Edo
Otter: OH GOD I'M BEING CHASED!
Otter hides under some building. Ninjas run by.
Otter: Is this a youkai hunt? But my sweet, sweet fur is all I have going for--
Ninjas pop up behind Otter!
Otter: OH NO
Sandayu: (saves Otter) Dang you really suck at this youkai thing.
Otter: Thanks Sandayu, you're such a cool youkai!
Sandayu: Skedaddle on home already, sheesh. The boss gonna be hella mad you slipped out.
Otter: Aww, can't you pwease help me out there??
Sandayu: You're gonna do this again aren't you
And so Sandayu and Otter walk off.
Somewhere Inside
Gorozaemon: Sooo where were you at this hour?
Otter: Um...going out like a good youkai and seeing if any of us were being attack! Who knew it'd be me?
Gorozaemon: (sighs and pokes Otter's face) You got guts, kid. Edo's dangerous for us right now though. People blame us for everything weird happening, even if it's true! Just stay safe until we can do the Night Parade for realsies.
Otter: (frowns)
Gorozaemon: Now be a good boy and play with the others.
Otter: ...'kay. And sorry for before. (walks inside while having a flashback)
Flashback!
Otter: Let's be friends!
Ciramantep A: OH NO HE'LL PULL PRANKS AND STEAL OUR SOULS
Ciramantep B: Listen to your parents!
Otter: Hey I don't do any of that! I just forget a lot!
Present
Otter: Everything I do blows up on me... (stares out the window)
Green: Is the boss mad at you again? Wow!
Yellow: You suck!
Otter: Sounds like somebody wants to get eaten!
And then they go on to play hide and seek.
Later
Gouryou: damn another samurai ambushing a chump for a sword test. Welp, I'm depressed! So let's go have fun at the red light district and--
Horus: Shut up and help!
Gouryou: Fiiine, things are obvious since the chump's bag is still here. Dude's beat up enough that it can't be some samurai testing his moves or something.
ACE★DETECTIVES Horus and Gouryou!
Horus: Ugh, you could start making an effort to begin with. So maybe this is some youkai distraction?
Gouryou: Well it has to be someone who was strong enough cut this poor bastard down in one shot.
Horus: Investigate with the locals, got it.
Gouryou: I'm not moving a goddamn step!
Horus: Bold. Now get those feet moving, pig.
Gouryou: OW STOP PULLING MY EAR
Main Street
Horus: Why are there so many people here? Is there a fight?
Tanetomo: Oh, Lord Oni Hayabusa! A firefighter and sumo wrestler are arguing about who's more popular.
Horus: T-that's it? The insolence!
Ashigara: WE'RE the hottest of the three hot jobs in Edo!
Those three jobs would be the sumo wrestler, the detective, and the firefighter.
Ulaanbaatar: Says you. It's US, the firefighters!
Cheers and applause!
Ashigara: OOF! Yasuyori, say something!
Yasuyori: uhh, I'm okay with just being liked
Ashigara: TRAITOR
More cheering!
Gouryou: HEY! I'm in this too, and I'mma get ALL the cute babes!
Horus: (stares) My reputation is sinking already.
fight fight fight
Tanetomo: Wait! We should settle this with a duel, even if there's three of you! As Edo's prettiest, I volunteer as judge!
Ashigara: You're on!
Tanetomo: I need more judges though. Oh! Can you help?
Turing: ...me?
Tanetomo: Yes, we need a noble and refined outsider to make it fair.
Turing: Okay, if you're good with a caustic critic like me.
Tanetomo: Even better!
Ashigara, Ulaanbaatar, and Gouryou are starting to think this is a bad idea.
Tanetomo: Okay now, start acting hot. Go.
Ulaanbaatar: Then gimme someone hot to hit on! If I gotta get my game on it doesn't have to be with you!
Gouryou: Yeah! Get someone super hot!
Tanetomo: Okay fine maybe I can't double duty then. Uhh...oh! (grabs someone from the crowd)
Onamuji: Oh no what did I do wrong!?
Tanetomo: Nothing. How about you help us out because reasons?
Ashigara: Oh my god you can't just ask Edo's guardian deity to get hit on!
Tanetomo: I didn't know you were so chicken.
Ashigara: BRING IT
Onamuji: Nooo, I can't do it!
Look it's Inaba.
Inaba: I heard you talking about love and relationships, let me in on this! I'm the best judge on that!
Tanetomo: Okay! We still need a hot date for this to work so maybe I really will need to volunteer as tribute.
Turing: I have an idea, love!
Turing seems to be having fun as he points at someone in the crowd.
MC: ...ME!? / I thought I was just spectating! / aww shucks fine
Tanetomo: Hmm...Goemon's new kabuki actor? That works, I guess. Would you?
Horus: NOOO, NOT MY UNCLLLLEEEE
Tanetomo: what?
Horus: Uh, I mean... (wait what if the rabbit says Uncle and I go together perfectly?) ...I'm joining in too!
Gouryou: Tee hee, not so above it all, huh?
Horus grabs Gouryou by the head with his claws.
Ashigara: Bring it on!
Battle Without Honor and Humanity, start! Ulaanbaatar's up first!
MC's visiting a shrine. Someone's already there ringing the bell.
Ulaan: Hey MC, here to make my wish come true already?
MC: you're just saying that / aren't you already hot and popular? / same wish!
---
(A) Ulaan: All's fair in love and war for the hottest babe in town!
(B) Ulaan: That'd be you.
(C) Ulaan: Hooray!
---
Ulaan: Soooo I notice we're alone now. Wanna go...have some fun?
MC: (nod and go with him) / (slap him)
(AB) Ulaan: :D
(C) Ulaan: OW
Later
Ashigara: Dang, I bet the judges will love that!
Horus: I have to do THAT!? But then again...
Turns out the judges flunked Ulaanbaatar, 0/10 would not ogle.
Ulaanbaatar: But why tho!?
Tanetomo: Because I'M the cutest and hottest in Edo, get it right.
Inaba: You went to the wrong god's shrine if you want good luck in love. Your lack of faith is disturbing.
Turing: Your game is boring.
MC: Big fat zeroes, huh? Harsh but fair. / I think you're a winner!
---
(C) Ulaan: Aww geez thanks, hot stuff
---
Tanetomo: (now how else can I be petty? People need to know I'm LEAGUES above them in hotness.)
Inaba: (gold rush for our shrine!)
Turing: (I hope the next one is fun to clown on too)
Ashigara: Oh no we're doomed!
Ulaan: rip everyone's scores
Gouryou: hold my beer, guys!
Gouryou's turn!
Fancy date spot teahouse!
Gouryou: Table please, MC! Or bench I guess.
MC: Aren't you alone?
Gouryou: Nope! YOU'RE my date! C'mon, my treat.
MC: I'm supposed to be working, but fiiiine just a minute.
This teahouse has soba noodles, which Gouryou gets for MC.
Gouryou: Here you go. How come nobody's tried anything with you? Were you saving yourself for me~?
MC: (nod) / did you have to say it out loud / not really
Smug Gouryou.
Gouryou: I joined in as half a joke, but I might go all out for you. I got you the GOOD stuff, so you owe me a good time hehehe
MC: ... / (kick) / (slap)
(A) Gouryou: :D
(B) Gouryou: OW
(C) Gouryou: OW
Later
Turing, Tanetomo, and Inaba: FAIL
Gouryou: Noooo
MC: damn / you're a 100 in MY book!
Ashigara: oh no how am I supposed to do this!?
Horus: (steps forward) I want to go next because the elite cannot fail!
Horus just walks up and kneels in front of MC instead of putting on an elaborate scene.
Horus: ...MC, I've always admired you. Will you exchange vows with me?
The crowd rushes Horus!
Rando A: TAKE ME LORD HORUS
Rando B: You naughty heart stealer, you!
Horus: WHAT
Ulaanbaatar and Gouryou are jealous.
Ulaan: God I wish that were me. Why is it that people like super serious guys like him?
Gouryou: Welp we sure lost.
MC: He's putting on a front, but he hasn't totally pulled it off yet. Oh fine, I'll help him.
Turing: Hey love, best you step back from the hubbub before you get pulled in and complicate things.
Gouryou: Turing, you didn't hold back at all when you were judging us!
Turing: Ha ha, let's let bygones be bygones shall well? I wasn't the one living out my fantasies five minutes ago. We're supposed to meet today to figure out how to get back to present day Tokyo from its past.
Ulaan: Shouldn't we be helping Horus or something?
Turing: He's got it covered.
Hmm, the crowd seems upset now.
Rando A: HORUSSSS! ...what? Hey back off, you!
Rando B: noooo my sweet Horus has jilted me...
The party goes to some empty house.
Otter: Heya guys!
Horus (from somewhere): OTTER HOW DARE YOU TURN ME INTO A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE
MC: Huh. I hear Horus but don't see him. (looks around)
Chibi Horus jumps out of Otter's clothes!
Horus: Stop doing this to me!
Otter: But you're so cuuute!
End of Episode
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