Flashback!
One day at the Museum of Prayers...
Carbuncle: There you are, you freak!
Gargoyle's aura farming up high.
Gargoyle: Ahh Carbuncle, come to admire me in all my stony beauty?
Carbuncle: Get back to your priest work already! Ugh, is this what Tokyoites mean by idiots and smoke liking high places?
Gargoyle: Excuse you, it is The Great Gargoyle and smoke like high places!
Carbuncle: welp I walked into that one...hey, do you ever worry about how people look at you?
Gargoyle: Hm? How so?
Carbuncle: Like people suddenly attacking you or declaring their undying love. Who do those jerks think I am?
Fun fact, Carbuncle's from a subrealm of El Dorado. And in El Dorado, the higher up you are, the more sacrifices you have to make. Which leaves World Rep Tezcatlipoca with pretty much nothing left of himself. Which also means those who see will take in his majesty.
Gargoyle: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT PEOPLE WHO SEE MY ROCK HARD BOD WILL WEEP IN REVERENCE?
Carbuncle: Peeeerv!
Gargoyle: ...so, you're worried about me?
Carbuncle: Uhhhh, no???
Gargoyle: Ha! I lose nothing by being beheld! It is because people have their impressions as they see me that my wish will come true.
Carbuncle: ...what wish is that?
Gargoyle: To be bigger and beefier than anyone. Know what's the biggest thing in the universe is?
Carbuncle: ...no, what?
Gargoyle: Imagination. It can surpass the speed of light! I take the impressions of those who look at me and become amazing.
Carbuncle: what
Gargoyle: Stare and be amazed! (poses and stares into the distance)
Carbuncle: (stares)
Carbuncle can't tell what Gargoyle's looking at, but thinks it's weird he's looking there instead of at him.
Carbuncle: Pft, ignoring me like a jackass. Looky here! La la la~
Gargoyle: Hm? Were you singing just now, Carbuncle?
Carbuncle: W-what? Nobody said I couldn't!
Gargoyle: It's fine. Maybe you should join the choir.
Carbuncle: Oh. I-it's not like a compliment from you means anything.
Gargoyle: Then you can sing about how hot and beautiful I am!
Carbuncle: Dammit I knew this was about you, you jackass!
Present
All teams have assembled for Ultimate Human Chariot Battle.
Gargoyle: Normally I prefer being the rider since it's higher up, but oh well. I insist on being the front horse though because it's closer to the spotlight!
Aegir: Nah, I should be up front!
Gargoyle: I'll fight you for it.
Girimekhala: guys just rps for it
MC: maybe we have a shot at winning this actually
Aegir: still gonna be tough since 2nd place is only 9 points behind. Be careful in case everyone gangs up on us.
Girimekhala: and obviously everyone else is tough too
Team Yoyogi
Durga: Counting on you Senpais and Coach! I'll lead us to victory!
Gunzo: We gotta do our best, Wakan-senpai! We can't lose at this of all games!
Team Eastern Tokyo
Masashi: The time for Shinbei's spotlight has come! I am in your care, you three!
Onyankopon: We should be fine on horses if Super Pope is here. Do your best, Kid Detective.
Team Kudan
Musashi: I'm getting revenge for the sumo showing! Persona change, go!
Kagutsuchi: why are we here and not Shiva and Jagannath?
Juugo: they told us to go, so we'll just have to deal with it
Heracles: Don't worry, I can handle anything anyone throws at us.
Kagutsuchi: Oh. I'll do my best to help!
Team Shinjuku
Touji: I am counting on you all, Tsukuyomi-senpai, Shuten-senpai, Takabushi.
Tsukuyomi: Don't worry about us.
Team Southern Tokyo
Q'ursha: Where're the army guys? I gotta pay them back even if Loki ain't out this time.
Volkh: you are too much of a lone wolf
Team Army Prison
Shennong: damn, Loki drew so much aggro to us. Also why did I get assigned to be the rider?
Tezcatlipoca: Sounds appropriate for our standard bearer to me!
Shennong: Medic's good enough for me. Also I'm concerned about my Poison Body.
Balor: No fear, for it strengthens my Mystic Eye!
Team Bukuro
Ikutoshi: Alright, counting on you three.
Mac Roich: I got this! My charge might knockback anyone!
Beep
Claude: Ahh, how wonderful to see everyone so motivated! Now for the rules: same as regular human chariot battles. Meaning teams whose riders lose their headbands or fall off will lose. Horses cannot use their powers, but no other restrictions are in. Defeat a team, gain five points. Last team standing gets another five. Understood? Then take your positions!
Bang! Game start!
Durga, Musashi, and Masashi: GET THEM
Three teams incoming!
Aegir: Go left!
Gargoyle: Go right!
Girimekhala: WAIT WHAT
MC: Left! / Right! / Goddammit, don't start now!
Team Carbuncle somehow barely makes it through!
Later
Ikutoshi: Snow, let's get in there!
Snow: Very well. Pollux, Mac Roich, follow my lead as we hit their blind spots!
Team Bukuro attacks Team Kudan!
Ikutoshi: Nice plan, Snow! Here we go!
Musashi dodges!
Ikutoshi: Wait, that was a back attack and you were on shaky ground! How!?
Musashi: Skill issue, as they say.
Musashi uses Snatch! But it fails!
Musashi: Ah, good insight on your horses.
Snow: You honor me. I am always prepared to be ridden by my Master if need be.
Pollux: Also, stop running! Mac Roich, let's charge them down!
Mac Roich: Okay!
Charge!
Heracles: Heh, I've tamed my share of horses in my time. We will charge them back!
Kagutsuchi: W-wait, I don't think we can take that kind of recoil!
Juugo: Gut up, Kagutsuchi! It's time we showed what we're made of!
Who's gonna win!? Who knows actually.
Q'ursha: Surprise.
Q'ursha jump in, steals Ikutoshi's headband, and jumps back!
Ikutoshi: Oh.
Q'ursha: Sucks to be you.
Volkh: Have some consideration for us, you massive twit!
Q'ursha: Just pretend I'm Perun. You'd like him to jump on you, right?
Volkh: N-no, not at all!
Q'ursha: After the army guys now!
Shennong: You called? You just can't get enough of us, huh? Anyways, have a surprise.
Yamasachi: wait WHAT I've been paralyzed!
Formation break!
Ixbalanque: Wait, paralysis gas!
Shennong: Nothing life threatening, I assure you.
Q'ursha: Oh fuck you guys. Take them down with us!
Q'ursha jumps at Volkh.
Shennong: Too bad, he won't fall for that.
Volkh evades! But...
Q'ursha: Heh. Sucks to suck.
Shennong's headband gets cut up!
Touji: Thank you for falling for the decoy.
Shennong: Dang.
Meanwhile
Durga and Masashi: Get back here!
MC: NO
Both teams are gaining on Team Carbuncle! Getting close...!
Gargoyle: Ugh, fine. Hang on!
Gargoyle literally carries the team and flies up!
Masashi: WHAT?
Aegir: Nice, we got flying horses all over in Yggdrasil!
Girimekhala: You okay!? I mean, I know how fat I am...
Gargoyle: Iiiii am totally fiiiiine! HURK!
MC: Hang in there, Gargoyle! / Nice! / Yeeeah I believe we can fly!
Gargoyle: K-keep the compliments coming! I can hold out...a little bit...at least!
Masashi: Horus, do something!
Horus: STOP BEING RIDICULOUS!
Onyankopon: Calm down. Let's change targets.
Masashi: Indeed! Musashi, fight?
Musashi: Very well.
Durga: We should change plans too. Ready guys?
Avarga: Yep!
Wakan Tanka: Go go go!
Touji: Okay, who should we go after next? Yoyogi?
Sudden attack on Team Shinjuku!
Kengo: WAIT WHAT how'd that happen!?
Shuten: I'm still good, y'all.
Durga: Wow, you guys actually tanked that. (activates Weapon Morph) Surprise!
Durga snares Touji!
Durga: Gotcha!
Touji: Oh no!
Durga knocks Touji off! Five points to Team Yoyogi!
Meanwhile, Masashi and Musashi are swordfighting!
Masashi: Impressive swordplay!
Musashi: I'm impressed you can keep up.
Horus: Masashi, over there!
Heracles: Musashi, hang in there!
Peanut gallery cheerleading and commentary! End result, mutual takedown.
Gargoyle: Okay as strong as I am, I can't carry the team much longer!
MC: Oh no! / Uhhh, hang in there? / nice beef!
Durga: Okay finally you're back on the ground. Let's do this!
MC: Welp. Bring it on, Durga!
BATTLE START (more happens after)
MC and Durga throwing hands! Durga uses Weapon Morph and tries to catch MC!
MC: I saw what you did with Touji! I'm not falling for that!
The rest of each sides' teams try knocking each other down!
Gunzo: I've taken harder hits in rugby!
Gargoyle: Oof, tired...
Aegir: Is that really all you have, Gargoyle!?
Gargoyle: Need... attention... blargh...
Girimekhala: OH NO
MC: Hold on a little longer! Hey Durga, let's end this!
Durga: Okay!
MC and Durga square up...
Claude: Time's up! Teams Carbuncle and Yoyogi are the last teams standing, so both get the survival points! First place, Team Carbuncle at 50 points! 2nd, Team Yoyogi and Southern Tokyo at 41 points! 4th, Teams Shinjuku and Army Prison with 39 points! 6th apparently, Team Kudan at 39 points! (shouldn't they also be 4th, what is up with that.) 7th, Team Bukuro at 37 points! 8th, Team Eastern Tokyo at 33 points! Final game for the last round will be Ultimate Baseball, everyone is playing! Rule explanations when everyone gets back on the field!
Later
Carbuncle: Wow you really did great for a self-centered jackass, Gargoyle.
Gargoyle: You are on the line, after all.
Carbuncle: wait what?
Gargoyle: Who's going to be my hype singer if you're gone?
Carbuncle: Dammit, you ARE an asshole! But anyways, nice work getting us to 50 points, MC!
MC: Thanks to the horsemen. Glad I could keep us in the lead.
Carbuncle: You really did well even with three teams on your ass. Then that last fight with Team Yoyogi was cool!
Gargoyle: Ahh, a compliment for me? That was rather intense.
Carbuncle: Aegir, Girimekhala, nice job holding up against the other jocks!
Gargoyle: I'M NOT FEELING ANY LOVE FOR CARRYING THE TEAM HERE!
MC: Thanks Gargoyle. Hottest statue in Tokyo!
Gargoyle: Mmm, yeeessss.
Otohime: Last round. Is everyone ready?
Girimekhala: Yeah. Still could get knocked off here, so stay focused.
Chernobog: And everyone is playing here. But no worries my brave. I shall defend you.
Aegir: Let's kick all the asses.
Field
Claude: Ahhh, the smell of sweat and socially acceptable violent competition. This shall be an event for the ages! Before we explain the rules, let us activate the stage!
Beep! Arena set, screens pop up in the center!
Claude: Welcome to Cyber Shinjuku! All teams are getting their explanations in their waiting rooms. If you're wondering how this baseball game is supposed to work, it's also a dodgeball game with baseballs and body markers! Five balls a team, and balls caught in gloves can be used by the other team. Designated captains are worth 5 points while everyone else is 1 point! Game goes on until only one team is left standing, and that team gets 5 points for every surviving member. Anyone could win!
Other rules: multiple balls in one throw is allowed. Captain/pitcher goes down, team goes down too. Vice captain is catcher and...something. Outfielders get mapping functions and infielders get stealth suits. Each team has two batters that can hit up to three balls at a time. Anyone can switch in as relief pitcher whenever.
Aegir: Huh, so if your whole team lives to the end, you can get 35 points just off that.
Girimekhala: MC's our captain, right?
MC: WHAT / okay / isn't it Carbuncle?
Carbuncle: Pass. I don't wanna be the escort NPC.
Otohime: Who will be the relief pitcher?
Chernobog: I think you would do well in that, Lady Otohime.
Gargoyle: NO, ME! If I'm not captain, I want to be the most visible!
Aegir: You better not mess it up then. Okay Otohime, you're outfielding. You oughta be good at the map stuff.
Chernobog: I'd like to volunteer as catcher. Better to defend the captain as.
Aegir: I guess you ARE the tankiest of us.
MC: wait when did you put on baseball stuff / looks good!
Chernobog: President Zao and Durga got me this when we played baseball one time.
Girimekhala: Uh, guess I'm an infielder? But I suck at Presence Concealment...
Carbuncle: Ooh, I'll do it then.
Otohime: So all that's left is figuring out how to put on our markers to be as best defended as possible.
Gargoyle: Tee hee, I am an adult and putting mine Down There.
Carbuncle: I will knock your ass out right here right now if I have to.
Gargoyle: NO WAIT STOP
Aegir: Damn, focus guys. Also we can't use powers to block balls? Harsh. Let's kick ass, Carbuncle!
Carbuncle: Yeah!
Chernobog: Team hype up moment?
Girimekhala: Okay! Make it a LOUD hype up moment!
Group huddle! Everyone looks at Carbuncle.
Carbuncle: (inhales) GO TEAM! YEEEAAAAHHHH!
Party: Yeah!
Carbuncle: MC, we're kicking all the projecting asses!
Fist bump?
MC: (fist bump) All them asses.
Field
Claude: Okay, random spawn points for everyone. Let the last game begin!
End of Episode part
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