Manticore (narrating): So I'm terrible at acting human around a bunch of other humans, even though I'm not SUPPOSED to be much different from other Transients. I got ears and a tail, okay? Nothing that weird. But I still don't fit in. People tell me I just don't have enough humanity. What does that even MEAN? That's fucking bullshit, man!
Present
Nice day. Calm season. A normal day, until...
???: FNGHAAAAH
Rando A: Holy shit what???
Rando B: Ahh yes, the archery club Monster. It's that time of the day.
Rando A: Ohh, Mr. Rich and Fabulous? Some moonlighting diamond mine heir or whatever? The Monster thing is kinda rude though, yeah? I mean, he looks mostly human. We have robots and monster girls walking around already.
Rando B: Dude have you not seen him up close? That guy ain't right!
Archery Club grounds
Rando C: Um, please calm down and not blow up again.
Manticore: FUUUUCK!
Later
A few days later, Ikebukuro. MC is shopping. Oniwaka is carrying bags.
Oniwaka: What kinda guild makes their own guildmaster run errands? At least KENGO could come help you with this!
MC: It's just my turn is all / Shirou caught him / yay, disassociation time!
---
(A) Oniwaka: I guess, but I still can't let you walk around here all alone!
(B) Oniwaka: Aww, his friend is making him study? Ha! ...why are you shaking?
(C) Oniwaka: Okay I know it sounds weird coming from me, but you should study too okay?
---
Oniwaka: Well whatever. If you're done, let's get back.
MC and Oniwaka are drawing a lot of attention as they go to the station.
MC: Welp. / We sure are popular / (ignore)
---
(A) Oniwaka: Forget the trash, just keep going. You got a classmate waiting, don'tcha?
(B) Oniwaka: Pffft, who cares what they think? Let's go before anyone starts shit.
(C) Oniwaka: (Dunno what they're thinkin', but we oughta hurry)
Oniwaka: Let's go. You got a classmate waitin', right?
---
Subject change, go!
Later
MC and Oniwaka arrive at Shinjuku Station.
Oniwaka: Wait, step back Master. Some...thing(?) up ahead.
Here comes Manticore, Shamash, and Ixbalanque!
Ixbalanque: Oh hey Senpai...do you always make that guy there carry your stuff?
Shamash: Hello again MC.
Manticore: !!
MC: It just happened, Ixbalanque / Hi Shamash! / I'll introduce you, Oniwaka
(A) Ixbalanque: It's cool Senpai, I know how weak you are. Call me up next time, I'll carry your stuff!
Oniwaka: Who the fuck do y--what do you MEAN you're okay with that, Master!?
(B) Shamash: I'm glad you seem alright. I hear exams are starting soon. Are you d--why are you looking away?
Oniwaka: You're doing that badly!?
(C) Oniwaka: So now you know a bratty soccer kouhai and a super private tutor? Where the hell do you find these people?
Oniwaka: So who's the other guy?
Well clearly he ain't human. Nice clothes tho, and he oozes a high class upbringing. Also he seems surprised or something.
MC: Hi I'm MC. You a rich guy from somewhere? / ASL?
(AB): Manticore: ...sorry, I...have a hard time talking.
(C) Oniwaka: Oh my god, you can't just ask people that, Master!
Oniwaka steps up in front of MC!
Manticore: >:(
Manticore: ...uh, I mean, sorry. I was...a little overwhelmed.
Tongue slurping noises. Also Manticore calms down enough to start talking again, bowing and moving his scarf down.
Manticore: Excuse me, my name is Manticore. I am an alien species summoned here.
MC: a what now
Oniwaka: Foreign races to the ecosystem, threats to the natives. How come YOU don't know about this, Master?
Manticore: I attend a satellite school with both my senpais here as a second year.
Ixbalanque: So same year as you, Senpai. He's kinda weird, but you oughta be friends with him.
Manticore: Who the fu--I mean, yes. I still cannot meld with human society. You seem to be native, MC, so I hope you can teach me how to live in the human sphere.
MC: I'm not sure I'm native / teach what now / Sure!
(A) Manticore: wait what
(B) Manticore: I mean, how to behave like a human.
(C) Manticore: Oh, thank you.
Manticore: ...so you do seem human like the rumors say. Please teach me your ways.
Oniwaka: Teach what tho? You seem plenty polite already.
Ixbalanque: Senpai always shows up when I'm looking for them so--oh wait that might be my class thing. But yeah we came looking for you to ask about helping Manticore.
Shamash: We called your dorm and happened to run into you here.
Oniwaka: Oh. Too bad, Master and I got somewhere else to go first.
MC: Wanna come to our safehouse? It might be easier. / Hello, Shirou?
(AB) Oniwaka: DON'T JUST INVITE RANDOM STRANGERS
(C) Oniwaka: WHAT? Master, you can't just let people near your safehouse!
Oniwaka: Hell, I'M not in your guild so I can't just go in either!
Oniwaka pulls MC away to explain Public Game Rules for Dummies when...
MC: But I wanted to invite you too. Guildmaster's permission! / we have a fluffy komainu!
---
(AB) ...
Oniwaka: Fiiiine! Don't say I didn't warn you!
(C) Oniwaka: (gasp!) Wait, you can't bait me with that! Anyways, I warned you!
---
MC goes back to invite Team Girlbait to the safehouse.
Shamash: Are you sure? You have exams soon.
MC: But you came to ask for help / It's cool! / Teach me later?
---
(C) Shamash: Sure thing.
Ixbalanque: Busybodies. Be glad I'm helping too.
---
Manticore: HRAA--(clap)
Ixbalanque: Okay deep breaths and go back to normal, Senpai. Let's NOT freak MC-senpai at this point, mkay?
Manticore: R-right, thank you...whew.
MC: Sick or something? / (whatever, let's go)
Manticore: Oh, how kind. I'm okay, let's go.
Oniwaka: (stares)
Later
Summoners Safehouse
Agyou: Hi MC, wel--WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?
Surprise for Agyou!
MC: Oops / Oh, did I not call Shirou in time? / Welp!
---
(C) Agyou and Oniwaka: Don't you "welp!" this!
---
Ixbalanque: Are you sure it's okay for us to be here, Senpai?
Shamash: Hello Agyou, MC told me about you. What a good boy, guarding this place all by yourself.
Agyou: Hell yeah I am!
Shamash: I brought a present from all of us.
Agyou: Yay, candy! Come on in, I'll make tea!
East Asian manners success!
MC: Wow. Sorry about the fuss.
Manticore: Is this how a first meeting is supposed to go? And Agyou is a komainu from Wa no Kuni, yes? I need to study the spirit of Wa for peace, or I'll die trying to figure the shit outta--
Shamash: So Manticore, shall we get right to the subject?
Manticore: OH! Yes! Please do, MC.
Manticore looked feral for a second until Shamash reminded him to get himself under control. Oniwaka noticed and moves himself closer to guard MC.
One explanation later
Oniwaka: Whaddya MEAN learn the spirit of Wa?
Manticore: Yes, I think it would help me a lot in learning how to behave more like a human.
Oniwaka grumbles about how it must be nice to be rich.
Manticore: I tried learning cultural things on my own like archery and tea ceremonies but it isn't working.
Shamash: I can tell Manticore some things, but others he needs personal experience with, so I thought we should talk to you.
Ixbalanque: "Wa" means Tokyo and Wa no Kuni around here, so I figured you could introduce Manticore to someone from there, Senpai. Aren't you happy I'm coming to you for help?
MC: I'm not upset, that's for sure / RUUUUDE / mmm, nice
(A) Ixbalanque: Works for me!
(B) Shamash: Sorry MC, he's just thinking about you.
(C) Oniwaka: That's it? Have some standards, Master!
Shamash: I'm sorry for my kouhai, Oniwaka. He's just thinking about MC.
Shamash: Ixbalanque's been trying his best with Manticore too. I thought that was wonderful and came here to help too.
Ixbalanque: I can't believe you ratted me out like this!
Oniwaka: Aww, aren't you a precious kouhai~? It's okay, you can just say things out loud.
Ixbalanque: You mean like how you've been staring at my tail? You can touch...for a price.
Oniwaka: C'mon Master, let's beat up a punk!
Smug Ixbalanque. Manticore tries to intervene.
Manticore: Please, don't fight on my account you two... I SAID QUIT THAT SHIT, BITCHTITS!
Oniwaka: excuse me what
Manticore slammed a table so hard it shook the safehouse! Everyone stares.
Manticore: DAMMIT I FUCKED UP AGAIN! Hey, what the fuck are YOU lookin' at!? You think I shoulda thought outside the box when phrasin' that? Well what if I think better IN the box, huh!? What the fuck does that even MEAN!? Is this real Japanglish I'm speaking here!?
MC: WHAT / welp / let me know when he's done...
Later
Ixbalanque: ...so I guess I should've started with this earlier. Manticore-senpai has the Monster Spirit trait from what he's said. Means he's got a little less emotional control than us.
Shamash: Bluntly, he explodes like he just did.
Manticore: I'm sorry, I'm calm now.
Oniwaka: You call that "a little less" control!? Damn, it must be REAL NICE to be rich. You think I might be better off if I studied up on the spirit of Wa!?
MC: Oof, Oniwaka / feeling especially judgy and jealous today, I see.
Oniwaka: How 'bout you take your ass to Wa no Kuni yourself? ...sorry, I know that's not possible and I wasn't raised to have the best manners. But anyways, you care about seeming human, yeah?
Shamash: Plenty of students are our school are afraid of Manticore's wild side. They're starting to make rumors about him, which I think he wants to stop.
Manticore: I've heard the spirit of Wa places importance on social hierarchy, so I believe it is even more important in human society. So please, would you help me with this, MC?
MC: Sure, though all I can do is show you to people / Not sure I can help tho
---
(C) Oniwaka: You can at least introduce him to people.
---
Manticore: Bitchin'! Glad you two got my back, MC and Oniwaka!
Oniwaka: We seriously expect to get anywhere with this? Damn do things get weird without the other Summoners around! Well whatever, I'm here for Master. (Not like I can leave Master alone with that.)
Manticore talks about what he thinks the spirit of Wa is, so MC calls some people to come by another day.
Some time later
Tanetomo: ...and this is how you do the fan dance. One, two, three...your turn.
Manticore: Okay, one, two, th--(snap)--oh shit I snapped the fan, Sensei!
Tanetomo: Now now, I have spares, calm down. I've broken my share of fans in my time too.
Manticore: Huh, you're so graceful I never would have guessed so.
MC: That's because Tanetomo is graceful and cute / He still has his thorns / (I'll just shut up)
---
(A) Tanetomo: It's just an act to get through life and manipulate people. I mean, nothing. But yes, thank you MC.
(B) Tanetomo: Yes, many things of beauty have their thorns and poisons. I don't know who you could ever be talking about, but be careful you don't suddenly find a knife in your back, okay MC?
---
Tanetomo: Now let's try that again, Manticore.
Later
Manticore: FUCK I MISSED
Yoritomo: :|
Yoritomo: Is this one of your brethren friends, MC? I was afraid reluctant to come after Tanetomo filled me in, but I'm surprised you asked for archery help.
MC: Well who else represents Wa no Kuni? / I heard you're a master archer / He wanted to learn about the spirit of wa.
(A) Yoritomo: It sounds strange coming from you, but very well then.
(B) Yoritomo: Is this some reference to that bridge they named after me? I guess it's fine to help then. Not really, but you know.
(C) Yoritomo: Couldn't you have asked anyone else? Knowing you though, you just asked because we're family. I guess I can help. Except not really.
Yoritomo: Archery and politics are both about zoning and keeping distance. Watch how your big brother does it.
Yoritomo walks over to Manticore.
Oniwaka: Master! What does he MEAN, he's your brother!?
MC: He's sorta is and isn't? I'll explain later.
Manticore's just focusing on trying to aim.
Yoritomo: Manticore, yes? Did anyone else teach you how to use a bow?
Manticore: FUCK NO! ...my bad, sorry. Deep breaths...
Oniwaka: Oh my god he can't just talk to your brother like that!
Manticore: Ahem. I was never formally taught on the ways of the bow. I've asked my club senpais for guidance, though my behavior has frightened them off. Instead, I imitate what I've seen Temujin and Shinya do at competitions.
Yoritomo: Impressive skill level despite that. Maybe teaching you the form will help you blend in further. Try again.
Manticore pulls an arrow fully back. Yoritomo stops him there and starts correcting his posture.
Yoritomo: Like that. Take a breath before you fire after I step away. Control the distance between you and the target.
fwip
Manticore: I did it!
Yoritomo: Remember that stance and method, it should help. Also, did you know the way of Japanese archery is seen as a way of discerning how to live as a human? You must look at yourself and cast off your doubts.
Manticore: Thank you, Yoritomo-sensei.
Ixbalanque: What? All that target practice I helped you with was for nothing?
Shamash: It might've helped him get to today. Either way, I'm glad this could help him at school.
Later
Manticore: ...
Manticore is at Some Temple meditating...
Sanzou: Wow, this is the guy who blows up on a dime? I'd never have guessed? Why would he bother coming all this wa--OH MY BUDDHA! MC, i-i-is this some pretext for you to come see me!?
Manticore: >:(
Manticore can hear. The meditation isn't going very well...
Sanzou: Aww, why didn't you say so? ...wait, is it because you were thinking of taking me out back and...? I mean I guess we could! Like, behind the temple or...
Manticore: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Sanzou: I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY
Manticore: Ow my legs hurt like a bitch!
Motosumi comes by and bitchslaps both Manticore and Sanzou.
Oniwaka: Welp. I guess he's still doing better?
Motosumi: Sorry about our guildmaster. I'm still nirvana-ing your ass if you scream like a punk again though. Now back on your knees and meditate!
And so the day ends, with Sanzou repeatedly talking to MC about "shenanigans" and Manticore blowing up over his legs hurting like a bitch.
That night, the party goes to some Japanese diner.
MC: Sorry that didn't work out, Manticore...
Shamash: I'm sorry, I should have seen this coming.
Manticore: It's fine. I must thank you again for all the opportunities you gave me, MC. It anything, the problem would be my monster nature not being able to use the new experiences well. If I keep this up and can't succeed, it just means I'm that terrible. Dammitall!
Shamash touches Manticore's hand and reminds him he's getting angry. Manticore takes a deep breath as Inari walks over.
Inari: Hello, your order! ...what are you working on?
Inari caught the last part of the conversation.
Inari: I'm Inari from Wa no Kuni, apprentice chef! I know how it sucks to fail, but it's great when you succeed! Good luck out there!
Manticore: Thank you. But my monster nature comes out when I do succeed, which makes things seem like a wash. GODDAMN do I hate how my body's been rearranged! I wanna be a perfect human!
Ixbalanque: Just take it slow.
MC: Your body's rearranged? / Don't like your body? / Do perfect humans actually exist?
Manticore is about to answer when he stops for a second. Then he looks at MC.
Manticore: I guess I should say this now after all this.
End of Episode
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