Sitri: Okay I can't take them all solo!
Black Merman: Dammit, the little kid's fast and has some weird trick!
Purple Merman: Give up kid, we won't hurt you.
The mobs don't realize Sitri's slowly drawn them away from Sanzo!
Sitri: (Did F Boy run away yet? Sorry I didn't do better Dad, MC-senp--wait, I can't give up!)
Sitri: HELP
CRASH
???: Hey, the cavalry is here!
Sitri: what
Sanzo: I brought friends back!
Sitri: ...how'd you find the lamest yet coolest guys!?
Sanzo brought the Pick Up Gang!
Gouryou: To protect our hearts from devastation...
Typhon: To unite all cuties within the nation!
Ulaanbaatar: Yada yada, Ulaan that's right!
Gouryou, Typhon, Ulaanbaatar: We're the Pick Up Gang!
Mermen: WHAT
Sitri: WHAT
Sanzo: YEAH!
Oddly cool losers
Red Merman: ...WHAT?
Typhon: What, y'all don't get it? It's ass kicking time for botherin' our pal.
Green Merman: you guys are a legit team?
Ulaanbaatar: Yep. Now leave our team Wobuffet alone.
Sitri: I try so hard to be cool and now I'm a playboy...?
Ulaanbaatar: Playboy to be, but details!
Gouryou: Seth's part of the team too, but we can slot you in elsewhere.
Sitri: I'm supposed to be a cool badass!
Gouryou: Just kidding, tee hee.
Purple Merman: Hey what the fu--
Typhon: Oh right, ass whuppin' time!
Pick Up Gang: Now line up your asses!
MC: what / Sitri, I'm here to help! / Sitri help me!
---
(C) Schrodinger's hostage!
---
Sitri: Senpai!?
Later
Sitri: ...and that's why Senpai and I are late.
Explanation time
Sitri: Worried? ...sorry.
MC: Sanzo, why are you here? / we should tell Motosumi / you've been a baaaad boy
---
(A) Sanzo: I'M SORRRRRY! ...MC? Why are you here?
(B) Sanzo: NOOOO! He'll beat me up!
(C) Sanzo: o-oh, what are you planning to do to me? I might be down for that!
---
Sitri: MC-senpai, you need better friends!
Sanzo: (GASP!)
Volkh: Impressive bravery and initiative in saving him, Sitri.
Sitri: Huh? B-but I needed help too. I just happened to be small enough to sneak in.
Ashigara: You'll grow bigger soon! I was a little squirt when I was younger too!
Alberich: Tee hee, and you could be giant if a fairy curses you. Size doesn't really matter, it's how you use yourself honey!
Hermes: Wow, rude. Weird coming from me, yeah but still. Anyways, nice going Sitri. I was wrong to treat you like any other kid.
Volkh: Indeed, welcome back oh brave warrior.
Sitri: Guys...
Time to change the subject!
MC: So like, why's the rest of the pick up gang here?
Gouryou: Oh, NOW you ask!?
Typhon: Y'all I thought we were bein' ignored!
Ulaanbaatar: Oh MC, you scamp.
Sitri: You know these weirdos too?
Volkh: That said, I must thank them as well.
Gouryou: Nah, we oughta thank you for saving Sanzo since he brought us over. Tianzun suggested we all go to this event, though we came to look for hotties! But then Aegir grabbed us and told us to manage some pirates as assassins and bring back any cool people.
Typhon: Cool times tho!
Ulaanbaatar: Yep! Too bad we struck out with literally everyone!
Sanzo: J-just so you know I was just hoping someone would hit on ME sightseeing. And then, um. That happened. My sexy summer is getting ruined!
MC: damn, you're a trouble magnet / Impure thot / (pat Sanzo)
(A) Sanzo: at least try to make me feel better!
(B) Sanzo: N-no I'm not! Look me in the eyes and see how pure I am!
(C) Sanzo: O-oh, does that mean you like me? Go on, pat me wherever you want!
Gouryou: But yeah, Sanzo disappeared on us again and then Sitri came running by, so we figured we'd follow him.
Typhon: And then we lost him. But then we followed the feathers he dropped!
Sitri: Oh. Right. That's a thing that happens.
Ulaanbaatar: Welp! Funny how those mermen turned out to be super intense scouts!
Ashigara: what
Ulaanbaatar: yeah they wanted people to join their blitzball team
Volkh: ...makes sense why someone would want impressive men like him.
Sanzo: (GASP! Does that mean Volkh wants me like that!? Is he gonna drag me to his bed and ravish me tonight!?)
MC: well if you guys are assassins, are we gonna fight or something?
Gouryou: You expect me to WORK or something!?
Focused Gouryou
Gouryou: But why not a little nighttime fun at least?
Later
Night time market fun!
Ashigara: Oh my god, awesome seafood gratin!
Sitri: Spicy seafood garlic pizza!
Ashigara: Eat up, Sitri! Gotta get bigger and stronger!
Gouryou: Niiiice. Can't outeat us that easy tho. New order, my man!
Volkh: So, how are we supposed to win an eating contest?
MC: they just wanna eat. it's all cool though / I'm sensing a new event plot pattern!
Volkh: True. Also this shish kebab is amazing, along with the herbal seasoning!
Challenge ditched, party time!
Alberich: Hmm. I'm like 99% sure I never tried to pick hotties up but strike out, but I can guess how that goes. Well tonight's dinner is on me, boys!
Gouryou: I'm not THAT much of a loser! The asking out alone is pretty fun, and the group time is cool on its own. Not that I'll turn down any one night stands, hehehe...
Alberich: Boys, let me give you a little kingly wisdom here. If no one gives you the time of day, just BUY their love! Not like it's worth anything anyways, haha!
Gouryou: Oh my god, Andvari Alberich!?
Ulaanbaatar: Kinda wild but cool in its own way?
Sitri: You playboys are so uncool! But you also saved me, so hmm...
Ulaanbaatar: Well that couldn't happen without you!
Typhon: Yeah, thanks to you we found Sanzo again!
Gouryou: You became a hero yourself.
Sitri: How do you manage to be so uncool and cool at the same time!?
Hermes: It's all good. Now that aside, you guys have our next event plot hint, right?
Gouryou: Oh right, this thingy! Forgot about it. (tosses to Hermes)
MC: Welp. What's it say?
Another map parchment! The party takes a look.
Ashigara: Is that music notayshun???
Alberich: Party song? Hit it, Hermes!
Hermes: ...it's not a real song. So it must be code.
Volkh: Makes sense.
Hermes: This one's not too bad to figure out.
Sitri: ...so what's it say?
Thinking Hermes
Hermes: ...treasure at the island we're heading towards apparently.
Alberich: Ooh, we'll be done that fast!? Way to go, honey!
Volkh: That's nice, but why encode it then?
MC: You sure? / sus / (stare at Hermes)
(A) Hermes: ...totally sure.
(B) Hermes: Hey, I didn't lie.
(C) Hermes: ...what? I spoke the truth.
Hermes: Anyways, we're heading towards the end goal.
Hermes puts the new parchment away and Looks at the Plot Ring Aegir gave earlier. Nobody notices.
Ashigara: Celebration drink! Get the treasure, then go home! Cheers!
Sanzo: I have to get home quick too! Kids are great and I am failing as a father figure!
Sitri: Already!? What a loser!
Gouryou: Sanzo, chill! I mean I guess this is partly my fault too. Figured Singularity time flow differences would bend for us.
Typhon: Yeah. We liked havin' ya with us, Sanzo.
Ulaanbaatar: Why not go straight in the morning, stay the night here and party?
Sanzo: YOU GUYS
Sitri: ...I guess there's all kinds?
Alberich: Celebrate with us, Sanzo!
Volkh: We may as well stay on land tonight.
Alberich: Somebody bring all the food and drinks! Daddy's having fun tonight~!
The next morning
Gouryou: Mkay, good luck with the treasure hunt.
Typhon: Now wish us luck in findin' hotties!
Ulaanbaatar: Sanzo's cool, I'll take him home.
Sanzo: Um, Sitri? Thanks again for saving me. I can't believe I was almost shanghaied into a blitzball team!
Sitri: It's cool. Go home and see those kids.
Sanzo: (cries projectile tears) WAAAH, YOU'RE A GOOD KID
Gouryou: Geez, calm down! But anyways, time to say bye.
The pick up gang lines up and waves.
Pick Up Gang: See ya!
And so the Alberich sails off into the distance.
Sitri: Okay that was way more involved than I expected. Still fun though. But also it feels like bad luck for loser playboys to see us off...
Hermes: Oh you, overthinking it. Time to head north!
Ashigara and Sitri: (GASP!)
Sitri: wait why am I surprised
Ashigara: Y-yeah, same!
MC: aww, you grew up a bit Sitri
Thinking Sitri
Sitri: I guess I'm a little braver? Sure, going out into the world's scary but also kinda fun. Maybe I have taken a little control of the helm of my metaphorical ship.
Decisive Sitri
Sitri: Speaking of, I'm going to the wheelhouse now! Set sail for the north!
Pretty sea, heading towards the future. Excited young boy, and in the distance, a surprise storm...
End of Episode
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