Saturday, July 2, 2022

El Dorado Treasure Hunt Episode 3 (Abridged)

Flashback!
Shennong: Up ahead. War senses tingling...it might be Tezcatlipoca and MC.
He, Tiger Man, Tanetomo, and Yasuyori get ready to fight! Except surprise, it's Marduk, Avarga, Teda, and Nezha!
Teda: Oh it's you guys. You kept me waiting, the disrespect!
Nezha: No fair leaving me out of something fun!
Avarga: 4v4 fight! Yasuyori, fight me!
Marduk: ...SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I'M HERE
Tanetomo: Why are you guys here!?
Nezha: The guildmaster said you guys were sneaking off to do something fun! A cutie like me can join in, right?
Tanetomo: ...of course. But there's something I need to remind you.
Nezha: Okay, make it quick.
Tanetomo: The strongest and cutest of the person in the Warmongers is me.
Nezha: ???

Yasuyori: Advisor, please no bloodbaths here even if app magic means it can be undone!
Avarga: Stop looking away Yasuyori! Come at me!
Yasuyori: ...understood. Open Palm Thrust!
Teda: So Tiger Man. We're of different faiths but you're a good guy. But I STILL gotta say something.
Tiger Man: Que
Teda: When you look at the sun, you should be looking at ME! I wanna be the one fawned over!
Tiger Man: But can't you just do that over at that one elementary school in Ouji?
Teda controls that one famous elementary school and Portal Ouji Academy over in Kita Ward. He has a bunch of child guards who pamper him.
Teda: MORE! I'm busy fighting Koropokkur every day even though it's implied an actual fight between us would blow up the city! Wanna join as one of MY bodyguards?
Tiger Man: No gracias.
Teda: Okay fine. I'll just change your mind by force!

Finally, neither Marduk nor Shennong are making a move.
Marduk: I have to say, I admire you too Doctor.
Shennong: what
Shennong is the Mender of the Split World, and Marduk pays his respects to him as the One Who Split the World.
Marduk: You have great medical skills that are of the utmost importance to our army.
Shennong: Ha, thanks. I'm not that great.
Marduk: I figured you'd say that. All I feel from within you is rage against us.
Shennong: ...
Marduk: Rage about us choosing to go back to war after you heal us.
Shennong: Yeah, you're right. Everyone in Nerima is a goddamn idiot, and I always think about how no one will understand until they suffer worse than death. That includes you too.
Marduk: ...so we have reason to fight. (readies his bow)
See for yourself that I can match against your aurora flag!
Shennong: It's giant injection time for you, General Marduk!

Back to the present
Ikutoshi: What?
Tanetomo: ...
Andvari: Why are the Warmongers here!? Get your hands off my treasure or I'll make you hand it over!
Nobody seems to care.
Tezcatlipoca: Haha! Try it, punks!
NOW the rest of Andvari's party cares.

Ikutoshi: Them's fighting words. You calling us weak?
Tezcatlipoca: Oh is that how you took it? I apologize. I know how strong you all are. I'm just better because I've given up more.
Bathym: Ooooh. Now we just have to go all out and throw down.
Tanetomo: Aww, you shouldn't say when you're going all out. It just means you can't make excuses when you lose.

Ikutoshi: Huh, a taunt like that sounds like you're hiding something. So, you hiding something?
Tanetomo: >:C
Ikutoshi: Whatever I just wanna fight
Pollux: Yeah I'm annoyed you swooped in like that, but we definitely have to fight if you're gonna say shit like that.
Tezcatlipoca: I admire your wills, but a fight I'm sure to win is no war.
Andvari: MC! I dunno why you're with him, but I'm still giving you no mercy!
Ikutoshi: MC, you better bring your best since I'm going to, too.
Bathym: Ooooh, it feels like it'll be a stimulating fight for once! I can't wait!
Pollux: I'm gonna beat you and climb ever higher with my brother!
MC: I'mma stay here / Can't I just sit this out? / Mkay
---
(A) Pollux: Yeah, we can't show we're strong if we win through numbers.
(B) Bathym: Aww, don't be like that. I wanna fight you, MC.
Andvari: I mean I'D be okay with that if you weren't gonna join us.
---
Andvari's party would like to fight!

Tezcatlipoca: Fiiiine. Ready my soldiers?
Tanetomo: Of course. Let's show them who's on top.
Yasuyori: Ready for your orders!
MC: Fiiine / Ready! / Sorry guys
Tezcatlipoca: Time to stomp them! Come at us, Berserkers!
BATTLE START (more happens after)

Team Tez is running circles around Team Andvari like they can see the fewchure!
Bathym: This sucks, it feels like they've seen our moves tons of times already! Ooooh! Are you guys our fans? Wanna do a group selfie or something?
Ikutoshi and Pollux: AN OPENING! ATTACK!
Ikutoshi and Pollux do a combo attack from above and below at Tezcatlipoca. There's no room to evade.
Tezcatlipoca: Nice. But too bad for you. (smokes out of the attack) You might have done better if you knew more about my artifact. You might even have landed a hit on me.
MC: Tired. Sitting on the bench now. / Damn... / Go, Tezcatlipoca!
(C) Tezcatlipoca: Haha, yes! Your support makes this waste of a battle worth it, BRRRROTHER! Keep watching me and only me!

Tanetomo is watching Tezcatlipoca. Ikutoshi notices.
Ikutoshi: You aren't focused on this fight with me.
Tanetomo: (surprised)
Ikutoshi: I'm good at seeing slips like that because that's what my artifact does. You have some other goal, so you don't want to keep this battle going, right?
Bathym: Say what, Ikki?
Ikutoshi: So I'll feel bad for Andvari, but I'm okay with letting you go. You'd owe me though, and I'll get you next time.
Tanetomo: (goes blank eyed) ...Yasuyori, 10 o'clock.
Yasuyori: SUMO STOOOMP!
Tanetomo: Beg pardon, but let us leave it at that. (dance-blocks Andvari's and Pollux's attacks)
Pollux: WHAT
Andvari: DAMMIT WHO BLABBED TO THEM
Somewhere else
Nomad: Bad vibes man

El Dorado Ruins again
The battle is over

Tezcatlipoca: ...to repeat myself. You guys are strong. I've just sacrificed more. Also I have a field power bonus here because that is apparently a thing.
Pollux: But this isn't actually over! You running away!?
Tezcatlipoca gives a little smile at how the Berserkers haven't lost heart despite losing the fight.

Tezcatlipoca: Yes, I know you aren't the type to leave things like that. How about we face you in the ring next time?
Ikutoshi: Uh huh. So can we expect you to show up then?
Tanetomo: ...yes, I'll set it up. Please leave things at that.
Andvari: Hey! I didn't agree to this!
The rest of Team Andvari drags him off.

Andvari: But my gold! I'll fight alone if I have to!

Tezcatlipoca: Okay, we're done. Time to pick up those slackers who aren't here.
MC: Nice going, Tezcatlipoca / Where are they? How can they be lost if Shennong is there?
Suddenly Mephistopheles and Yoritomo!
Mephistopheles: What a surprise to see the king and Faust here!
Yoritomo: Yes, very surprising. You always turn up in the strangest places, Little Brother.
MC: WHAT
Yoritomo: Please put your sword down I am getting flashbacks
Mephistopheles: I propose tea time! Set up by me of course!
Yoritomo: Doesn't that sound like a great idea, Tanetomo?

Tezcatlipoca steps forward to cover the party.
Tezcatlipoca: If you two have no business here we'd like to get by.
Mephistopheles: Ah, the guildmaster said you were doing something interesting in secret.
Tezcatlipoca: Yes, but we've just finished and will be on our way no--
Yoritomo: Now now, no need to hurry. Being hasty means you lose in politics, but then again you like losing things. On another note, have you wondered where your cheerleader and doctor may have went?

The mood goes cold and smoke starts filling the immediate area.
Tezcatlipoca: Are you saying you know something?
Yoritomo: I don't. Mephistopheles?
Mephistopheles: Hmm. Maybe some gold will jog my memory.
MC: EVIL / Oh no!
(A) Yoritomo: Don't look at me like that it upsets my stomach
Mephistopheles: Oh my, do you suspect us of doing something? We would NEVER kidnap our guildmates!

Tezcatlipoca sighs before handing the gold statue over.
Yoritomo: Wow you care a lot for your subordinates. You don't even know if we're telling the truth.
Tezcatlipoca: I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. If we get there, we are having WAR.
Yoritomo: Don't worry, I'm not that warlike. (hands Tezcatlipoca a note) They'll be there.
Mephistopheles: Good day. I'll put this statue to good use.
Mephistopheles and Yoritomo leave.
Tanetomo: ...are you sure? Wasn't that statue priceless?
Tezcatlipoca: That's true, but it still pales compared to the lives of my soldiers. No one should lose anything outside of war or the sacrificial altar. But anyways we should go, preferably faster than those machinators.
And so the party leaves.

Later
MC: I hope they're okay / Are you alright, Tezcatlipoca? / Uuugh
---
(A) Tezcatlipoca: No need to worry, I know how strong they are.
(B) Tezcatlipoca: Oh, do I look worried about them? Haha, it's fine. I'm sure they're okay.
(C) Tezcatlipoca: Are you tired, BRRRROTHER? If you can't run anymore, just say so. How about I carry you?
---
The party hurries along. Nobody says aloud whether they're worried about Shennong and Tiger Man. The location on the note isn't far away.

Later
MC: Is this it? I sense a bunch of people here.
Tezcatlipoca: Yes, there's many people here. Be on guard.
Tanetomo: Commander, we will circle around back for a pincer attack.
Yasuyori: MC, please be careful even if you are with the general.
And so the two conceal their presences and sneak off.

Tezcatlipoca: We go on three. One, two...
Tezcatlipoca throws the door open. Lots of loud noises!

End of episode

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