Aww man I wish I was there then! But then this one time, at the bathhouse...
MC: OMG STOP / what are they talking about / Sarutahiko, the goal!

Y'golonac: ...so anyways, did Tsukuyomi put ya up to this?
Sarutahiko: UHHH, NO? Naw man, just wanted to be better friends even if we're on different teams, haha...
Y'golonac: Bro you suck bad at this lyin' thing. Maybe I oughta teach ya a lesson...
Y'golonac licks his lips and brings his hand up to Sarutahiko!
Sarutahiko: OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR HAND
MC: No, stooop! / Y'golonac what the hell
---
(AB) Y'golonac: Okay finally ya come out. What the hell were ya doin'?
(C) Y'golonac: That's what I wanna ask you. Seriously what?
---
Sarutahiko: oh god thanks MC
Bael: Y'golonac I assume you've figured as much, but Sarutahiko came to discuss helping us.
Y'golonac: You were SERIOUS!?
Sarutahiko: Well yeah! I mean, the bar as a whole isn't doing good...
Sarutahiko looks sincere.
Y'golonac: ...fine, I guess I can hear ya out.
MC, Sarutahiko, and Bael smile.
Bael: Wow, you actually look much cuter when you open up and be honest Y'go--
Y'golonac: OH GAWD DON'T SAY IT
Sarutahiko: Heh. Sorry to interrupt, but here's the plan...
End of Episode part

 

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 4 Part 1 (Abridged)

Recap!
So the Outlaws are doing a summer host club on the beach of Odaiba! The bar's called the Fabulous Summer Host by the way. Day 1 had Barong winning things for Team Tsukuyomi, Day 2 had Bael winning things for Team Y'golonac with the golem copies. Day 3...?
Tsukuyomi: Hey stars, I shine thanks to you all.
Night King Charisma! Look at all them damn champagne towers he sold! He's ready to cast Essence of Champagne Wave!
Tetsugyuu: Holy shit, you're out of your element and ya still did all that!
Shino: Oh no!
Welp.

Present
Perun: HOW
Y'golonac: Uh, Tsukuyomi saw this comin' somehow. Seems like we gotta use our numbers advantage to get back ahead.
MC: Wow / We can still make it! / We gotta try...!
Perun: Well what are you waiting for, Number 2? Do something!
Y'golonac: B-but I can't use my power...
Bael: Now now, it's only been a day. We can fix this.
Shino: But how...?
Perun: We should use Bael's turnover strategy!
MC: Boo!
Perun: Y'golonac, ideas? You know this thing best!
Y'golonac: Uhhhh, giving out fanbook of revelations pages for every ten visits for repeat customers?

Tsukuyomi is listening in on Team Y'golonac's meeting and looks displeased.
Sarutahiko: Uh, something wrong?
Tsukuyomi: Oh, I was worried Team Y'golonac was going to try something problematic. Kinda reminds me of this one time where I hoped we could be allies.
Sarutahiko doesn't get Tsukuyomi. And so Team Y'golonac DOES try something iffy.
Later
Bug A: ...I've been coming every day but I don't feel so special anymore.
Guy B: I know right? They're getting too focused on their contest when we're paying customers!
This happens sometimes after the contest was announced.
Guy B: The bossy host actually took the lead for me earlier!
Bug A: service sucks, 1/whatever, would not come again. And posted.
Sarutahiko and Tetsugyuu notice the customers leaving!
Tetsugyuu: Damn, are they struggling over there?
Sarutahiko: I guess. It's a reminder we gotta keep focused on our customers.
Tetsugyuu: Did the Night King see this coming? He coulda said something.
Sarutahiko: Who knows what celestials are thinking? But he might've said something earlier?

Sarutahiko and Tetsugyuu go back inside.
Reverse Amanojaku: Sup jackasses, I was about to bail since you took so long!
Qinglong: And for once this morning you kept yelling about wanting to come here.
Reverse Amanojaku: (gasp!)
Amanojaku: Why'd you have to say that, you jerk!?
Sarutahiko: Hey you two. Huh, did I ever say I'd be working as a host here?
Girimekhala: Hotei's been yelling about it everywhere.
Tianzun: Hmm, you boys have been very naughty for keeping a party like this a secret. Verrry naughty.
Sarutahiko: Dammit I forgot to gag him! I bet he thought he was helping!
Sarutahiko looks around worried his other friends are here.

Girimehkala: It's cool, the other Asakusa peeps said they'll come later. We were worried it'd look like a gang war if we all came together.
Sarutahiko: Shit, they're probably right. But why are teachers here too? That's gonna be SO awkward!
Qinglong: Now now, I just wanted to see my students working hard. Oh! Peach juice! Tetsugyuu, a bottle of that please...okay?
Amanojaku: Let's share!
Qinglong: You should pick something you like. They have fruit platters so...ooh, how about this one with a whole peach?
Amanojaku: ...no, you'll let go too much.
Tetsugyuu: Heh, coming right up babe!
Qinglong: Wow it feels so weird being called that.
Sarutahiko: Shaaame! SHAME!
Tianzun: Now now like I always say, sometimes going with the flow is how you win. Come on, Girimekhala! Order something, our treat.
Girimekhala: Really? Cool! Uh, Sarutahiko what's this Bubbly Special whatever?
Sarutahiko: (GASP!)

Sarutahiko: uhhhh...it's a special thing for customers who pick me...
Reverse Amanojaku: Which means you want us to order it right? You DO, huh? RIGHT?
Sarutahiko: Just get a normal drink okay!?
Qinglong: But why? How about I order one since Tianzun pays?
Tianzun: I'm not paying for you.
The Umamichi folk go order Tetsugyuu and Sarutahiko's specials!
Reverse Amanojaku: Hey look, we ordered it! So, whatcha gonna do about it? Make him do it, Girimekhala!
Girimekhala: UHHH
Sarutahiko: GODDAMMIT FINE
Sarutahiko suddenly hugs Girimekhala.
Sarutahiko: Hey ducky, how about you make a toast with me with your trunk?
Girimekhala: O-oh my god???
Sarutahiko kneels a little so he looks up at Girimekhala as he comes in. Girimekhala steps back and slips!
Girimekhala: oop--AAAAAHH (flump)
Sarutahiko: Oh god are you okay!? I'll pull you up!

Some time later, Tsukuyomi walks over.
Tsukuyomi: Hey Barong, Sarutahiko? There's a customer I wanna send to you guys.
Sarutahiko: Okay!
Sometimes customers pick one specific host, and sometimes they shop around.
Hei Long Yi Quan: Wow, it's nice in here again! Well what do you expect with the Night King, eh?
Barong: Welcome kitt--oh hey it's you again.
HLYQ: Hi! Wow you remember me even though I picked the other team last time? Tsukuyomi asked me to come today, and I wanted to come when you guys officially opened. Also the BEL48 thing blew up on the net!
Sarutahiko stares at HLYQ in deja vu until he recognizes him.

Sarutahiko: Holy shit, Barong we gotta talk!
Barong: What?
Sarutahiko: That's Hei Long Yi Quan! He's a huge influencer! Tsukuyomi's gonna have our asses if we mess this up!
Tsukuyomi notices Sarutahiko looking at him and winks.
Sarutahiko: This is a huge--wait Barong where'd you go
Barong: Hey kitty, nice bod. Wanna dance with me?
HLYQ: Ooh, nice. But next time! I'd derail the video if I did.
Sarutahiko: GODDAMMIT BARONG
Barong: What? He's still a customer, influencer or whatever.
HLYQ catches Sarutahiko's eyes and starts putting on a voice.
HLYQ: Hey, you're...Sarutahiko? Can we talk? Pleeease?
Sarutahiko: Uhhhh okay?
Sarutahiko sighs and thinks about what Barong said.
Sarutahiko: Welcome! Mind if I call you ducky?
HLYQ: Sure! I call everyone in chat Master, so that's about the same thing.
Sarutahiko: Okay, hold out your glass while I pour you a welcome drink.

And so Sarutahiko and Hei Long Yi Quan have a talk and drink. Nice times.
HLYQ: Thanks guys, I had fun!
Barong: I'm glad you look so happy!
Sarutahiko: Are you going to go ask for Tsukuyomi and Tetsugyuu next? They'll be opening new tables soon.
HLYQ: Ooh, slick! But sorry, I'm scheduled for the bossy host next.
Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko Doomer Vision activate!
HLYQ: So I tried the bossy host and he's good if you're into that!
Chat: "Yeah!" "he sucks" "I want HLYQ" "okay captain obvious" "i'm out bruh"
Present
Sarutahiko: (oh god that could happen)
Sarutahiko Memory Trigger!
Takamagahara Peeps: "TRAITOR" "shaaame" "what a JERK"
Bathhouse Customers: "oh my god a punk" "freaky" "I'm taking my business elsewhere!"

Present
Sarutahiko: Uh, how about you pick me again? I wanna talk some more.
Sarutahiko slips character for a second.
Hei Long Yi Quan: Whoa! I shouldn't stay with one person for too long though, so how about we play Tug A Yi Quan?
Barong: Oh my god Sarutahiko, you can't just stop customers from going around!
Sarutahiko falters from self-aware possible overthinking, but his Insight says he has to stop him!
Sarutahiko: Pleeease, ducky?
HLYQ has an idea.
HLYQ: How about we have a dance off for my video then? If you get the most Likes/tips, then I'll go with you again.
Barong and Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko: Stacking the deck much with a dancer here!?
HLYQ: Well I'm no dancer either. So you in or out?
Sarutahiko: ...okay fine! Dammit, I shoulda got more dance tips from Barong!
Sarutahiko gives a "throw me a bone" look to Barong.
Barong: Uh, what? Anyways, I'm going all out!
Sarutahiko: Oh FML! FIIIINE, I just have to win, right!?
HLYQ: Why not go for do better? Hey chat, here comes our Beasty Boys Gone Wild time!
BATTLE(?) START (more happens after)

The customers are going wild over the three-way dance off! Obviously Barong is doing the best. Sarutahiko is fighting for his life, and Hei Long Yi Quan...
HLYQ: Oh nooo, I tripped again~. Guys, pick me up? ^3-
Randos: OMG WE STAN
Barong: Whoa, this is a whole new dimension of excited in here!
HLYQ: Well it's the difference between your normal stage and having multiple cameras. And I'm a pro at working those clever, innocent, and flirty angles!
Sarutahiko: !!
Sarutahiko: ...right, no need to compete the same ways.
HLYQ: You guys are great! I think I'm gonna get a whole new world of fans! Thanks for going with my surprise video performance, I'll pick you next time Sarutahiko! (hands Sarutahiko a ton of tips and heads over to the other team)
Barong: Nice he likes you, whoever he is!
Sarutahiko: Uh, I didn't really want customers or tips tho.

Later
Hei Long Yi Quan: ...oh, you came to walk me over? Did you want to be my Master too? ...kidding.
Sarutahiko is surprised!
HLYQ: I bet you're worried about the other host team that's been getting talked about. It's alright! Everyone worries about getting blasted in reviews and stuff, but at least I won't. But why are you asking me this now?
Sarutahiko: What? We're on different teams, but they're still basically my coworkers.
HLYQ: Oh. But weren't you worried about getting review bombed for trying to stop me?
Sarutahiko: oof okay that was wrong of me but I didn't think that far!
HLYQ: Hehe, sorry about teasing you. But you know what? No one knows how things might turn out tomorrow. You might end up being the sole survivor of a shipwreck. Ask me how I know.
Sarutahiko: !!
HLYQ's phone rings. Streamer friend message alert!
End of Episode part

Live A Hero Summer Survival Island Episode 3 (Abridged)

Rewind!
Este Bolta's beach area
Kirsch: Huh. Where's MC and the others?
Lilac: They called and said they're coming over, so they should be fine.
Pubraseer: I texted them that we'll wait for the next boat so they got time, but they haven't actually read it yet. Maybe they're rushing...?
Gorou: Eh, Isaribi's with them and he knows the place. Wanna drink with me in the meantime, Pubraseer?
Pubraseer: Sounds nice, but I may as well wait for them to get here.
Gorou: Aww...huh?
Gorou: !!
Lilac: What? ...the news?
Gorou: Muirauqa IV local news. They text when something happens, and apparently they picked up a speeding ship on radar? Summer vacation brings the dummies.
Kirsch: Oh my god what if MC and the guys are on that boat? Kidding.
Pubraseer: Heh, it could happen.
Kirsch: Pffft, no way.

Speeding ship
MC: OH MY GOOOOD
Sadayoshi: MC, don't let go!
Zaniah: Nooo, someone stop this crazy thing!
Ship's gone pretty far from Este Bolta now.
Yuhang: What kind of dumb broad whips an engin--WHOA
Isaribi: W-wait, someone's inside! Maybe they can help, whoever it is! GUYS, Y'ALL GET--
Isaribi rolls into the ship! There's two total strangers inside knocked out!
Isaribi: Whomst???
Yuhang: Isaribi, we're on a crash course to an islaaaand!
Isaribi: OH NO
Yuhang: Are we gonna get sashimi'd!?
Isaribi: Like hell I am!
Sadayoshi: By the way who are those people?
Isaribi: Dunno!

Island incoming!
MC: goodbye cruel world / we gotta jump!
---
(A) Sadayoshi: MC, get a grip! Hold onto me!
(B) Sadayoshi: Right! But there's only ocean around us, so hold onto me!
---
Sadayoshi hugs MC with both arms!
Isaribi: I'll grab the two whos!
Yuhang: Zaniah or whatever? You gotta jump too!
Zaniah: Nooo, my ship! My MONEEEEY!
Yuhang drags Zaniah away from the system panel or whatever!
Isaribi: NOW!
The party jumps off the ship! And then the ship manages to crash into the only building on the island.

Title Card: I'm Not Saying Goodbye

Isaribi: Everybody okay!?
Isaribi manages to swim to shore carrying those two whoevers! Yuhang comes next and lets go of Zaniah's neck. Then finally Sadayoshi carrying MC.
MC: oof I thought I was gonna die / oh god land ho / We're okay!
Sadayoshi: MC are you okay? I could have given you my floatie ring if the cruiser speeding off didn't make me lose it.
Isaribi: Welp. Yuhang, you good?
Yuhang: Yeah. Girl's out cold tho... she swallowed water when we jumped, so we might need to thump it out.
Sadayoshi: Hmm... she still seems to be breathing, so she should wake in time.
Isaribi: Oh, so we all good. Where are we though? (looks around)
???: (wakes up) AH! Uh, where are... Lady--
???: Z-Zanini... ah!?
Surprised party!
MC: whomst. W-wait!

Strangers A and B run up to Zaniah, looking horrified!
Isaribi: Girl's fine and should wake up soon. Who you guys?
???: Y-you guys fought Zanini but then saved her?
Fan 1: Uhh, we're Zaniah's Fans 1 and 2. Please don't mistreat her.
Fan 2: Fans? Well...I guess we're like family. I'll kick your asses if you try to rough up Milady!
Fan 1: If Zanini's waking up soon, we should bail before she sees us here...please don't tell her we're here.
Fan 2: Kind of annoying to ask favors of the people who fought her but...yeah, I'm asking too please.
Isaribi: W-wait we don't even know where--
Fans 1 and 2: KTHANKSBYE (run off)
MC: What. They don't seem dangerous, but still. Hmm...

Sadayoshi: Hmm...they're suspicious too if they're a villain's family, but I'm not sure it's fine to leave them unsupervised on unknown territory.
Yuhang: Eh, they don't seem to be villains either if they didn't attack. And they're bold enough to follow a villain they were worried about.
Yuhang points at Zaniah. Zaniah starts twitching.
Zaniah: O-oof, I'm alive!
Isaribi: Oh you're up. Ya swallowed some water so--wait, hold up!
Zaniah: Shut up! MY SHIP!
Zaniah looks at where the ship crashed. It blows up and tosses a screw over to where she is! Whomp whomp.
Zaniah: M-my ship... (Zaniah.exe has crashed)
Sadayoshi: Well then.
Isaribi: Umm...y-you good, girl? There weren't any tour people on, so I guess it really was yours?
No response.

Yuhang: (...this is all our fault, huh?)
Sadayoshi: (W-well...she's not faultless either but...)
MC: (...it sorta is our fault to start with, I guess?)
Sadayoshi: ...hm. Please be careful MC. I sense someone else in the bushes.
Giansar shows up!
Giansar: Goddammit what the hell just happened!? ...no one's come yet, so I better bail to another planet soo--
MC: Wait what, Giansar!? Why!? / Yoooo, how's it been?
(AB) Giansar: What!? MC!?
(C) Giansar: Sup...is that what you expected me to say!? Dammit, it's you MC!?

Giansar: Are those heroes with you? Dammit, did you somehow manage to figure out my location!?
MC: Um / Surprise! / Giansar, where are we?
(AC) Sadayoshi: MC, do you know him? He doesn't seem to like you.
Isaribi: Damn, you THAT famous?
MC: Uh, he's a villain I fought once.
Surprised party!
(B) Isaribi: w-wait, what
MC: I've been looking for your villainous ass, Giansar!
Giansar: >:C
Isaribi: Oh my god? We just randomly crashed here and you're already planning an arrest??? Awesome!
Giansar: !?
Giansar: Oh, a bluff.
Yuhang: ...Isaribi I think you just snitched.
Isaribi: W-what, I wasn't supposed to say that!?

Giansar: Goddammit...
Giansar looks so done with this.
MC: Are you still up to villainy even after your big perfect plan blew up?
Flashback!
Giansar: ...I still hate heroes, including you guys, but I had a little fun here. See you guys probably never.
Present
MC: And here we are again!
Giansar: little bITCH
Isaribi: Holy crap, MC stop taunting the villain!
Giansar: Ugh forget how you guys got here, I gotta go!
Giansar tries to leave.
Sadayoshi: ...so you're a villain MC had to cross blades with? Then there is only one thing to do! (charges Giansar)
Yuhang: Dang, and he's still unarmed.
Giansar: WHAT
Sadayoshi: Surrender!
Giansar: oh fml
Giansar taps his phone and transforms!

Isaribi: W-what!? It's 3v1 here!
Yuhang: Wait, I'm in? Well okay then.
Giansar: (...so that girl back there isn't with them?)
Giansar: Whatever, you attacked first!
Giansar jumps back, Parallel Weapon in hand!
Sadayoshi: Stand down and you won't be hurt. Though I doubt you'll comply.
Sadayoshi clicks on his phone, and MC's phone starts ringing! Transformation request incoming!
MC: Let's question him! / I'll be gentle when I tie you up!
Party's transformed!
MC: ...okay, stream's on! We can go!
Giansar: (They got connected!? ...wait, even if they could, they can't reach the outside to do anything besides stream. I can still shut them up!)

Everyone's squaring up when Zaniah comes over!
Zaniah: How dare...how DARE! MY SHIP!
Isaribi: N-now hold up! Okay we were wrong for getting on, but dammit, it's your fault the ship's blown up!
Zaniah: Dammit, I know! But I still can't just back down here! Transform me!
Zaniah suits up!
Yuhang: ...shouldn't you pick your fights better?
Giansar: Huh. Well whatever, I'mma leave now--
Sadayoshi: Are you prepared to face your crimes? Very well.
Giansar: uggggh
MC: Uhh...t-time to fight! Get ready guys!
Yuhang: Mkay, we're all in the same crashed ship and everything.
Zaniah: HOW DARE
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Zaniah: Nooo...
Giansar: Goddammit why me too...
The rest of the party wipes off their sweat.
Yuhang: Dang you two are strong.
Sadayoshi: We had an easier time winning since they kept getting in each other's ways.
Isaribi: Welp! Sorry we can't leave y'all unsupervised!
Isaribi and Sadayoshi pin Giansar and Zaniah down, then MC closes the party's transformations.
Yuhang: Oof, I wanna get back to that island tour we were gonna go on...
Sadayoshi: I understand but we have no ship to take us back.
Isaribi: Yeah, and where even are we? I ain't never seen this place before.
MC: Really? Giansar, where are we?

Giansar: ...wait, you dicks really came here blind? Why ARE you guys on this deserted island on the ass end of nowhere?
MC: w-wait what
Zaniah: Because these four barged onto MY SHIP! Don't think I'm ever forgetting your names!
Sadayoshi: O-okay, but you attacked first.
Isaribi: Y-yeah our bad for getting on the wrong ship. We were gonna go on a boat tour.
Sadayoshi: And somehow we got on a villain's ship instead...
Yuhang: Then Zaniah pulls up crying and screaming and ends up whipping the engine on. Girl those speeds are illegal!
Zaniah: It's your fault my ship blew up!
MC: So then the ship just drove off, crashed into the building on this island, and now here we are.

Giansar: (closes eyes and inhales)
Giansar: Welp. Worst case scenario.
Zaniah: Hey! It's the worst case scenario for ME! I'm just some passing phantom thief!
Isaribi: w-what
Giansar: Hey, I'm a victim too. I was just chilling in my safehouse. (looks at burning wreckage)
Isaribi: O-okay so maybe you were...
Giansar: Forget that, you guys owe me a settlement for property destruction.
Zaniah: Oh, and the money for my ship getting totaled!
Giansar: What, does heroism allow vandalism these days or something?
Zaniah: HMMM, not very heroic!
Giansar: And now you wanna ask favors? Hellll to the no.
Zaniah: I know right? We're victims!
Giansar and Zaniah: Now let us go!
Surprised party!
MC: W-whoa...wow they actually get along...

Isaribi: O-okay fine, you guys are victims here!
Sadayoshi: I don't think we necessarily need to care since they're villains...
Yuhang: But we still need to listen to them since we don't know where we are.
Sadayoshi: But...
Isaribi: Well what if we make it conditional? They agree not to attack or run off, and we can untie them. Then we can get to talking.
Giansar: Then you also have to promise not to arrest me until after we get out.
Yuhang: I guess that's fine. We're on a deserted island, so there shouldn't be any danger.
Isaribi: And they aren't in the middle of doin' crimes, so we can just call the police on them later I guess.
Sadayoshi: ...well if you two are going that far, I suppose...
Sadayoshi reluctantly takes off the bindings and puts them inside his phone.

Zaniah: GOD finally! This wouldn't be the end of it normally!
Giansar: ...ugh. Well anyways to recap, this island is deserted which is why I made a safehouse here to begin with. Comm lines should be up, but those are my private network that only streams to underground peeps. I got jamming up to stop connections besides streaming.
MC: Oh no that's right! Streaming's the only thing that works!?
MC fiddles with their phone, but it keeps saying "out of service area."
Yuhang: Huh, mine's not working either.
Sadayoshi: What? Turn off the jamming now then.
Giansar: I can't, you guys blew up my base.
Sadayoshi glares, then looks at the smoking wreckage.
Giansar: We can't get close like that, and I can't go fixing it. Either it all crashes, or we wait until the backup power dies. If MC can use VP, then the comm locks must've bugged out...ugh fine, I'll let you into the lines for now.
Zaniah: Wait, I can't connect to Anonymous then!? Then how...
Giansar: You must've jumped my comm lines like MC did somehow. Ugh.
Isaribi: S-so, that means we can stream but can't call for help?
Giansar: ...no one watching does that, so we can't expect them to help.
Sadayoshi: And we have no ship now...
MC: So we'd have to swim...? Wait, Isaribi!

Isaribi: W-wait. I could swim off the ship to here, but the currents around this island are too fast. (sighs and looks off to sea)
Isaribi: MAYBE under ideal circumstances, but not even I can carry y'all alone. We don't even know where and how far it is to the closest landfall.
Giansar: The currents are huge, so most ships don't come near here. Which was why I put a base here.
Isaribi: ...wait, is this the Dead Area? Fishermen don't go near there.
Giansar: Yeah. Also, even if a ship came by, there's jamming to stop sonar pings from finding this place.
Sadayoshi: So you ARE hiding something!
Giansar: Never mind that now! We are goddamn SHIPWRECKED!
Shocked party!
MC: Oh no!

Zaniah: That can't be! I just came here to look for treasu--
Isaribi: what
Zaniah: NOTHING! Anyways, waiting for help isn't an option then.
Yuhang: Yeah. I guess I can go looking for food here though.
Giansar: Do you not get how serious this is...?
Sadayoshi: Hmm, so we need to find some way to escape...
Everyone thinks about the situation. Giansar fiddles with his phone and sighs.
Giansar: (Okay it SUCKS MC and the others are here, but they don't seem to know about my work. I can't get away if their side's help comes, so I'd have to bail first, especially while I can still move...)
Giansar: UGH I gotta stop thinking about that! Whatever, I gotta get off this island.
MC: So Giansar, can we come too?
Giansar: ...why?
MC: Um, I heard you earlier.
Flashback!
Giansar: Goddammit what the hell just happened!? ...no one's come yet, so I better bail to another planet soo--

Present
Sadayoshi: Wait...doesn't that mean--
MC: You have a ship out of here, right? You had to have one to get here before. Come on, we're all friends stuck in the same boat~
Giansar looks Very Displeased. He pulls out a weapon for a bit and considers using it before putting it away, concerned it'll get taken.
Giansar: UGGGGH this is coercion! ...fine...I'm outnumbered anyway.
MC: (Not the plan, but poker face!) / (Oh he said yes!)
Zaniah: Wait, you have a ship? So we AREN'T stranded. Ugh, all that stress for nothing.
Giansar: I never said you could come.
Zaniah: Oh come on, we're both on the wrong side of a beatdown and got tied up!
Giansar: Is that really how you ask anyone for a favor?
Zaniah: Oh fiiine. I mean, please let me board.
Yuhang: Huh. So we're partying together 'til we get out?
Sadayoshi: It's more monitoring of them so they don't escape.
Giansar: Whatever, just until we get off this damn rock. Shut up and follow me, ugggh.
Isaribi: Man you sure bitch a lot. Oh well, thanks for lettin' us onboard!
MC: Emergency times, cease fire until we get back.
Giansar leads the party off. Sadayoshi brings up the rear.
Sadayoshi: ...I can't believe we have to work with a villain. (kicks sand)

Later
The party follows Giansar to some inlet.
Giansar: It's in there. (nods towards inlet)
Zaniah: Huh. Nice hiding spot.
Giansar: Well yeah, it's for emergencies.
MC: Oh, so this is the sort of place you hide things in.
Giansar: Heh, it's not like I pull the same thing all the time, so showing this one isn't a huge deal.
Sadayoshi: How dare!
Yuhang: ...aiyah? Hey guys?
Giansar: Shove your hero act up your ass and sit there if you don't wanna come. See if I care how long it takes to get help.
Yuhang: Guys?
Sadayoshi: What!? I was extending some grace because you said you wouldn't cause any more harm, but I have no reason to go easy on you.
Yuhang: Guuuys!
Sadayoshi and Giansar: WHAT?

Yuhang: I think there's a Monster eating the ship.
Yuhang points at a Shark Monster chewing on the engine portion of Giansar's ship!
Isaribi: what
Zaniah: w-wha
Sadaysohi and Giansar: WHAT
MC: Oh no!
Sadayoshi: MC, transform us so we can eliminate it!
Giansar: Okay it's a goddamn emergency! MC, transform me!
Zaniah: Alright, bring it freak!
MC: Wait hold up the contracts are coming in all at once!
MC is trying to process everything... The party transforms...
Isaribi: Okay, I got this fish freak captain!
The Shark Monster pulled out Giansar's ship engine!
Giansar: W-wait!
The Shark Monster runs away and turns invisible!
Giansar: GET BACK HERE GODDAMMIT
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 2 Part 2 (Abridged)

Oscar: You ever see those guys who play whatever role and always end up being themselves? Barong's one of them. You can ask him to be anything and he'll put his all on stage. So what his customers want is him himself! Do you think you can live without ever hiding anything? Not me! Don't try too hard, but I won't stop you from tipping god if you want to.
Narration Zone
Barong: I'm dancing again, putting my whole self up there. The blood rush makes me feel alive as I feel every little sensation of the show. And then I start trancing out as I feel myself blur with everyone and everything. Apparently most people never felt that, so I want them too! It's that one moment when I feel like I'm a customer's God.

Present
The Summer Host bar is doing well so far. Team Y'golonac was winning at first, but now...
Bael: Barong stole the lead singlehandedly.
Y'golonac: Why'd he gotta be on HIS team?
Y'golonac looks at Barong. Barong is entertaining people.
Barong: Hey how about I take your tip from your mouth?
Guy A: YES DADDY
No touching, but customers still get the fantasy of having Barong to themselves.
Barong: Uh-uh, no looking away now. 'til next time!
Barong winks and leaves Guy A to collapse while going to his next table!
Guy B: Me next! I've been your fan since your hotel manager days!
Barong: Aww thanks! (keeps dancing)
Y'golonac: how in hell has he not stopped dancing for a whole hour now?
MC: He seems to be having fun / Wow he really likes dancing / can I be one of his customers?
(C) Y'golonac: No baby. You want dancin', you got me in jazzercise at home.
Y'golonac jiggles in place. He jiggles everywhere.

Shino: He can't keep that up forever.
Y'golonac: Nah, boy actually might. Like what if he just fall over like it naptime for tired baby?
Perun: Hmm... what if we got him into our team?
Bael: That may not be necessary. Look, his teammates are worried about him too.
Tetsugyuu: Dude, Barong, maybe you should stop? What if you feel it tomorrow?
Barong: Who cares about tomorrow? Gotta make the customers excited! Dance with me?
Tetsugyuu: Um... you think I'll help the team better if I learn to dance?
Barong: Sure! You too, Sarutahiko!
Sarutahiko: Nah, bro.
Barong: Come onnn, you never know!
Bael: ...my super elite brain can't tell when he'll stop.
Perun: New plan, we conquer and steal his Performance skills for ourselves.
Y'golonac: NOOOO
Perun: In the war of survival, take your enemies' strengths for yourself!
MC: Evil! / We gotta do better / Maybe I should practice with him

A mob walks up to Barong.
Governor A: Um, thank you for earlier Barong.
Barong: Oh hey you again! Couldn't forget me?
Governor A: No. Wait, yes? Um, could you go on break and go on a date with me outside? (holds hand out)
Y'golonac: Damn, look at that bad boy gettin' all brave and askin' Barong for an off hours date. It's against the rules, so do it and go look bad!
Barong: Sorry, don't think I'm going on break today.
Governor A: You're going to keep dancing all day!?
Barong: Maybe? Maybe it'll hurt later, but I don't wanna stop the rhythm and the beat.
Governor A: Is it about money? I have money!
Barong: Nah, I dance because it's the only way I know how to be myself.
The mob seems genuinely upset. Even Barong notices.
MC: Damn / So pro / omg he actually said no!?
Y'golonac: Boo!
Bael: Stop thinking about that and start thinking about how to win!
Mobs: Y'golonac, when you coming back?
Y'golonac: Oh, right! I'mma come right now babies!
Everyone goes back to their tables. Barong keeps dancing.

Later
Barong: Okay Tsukuyomi I'm starting to feel it, can I take a break?
Tsukuyomi: Sure, you've been overdoing it.
Barong: Thanks, tell my kitties I'll be back soon!
MC: I guess he really is tired... does he seem off somehow?
Tsukuyomi: ...hey MC, how about we go on break together? We've been at it all day.
Beach
Barong's getting a lot of attention.
Barong: La la la~
He's still dancing.
MC: (clap) You sure are having fun. / Aren't you on break?
(AB) Barong: Whoa, MC? You could've told me if you wanted to go on break together.
(C) Barong: Ha, dancing doesn't tire me. Dancing is life!

Barong: Hey, let's dance MC! I'll lead!
MC: wait what / just a bit then / okay!
Barong takes MC's hand and starts humming, then takes MC into a ball dance.
MC: hey this is pretty nice!
Barong: Haha, you can keep going huh? How about we step it up?
Barong starts a faster tempo song but easily leads MC through the faster steps.
Barong: Whoo, hang on tight MC!
Barong holds onto MC and spins!
MC: OH MY GOD / (throw your arms and legs out and pose) / Yeaaah!
More people start watching, so Barong shows off more.

Later
Barong: Finale time! Don't worry, I'll catch you.
Barong throws MC up and the two pose to roaring applause!
MC: Thanks people! / whoo, sweaty! / tireeed
Barong: That was awesome! We were vibing that second half. We better stop though before we go back tired.
People want to give money, but Barong politely declines. Barong then sits down and gestures MC to sit next to him.
Barong: That was fun! I wonder if it's okay to have every day be that fun.
MC: If you had fun, it's good / Let's dance again sometime / I'm so dead tomorrow
Barong: I would've danced forever if that was gonna be the best dance ever. It was good for a stage, but for an opera it--
MC: ...Barong?

Barong: ...oh, no. Just thinking I didn't sound like myself. But what does that even mean?
Barong goes all out on every show because there's on guarantee of a next one. It's not like he'll live forever. Barong looks at MC.
Barong: Can I ask you something? When you see me dancing...what do you feel?
MC: It's awesome / like 'omg?' / (404 vocabulary not found)
---
(AB) Barong: Haha, as long as you enjoy it.
(C) Barong: Ha, nice. But I can do better.
---
Barong: I dance to make people happy, so if they get happy it's all good. But then sometimes people look at me all sad. But why though? Oscar said don't mind, but...
Hmm, break's been on for a while.
Barong: ...MC, can you stick around longer to hear me out?

There are people who come to Barong's shows because they want to feel special, but the audience who talks to Barong always get this answer:
Barong: Sorry, I can't. But tonight's show was definitely just for you.
Barong (narrating): Everyone who wants to keep me for themselves fall apart, so Oscar said telling them that was for the best. He also said I'm only a fitting partner for God. But rather than smile like I want them to, those audience members frown. I just be myself, but people want someone more than I am. Or themselves. One of the two.
Present
Barong: That happened today too. People came to talk to me, but looked sad when they left.
Barong lies down on the sand, wondering if his team is mad at him.
Barong: This is the only way I know how to light up my life. But people say it's sad how cheaply I dance. I think it's fun and awesome though. What do you think, MC? Am I realistic?
MC: No, but it's nice you've got conviction / Yes, but let people dream / No, but I get how your customers feel
(C) Barong: Huh. What's that mean?

Barong seems to feel better at MC's response. Sarutahiko barges into the conversation!
Sarutahiko: Eh, I think you don't need to worry about it.
Barong: Wait, you're on break now too!? There'd only be two of us left then!
Sarutahiko: Nah, I was sent to make sure you didn't fall into a plot hole. Damn you sandy. How about I fix you up?
Sarutahiko sits down to clean Barong.
Sarutahiko: So like, I know this one dancer girl WHO TOTALLY AIN'T MY WIFE who's good at lying to herself. Customers go away not totally happy all the time. Making people have fun ain't everything in life.
Barong: !?
Sarutahiko: I mean, we all have things we don't understand in other people, especially if we believe in different things. So not everyone can understand when you want to live life on your own terms.
Barong seems unhappy.

Sarutahiko: Heh, you don't believe me because we believe in different things. In that case, you gotta get a little closer.
Barong: But I go all out in dancing!
Sarutahiko: Not like that, geez. I'm saying the guys who talk to you get you on some level, some of which knew you'd turn them down. But they just wanted to say you were cool, not ask you to change. Like, maybe that's good enough. If they say they don't get you at all, then just talk it out.
Barong doesn't seem to get it.
Barong: what
Sarutahiko: Dammit I have to spell it out!? You may like whoring yourself up to bits, but some people may just like wanting to do something for you!
MC: You didn't get that!? / are you really getting anything? / what
Sarutahiko: I'm saying you can answer folks after you figure out how they feel. If you don't want them to be sad, try getting closer?
Barong: But I'll stay the same as I am...
Sarutahiko: Figures...
MC: Maybe tell them what makes you happy, Barong?
Sarutahiko: Maybe? Not that that'll be easy...
Barong: MC, wait that's it!

Later
MC, Barong, and Sarutahiko get back to the beach bar.
Tetsugyuu: Finally! What happened to you two?
Barong: Oops! MC and I were dancing on the beach.
Tetsugyuu: Why bother going outside if you were gonna do that!?
Y'golonac: Hey thanks MC! We started catchin' up with you keepin' Barong busy out there!
MC: That wasn't my plan... / what have you been doing / (evil thumbs up)
Tsukuyomi: Now now, the day isn't over yet. Barong, you good to go?
Barong: Yep!

Night
Everyone gets together around the stage. Who made number one today?
Ophion: Good work everyone, thank you for proving me right. And now for the big announcement!
Everyone present gets excited!
Ophion: Today's number one host is...Barong!
Lots of confetti and cheering as Barong goes up!
Barong: Thanks you guys!
More cheering! Barong waves!
Ophion: Okay now, I hear the number one of the day gets to pick the song we end the day with apparently.
Barong: Oh, right, that. I was thinking I'd dance instead of sing. I know it's a break from tradition, but I hope you guys join me! Get the music started! Anyone who wants in, get up here!
MC: Me! / Congrats! / (look for someone to dance with)

Bael: Dancing? I'll show you how a high society member dances!
Tetsugyuu: Are you talkin' about Boss!? Me first!
Shino: Want! ...no wait, do not want! Actually, yes! No, wait...
Tsukuyomi: You guys we are still on the clock here.
Customers are whispering loudly.
Livestreamer A: OMG Shino's going for it! He's really going for it, Shino and his tragic Beauty and the Beast OTP 5ever!
Guy B: Naw, it's Tetsugyuu ftw! The Boss/Minion ship that goes down together in that super messed up way!
Girl C: Nah, it's the "I can fix him" ship with Bael!
Tsukuyomi: ...well okay then! That happens too. In which case, you have to pick Big Brother, MC.
Tsukuyomi grabs MC's hand and winks at the nearby mobs.
Mobs: OMG WE STAN

Perun looks mad and chugs a drink.
Sarutahiko: Aren't you gonna dance, Perun? I figured you were gonna charge MC straight away.
Perun: Pah! Me? The emperor? Dance?
Sarutahiko: I mean if that's what you really want, but I think you actually want in.
Perun: Out of my sight before they start dancing, washboy!
Sarutahiko: (holds out hand) Heh, fine I'll drag you over. I know how to guide hardheads like you, but not as well as Uzume can.
Perun: F-fine, I shall graciously allow this!
Sarutahiko: Yeah sure whatever. Hey you guys!
Bael: How dare they get in the way!

It's time for the MC Bowl again!
Y'golonac: Back off Tsukuyomi, you ain't even on this team! Come on y'all, gotta cheer for Barong! (hands out confetti and drink guns) It SUCKS he won number one today, but we gotta congratulate him as parta the game!
MC: Wow, you DO have a good side Y'golonac! We got this!
Y'golonac: Count o' three y'all! Aim real good!
MC: wait what
Y'golonac: Gwehehe, I supermodded them drink and confetti guns in case this happened.
Bael: I like how you think. Knock the number one off his perch and take his spot for ourselves!
Y'golonac: You know it! Get 'im boys!
MC: NO WAIT STOP / YEAAAHHHH
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Y'golonac: Wait why didn't Barong react!?
Perun: Impressive!
Barong: Thanks everybody!
Barong shrugged off everything and goes to dance with people! Everyone he dances with looks happy!
Barong: Next! Oh, you.
It's one of Barong's regular customers.
Barong: I'm glad you came, 'cause there's something I want to let you know! Look, everyone is watching us. Not bad huh? The lights, the cheers, the attention, I love it so much I've never thought of leaving the stage. I'm happy you like me, but that's why I turned you down. But I got one little thing I wanna ask. Come see me again where I'm happy on stage!
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 3 Part 3 (Abridged)

Once upon a time when Bael had fallen to the level of a demon, he was made #1 on the hierarchy of the All-Knowing King. Bael is proud of what he remembers of this. At the time it was the most competitive, revolutionary, whatever Karen's evolutionary thesis System around. It could get you somewhere further than Eden and Gehenna could if you were picked as the top! And that's probably why Bael started caring about the position of number one so much.
When Bael came to Tokyo, the king never showed up while the demons were put into a new, incomplete System. 24 worlds, 3 factions. Hmm, sounds like something the king would do. While the 23 Reps fought for the trophy, Bael went in for something else. He wanted to be the top of the next System to show his respect for the king. Nobody else mattered, he just wanted to be the king's number one.

Present
Astaroth: Good thing the golems weren't made to be that strong!
Bathym: Yeah it's nice kicking number one's ass like this.
Amduscias: Bathym, don't break them!
Amduscias punches out golems! The Ars Goetia demons smile and pretend like nothing is wrong!
Bathym: Dusy, do you see yourself here?
Sitri: Oh my god, Amduscias and Astaroth? So strong? I want that...
Ose: Grass greener and stuff. Like how they wish they were as cute as us.
Sitri: I'm not cute! You've got at will Transformation!

Bael G1: Wow Sitri, you've got time to talk in front of me in a fight?
Sitri: S-shut up, I'm working out still!
Ose: There's more ways of fighting than just brute force, you know.
Ose dodges the golems and taps them in the core!
Sitri: Oh my god teach me your ways!
Ose: Sure.
Bael G1: Why are you getting in our way!?
Astaroth: We're fighting for our lives!
Bael G1: MC, do you hate our service too!?
MC: Love it! / I'll get the real Bael to do that / Sorry...
---
(AB) The Bael golems seem to feel better about that.
---
The golems power down and things end without issue.

Later
Vapula: Thanks guys! Revaprogramming time!
One of the golems start talking.
Bael Golem: MC, I just wanted you to accept me...
He seems to be remorseful.
Later
Guy A: Oh wow, you're back?
Bael Golem: Yes, I was called away for...stuff. I'm back now, sorry about that.
Guy A: Oh okay. So are you the real Bael?
Bael Golem: You got me!
The Bael golems leave MC as directed and go back to serving other customers.
Astaroth: Okay whew, it worked out. Sorry you got mixed up in all that, MC.
MC: Was Bael always like that? / Yesss, doting Bael! / Thanks for helping.

Astaroth: Were you surprised by how Bael was?
Bathym: He hides it, but he's a big a stan as Lucifuge is. We all used to be a group where we were top class in our fields. Being proud of our spot was also being proud of our grouping. Too over your head? Well being in the second gen business model means we got our opinions on it.
Astaroth: MC, I know you're busy but...can you go look for the real Bael? He'd be happy if you found him.
MC: I doubt he'll show it / Okay, hint please! / Won't he get pissy?
(A) Astaroth: Heh, I guess. He can be surprisingly easy to read at times though.
(B) Astaroth: I think you already know. Somewhere quiet and away from here.
(C) Astaroth: He'll just pretend to be, promise.

Astaroth: You mean a lot to Bael. He admired who you used to be, and... (looks into the distance) Did you know Bael wants to be number one but never seems happy even when we agree to it? Kind of sad to admit, but I think the one he actually wants to accept that is you.
MC: All part of being a tsundere I guess. He's probably happy inside. / I don't think that's ME me.
---
(AB) Astaroth: Heh, you think? I hope so.
(C) Astaroth: Right, he might not be seeing the actual you just yet. But...
---
Astaroth: He's looking at your future and marketing an undefined possible self. I shouldn't say anything more though, you should ask him. Oh, one more thing. I don't think he's noticed himself, but his ears and tails twitch a little when you call him. Maybe try that.
MC: Okay / fiiine I guess / Ooh

Later
After the golem mess was dealt with, Bael went off to sit on the beach.
Bael: (on the phone) Yes, I haven't found anything so far. I'll call if I do...am I enjoying being a host and forgetting the job? Rude! This wasn't my idea!
Bael gets off the phone and starts staring at the wall in the distance.
Bael: ...good, nobody's come over to ask me to grant their wish.
MC: oh my god you're actually here? / Found you! / (play Guess Who?)
---
(AB) Bael: MC, why are you here!?
(C) Bael: ...MC, you're the only one who does anything this stupid.
---
Bael: Why did you come here when you could've won just by staying in the bar today?
MC: Pffft, you wanted me to come / Said the slacker / Coming over meant more
(AB) Bael: Hmph. Well now you fell into my trap. I never said I'd grant wishes for free. Sucks for you, giving up your chance at being number one today.
(C) Bael: Heh, did me granting a wish sound that good to you? I never said it'd be free.

Bael: Haha, you'd best not take a devil at face value...but I GUESS I could write up a contract for you.
Bael pushes up his glasses and looks away.
Bael: Astaroth put you up to this, didn't they?
MC: I have to thank them later / Pffft, softie / They're a good friend, don't forget that.
Bael: Today was their fault! I can't go saying I'm number one if I accepted help...
MC: Then why'd you go along with it? / Yeah you didn't seem to like the plan / Do you hate losing out on number one?
Bael: I just hated how that angel put you up on a pedestal when you should get there yourself. Heh, if you want to be number one, I can make that happen. I have some noblesse oblige to uphold if you have that much hope in me. It's actually kind of nice to be helped by the plebs.
Bael stands up and pats himself down.

Bael: Alright, I'll walk you back to the bar. It's about time I flexed what being number one meant to everyone. You'd best be careful of me stealing your heart.
MC: ...Bael.
Bael: (ears and tail twitches slightly) ...what?
MC: Congrats on being number one / Nothing / Wow your ears and tail DO twitch
(A) Bael: T-that's not for sure yet! You take the spot, or else! ...b-but if I do win, then thank you.
(B) Bael: WHAT? You can't just call my name so casually or...o-or else I'll get carried away, so please stop.
(C) Bael: ...I should punish you for your bluntness. You ought to keep quiet of these things.
And then Astaroth screams some time later when Bael gets back to the bar.

Later
Y'golonac: Good work, y'all! Because damn that really happened. Anyhoo, time for today's number one to come on up! (winks at Bael)
Astaroth: He's calling for you, Bael.
The other Ars Goetia demons clap. Everyone's seen Bael's management abilities today, just like how he handled being number one of 72 once.
Bael: I know. But before that...thank you.
Gasping demons! Then smirking demons.
Bathym: Tomorrow's forecast: flying pigs!
Sitri: Hey, you can thank me by tutoring me then.
Amduscias: Ooh, I'm gonna try my best too!
Vapula: You'll let the vaprogramming thing go then, right?
Bael: SHUT UP...but Astaroth, I guess your meddling does help sometimes.
Astaroth: ...heh, you're welcome!
Bael smiles at the demons for once instead of frowning!

Y'golonac: Damn, you actually have friends? Was that body double thing theirs?
Bael: Well of course a high class person like me has high class friends. Excuse me for taking number one before you.
Y'golonac: Ooh spicy baby. Well it's your spotlight so congrats man. Must be nice to have friends to show off too. I gotta do better too...
Bael notices Y'golonac looking at MC and Tsukuyomi. Then he looks at the Ars Goetians.
Bael: ...I was highly considering ditching you partway, but thank you for bringing me.
Y'golonac: Oh my god did being numbah one change you?
Bael: Maybe just for today.
Bael takes the mic on goes on stage.
Bael: Say my name, cheries!
Mobs and Ars Goetians: Bael!
Bael: Yes, thank you all! In honor of that, I'll pick a love song to sing tonight...
Bael prepares to sing, and everyone gives their full attention.
Later on, when the day is done, Bael walks alone on the beach. There's a message alert on his phone, and Bael responds by text.
Bael: No evidence discovered. Little risk of being discovered.
Bael stares at his text for a bit, then hits send.
End of Episode

Fabulous Summer Host Episode 3 Part 2 (Abridged)

Bael: ...your seat. This is the Bael Special☆Demon's Love.
Astaroth is pleased. Bael is very displeased.
Astaroth: Oh cheer up, Bael! How about a toast of this...Bael Special whatsit?
Bael: Don't repeat it! ugggggh this is why I never said anything to you, "Master" Astaroth.
Astaroth ordered the bar's most expensive bottle.
Astaroth: Sorry I came without telling you, but you'd never have said a word if I didn't, would you?
Bael: No. How'd you even know I was here?
Astaroth: You underestimate things a lot. I know how to do research too, you know. So when does the customer service part start?
Astaroth holds up a glass. Bael gives up and plays along.

Bael: Ahem. Thank you for choosing me, cherie. Careful, this devil's after your heart.
Astaroth: Wow! You could be number one anywhere.
Bael: Happy now? Please leave yesterday.
Astaroth: Hey, don't ruin the mood so quick!
Bael: ...why are you even here?
Astaroth: Not to tease if that's what you're worried about. I We came to cheer you on.
More of the Ars Goetia demons show up!
Sitri: I got peer pressured into coming...
Bathym: Hey BaeBae, pour one out for me! Sorry if I steal all your customers!
Vapula: It's vaparticularly busy here I see. And the interior setup is--oh wait never mind.
Amduscias: I'm here again!
Bael: but why tho, I don't even want to be number one host. Door's that way, thank you.
The demons are confused.

Astaroth: Bael do you have sunstroke?
Bael: What, you think I want to be number one in EVERYTHING?
The demons are vibing.
Bael: When I say I want to be number one, I want to be number one in absolute power! Not some trifling bar host! And you think I would stoop to calling you all for help?
Bathym: Aww...oh well, wanna check the place out, Sitri?
Vapula: Aww, but I vaprepared so hard for this!
Astaroth: Bael, wait please!
Oh look who else is here.
Michael: I heard Big Brother is here! I'm going to help him better than anyone else pretending to be his family!

Later
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi are sitting together.
MC: hELP??? / What would you like to drink?
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi: One of your best bottles.
Cat: Right away!
Lots of cheering! Except for the Cold War going on at the table.
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi: ...sibling-in-law.
MC: Oh god couldn't you guys come on different days? / WELP / Thank you very much☆
Amaterasu, Michael, and Fuxi: >:C
Fuxi: SIIIISTER! Make it two bottles!
Micheal: BIG BROOOOTHER! Three bottles!
Amaterasu: F-four bottles then! Mommy Big Sis will help you!
MC: But the price tag?? / Nooo don't fight over me~ / Thanks, love ya☆
Amaterasu: Is this what you and Smoky God do for socializing? It's okay, I know my finances.
Fuxi: Hmm, he's been gone since the staff called him away. It's okay, I won't flout the rules.
Michael: You'll always be my number one!
Amaterasu and Fuxi: NO ME

Meanwhile
The Ars Goetia demons are watching MC and Michael.
Bael: Change of plans. Help me out as your boss!
Bathym: Uh okay but why the change of heart?
Bael: Isn't it obvious? We're putting that bratty little angel in his place! MC is OUR number one, not his and not anyone else's!
Amduscias: are you telling us to fight him or something
Bael: No, make ME today's number one host. We will beat MC and the World Reps!
Astaroth: Now that's the Bael I know!
Bael: Astaroth, battle plans!
The Ars Goetia demons smile at seeing Bael back to normal.
Sitri: So like, don't base your plans on my wing feathers, okay?
Astaroth: I know. We have our own way of doing things. Vapula?
Vapula: Got it! I'm so glad my vapreparations aren't going to waste!
And so the Ars Goetia demons leave the bar for a bit.

Later
Three more Baels!
Bael: EXCUSE ME? Are these your golems, Vapula!?
Astaroth: Correct! You like corrupting people one on one, but there's still only one of you, right? So what if there was more of you? Look, we made them and they'll be just like you! Okay, serve me "Bael."
Bael Golem 1 starts acting like Bael.
Bael G1: Understood. I swear upon my soul to love you, cherie. Now kiss--
Vapula: NOOO why did he do that!?
Bael: ...and how was he like me? (pinches cheeks)
Astaroth: Ow! Please, what's wrong with a little originality?
Bael: So there's more than portrayal infringement to talk about! But seriously how'd you manage to make so many clones and clothes for them so fast?
Bael: (thinks) ...oh right. Amduscias was here yesterday.

The Bael golems blow off their suits down to swimsuits!
Bael: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? ...okay fine, maybe it'll help me be number one today. But first, quality check!
Bael goes up to a golem.
Bael G1: You make me want to kill myself for yo--(punched)
Bael G2: I wuv you so mu--(punched)
Bael G3: STEP ON ME MA CHERI--(punched)
Vapula: Noooo, my babies! Baeby Daddy what are you doing!?
Bael: SHUT UP. Who even programed these things!?
Vapula, Astaroth, and Amduscias look away and whistle.

Vapula: Maybe I shouldn't have vaprogrammed them with doujin lines.
Amduscias: I thought fans like that these days...
Bael: ...okay fine, I'm not very host-like, whatever. Vapula, fix their damned programming. It can even just be how I normally am.
Bael quickly fixes up the golems.
Bathym: So what do we even do?
Vapula: Eh, just watch them after I vaput them under your commands.
Bael: ...wait there's only three of them, though.
Vapula: Oh right I forgot to mention! I made 48, so I'll vaput 12 of them to each person! The vaplan was originally 72, but resource issues.
Bael: Were you trying to go to war or something?
Astaroth: Well in your case, that wouldn't have to be entirely wrong.

Later
Cat: Your drink towers!
Champagne pyramids get put up!
MC: omg / For me? Ooh~ / Eeee ♡
Fuxi: So, how's your wallet doing?
The World Reps are playing poker. Or maybe it's just metaphorical.
Michael: Pfft, running out of steam already?
Amaterasu: MC, let's drink my order together.
The temp staff parts ways as Bael struts up!
Bael: Excuse me. I've come to declare war, MC!
MC: WHAT / but why tho / bold move
Michael: Bael? You think you can win?
Bael: Indeed. Behold!
Bael golems walk up and pose!
MC: WHAT / did you go off the deep end? / Gimme one!
(A) Bael: Surprised? Winning's not so crazy a dream now, eh?
(B) Bael: Please don't ask. I can be formidable if I flout the rules of war!
(C) Bael: ...no, get one yourself.

Bael: Do it!
...
Astaroth: Bael 1, pour me a drink. Bael 2, feed me fruit please.
Bael: HELP ME OR GO HOME!
Astaroth: Sorry, I didn't think this could happen again so I just started doing in without thinking... Oh, but everything should be going to plan.
Elsewhere
So many Bael golems!
Y'golonac: OH MY GOD Bael are you a ninja or sum shit!?
Perun: Interesting! Give me one to use!
Bael G1: Bold of you when I WE are going to be number one today.

Suddenly!
Bathym: Hey you guys, sudden special event now! Wondering who I am? Details!
Sitri: Kind of important detail, yeah. Not every day some rando starts yelling at you.
Bathym: ...oh fine, let's just say I'm a friend of the devil host.
Bael golems go "Not really!"
Bathym: Well he's my rival as the number one top familiar of this one lord, but I do sympathize with him in admiring the number one. So anyways, we're doing a "Guess the Real Bael" game! Get tipping, get your wishes granted!
The customers start getting hyped over getting wishes granted by a demon!
Amduscias: Wow. It's okay people, there's still a lot of the BEL48!
Barong: Whoa, you're here again Amduscias?
Amduscias: Senpai! Sorry, I'm here for Bael today...
Barong: It's cool!
Amduscias thinks about how he admires Barong and how Barong is never jealous or negative. Amduscias starts getting negative...
Amduscias: Come at us, bro!
Barong seems a little surprised but smiles. Customers are asking for Bael!

Bael Golem: Now now, no need to rush.
Michael: I see. You seem a little different.
Fuxi: Heh. Pull whatever trick you want, it won't work on us World Reps.
Amaterasu: A bigger champagne tower please!
Y'golonac: (walks over) Okay hol' up a sec. Y'all can pay, right?
Fuxi: Of course! I--oh.
Fuxi has no money left on him. Neither does Michael and Amaterasu.
Y'golonac: Y'all never checked the price list, huh? We ain't doin' tabs today so...
Y'golonac kicks out the World Reps!
Fuxi: How DARE you discount my Golden Rule! I can win all the money for my SIIIISTER!
Amaterasu: Bad luck for us, I suppose. I can't believe Smoky God has the advantage here!
Michael: Fine, I'll just come back another day!
MC: Welp / Nooo, my sales!

Bael Golem: Heh, I'm going to win today!
Ose: Don't expect Smoky God to save you today, I just sent him back. And now I'm here, fashionably late.
MC: Oh god you're all against me! / Yay, Ose!
---
(C) Ose: Hey, I wanted to see you too. I didn't think I'd be able to make it in time after stopping Smoky God.
---
Bael Golem: Well done, especially since normal methods shouldn't work on him.
Ose: Yeah, I tried. It didn't. But somehow talking did, and he gave me a message for MC. It says "I'll see you again at the Night Pool."
Bael Golem: I win! Now, why don't you pick me, MC? My real self will legit grant you your wishes. It's me, I'm the real self.
MC: YES PLEASE! / You look like him, but Bael isn't this open.
(A) Ose: Whoa you're easy. A real devil's gonna catch you one day.
Bael Golem: Shut up, Ose!
(BC) Bael Golem: Ha, you know me so well!

Ose: Bael, go talk to someone else. I'll take care of MC...I mean, you can be my host, right MC?
Bael Golem: No, MC's mine. (snaps fingers)
Bael Golems surround MC!
MC: Oh no! / Omg yes!
The Bael Golems put MC in a nice chair and get ready to serve!
Bael G1: Can you actually figure which one is real? I'm curious about that. Also I lied about being the real Bael.
Bael G2: No wait, I'm real.
Bael G3: I got you fruit, MC. Say ahh?
MC: Ahh / wait hold up what???
Ose: Wait, you guys were supposed to handle other customers so--
Bael suddenly attacks! Ose Matrix-dodges and frowns!
Ose: Bael what the hell man
Vapula: NOOOO Baels 5, 8, and 13, you're supposed to stay vaput!

Vapula gets bitchslapped by Bael Golems!
Vapula: OW
Ose: Vapula what the hell is happening?
Vapula: I-I dunno! I just vaprogrammed them like Bael told me to!
The customers think this is some show. For now.
Bael G1: I made you a drink, Master MC.
Bael G2: I'll rub your feet and hold them tight, okay?
Ose: Okay this is getting problematic. You DID program them right, yeah?
Vapula: Tee hee, I vaprogrammed Bael 21 to be a little yandere. So that's how that worked.
Ose: You're on your own when Bael starts kicking your ass.
Astaroth: Wait, maybe you do need a little roguishness to serve customers.
MC: what? / help??? / this is fine!
---
(C) Ose: Maybe we should leave MC alone if they're fine?
Astaroth: But that would ruin the plan!
---
Astaroth: So maybe making the Bael Golems more open backfired...
Vapula: Maybe the AI chip we got from Turing and vaput in is part of the cause?
Ose: So you tried taking the tsun out of tsundere? Huh.
Astaroth: We have to fix this!
Vapula: B-but how? Vaput the golems out of order?
Astaroth: We'll have to try reprogramming them again! Ose, get the others!
BATTLE START