Shidemasu (narrating): So I was suddenly assigned to be a full time bodyguard and sent to a branch office on Earth. Also I would also be doing double duty doing sales as well.
Flashback!
Commanding Officer: Since the branch office in the Earth Sphere isn't actually a hero agency, you'll be transferred to S&S Heroes. Thanks for all you've done.
Shidemasu: Thank you, sir. I'm still surprised at this new post though. Is bodyguarding really in such high demand there?
CO: Well, nothing so big as those other warzones you came from. It should be a good chance to relax your nerves.
Shidemasu: Oh. I'm still fine, thank you.
CO: ...well, your superiors and I are worried you're carrying the smiling policy too far. Try getting more in touch with your emotions.
Shidemasu: Excuse me?
Shidemasu (narrating): I didn't understand at the time, but I did notice the effect I was having on people after I started working.
Shidemasu: Hello, I sell hero insurance. Would you like a new plan?
Hero Agency Prez: Oh, thank you. Yes, I was thinking of renewing our insurance. My son's a hero and got hospitalized the other day...
Shidemasu: Excellent timing. Would you like a plan that includes you as well? Only for a small charge more. :)
Hero Agency Prez: ...actually, nevermind. Please go away.
Shidemasu: Oh. Excuse me, did I upset you? It seems so.
Shidemasu (narrating): When did I last NOT smile? What do I even feel anymore? How can I possibly understand other people's emotions? So many cancellations came in that I was labeled the office sandbag.
Title Card: Is This Interpretation Correct?
Medical Scanner: Scanning... scanning... one concerning issue detected, performing deeper scan. Instruction or confirmation needed. Beep boop.
MC: Oh, I saw a med report. Said instruction or confirmation needed.
Okitaka: Huh, so that makes all three of us collar wearers.
Party's on the way to the lowest deck escape pod bay and read their med reports. "Instruction or confirmation needed" is highlighted in blue for everyone.
Bygul: Since it's blue, is that the difference between the red and blue lights? Also... urk! I can't pull the collar off no matter what!
Okitaka: You too? Welp.
Shidemasu: Rasalhague requested they health check even during hero transformations. As such, they likely have high impact resistance.
Okitaka: Oh, right. I remember readin' about light simulation battle plans with these things on. But how'd they disappear when we suit up?
Shidemasu: Hmm, I believe they have data on hero forms and blend in during transformation.
MC: Fancy.
Okitaka: Dang, that makes tellin' who has them in hero mode harder. With so many crazies around and them bein' so tough to wake up, we better not get fou--
Wolf A: I smell some RATS in here!
Trainee B: Unhealthy! You need guidance!
Shidemasu: Well, we've been found.
Okitaka: Okay fiiine. We gotta break through, don't be too rough!
Bygul: R-right! MC, transform us!
MC: Welp! (click)
Bygul: Bygul Punch!
Wolf A: I CAN FLYYYY (bam) oof
Bygul: Nobody else is coming, right? Whew, gotta pace myself.
MC: Actually I hear footsteps coming!
Okitaka: They must got an info net! We might need to back up sometimes!
Shidemasu: Allow me to intercept. I can predict their movements.
Shidemasu swings his staff around.
Wolf C: Some coffee lowers diabetes risks!
Shidemasu: Sealing Stamp: Restrain
Shidemasu shoots two light balls with Restrain written on them at the incoming mobs, leg locking them!
Mafia Guard D: Can't...move!
Shidemasu: It's a space enchantment on targets not under protection with aggression.
Mafia Guard D: WHAT
Wolf C: I-I...am buff enough to break through!
Shidemasu: Impressive. You're still stuck in place. (bam)
Wolf C: OOF
The reinforcements are down!
MC: Damn, you're strong.
Bygul: Whoa, you were outnumbered but you swept them all easily!
Shidemasu: Shall we continue?
Okitaka: R-right... are ya really just some insurance agent? Not a space soldier?
Shidemasu: I've seen my share of space wars. Let's go.
The party heads off.
Okitaka: (frown)
Okitaka looks sad about the KOed mob heroes.
Later
Shidemasu: Next floor down will finally be Deck 1.
Bygul: Finally! I never had to go back to back fighting like this before. Are we done with stealth sequences yet!?
Okitaka: ...yeah, I'm just about done with all this too.
Bygul: Okitaka, are you tired? You've been frowning for a while.
Okitaka: Huh? Oh, nah. I know we have to, but it still hurts seeing my agency coworkers go down.
MC: Yeah, but they are attacking us...
Shidemasu: Really? Why hesitate? Currently they are just threats who should be put down posthaste.
MC: I guess, but they're still our friends.
Okitaka: Yeah, we still care about them. Hurts to go against people I helped train.
Thinking Shidemasu.
Shidemasu: ...oh, I see now. My apologies, I have trouble reading others' emotions. But now I understand thanks to this situation and your explanation.
Okitaka: Ya never had any opinions about your comrades getting shot down? I know yer a soldier but still.
Shidemasu: I did at first... but not anymore after the damage I took.
Bygul: W-wait, you don't think anything about pain or suffering anymore?
Shidemasu: I can still feel physical pain. I just have no emotional response to it.
MC: A-are you a person? / damn, what kinda life did you have? Is that why you're always smiling?
(A) Shidemasu: Yes, I was born in Oomiya in Saitama.
Okitaka: I-I don't think they meant it like that.
Okitaka: ...so you're why the insurance company is lowering payout donations.
Shidemasu: There's no problems beyond working as a bodyguard. I double as a salesman a lot. I've bungled several pitches with my inability to read people... it must be why I'm doing the worst in the department. :)
Bygul: He says, smiling. Sales work sucks though.
Shidemasu: Oh, we're getting off track. But as a reminder, fighting our comrades here will be unavoidable.
Okitaka: Heh, you sound like Ichi now. But yeah, I get too emotional when making decisions so I gotta focus...
Okitaka claps his cheeks!
Okitaka: I wanna save everyone, but we're outnumbered. Plus, I got a Caster's support weapon, so y'all will have to frontline. I've got buffs to cast tho!
Bygul: Got it!
Shidemasu: Understood.
The party heads down! Okitaka sighs before moving.
Okitaka: Wish I had my old weapon in this case.
MC: Wait, you weren't always a Caster?
Okitaka: Loooong time ago, I was a frontliner. But then I got good at Tactics so I shifted roles. Don't remember what I wished for back then, but having more options woulda been good. Just a what if, though. Lessgo!
MC: Hmmmm...
MC's phone flashes for a second!
Okitaka: What's up? Get a move on!
MC: R-right!
Later
Barrel: (sniffs) Where arrre you, MC? I SEE A BLUE LI--oh it's just a reflection of my shoulder again.
Barrel and Furlong are in front of the escape pods.
MC: The UEHA doggos. Also wow Barrel walked off being shoved through a wall.
Bygul: Oof, I don't think they're leaving anytime soon...
Okitaka: And it just had to be them two...
Shidemasu: Shall we chop them on the head?
Okitaka: Geez, no! I mean maybe if you can get them both at once, else they'll call for help. Ain't there--oh someone's comin'.
Someone thumps heavily this way.
MC: Obsidius!
Okitaka: Oh yeah, he's in Heroic Educators? And he ain't transformed.
Obsidius: Shift change time. Resting important!
Barrel: Okay!
Furlong: Aromatherapy.
MC: jock talk. ooh, I wanna see big boys stretching.
Shidemasu: Hmm. So Rasalhague IS having this area guarded.
Bygul: In shifts, too!
Okitaka: Huh. Is Obsidius standin' guard alone?
Bygul: Maybe I should stretch too...
Bygul accidentally punches into the wall while stretching!
Bygul: AAAAAA
MC: Bygul!
Bygul pulls his hand out and rolls a little!
Okitaka: You okay!?
Bygul: I-I'm good, only my outside got shocked. I mean, nothing!
Obsidius: Who's there!?
Shidemasu: Oh. He noticed us.
MC: WELP. What now!?
Okitaka: ...fine, we gotta retreat!
Bygul: I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY
Wrestlers turn up!
Blue: What happened!? What smells burnt!? Burns are bad!
Purple: I heard something! My ears work fine!
Obsidius: They're running! After them!
The party runs and hides in a side room! Okitaka locks the door through a side panel. Someone is pounding on the other side!
Okitaka: Ahh, where are we!? The doors doubled up?
Shidemasu: I believe this is an escape pod for large groups, specially reinforced for landing impact. Perhaps the inner panels can start up the escape process?
MC: Convenient!
Okitaka: Welp. Given the circumstances, guess we'll have to. Once we're out, we gotta call in for--
Bygul: Um, are the pounding sounds getting louder?
MC: wait what
Yep! Lots of repeated crashing against the door!
Obsidius: YEEEAAAAHHH! Gotta break 'em all!
Obsidius broke in!
MC: Oh my god he tackled his way in! And not even in hero mode!
Okitaka: I thought you said this was reinforced!
Shidemasu: Hmm, perhaps the reinforcement was insufficient.
Some transformed wrestlers run in too!
Blue: Healthy muscle power!
Purple: Come, get health guidance!
Bygul: Uh, no thanks!
Obsidius: Hmm, UEHA's vice commander and...MC! Unhealthy!? Come along, I'll take care of you guys!
MC: Sounds great, but no thanks! / O-okay!
(C) Okitaka: OH GOD FOCUS MC
Okitaka: Thanks, but no thanks partner! Since y'all are here, we'll all fly out together then! Rasalhague's control oughta--what?
Panel: beep boop, error. door cannot close, launch sequence impossible
Okitaka: OH NO! Makes sense but still!
Obsidius: Still gonna resist, huh? Operator!
Obsidius transforms!
Obsidius: Beat them down and catch them!
Bygul: Oh no, not another battle!
Shidemasu: I see subduing the threats is our only option. :)
Okitaka: Are you ENJOYIN' this!? I mean I agree, but yeesh! MC, we gotta break through!
MC: Right, saw that coming! Can we win though!?
Obsidius: Heh! I may be an academic but I keep my workout routine up! Come at me, bros!
BATTLE START (more happens after)
Obsidius: Haha, is that it!? Guts!
Shidemasu: Oh I actually thought we had him.
Bygul: He just got back up again! What kind of freak is he!?
Purple: Health Power!
Blue: One of us! One of us!
Okitaka: They'll beat us if we can't find an opening! ...whoa!?
Okitaka grazes through a punch from Obsidius! Then...
Okitaka: OOF!
Obsidius follows up with a charge and body slams Okitaka onto the floor on top of him!
MC: Oh no, Okitaka! / god I wish that were me
(C) Bygul: WHAT? Okitaka!
Obsidius: Haha, got one! Next is...huh?
Some flash of light seems to bring Obsidius back to sanity. Then he gets up and frees Okitaka.
Obsidius: uhh...what was I doing?
MC: Obsidius?
Okitaka: What's happenin'?
Obsidius's bracelet beeps and projects a screen with some med results.
Purple: (gasp!) Unhealthy!
Blue: Health guidance!
Obsidius: Who the hell are you guys!? Leggo!
Blue and Purple: AAAAAA
Obsidius throws Blue and Purple into the walls, and they fall down motionless!
Shidemasu: How strong.
Bygul: W-whoa, one-shot even though it took me forever to beat them...
MC: yep, he's a power type. But is he sane again!?
Obsidius: what the hell is happening? MC? ...Ahh, sorry for standing over you, Okitaka!
Okitaka: It's cool, you're back to normal somehow. Them two are down so...let's get outta here and fill ya in later.
Obsidius: Uh, okay.
Later
Obsidius: Damn, I did all that? My bad. I only remember up until gettin' a dental exam.
Bygul: Hmm. Your collar was red when we first met you, but now it's blue.
Shidemasu: And it's still connected through Rasalhague, so is it updating its results?
Obsidius: Oh yeah there was some results screen when I woke up.
Okitaka: Can ya check it? Maybe it'll prove whether our reports sayin' "needs guidance" is why people keep chasin' us.
Obsidius: Oh, okay! ...how do I make this work?
MC: over here on the bracelet... / wow you really do suck with tech
(A) Obsidius: Oh, thanks! I suck with tech and--oh!
(B) Obsidius: W-what!? It's my first time using this thing! Oh!
Obsidius: Lessee... "abnormality found while scanning, changing to needs guidance"!? What's wrong with me, then!? I'm totally fine!
Obsidius stops scrolling his report screen.
Obsidius: oh
MC: Found something?
Obsidius: Uhhh, it's private!
sus
Shidemasu: Oh, so you can't say so in public? Is this interpretation correct?
Obsidius: What's it to you!?
Okitaka: Now now, y'all. Anyways, guess that means all of us got tagged like that. And these cuffs really are scannin' us and decidin' whether we need guidance, whatever that is. Rasalhague mind controls whoever doesn't.
Obsidius: Dude, what the HELL. Peekin' at my bod's one thing but my mind too!? RUDE! Get... this... thing... offa me!
Obsidius used Rip Off! It wasn't very effective...
Bygul: Yeah, I couldn't get that to work either.
Obsidius: Sheesh, what's this thing made of? It better stop invadin' my privacy!
beep boop, digivice noises!
MC: wait, him too?
Okitaka: Right now, the only way to stop the scans and mind control is to stop Rasalhague. We need help, so you in Obsidius?
Obsidius: I'm in! I wanna help my kouhais too so... anyways, I'm also a geo prof specializing in metals, so I'm pretty smart too! I can help somehow!
MC: Yay! / oh right you are an academic
Obsidius: Let's save our friends, MC!
Shidemasu: ...oh. Everyone?
Okitaka: Okay, time to recheck our plans now that we got a bigger party!
Bygul: Maybe try the escape pod deck again?
Shidemasu: Excuse me, everyone?
MC: What's up?
Shidemasu: We've been surrounded. :)
Rest of Party: what
Barrel and Furlong turn up with a couple of trainee heroes!
MC: OH NO
Okitaka: I slipped up!?
Obsidius: How'd so many of them get here without us knowing!?
Bygul: Shidemasu, you knew!?
Shidemasu: Only after it was too late. I was also absorbed in the discussion.
Barrel: Heh, bet you didn't know UEHA drilled us in Presence Concealment too!
Okitaka: Nice, but all y'all youngins keep sittin' there all quiet like in our meetings!
Furlong: Everyone, please take the health guidance for your own good!
Obsidius: Bitch, I ain't listening to no puppet zombie!
Okitaka: ...right! MC, we gotta fight our way ou--
Trainee Mobs: Chief!
Okitaka: oh no!
Okitaka drops his guard!
Barrel: Gotcha!
Okitaka: OH NO
Barrel caught Okitaka!
MC: Okitaka!
Obsidius: Let go!
Barrel: Whoa!
Barrel dodges Obsidius and runs back to Furlong!
Red: Well we got Chief at least! Let's go bring him in first!
Green: Yeah, one at a time!
Furlong: It's okay, we'll be with you!
Barrel: Bye guys!
Okitaka: STOP, LEMME GO
The mind controlled heroes run away with Okitaka!
Obsidius: Get back here! ...dammit. MC, transform us! We're going after them!
Shidemasu: Hmm. So they actually can change tactics.
Bygul: Stop being impressed! We have to hurry, MC!
MC: Yeah! I wonder where they're going...?
And so the party leaves.
End of Episode
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