Carbuncle (narrating): Fuck you MEAN "oh my god they're back!"?
There was once a boy with a pretty shining rock in his forehead.
Mobs: After him! Her! Them! Whatever!
And he was chased by people who wanted him for their own conflicting reasons.
Mobs: OH MY GOD IT'S TRUE / it's like they're really back again!
Everyone saw the boy differently. The boy hated his power, but sometimes he used it to survive.
Mobs: After him! / (wheeeeze) / I shoulda ran more
The boy was confident in his stamina at least.
Carbuncle: I'm not your damn replacement goldfish!
Carbuncle breathes in...
Someone Else's Voice: He totally went that way!
And so the mobs ran off in another direction. Carbuncle got away, running on and on until...
Carbuncle: wait where am I? A museum? ...(GASP!)
Oooh, totally a statue of a hot beefy guy with a heaping helping of smug!
Carbuncle: He's just like God!
One day, after school...
MC: Tireeed. Maybe I should work out.
Shirou: MC, have you seen Kengo? Mononobe-sensei asked me to bring him in. Did he run again? Ugh, don't you think he should study more as a student?
MC: Hey do you work out? / oh god I'm fat / study and fitness is good
(A) Shirou: O-oh, well Kengo used to drag me to the dojo when we were younger. Also reading needs stamina too.
Here comes Ryouta!
Ryouta: You guys, there's a new cake shop at the station! Wanna check it out?
Shirou side-eyes Ryouta.
Shirou: Maybe you should exercise more.
Ryouta: Are you calling me fat!? I know I am but still!
Shirou: Well, all things in moderation...
MC: STAY FAT RYOUTA / wanna run in the morning together? / he seems active enough to me
(A) Shirou: W-wow you sure care about that for some reason.
Ryouta: Actually you seem to be trying to fatten me up lately.
(B) Ryouta: Ohh, good idea. I'd have quit under three days by myself.
(C) Ryouta: Yeah I just like eating more! People just like doing fun things more!
Shirou: But the event's happening soon.
Ryouta: R-right. Ugh...
MC: what
Shirou: Oh, did I not tell you? It's almost that season for that one Japanese cultural tradition of--
Touji: (walks in) MC, someone's here to see you.
MC: Huh, who could it be?
Aegir: S'up, MC!
Aegir's drawing attention. He seems to enjoy it.
MC: What's up? / Date time??? / No kidnapping, thanks
(B) Aegir: Nah, came to talk to you about something less crazy today.
(C) Aegir: Heh, jealous? I promise you'll always be first.
Aegir: So I heard--hey get back here. You ever hear about the Museum of Prayers? Apparently they have some super valuable Miracle Jewel. How about we go stare at it together?
MC: what is your deal / why me? / ohhh
(A) Aegir: Nothing if you have anything to say about it! Come on!
And so Aegir drags MC off with him.
(B) Aegir: Because it'll be totally okay for you to cause problems if you aren't with one of your school teachers!
what kind of reasoning is that
Aegir: (picks up MC) Now let's go!
(C) Aegir: Let's see if it's all that!
And so Aegir picks up MC and heads off.
Ginza
MC: are you gonna carry me the whole way / this museum isn't in Aoyama? / bridal carry me
---
(A) Aegir: At this point, why not? We're almost there.
(C) Aegir: Oh you. Next time.
---
Big church.
Aegir: Let's see...hey they have a back door we can sneak in through!
MC: That's really the plan!? / may God forgive us / okay bye
(A) Aegir: It's cool, I'll handle it if we get caught.
(C) Aegir: Pffft, quitter. It's cool, I'll handle things if we get caught.
Inside
Aegir: Whoa, fancy. Look at this beefy lifelike statue!
Gargoyle: (stares)
MC: did it just look at me / uhhh?
---
(A) Aegir: Pffft, that's stupid.
---
Aegir: Maybe I should take it with me.
Gargoyle: HA! Your Discerning Eye is impressive!
MC: OH GOD HELP / are statue Transients a thing?
Gargoyle: Welcome to the Museum of Prayers! I am Gargoyle, stare and be amazed! But also where did you two come from? Are you thieves?
Quick, think of something!
Aegir: Yeah we wanna admire the Miracle Jewel!
Gargoyle: Pffft. Why not come in through the front door on opening day? It's petrification time!
MC: I'm innocent! / welp / *(rock up)*
Aegir: Hell yeah, dragons sitting on treasure just like in Yggdrasil!
Gargoyle: Very well! You there, you be the judge!
Battle time! ...actually wait. Aegir and Gargoyle take off their clothes!
Gargoyle: (flexes) Don't I look better than him?
Aegir: Nice, bro!
Aegir flexes and poses too.
MC: what??? / (god yes) / why are YOU into this!?
(A) Gargoyle: Violence is all well and good, but this is the rational method of conflict resolution. Totally not an ego stroking opportunity!
(B) Gargoyle: What, too hot for you? Look closely at my muscles!
(C) Aegir: I don't back down from a challenge and I'm beefy too.
Gargoyle: Okay judge, who won!?
MC: Gargoyle wins! / Aegir wins! / man I don't knoooow!
---
(A) Aegir: Are you blind or something!?
Gargoyle: But of course I won! Allow me to do some fanservicey flexes before I flex on you with my ultimate move!
(B) Gargoyle: (gasp!) Favoritism!
Protesting Gargoyle.
Gargoyle: Fine, time to flex on you with my ultimate move!
(C) Gargoyle: Very well. Then I shall flex on you with my ultimate move!
---
Gargoyle: BEHOLLLLD!
Poof! Mini Gargoyle!
Mini Gargoyle: Oh no I forgot to check my energy levels!
Aegir: Uh. So how's that flexing on us going?
Mini Gargoyle: P-put me down!
Carbuncle: (walks in) Father, what is with all the noi--wait who are you people? We aren't even open yet?
Aegir: Hey you, show us where the Mir--
MC gags Aegir and steps in!
MC: Hi who are you? / Cute! / We're lost
(A) Carbuncle: Uh, I asked first. You Father Freakazoid's friends?
(B) Carbuncle: Ugggh this again. You Father Freakazoid's friends?
(C) Carbuncle: Restroom's that way? Anyways, you Father Freakazoid's friends?
MC: uhhh / he's a priest?
Carbuncle: He SAYS he is, but I guess he's not that wrong if he means like a Statue of our Father in Heaven...wait, where'd he go?
Gargoyle's gone.
Carbuncle: You must be his gym buddies. Did you see where he went?
Aegir: We were posing at each other until he bailed out like a bitch. I was totally winning that one! But anyways, who are you? A guard?
Carbuncle: Nah, I'm Carbuncle. Choir boy and...live in chore boy.
Aegir: Cool, I'm Aegir! King of giants and treasure hunter! I work at Toyosu.
"Treasure hunter" triggers Carbuncle!
Carbuncle: Oh so you ARE here for me! Time for an ass kicking!
Aegir: Damn, uppity much brat? We just--(sees Carbuncle's gem)--oh.
Gargoyle: (walks in) Yes, Carbuncle is the Miracle Jewel!
Carbuncle: GODDAMMIT, where were you!? You got churchgoers here to see you!
Aegir: Wait, the Miracle Jewel's a Transient? Oh well, kidnapping wasn't the plan for the day but I guess that's how it goes!
Carbuncle: OH GOD HELP
Aegir: You glow funny. Guess that's why they call you the Miracle Jewel.
Carbuncle: Gargoyle, get off your stony ass and HELP ME ALREADY!
Suddenly Balor and Fuxi!
Fuxi: SIIIISTER! Your brother is here to save you!
Balor: I'm here to get you outta trouble, MC!
Aegir's surprised! Carbuncle smirks.
MC: what / I must be imaging things / I didn't say anything!
Balor and Fuxi bump into each other as they run in!
Fuxi: Go away you! SIIIISTER needs me!
Balor: YOU go away! I get out for once and MC said they need ME!
Aegir: wait what? Hey wait, GET BACK HERE YOU!
Carbuncle makes a break for Fuxi and Balor!
Carbuncle: Okay, so uh... "oh no, help me pretty please!"
Balor: Okay, Grandpa will help you and then rub his face on you!
Fuxi: I'll save you! And when I do, look at me like I'm trash and tell me to KMS!
Carbuncle: you guys are freaks Sure! Go get 'em!
Fuxi: YEEEESSSS
MC: What's wrong with you people...this time!?
Sudden realization!
Balor and Fuxi: OH MY GOD TWO MCS!
Later
Balor and Fuxi are doing the Japanese Squat of Shame.
MC: Okay. So. How did you confuse Carbuncle for me!?
Carbuncle: I'll answer...so you're MC? I was wondering what kinda person gets seen as a bunch of other people.
Carbuncle stares at MC in a "I know that feel bro" sort of way.
Carbuncle: Ever wonder why I get called the Miracle Jewel? It's 'cause my power makes people look at me like I'm the most important thing in their life.
Flashback!
Ruler A: God won't speak to meeee
Carbuncle: How about I do it?
Ruler A: HALLELUJAAAAH
Some other flashback!
Guy B: I lost my only family when my pet died!
Carbuncle: Oh...well have your dream for a minute.
Guy B: SPOOOOT! C-can I pet you?
Present
Gargoyle: And then the comparisons to jewels came in.
Aegir: Sounds like bullshit but I can believe the miracle label.
Carbuncle: Yeah, anyone who has a memory of seeing my gem shine will always see me as someone else. Lots of people like you MC. Poor bastard.
MC: awww / time to ignore them for a week / OH GOD YOU KNOW HOW IT IS
---
(C) Carbuncle: yeah it sucks
---
Fuxi: SIIIISTER! Please wait, have mercy! The World Rep Tokyo Pact says we're limited in how much we can see you, so sometimes I go see Carbuncle acting as a sub for you...
Balor: Yeah the other Reps bitch if I try to visit so...
MC: kys / Sorry Carbuncle / Hey Carbuncle, go entertain Fuxi
(A) Fuxi: Aw yiiiis!
(C) Carbuncle: OH GOD NO
Carbuncle: Also WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR FAMILY? It's not just one or two people asking to see me to see you!
Gargoyle: Yeah, weird. I'm the most important person in my life!
MC: Huh, we are alike / Who ARE you, Gargoyle? Not just some gym lizard?
---
(BC) Gargoyle: Oh you want to know? Come on by sometime! But for now, I will just pose while Carbuncle talks about himself.
---
Carbuncle: This is like the first time I ever met anyone like me.
MC: Sorry about the ruckus / I'm glad I met you / (introduce yourself)
Carbuncle: ...it's cool. Hey, tell me about yourself.
Later
Carbuncle: Wow, cool.
Interested Carbuncle.
Carbuncle: Aren't you sick of everyone seeing you as someone else?
MC: Totally / I stopped noticing / Not everyone
Carbuncle: Huh. Well samesies I guess. It helps people sometimes.
Gargoyle poses.
Carbuncle: Hmm. Hey MC, have you got a team for the next event yet?
MC: what
Carbuncle: What do you mean, what? It's the All Tokyo Sports Festival. You in? They got a big prize for the winner! Maybe we could join together if--
Mail for Carbuncle!
Carbuncle: Oh hey, mail about the event. But I haven't even signed up yet so why--
Meanwhile, in Kamata
Hephaestus: what is up with your reaction times?
Otohime: I am a robot girl.
Hephaestus and Otohime are playing a game.
Hephaestus: S-so, how's trying to learn to be more human through nerd entertainment?
Otohime: Romance media is fascinating. Did you recommend this one?
Hephaestus: N-no, shut up! What if Mom hears!? It just happens to have someone that looks like Mom, not like I'm interested in romance!
Hephaestus keeps talking to himself.
Hephaestus: O-okay after this, we overhaul your robo body. We can test it in the new event.
Otohime: Hmm, that reminds me. Hephaestus, have you heard? Has anyone told you?
Hephaestus: 'bout what?
Otohime: About the prize for the sports festival.
Back at the Museum of Prayers
Carbuncle: I'M THE PRIZE!?
End of Episode part
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