Perun thought of Veles as someone who became eternal via disappearing from everywhere. On another note, Kitezh is the world with the System of Diffusion, trying to achieve eternity by assimilating with a greater entity. A person's body may decay and become soil, but as long as the earth exists that person is believed to be immortal. Theoretically, that meant Perun should be the best with his magical pestle thing being able to mentally dominate anyone. Whoo, total nondefinition of the self! Which led to him ordering book burning since that would define and confine him. But as powerful as he was, Perun wasn't able to listen to the words of a dead poet. Veles was like a jester, the only one in the realm able to tell Perun what a dick he was. And then Veles denied Perun's all-mightiness by dying and being the only one to never listen to him. Perun reciting a poem that would go nowhere started after that.
Present
Q'ursha: Uh, who said a million is a statistic and a single death is a tragedy? Whatever. Point is, we take in what hurts us and carry it for the rest of our lives. Why am I even talking about this? Hey guys, let's play basketball!
Later
Gabriel: Hello, nice rehearsal! ...what's up, Nyarly?
Nyarlathotep: bored now. Where's the fuuuun stuff?
Gabriel: But you got fans waiting to hear your sick beats!
Nyarlathotep: Fu--oh wait I almost said the exact same thing I said the past few days!
Gabriel and Nyarlathotep are taking five. Someone frowns hard from the editing booth.
Aizen: How DARE Nyarlathotep make a mockery of my Summertime Slut-Shaming Radio Show! But it's impressive Gabriel simplified my three days' worth of work to thirty minutes. Don't you agre--
No one is there. Someone is supposed to be there.
???: No wait, p-please stop it's almost time for us to be on air!
???: Hahaha, try and stop an emperor if you dare!
Bam! Perun!
MC: Oh no this is awful!
Nyarlathotep: Huh. Attack of the crazy stan?
Gabriel: I just heard MC! ...did you do something, Nyarly?
Nyarlathotep: Nope! I'd be jazzing it the fuck up more than this if I did!
Perun: Hail, peasants! This is a takeover!
Echo: I-I'm sorry, I tried to stop him!
MC: sorry Echo / quick, backstab the bitch / I can't believe we're literally hijacking the show!
Nyarlathotep: Niiice
Gabriel: This isn't anything new anymore but come on, we're about to start!
Aizen: WHAT!? ...wait, you're the ones working with Ophion at the Fabulous Summer Host! Get out, back to the waiting room for you! Employees only!
Perun: I just sponsored the radio station. How about that? Also, Aizen was it? Servant of Ophion? We're here as Summer Hosts, but go ahead, kick us out! See what happens!
Aizen: Are you suggesting Lord Ophion ordered you here? Without evidence!? I reject your--
Gabriel and Nyarlathotep pop out of the sound booth.
Gabriel: Why don't we hear him out? If he came all this way he must have a plan, right?
Perun: Heh. Of course!
Later
Echo: (stares)
MC: I'm so sorry / wow, you're an audio girl now! / what just happened guys
---
(A) Echo: O-oh, no it's okay...
(B) Echo: I-it's not that big a deal! I just learned from doing announcements at school...
---
Aizen: There's smooth-talking happening about this takeover somehow!
Echo: Apparently he really IS radio staff according to the paperwork.
MC: what, no / I guess he WOULD make a good DJ / He listens to the radio while farming
Echo: Oh, I just thought so because Perun brought his own radio program like this one radio drama I liked. Most people don't know it, so maybe he listens to it all day?
MC: He doesn't seem like it / maybe because he likes poetry? / virality...
Echo: Well, it feels really poetic? He seems like a person who'd do great talking to himself in a booth. I wish I was as energetic as him...
Echo looks at Gabriel and Perun vibing.
MC: Could do without the storm tho / no, don't be like him / I know that feel, sorta
Echo: ...hee hee. I better get back to work soon, I'll make it great. (smiles and walks over to audio equipment)
Gabriel: Echo, can I talk to you for a sec?
Echo: Oh, o-okay! Uh...we can swing that.
Perun: Hahaha, yes! Pave the way for me, serf!
Echo: U-UM OKAY
Showtime!
Nyarlathotep: T minus 10 seconds! And counting...!
Boop
Perun: HEAR YE HEAR YE, COMMONERS! It's time for the Emperor Host's program hijack!
Rando A: WHAT
Rando B: But I was looking forward to Gabriel talk!
Gabriel: (wait we're already going off script!? Uh, we can fix it!)
Gabriel nods to Echo to start playing elevator music like mood music for the beach host club.
Gabriel: Yay, this is always so fun! I'm your dead end show host girl next door Gabri--wait that sounds too heavy on the moe.
Perun: (Girl, you're throwing out the script too!?)
Gabriel dramatically winks! Echo smiles.
Gabriel: So I was listening to this old radio drama of a host hijacking the air. Then I decided to visit the host club, but no one was as cute as me. Boo, who could that host beeee?
Perun: Girl you showed up, put on headphones, and didn't ask for anyone.
Gabriel: OMG it's Perun!
Perun: Indeed! Rejoice at my presence, lass!
Gabriel: Gasp, rude! I-it's not like I'm happy or anything!
Perun: I like them stubborn, but honest is better. You see this?
Perun slaps down some piece of paper! Echo adds sound effects to the show.
Gabriel: What? A map of...all the other Tycoon projects? A stamp rally, what?
Perun: Yes, a map of exhibitions of the VIPs in Odaiba. The world is bigger than you see, so seek them out if tedium rules your lives! And if that STILL does not satisfy you, come see me.
Gabriel: What if I never come back?
Perun: Oh you'll come to me. It is inevitable.
Gabriel: ...you're the last spot on the rally, aren't you.
Inhale noise.
Gabriel: Hi guys, surprised? Stamp rally's tomorrow!
Perun: Yes! And I do indeed have the last spot! Our collaborators are offering discounts and special services, and I of course will give the royal treatment for anyone who has seen them all.
Gabriel: Ooh, maybe I'll go too. Check them out, everybody! Okay, time to end the show today with a medley of my song--
Perun: No, MINE
Later
Show's done, Perun and MC are going back.
Perun: Yes, I AM a genius who has managed everything just as planned. You've done well to keep up with me. Now tell me how ingenious I was to finagle customers and profits from all of Odaiba!
MC: wild day today / nice job, methods aside / are we really going to win this way?
Perun: All profits go to the host club because of contract clauses! Child's play!
MC: and people agreed to that???
Perun: You saw, no force or duress was involved here. Plus, if they break contract there's less advertising happening for them. The discounts and special services are up to them. I actually worry no one will come to challenge us.
Getting near the beach host club. About time to announce today's winning host.
Perun: Remember, you are mine when I make the beach host club the winning project.
MC: I wasn't a part of that decision / nah / okay
(AB) Perun: But I said so!
(C) Perun: Ha, so you've fallen for me!
Perun: ...having said that, talk is cheap. You always did disregard my will, irritating me better than anything.
MC: chaos, chaos! Chaos is other people, and I'm never following your orders.
Perun: Ah yes, the insolence I've come to expect. Well, see my imperial wrath!
Perun yeets MC into the sea!
MC: EXCUSE ME WHAT
Perun catches MC at the last second!
Perun: HA! Did you think I would actually let you go!?
MC: (punch his stomach) / you are such an asshole!
---
(A) Perun: Is violence your love language now? Hmm...
---
Perun smiles while looking at MC.
Perun: (I never did remember what you said at the end. It can't have been important. These memories will fade away too one day...)
MC: Hello, Earth to Perun, come in Perun / (splash his face) / Are you trying to think up poetry?
---
(AC) Perun: !!
Perun: Nothing. How about we play in the water?
(B) Perun: HOW DARE! Fine, I shall dominate you here then!
---
Perun: Time to make new memories! ...wait why do I have to make those memories myself?
MC: what. Can I just leave then?
Perun: It should be me, the emperor carving new memories into others!
Hmm. Headache?
Perun: Hmph, whatever. I do as I please. Prepare yourself MC, it's time to faff about!
Later
Y'golonac: ...so y'all been splashin' around all day?
Perun: Jealous? Haha!
Y'golonac: N-naw...jus' thinkin' whether I gotta say more stuff to MC.
MC: No? / (blush) / (spank his ass)
---
(AC) Y'golonac: Tee hee, kidding.
(B) Y'golonac: Aww das cute.
---
Y'golonac: Oh wait it's almost time to declare today's number one!
Perun: Well whoever it is can thank their stars we were out today!
Tsukuyomi: Okay, time to announce today's number one people. We got TWO winners actually! Shino and Tetsugyuu!
Dramatic spotlight entrance!
Shino: Ha, very well!
Tetsugyuu: Thanks, guys!
MC: wait what / yeah! / (side-eye Y'golonac)
(C) Y'golonac does the guilty whistle!
Y'golonac: Ahem. We tried hard for y'all.
Perun: Heh. Tomorrow's stamp rally will blow today out of the water.
Y'golonac: Now now, I helped them out a lot today too.
Shino and Tetsugyuu notice MC is back!
Shino: MC! You came to see my glorious triumph! Might you come closer?
Tetsugyuu: Boss, come whoop it up here with me!
A bunch of mobs carry MC over to the stage!
MC: wait WHAT / Yeaaaah! / Noooo~
Perun: What, how DARE
Shino: Silence, loser! WE won!
Suddenly, help arrives!
Sarutahiko: Hold up, something is wrong with these guys!
Bael: Yes you two won, but that doesn't give you the right of free rein!
Sarutahiko and Bael block the way!
Tetsugyuu: Move or I'll kill ya, Sarutahiko!
Sarutahiko: What, you ain't like that! ...mostly?
Bael: I see we must open your eyes by force. Barong, help me!
Barong: Eh, this is fine isn't it?
MC: NO??? / I guess / HELP
---
(AC) Barong: Oh okay, I'll help then.
(B) Barong: See? No problems then.
Sarutahiko and Bael: YES THERE IS
Barong: What? Are you guys jeal--
Bael: SHUT UP AND HELP! This is going to bother the customers!
Barong: Hmm, makes sense. Okay, I'm in!
---
Shino: Ah, so you want to die then?
Tetsugyuu: Boss, we gonna kill sum dicks!
Perun: ...heh.
MC: Huh, you're less bothered by this than I figured you'd be. / (stare)
Perun: I do not sing for just anyone, but I might if it's just you. (starts singing) Hear this peerless love song!
BATTLE START (more happens after)
Shino: Uh, what were we doing?
Battle over, Shino and Tetsugyuu are sane again.
Tetsugyuu: Ayo? Sarutahiko, why are you sitting on the floor?
Sarutahiko: Dude you were swinging your ax at me! At least you're sane again...
Y'golonac: Nice, you two are back to normal!
Bael and Tsukuyomi grab Y'golonac by the ears!
Bael: So! Care to explain what happened to them?
Tsukuyomi: You aren't going to use the five year old's argument of "well they aren't customers," are you?
Y'golonac: N-no? My Mental Corruption ain't sumthin' you just slap outta someone. Also YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING
Shino and Tetsugyuu seem confused.
Bael: Okay just to remind you, your power is dangerous. If I see you using it casually, I will arrest you.
Tsukuyomi: Bael? Are you--
Bael walks off. Tsukuyomi seems to get it, sighs, then calls Shino and Tetsugyuu over.
Y'golonac: (bonked) OW
Shino:(bonked) OW
Tetsugyuu: (bonked) OW what was that for!?
Tsukuyomi: Okay it's good this didn't blow up too bad, but it could've been serious.
Shino: Wait, this was my idea. Well I know I wasn't disciplined enough but that feeling of desires being released--
Shino looks off to the distance. Everyone gets it.
Tetsugyuu: Felt good though!
Tsukuyomi: Oh you two. Well get up there, the people are waiting. And wow I really suck at managing people.
Y'golonac: Well I like that part of ya.
Tsukuyomi: !!
Tsukuyomi: You can be so cocky. But thanks.
Later
Tetsugyuu: Okay sorry about that, peeps. Let's get to singing!
Shino: MC, please forgive our forcefulness earlier. Also, would you sing with me? I've sung in front of an audience, so.
MC: Okay / Fiiiine / No I suck too!
---
(C) Tetsugyuu: Aww, too bad. I'll sing with you Shino!
Shino: At least stay nearby please, MC!
MC: oh well okay then!
---
Shino: ...okay. I'm going to sing about the Hakkenshi now!
MC: what
Cheering crowd! And one shifty guy.
Perun: Hmph. So one must be seen by the commoners to make an impression.
Y'golonac: Bro what are you plottin'?
Perun: Ah, Y'golonac. Come help me with my project.
Y'golonac: Meeeh. Can I just not?
Perun: Oh okay I'll ditch all my plans and take MC then.
Y'golonac: Oh FIIIINE I'll hear ya out at least.
Next day
Even bigger crowds!
Rando A: Last stop for the stamp rally! What's the emperor host gonna give us?
Rando B: Wow, this is the same place Gabriel went too!
Sooo many people.
Rando C: All the stamp rally places were cool!
Perun: Of course! Now which one was the best?
Rando C: Uhh...the VR game? The musical?
Perun: !?
Perun: Hmm, I misheard you. Which. Was. The best? (lifts Rando C's chin)
Rando C: Umm, you? Oh wait will you step on me if I say something else?
Perun: How...transparent of you. I can do so, but which is it?
Rando C: I'm sorry, it's you!
Perun: Ha, I knew you'd say that. Hold out your glass and I will reward you by pouring you a drink!
So many bottles being poured. Perun's pretty much winning today.
MC: Wow, it worked! / He's motivated today / OMG he's actually serving drinks!
Y'golonac: Gwehehe, hey MC? Noticed how Perun changed? Feels like he finally at the startin' point.
MC: You had to train him last night huh? / Wow, he did. / Must've been rough.
Y'golonac: Bro 'pparently wanted to go for Number 1 and sing after seein' Shino and Tetsugyuu up there last night. He been practicin' singin...sumthin' or other. Called it a poetry readin', wanted to read to you.
Applause from Perun's table!
Rando D: I finished the stamp rally, Perun!
Perun: Well that was fast. Kneel before me!
Perun makes Rando D sit and pours one out for them.
Perun: Well done indeed!
Perun looks for MC and walks over.
Perun: Come over and get on the mic with me!
MC: but why tho / Okay! / man I'm so popular
(A) Perun: The set's incomplete without you. Don't think you'll get away.
Perun: I'm going to pick a new song today.
MC: did you even sleep last night / no bragging songs / huh, okay
---
(A) Perun: What kind of pleb do you take me for? I am extremely bus--(yawn)
(B) Perun: I'm not that much of a one-trick pony. I have just the thing!
---
Perun turns on the karaoke machine.
MC: (a the-one-that-got-away song?) / (a song about being tied down?) / (it's Perun's brag track)
---
(C) Perun: Oh, wrong one!
---
Perun: Here, a pop song about love. Perfect for summer.
Perun drags MC up on stage.
Perun: Hear my words and rejoice, peons!
Randos: Yaaay, Perun!
Cheering! Perun looks at MC and whispers.
Perun: I will only sing this song once. As emperor, I must take everything! Now, sing with me!
And so the song begins as the day comes to an end.
End of Episode
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